How to Teach Daughter to "kick" Pony on

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Snowy1

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I have taught daughter to ride. Pony is a real star and is one of those you put legs on he goes forward and you pull him up and he stops. We were going great and she had been to shows and won some rosettes, but we seem to have gone backwards. She just won't kick him on as she is frightened she will hurt him! I am not to sure how to go on now as we went out at the weekend jumped a lovely clear in the first class, went again and she just didn't ride him forward at all and it was horrible to see, in fact her riding looked awful!. Do i put her on the lunge and make him go forward, i am at a complete loss as to why she seems to have gone backwards, i know these things happen, but she was so disappointed in herself it was quite upsetting.:( She has seen the pony ridden by others and we all know he can do it as he has been a good jumping pony who is very push button. It isn't like the classes were to much she is jumping over 3' courses at home on him and it was only a small 2'.
 
I've found with children that there comes a point when Mum or Dad don't get through. When this happened to friends of mine with their children they went out to instructor. Not for long, just long enough to get the messages home and then the kids and ponies flew. So if it were me I would find a good instructor of children for a while and see how you go.
 
How old is she?

Just thinking sometimes it is tricky for a horsey mum to teach their daughter to ride (I know from experience!) so perhaps book a lesson with another instructor so she can hear what you are saying from someone else.

It's annoying when they then listen to another instructor but often one or two lessons will be enough to do the trick.

Also try rephrasing it - rather than say kick, tell her he needs a nudge, a bigger nudge, or a strong squeeze/big cuddle with her legs to encourage him, as without that he won't be sure she really wants to do it.

Girls can go through a stage of being very sensitive about their ponies.
 
How about getting her to ride with some friends...if she has fun with mates perhaps she'll forget about her perceived notion of hurting him? Or join Pony Club?
 
Thanks for your replies. I did think a lesson with someone else might be the way forward, husband isn't overly keen on the idea as he thinks with my "knowledge" and experience" she should just do it! But as i have pointed out that isn't always the case! Up to now she has always listened and has done so well, but we have hit a real hurdle here and obviously we have said no more shows until we can nail this moving him on, as it is just a waste of time and effort and the disappointment is to much to take for her. She is only 9.

I have tried re-phrasing the "kick on" bit to give him a squeeze and push him forward, but that just didn't work either!

We are quite a show jumping orientated family and i am not to sure the pony club is something for us, i did look into it as thought being with other children may help. Her friend at the yard has shown how easy he is to ride but still we have this "i can't kick him i will hurt him" mentality!
 
Would it be possible for her to ride a pony that really, really does need a lot of leg to show that firm aids don't hurt ?
 
I know you show jump but why not take her to gymkhana type shows and get her racing him. A bit of fun competition may get her kicking on a bit. Or set it up with her friend?
 
Snowy1 said:
Thanks for your replies. I did think a lesson with someone else might be the way forward, husband isn't overly keen on the idea as he thinks with my "knowledge" and experience" she should just do it! But as i have pointed out that isn't always the case! Up to now she has always listened and has done so well, but we have hit a real hurdle here and obviously we have said no more shows until we can nail this moving him on, as it is just a waste of time and effort and the disappointment is to much to take for her. She is only 9.

I have tried re-phrasing the "kick on" bit to give him a squeeze and push him forward, but that just didn't work either!

We are quite a show jumping orientated family and i am not to sure the pony club is something for us, i did look into it as thought being with other children may help. Her friend at the yard has shown how easy he is to ride but still we have this "i can't kick him i will hurt him" mentality!
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Depends on the branch. We do a lot of discipline training as well as general purpose rallies, but I've found that you can't expect your child to follow your dream...mine was a bit nervous, and diverted to mounted games for two or three of years, even went to the champs, then got concussed show jumping and a combination of racing around with friends and the bang on the head has done wonders for her confidence!!! Have a chat with your local branch and see what they offer.....
 
Thanks again for replies and advice.

Our local pony club is very geared towards mounted games and eventing, i did enquire. Neither of which she is remotely interested in, i have asked her! It is entirely her choice to jump and i would never encourage her to do something if she didn't want to.

Perhaps the lesson with someone else may help her, i know i am probably quite soft on her! So perhaps that may make her realise. :) I am sure i was never like this!
 
Your daughter sounds like a lovely little girl who is right to not want to kick her pony, of course kicking an animal will hurt it, would you like being kicked in the ribs? A horse can feel a fly land on it, you should encourage your daughter to be gentle and ride correctly without force. If pony isn't going when asked she does need an instructor, not one than just shouts KICK, KICK, KICK, but one that actually knows how to ride, not tying to offend, just advice.
 
susieoci said:
Your daughter sounds like a lovely little girl who is right to not want to kick her pony, of course kicking an animal will hurt it, would you like being kicked in the ribs? A horse can feel a fly land on it, you should encourage your daughter to be gentle and ride correctly without force. If pony isn't going when asked she does need an instructor, not one than just shouts KICK, KICK, KICK, but one that actually knows how to ride, not tying to offend, just advice.
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I wasn't saying to kick, kick, kick. If you see i also put "kick" in speech terms to show i was using it as a figure of speech. Of course i don't want her to kick him, i want her to get him to go forward how she has been taught by me, we have gone through the squeezing part and she is doing this so gently he doesn't even know she is doing it. Having competed for the past 35 years and ridden to what most would consider a decent standard i think i know what i mean when i say "kick".

Thank you to those that have contributed with helpful comments.:)
 
Kids are very literal, and while you may know exactly what you mean by "kick", she may not know what you're getting at.

Why not get her to do some groundwork type exercises with the pony, and experiment with how much "energy" it takes her to get the pony doing different things? That way, she'll also learn about pressure/release and motivating the pony.

Maybe get her a Think Like a Pony book and talk through some of the ideas and exercises with her? http://www.thinklikeapony.co.uk/in-the-saddle/index.php
 
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I did say don't get her an instructor that shouts kick as a lot do, I didn't mean you stand there saying that, iam sorry if I didn't get the jyst as we just don't use words like kick, and you do see a hell of a lot of people kicking horses, and its vile. not saying that you or your daughter do, but just maybe a nice instructor might help, so your daughter doesn't feel like she is being told to be mean to the pony, just a suggestion. Your daughter sounds like she has got the right idea though and just needs showing the way, maybe pony is taking advantage of her kindness. Might get that wrong to so sorry if I do :)
 
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