how to tell YO I am leaving?

[niagaraduval]

Hi all,
as you know the big day is coming Friday. I have paid livery up 'til the 31st December. Horse is coming home for christmas though.

The man in question was a big help for us, before a bitchy livery came and we fell out with him and his wife.

Texted him earlier to say that I and my loanee are coming up to get our things at 7 and is that ok ? (as We aren't allowed to go up there when it's dark and it gets dark at 5pm). He said 'ok but bring pony nuts'. So I bought enough for a month 2 weeks ago.. There is an apparent food thief that is costing me a fortune.

He has no idea we are leaving (apart from maybe seeing us back and fourth with trailers full of hay and straw). How can we tell him we are taking the horse away ?

 

[AmyMay]

You just ring him, or knock on his door and tell him you are giving him a months notice - and leaving on x day.

 

[niagaraduval]

amymay - We decided we would wait until the horse could come (we have everything ready) as we know he will either not feed the horse as we are going anyway or tell us to take the horse away straight away. So we haven't given him any notice, we are taking horse out Friday.

 

[flyingfeet]

Personally I would write a letter and deliver by hand and chat about it

Like you would resign from a job

Be upfront, thank them for their services and put you will miss them (even if you didn't and you won't)

 

[Rowreach]

I would be far more p*ssed off if someone snuck away under false pretences than if they came straight out with it and gave proper notice. How long are you meant to give? You are only paid up till 31/12, so I'm hoping it's only a week's notice? Just tell him (and pay him whatever you have to under your contract).

 

[AmyMay]

amymay - We decided we would wait until the horse could come (we have everything ready) as we know he will either not feed the horse as we are going anyway or tell us to take the horse away straight away. So we haven't given him any notice, we are taking horse out Friday.

So, on Friday, knock his door (once horse is loaded) and tell him you are giving him a months notice, but leaving today.

 

[DragonSlayer]

So, on Friday, knock his door (once horse is loaded) and tell him you are giving him a months notice, but leaving today.

This^^^

....then at least they are not out of pocket, if it's a month notice you are expected to give.

 

[niagaraduval]

I know this all sounds a bit mean, but we have had a big chat with my loanee and my parents (the horse is staying at their stables) and we have decided it's better not giving him notice. There is no contract, just a set amount each month which was SUPPOSED to include hay straw and hard feed. (One of the reasons we are leaving).

 

[quirky]

As amymay says, just tell him.

I really can't see the problem if you have paid for your months notice.
If you haven't paid a full months notice, he may well ask for it. I would pay up and move on if I was you, however much it may pain you to do so.

 

[AmyMay]

So you load up the horse, go, and say nothing................????

 

[Roasted Chestnuts]

Tell him to his face and thank him for letting you livery there. Dont lower yourself by being petty or cowardly. Its a business relationship, if he takes it the wrong way and orders you off the yard then thats it you smile thank him and leave.

I have a gob on me but in situations like that you let THEM embarrass themselves as people talk and if you ever have to take the horse away from home and need a livery yard owners talk

I would get him a Xmas bottle and chap the door and say Im taking my horse to live at my house. Thanks for letting me livery here. Hope you have a lovely Xmas hand him the bottle and thats it

 

[quirky]

I know this all sounds a bit mean, but we have had a big chat with my loanee and my parents (the horse is staying at their stables) and we have decided it's better not giving him notice.

Just because you aren't giving him notice, it doesn't mean you shouldn't pay for you notice period.

It is pretty low to slink off, especially when contractually, you owe him money.

You're not the sort of person I would want on my yard if I was a YO.

Do the decent thing and pay up!

 

[Ibblebibble]

well with no contract he can't moan at the notice period or lack of Load horse and then just out of politeness let him know you are leaving and no longer require your stable, thank him for all he's done over the last x months (and yo9u can say that with as much sarcasm as you see fit ) and then toodle off home with your horse, happy days

 

[Winklepoker]

I am a little confused by the whole ' text/7pm' scenario but I did exactly this 2 years ago and what a relief when I drove my horse out of the yard. I left the YO a box of chocs with a card and a note with £100 as a gesture/notice money and explained that I couldnt trust myself to put emotions aside hence writing a letter, wish them a happy Christmas and say thank you. Afterall, you do not have a contract so it rests entirely on your morals as to whether you leave a cash sum. I didnt have a contract either and was terrified of YO but felt that it may have been unfair to abandon the sinking ship without so much as a £1

 

[Mare Stare]

IME it's better to leave on good terms with a YO.

You never know what the future holds in store. There may be a point when you need to use his yard again and won't be able to if you sneak off into the night.

The horsey community is fairly small and horsey people talk. It's always better to give them nothing to talk about.

If you don't want to see him face to face, leave a note.

 

[Silent Knight]

IME
The horsey community is fairly small and horsey people talk. It's always better to give them nothing to talk about.

If you don't want to see him face to face, leave a note.

^This^ nothing worse than a miffed yard owner. They know loads of people and can cause problems. Do the right thing.

 

[Enfys]

Offer a months board (if you pay monthly) in lieu of notice and just say that as you are now able to have the horse at home/closer to home you want him there for Christmas.

Put it in writing if you prefer, and keep a copy. You must tell him though, good manners and common decency require at least that, regardless of whether you get on with them or not. If someone spirited a horse away from my place in the dead of night I'd be having forty fits in the morning when I couldn't see it.

Moving a horse closer to home is a perfectly acceptable reason for leaving that shouldn't cause any offence if it is taken at face value. To be honest though, you don't have to justify your reasons for going at all.

 

[Flibble]

I agree it is courteous to write a little note informing him you are leaving. It is good manners to give some notice even if you dont have a contract. Never ever leave anywhere on bad terms unless impossible to do otherwise.

 

[Kenzo]

Unless I'm missing something (sorry if I am ) and say for example the YO has done something terrible upset you or you think your horse is at risk in their care BUT surely the decent thing is to at least let your YO know that you will be thinking of leaving at least a month or a few weeks before you actually do go, they may want to fill your livery space, even if they don't, it's rather unpolite to sneak your things away without letting the YO know, won't they think your a bit strange?

So I'd tell the YO asap, the sooner the better, the longer you leave it the worse your going to look.

 

[hcm88]

If you don't want to give notice (In my opinion I would let them know ASAP) then on Friday go to see him in person (with a written letter of confirmation), say that you're leaving today and thank him (this is courteous even if you feel he hasn't been great).

You can't just leave, like you said he was a big help for you - do the courteous thing and at least let him know you're leaving! If you've loaded the horse and are all ready to go (and have paid the appropiate amount) then he can't stop you from going, so all you can do is let him know and say goodbye.

 

[Spotsrock]

I agree you should be giving notice money if not period.

BUT

one of your posts indicated you have been buying your own hay, straw and feed which your rent is meant to include and that you feel quite cross about this.

On that basis I would deduct the amount you have paid over and above for the things that should have been included and write him a letter telling him you are leaving, thank him for previous assistance and state politely that as hay/straw/feed have been paid for for x number of weeks but not provided, you have incurred costs of £x although they were icluded in your rent. You are deducting this amount from your notice sum. Please find enclosed a cheque for the balance of £y. If you are concerned about his reaction enclose copy reciepts. Save originals in case he really is unhappy. Do not leave cash, too easy to deny receipt.

Be careful though, YOs can be quite verbal locally and you need to protect your reputation without stooping to gossiping about YO. Where YO is known for this people will ignore him.

 

[Carefreegirl]

i would say something along the lines of: revoir ca a ete agreable d'avoir mon cheval ici, mais je pense qu'il est maintenant temps d'avancer et il sera plus facile pour moi et ma partageur d'avoir mon cheval pres de chez eux.


Followed by voulez-vous coucher avec ce moi ?





























Non - Je ne parle pas francais - iphone translater app

 

[Ladybird]

Just because you aren't giving him notice, it doesn't mean you shouldn't pay for you notice period.

It is pretty low to slink off, especially when contractually, you owe him money.

You're not the sort of person I would want on my yard if I was a YO.

Do the decent thing and pay up!

OP has already stated she is not contractually obliged, I assume she means verbally as well as written contract.
Therefore she doesn't have to 'pay up' anything. Offering a months notice would not be necessary and would just be gifting him a months worth of livery for no reason.

 

[joeanne]

Kenzo I think as long as they PAY their notice, then YO is not out of pocket.
But to slink away like thieves in the night is not a good thing to be seen doing.
Courtesy says you thank him for having you, wish him all the best, pay a months livery in lieu of notice.

 

[Carefreegirl]

Mad rush as people go onto their phone translaters................. no it wasn't rude (apart from the second bit)

 

[sheep]

To me it seems like the OP would like us to tell her what she wants to hear- to just slink off. It seems like they are trying to sneak off, anyway.. but it would be far better to try and leave on good terms.

 

[ILuvCowparsely]

I did one midnite flit tho i had paid in advance and that was only because i feared for my mares safety the mother in law kept turning the light of when i was mucking out kids would prod me with canes etc. it was a nightmare.


We have a months notice either way, if you want to leave before the month you still have to pay it. regardless.

You need to write a letter or speak to him verbally that way if things get nasty you have proof you wrote the letter
As mentioned the horse community is small word gets around if you leave on bad terms, swallow your pride or bite your tongue and say thankyou for having us but its time to move on ,

 

[JFTDWS]

I have slunk away from yards before - normally because I didn't trust the YO, once because it was a big DIY yard and they wouldn't have noticed - but I've aways paid for the notice period to cover from the time I gave notice (i.e. when I was in the act of leaving or having just left). In one case, I gave notice for 1 month, took horses away almost immediately, came back to pick up rest of stuff two nights later and found horses in the stables I was still paying rent for

 

[ILuvCowparsely]

i would say something along the lines of: revoir ca a ete agreable d'avoir mon cheval ici, mais je pense qu'il est maintenant temps d'avancer et il sera plus facile pour moi et ma partageur d'avoir mon cheval pres de chez eux.


Followed by voulez-vous coucher avec ce moi ?


Non - Je ne parle pas francais - iphone translater app

cela dépend s'il est foncé grand et beau la demande de lui dormir avec vous serait bonne, lol mais ce qui s'il est chauve et laid courts ? l

 

[Polotash]

Tell him to his face and thank him for letting you livery there. Dont lower yourself by being petty or cowardly. Its a business relationship, if he takes it the wrong way and orders you off the yard then thats it you smile thank him and leave.

I have a gob on me but in situations like that you let THEM embarrass themselves as people talk and if you ever have to take the horse away from home and need a livery yard owners talk

I would get him a Xmas bottle and chap the door and say Im taking my horse to live at my house. Thanks for letting me livery here. Hope you have a lovely Xmas hand him the bottle and thats it

Good plan!