Kenzo
Well-Known Member
Simple Step by Step Instructions:-
Step 1 - Firstly get your OH to take you to a p2p meeting on a windy and very bitterly cold day, this is important so check the weather before you set off, if its raining even better but check the meet is going ahead.
Step 2 - aka Forward Planning making sure there will be some stalls there, preferably clothing ones.
Step 3 Go un prepared accidently on purposely underdressed for the wintery weather conditions, yes stick ya Hunters/Dubarrys on and a few pair of warm socks and your tweed/barber but go easy on those layers, remember you need to feel the cold.
Step 4 Shiver violently while holding something very hot coffee/mug or soup will do.
Step 5 Winge but only occasionally, just enough times for the OH to feel sorry for you and offer those warming hugs but remember to stress that unfortunately there not working.
Step 5 ''oooow they look nice and warm'' or similar comments while passing the clothing stalls.
Step 6 - Proceed to dance around in a rather embarrassing manor (because your trying to keep warm remember) star jumps, jogging on spot big fish little fish, any super start move will do, what ever it takes to look stupid oh and kept warm.
Step 7 Wait for it .wait wait a bit more (by this time frost bite may of kicked in so be warned) but if your OH is a true gentleman he will of at some point be offering to buy you a jacket/gillet...a nice item of clothing you have been longing for and eyeing up previously, before hyperthermia sets in.
Step 8 Oh no no, Im ok, noooo you save your money/ dont be wasting it on buying me a jacket/Ill be ok (still proceed to shiver/jump and up down/warm your hands/turn blue what ever it takes) then when he offers again, snap his hand off! OK if you dont mind by then its too late, he cant withdraw the offer, before hes even had time to check his wallet youve already tried a few sizes on, checked yourself out in the mirror, messed up a few rails and handed it to the assistant to run through the till while you wait patiently for him to pay for it with a big cheesy grin on your face while frantically battering your eyelashes.
Step 9 - Be grateful, a simple thank you will do, you can even stretch to a compliment ''youre the best'' yada yada kiss kiss or (as last resort) a sexual promise, usually the look will suffice and keep him quiet until the end of the day, hopefully if you tire him out in all the fresh air, walking about, the long drive back it wont lead to the latter.
Step 1 - Firstly get your OH to take you to a p2p meeting on a windy and very bitterly cold day, this is important so check the weather before you set off, if its raining even better but check the meet is going ahead.
Step 2 - aka Forward Planning making sure there will be some stalls there, preferably clothing ones.
Step 3 Go un prepared accidently on purposely underdressed for the wintery weather conditions, yes stick ya Hunters/Dubarrys on and a few pair of warm socks and your tweed/barber but go easy on those layers, remember you need to feel the cold.
Step 4 Shiver violently while holding something very hot coffee/mug or soup will do.
Step 5 Winge but only occasionally, just enough times for the OH to feel sorry for you and offer those warming hugs but remember to stress that unfortunately there not working.
Step 5 ''oooow they look nice and warm'' or similar comments while passing the clothing stalls.
Step 6 - Proceed to dance around in a rather embarrassing manor (because your trying to keep warm remember) star jumps, jogging on spot big fish little fish, any super start move will do, what ever it takes to look stupid oh and kept warm.
Step 7 Wait for it .wait wait a bit more (by this time frost bite may of kicked in so be warned) but if your OH is a true gentleman he will of at some point be offering to buy you a jacket/gillet...a nice item of clothing you have been longing for and eyeing up previously, before hyperthermia sets in.
Step 8 Oh no no, Im ok, noooo you save your money/ dont be wasting it on buying me a jacket/Ill be ok (still proceed to shiver/jump and up down/warm your hands/turn blue what ever it takes) then when he offers again, snap his hand off! OK if you dont mind by then its too late, he cant withdraw the offer, before hes even had time to check his wallet youve already tried a few sizes on, checked yourself out in the mirror, messed up a few rails and handed it to the assistant to run through the till while you wait patiently for him to pay for it with a big cheesy grin on your face while frantically battering your eyelashes.
Step 9 - Be grateful, a simple thank you will do, you can even stretch to a compliment ''youre the best'' yada yada kiss kiss or (as last resort) a sexual promise, usually the look will suffice and keep him quiet until the end of the day, hopefully if you tire him out in all the fresh air, walking about, the long drive back it wont lead to the latter.
