How to help?

[05jackd]

I have a young rider that sometimes comes and rides a pony of mine. Pony is a saint by my standards. Can be handled by non horsey partner. Has been to national champs. Can be left for months and hop on. No vices. Really have very little bad to say about pony. A seriously fun get on with it ride.

But recently I have had all sorts of reviews from the girl about pony’s behaviour when I’m not there. Bucking, kicking, napping, not catching. None of this is ever displayed when I am present or when I ride. So I’m at a loss to how to help or what to do.

Horses are on a farm so no other liveries around. Any ideas?

 

[Red-1]

Yes, they are perhaps egging on how the pony behaves to feel special.

I would ask about it but probably stop the arrangement.

 

[cauda equina]

Does the girl actually want to ride the pony?
I wonder if she feels it's expected of her, but she would really rather not

 

[Winters100]

I think in this position I would have her ride / handle pony only when I was there. If this is not possible I would stop the arrangement.

 

[little_critter]

I agree with all of the above.

 

[Highmileagecob]

Sounds like my cob - the absolute mother's dream that everyone wants to own, but turns into a complete lunatic with a novice on board. Spinning, napping, scuttling under low hanging branches. Only did it once and said never again. My nerves couldn't stand it.

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

I would try suggesting that if he is too much for her, she stops riding him. Her reaction will tell you if he is genuinely misbehaving for her or not. Otherwise I would try to arrange for someone, yourself, or someone else to be able to observe unseen when she is riding.

 

[maya2008]

I think in this position I would have her ride / handle pony only when I was there. If this is not possible I would stop the arrangement.

Mine are always naughty when I'm not there - when we had sharers I arranged times so I was around doing other ponies. As soon as I walked out of sight it would be mayhem, but if they knew 'the boss' was keeping an eye on them, it was always ok. I have only recently started sending husband and kids out hacking without me. They always come back with some tale of pony antics, but can now manage things luckily when they happen.

 

[AmyMay]

I would ask about it but probably stop the arrangement.

This

 

[05jackd]

I would try suggesting that if he is too much for her, she stops riding him. Her reaction will tell you if he is genuinely misbehaving for her or not. Otherwise I would try to arrange for someone, yourself, or someone else to be able to observe unseen when she is riding.

I think she’s keen to ride just not massively experienced. I think watching unseen might help so I can try and understand the problem. The issue is I’m usually at work.

 

[J&S]

She may be misinterpreting behaviour? Asking the wrong way? Have you actually seen her handle and ride your pony? Personally I would not want any one who gives feed back like this to be handling one of mine.

 

[Winters100]

Mine are always naughty when I'm not there - when we had sharers I arranged times so I was around doing other ponies. As soon as I walked out of sight it would be mayhem, but if they knew 'the boss' was keeping an eye on them, it was always ok. I have only recently started sending husband and kids out hacking without me. They always come back with some tale of pony antics, but can now manage things luckily when they happen.

To be honest I find what you describe really very strange, and not typical of any horse behaviour that I have observed. Are you quite sure that this was down to the animals changing behaviour because they knew that you were not around, rather than poor or different handling? I have seen nervous horses be more confident when handled by their owner, but never well schooled and mannerly horses descend into "mayhem" when the owner is out of sight. As they are still playing up when going out with your husband and children maybe it would be a good idea to get a trainer involved?

 

[AmyMay]

She may be misinterpreting behaviour? Asking the wrong way? Have you actually seen her handle and ride your pony? Personally I would not want any one who gives feed back like this to be handling one of mine.

And certainly alone, especially if inexperienced.

 

[maya2008]

To be honest I find what you describe really very strange, and not typical of any horse behaviour that I have observed. Are you quite sure that this was down to the animals changing behaviour because they knew that you were not around, rather than poor or different handling? I have seen nervous horses be more confident when handled by their owner, but never well schooled and mannerly horses descend into "mayhem" when the owner is out of sight. As they are still playing up when going out with your husband and children maybe it would be a good idea to get a trainer involved?

Mostly different ponies now. That was over a decade ago with the sharers. They did know I would get on if needed if I was there, as the result of cheeky behaviour with kids was always that I got on and corrected it. Never needed to much beyond young pony learning stages, but they’d all been with me from backing so knew the deal. I had had them for years too, ridden them, trained them, competed them, hacked for miles. For one, brought her past her fears of traffic, for two, done the physio and work to deal with their inherited issues. Once we moved and they were just mine again, one became my son’s first ridden, another then chose to do the same job for my daughter. Tiny 5 year old children on 13.2hh ponies in both cases.

Are ponies more confident in situations with someone they regard as a leader present? Most assuredly yes, that is how the lead mare status works. Will the presence of someone they trust help them keep a lid on it? Always. That’s why people get off and lead when needed, why using nanny horses to take out young ones works. My mare is now the boss after old mare died - both could calm the whole ride if needed.

They behave for me - is it because I always do the initial groundwork and desensitising work, so they learn to trust? Maybe. Is it because I am assertive and am always the lead mare’s human? Maybe that too. All I know is that they stand in a beautiful line for me without being taught, to eat their dinners - no fighting. Same for the hay. Husband and kids get fighting ponies and have to monitor who is eating what dinner. They can gallop at me and I can stand still, knowing they will part and go round. They can panic on a ride and I can yell whoah and they will stop. When baby 3yo was scared of a dog yesterday, she wouldn’t go past following the gelding or my daughter’s pony - but I took the reins and she followed me straight past without argument. This morning my dad came to visit. She panicked at the strange person, retreated backwards then when I came into the stable, shot towards me, shoved her nose in my arms and asked for a cuddle and reassurance. I’ve had her six weeks. With me there, we got her to sniff his hand, and she was able to function again. Trust. Reassurance. Expectations.

So what happens when I send husband and kids out solo? No one is intentionally naughty but they come home with tales of impressive spooks, of an excited buck here or head shake there, of a wrong turn past a herd of something making them nervous and everyone having to get off for a bit, a pony getting tangled up in another (still don’t quite get how that one happened) and so on. Doesn’t always happen, and is better if my son is there too (he’s backed the little ones so they trust him more).

Just to add - I am well aware this crop of young ones won’t stay with us for life, as they are too small, hence making sure they do learn to go out without the comfort blanket of mum. They will be sent to lessons with kids and dad, go to pony club without me and generally be expected to be much more independent. With the old ones, they were all pre child, me sized ponies and I was their rider before the kids.

 

[ester]

I would start by asking her to video a couple of sessions so you can help see where the problem is. That will give you a better idea of exactly what is going on/what's behind the comments.

 

[05jackd]

Does the girl actually want to ride the pony?
I wonder if she feels it's expected of her, but she would really rather not

Absolutely no expection or pressure from me but the horses seem to help her cope with other trauma in her life.

 

[05jackd]

She may be misinterpreting behaviour? Asking the wrong way? Have you actually seen her handle and ride your pony? Personally I would not want any one who gives feed back like this to be handling one of mine.

Yes. She’s not the most experienced but quiet and kindly. When I ride out with her there’s no issue. I’ve never seen any of the behaviour described.

 

[05jackd]

I would start by asking her to video a couple of sessions so you can help see where the problem is. That will give you a better idea of exactly what is going on/what's behind the comments.

This would be helpful. If I can see the problem I can at least try and offer some help or advice. Perhaps her dad could video her next ride in the fields.