How to feel "horsey" with no horse?

[Miss Sin]

Lately I've been plagued with feeling fake and like I'm not really a "horse-person", I've been out of touch for a little while trying to manage my own life/work/education etc in varying phases and this has meant its been a year and a half since I gave up my last part-loan and I've sort of just floated since, taking rides off friends where and when I get them (not massively frequently). I used to feel SO horsey, it was like my life revolved around it, across the last 8 years I've had many part-loans, a full loan, owned 2 (unfortunately briefly due to circumstances), taken a years equine course, even joined the equine society at uni (since left)... but now I feel so seperated from it all. Covid really blocked me from starting to access it again once I started to be in the place to... and I'm still there now. I want to take regular lessons as I haven't done for a long time and would like to get riding fit/sharper on my skills before considering another part loan, but obviously am in the same position as many others and this isn't an option for now.

Re-joining this site I REALLY feel fake, I feel like any opinions and advice I may wish to give are invalid. Imposter syndrome. It feels very strange, like a piece of my identity that has just sort of dissolved - my current partner has never really known my life involving horses (or doing too much at all really considering we met last Jan!). "Biker" has been more of my life in the past few years than "equestrian" and both have quite large community/cultural elements, seems it might be hard trying to prioritise hobbies once I have both back in play!

I'm not 100% sure what I want from this post, reassurance? Anecdotes? Advice?

 

[Archangel]

My life has revolved around horses for 40 years, once it was eat, sleep, breathe horses, then when life changed a bit (usually for the worse) it was less horses and more something else, then back to horses. I moved house, then had to move again quickly and all my stuff was packed up for a couple of years. When I unpacked it all it was like rediscovering horses, even though I did actually still have horses. Sounds weird but it was like that.

Give imposter syndrome the big heave ho and just jump in. I'm on some Facebook groups (self-sufficiency, permaculture) and I am not as in to it as most of the followers. But I am learning shed loads and one day I will jump in to the full flow as it were - muck heaps came up the other day and I am an expert on those after all these years of mucking out,

 

[JackFrost]

You're not fake. You have proved just how real a horseperson you are by your post. You haven;t lost all your previous experience just because you are not currently using it, and you will put it to use again (I predict ) in the future.
A lot of riders and horse owners at the moment are feeling cut off and isolated from their normal activities and companionship, so until all the restrictions end, you are in good company! If you are going to have a break from horses, now is the time.
Sometimes it takes having time away from something to help you work out what's important to you and decide which direction to go in.

 

[J&S]

I suspect most of us have had to leave the horse life for some reason or another, work, marriage, children or a combination of any of these might mean a pause in proceedings. What you have already done and what you already know is "banked" and will be there waiting for you to utilise it when the time is right.

 

[Baywonder]

@Miss Sin you are not fake at all. In fact, I had exactly the same feelings as you when I joined this forum too.

I haven't had a horse for many years, but I am still obsessed with them. Being on this forum helps me get my horsey 'fix', and I could spend hours browsing through all of the topics and threads.

Also, my DH's job is very horse related. I love to watch him work and discuss different things with him, which again gives me that horsey fix!

What you have learnt in the past is still relevant and it is valuable experience. When anyone needs help or advice on this forum, we all pull together, give our advice, and usually the problem is solved one way or another.

All in all, we aren't a bad bunch really!

 

[spider]

You could join a riding club, do the non-riding activities, volunteer at events, and just generally hang out with horsey people!

 

[ownedbyaconnie]

Throw yourself at high speed and from a decent height multiple times, stick a plaster on any cuts and take a few paracetamol, stand outside in -5 at 6am on a Saturday with a lead rope tied around a block of concrete and try and drag it away from a patch of grass and then withdraw thousands of pounds from your bank account and throw it at said lump. Maintain a minimum gin in blood % of about 20% at any one time.

That should make you feel part of the horsey world in no time!

 

[mossycup]

Throw yourself at high speed and from a decent height multiple times, stick a plaster on any cuts and take a few paracetamol, stand outside in -5 at 6am on a Saturday with a lead rope tied around a block of concrete and try and drag it away from a patch of grass and then withdraw thousands of pounds from your bank account and throw it at said lump. Maintain a minimum gin in blood % of about 20% at any one time.

That should make you feel part of the horsey world in no time!

?????

^ this! Also, just find another share/part loan - don't worry about 'sharpening up'. Lots of people looking and getting it started now means by spring, the riding schools will reopen, you'll be able to have lessons, get lessons on your share pony etc. What about doing some of the bhs challenge awards online to refresh your knowledge?

 

[[139672]]

I haven’t had horses for years. I had to decide between another horse or getting a mortgage. This is my horsey fix. I love looking at the photos. Can’t give advice as too long ago. Ulcers weren’t heard of when I lost my last horse and horses were referred to as ‘fresh’ if lacking exercise or when the weather was really windy ?

 

[naomibmck]

Wow, I really feel similarly too. I don't tend to post much on this forum, as I don't feel very knowledgeable/ in the loop with being in the horsey lifestyle.
I used to basically live at the stables volunteering, I've never had my own but really want it some day. But since a-levels/ starting uni/ covid I've barely seen horses, let alone ride them!
So yeah! Just wanted to chime in and say you're not the only one, and that once it's something you're able to have back in your life, it'll probably enjoy it even more.

 

[SadKen]

I'm another who lived and breathed horses on an all consuming level until I was 16, when for a number of reasons that were far more significant than boys or school, i was obliged to stop. At 23 I got a sports bike, and bikes were the thing for the next 10 years. Then back to horses.

Whilst there are fashions in the horse world I think if you have a love of horses you're horsey. That's the qualification. It's all we ask of bikers; two wheel enthusiasm and you're One Of Us.

You love horses, you're horsey. Skill level isn't a qualifier to be horsey. I've been round the TT course on 2 bikes (not racing, just on holiday!). Some are quicker than me, some not. I can now comment on what it is like to ride that road, 100% legit. Same with horses.

We are all bringing unique experiences, and they are all valid. You're in. You're a member of the club.