How to help the grieving process?

[tabithakat64]

Friends daughters TB and also the shetland were there when her horse fell in the field yesterday and just before he was put to sleep. They were both visibly 'upset' and spent the whole day running up and down the fence line calling for him. The shetland hated being separated from my friends horse and they have be a pair bond for several years, she was screaming for him all day and spent last night standing at the back of her stable and not eating. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to make this easier for her?

 

[peanut]

I don't have experience in this, but just posting to say I'm so sorry to hear what happened and I hope someone here can help you ease their stress.

 

[JenHunt]

so sorry to hear about the loss of your friends horse, it awful when it happens at the best of times, and almost worse when its out of the blue...

i think that it's just something that you have to let happen, try to keep everything else as 'normal' as possible for her and keep her field companions the same to give her an opportunity to start forming a new pair bond.
if she's not eating try to tempt her with a few tasty bits and pieces like carrot and apple or something, to prevent any colicky events if the gut stops moving, and it might just stimulate her appetite and get her eating properly again.

but she's bound to feel depressed for a few days, and its normal.

 

[Maesfen]

It's horrible when this happens, my sympathies to all concerned.
Did they not leave the pair in the field with the body for an hour or two as this helps them enormously? They usually have a sniff round the body, stand over it for a while and then start grazing and moving away from it in their own time; they do know but this helps them accept it far better. I've done it both ways, leaving them there and taking them away; the leaving them there gets my vote every time because it is a natural process for them, they accept the death much better.
I suggest turning them out in the same field today so they can check he's not there for themselves. Of course if they've been friends for years they are going to miss him and shout a bit but once they realise he's not coming back it should get easier and quieter.

 

[cazza]

I lost my horse earlier this year and her best field friend, they had been kept together for 8 years was upset. We let her see her in the field and then after the body was removed, moved her and some of her other friends to a completely different field. It took about two weeks to properly settle her and has taken about 6 months for her to stop calling every time she sees a grey horse. I think it makes it worse to see a horse upset by one departing as you can't just sit down and talk to them about it. lots of hugs being sent up your way.

 

[Worried1]

I'm really sorry to heat about what happened.

I'm not sure whether the body was removed immediately but when one of youngsters was PTS after breaking her leg, the vet said to leave it in the field so that her field companion would understand that she had gone. We were all very upset, as was Ellie, who was calling hysterically and running around.

I really wasn't sure about soing it but because of the snow we had no choice but to leave her body until later on in the day. When we returned, Ellie was stood over Poppy and when she saw us she moved away to stand quietly, she was clearly very sad but seemed to know she had gone. We loaded her up to go to a friends yard as we didn't have another horse for her to stay out with while we removed Poppy's body.

I know it isn't always possible but if the body can be left it definitely helped in our situation.

 

[aimeerose]

TBH there isnt a lot you can do (i'm presuming the body has noe gone?)

Just offer lots of attention and love and TIME.

 

[Muffin2]

Hi, How horrible for you all, and so distressing to see the horses left behind so upset. I lost my beautiful mare suddenly 3 weeks ago, leaving my gelding very distraught. The vet put her to sleep in the field, in the pouring rain, at 11 at night and she was left there until morning. I sedated my gelding that night but in the morning I let him sniff his friend and we both stood with her while I howled and he just hung his head. He called for her for the rest of the day but I gave him Instant calmer powders from Global Herbs and it really helped him cope. He was on these for 4 days and eventually I found another companion for him. The girl in the feed store told me that they were excellent and had been used by others for the same situation with great result. I hope this helps, I really do know what it's like.