How would you feel?

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PrettyPiaffe

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How would you feel if you asked your trainer to ride your horse (you're paying them for the priviledge of course) and when they phone you to tell you how it went, they also tell you that towards the end of the schooling session they asked a fellow livery to have a sit on him but she was "only on him for a minute, just a trot and a canter", because she wanted to show fellow livery how fantastic he is.
Its my daughters horse and she is quite upset as 1) She wasn't asked before hand if it was ok for someone else other than her trainer to get on him, 2) He is her best horse out of the 4 she has and he's also a sensitive sole and she isnt keen on the idea of having any tom dick or harry on him. 3) She really doesnt rate fellow livery's riding at all.

This is the second time this has happened now, the first time my daughter was there but trainer said infront of daughters friends "is it ok if your friends have a sit on him, i want them to feel just how fabulous he is" of course daughter didnt want to say in front of her friends "no because they cant ride for toffee!" so agreed they could sit on him for a minute.

Daughter and trainer have quite a close relationship but she isnt impressed at all with her at the minute. Not to mention said horse is a bit hot headed and needs a capable rider, which fellow livery is not if im being honest. She's actually had a bit of a cry as she feels trainer is taking advantage a bit.

So how would you feel? What would YOU do?
 
Id be very annoyed. As for what I'd do, Im quite non-confrontational so I guess I would probably 'drop' into conversation that Id prefer it if nobody else rode except her.
 
Well yes I'd be cross. She had no right, and I'd never dream of doing it. Not very professional. Although I'd like to think she doesn't think this other person is as bad a rider as you think or that the horse isn't as difficult.... She still had no right though, not excusing it!

Have a private chat with her and say that you don't want anyone else except your daughter or the trainer herself riding the horse. Your horse, you can say whatever you want.
 
depending on how old your daughter is would it be acceptable for you to step in and complain to trainer about someone else riding the horse without permission - are there insurance liabilities here?

Otherwise you daughter probably needs to tell the trainer how she feels and that she doesn't like anyone else riding her horse and only allows the trainer because she trusts her. The fact the horse is fabulous is a good thing but not so good that everyone on the yard needs to try him - let them go out and buy their own 'fabulous' horse to ride. Personally I think it is appalling and I would be shouting the odds at the trainer but I am assuming your daughter doesnt want to do that!
 
You are paying the trainer - "He who pays the piper, calls the tune!"
Completely unacceptable behaviour from your trainer - have a word and if that doesn't do the trick....change your trainer...simples!!
 
What the...Are you being serious?

I would bin the trainer off and get someone in who is a professional both on and off the horse and get them to apologise to your daughter.

You are paying them to ride and train your horse if you wanted some muppet off the yard to ride you would get them to do it for allot less money!!!

I would also have a word with the livery as how did that situation come about that a trainer stopped his training to allow a person not associated with your horse allowed to ride...twice!!!

Is this person just hanging around waiting to jump on your horses at any opportune moment?

Grrr, this has made me angry and they aren't my horses!!!!!
 
i'd be right royally peed off TBH. regardless of how senstive the horse is or how good/bad the fellow livery's riding is i'd be annoyed because its MY horse and i am the only one who gets to say who rides MY horse...end of. some people probably think this is pathetic but i am very possessive about my horses- and why not they have cost me £££££s over the years :rolleyes: I have a few friends who are desperate to get on my 5 year old and yet i have only let one on him because i really like how she rides...end of... :) have a word with the instructor and explain your concerns- hopefully she'll understand (she's probably done this without even thinking) and if she doesn't then its new instructor time :)
 
Daughter is 16. Problem is we livery on our trainers yard and daughter doesn't want to move or fall out with anyone but i think i'll be having a word with trainer in the morning. Im pissed off too as we payed good money for the horses and getting her trainer to school them for us is not cheap!
 
Id be going absolutely bloody mad!

Thats like someone mot-ing your car and lending it to another client "to give it a quick spin" at the end!!!

Would definitely be having firm words xxxx
 
I wouldn't be impressed and I would just say to trainer that in future I didn't want anyone else sitting on my horses. If she did it again I'd be looking for a new trainer. Simples! :)
 
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I would agree with everyone else, would try not to be confrontational and just politely point out that I am not comfortable with other people riding my horse so could trainer limit it to just themselves.
 
in the circumstances I wouldn't mention your opinion on the other persons ability, if they are also livery there then it could cause a problem if trainer feels she needs/wants to defend them and it leaves you in an uncomfortable position! I would stick to not wanting anyone else riding your daughters horse, blame insurance, worry about injury/accident, that sort of thing. I know how upset my daughter would be in the same circumstances and she would feel powerless and afraid of trainers reaction if she complained so I really sympathise with both you and your daughter. The trainer is really out of order and overstepping the boundaries but hopefully she will be mortified that she was so unprofessional and it won't happen again. If your daughter is sensitive (like mine) then I would be tempted to be almost honest with the trainer and say that she is really upset that someone else has been on her horse but feels she can't say anything, act like the long suffering mum - if she is anything like mine then that won't be difficult, you will be used to it!

I know to those without daughters this might seem a bit namby pamby but it is better than them being so worried about repurcussions that you end up moving anyway! Keeps everything nice and comfortable whilst getting the desired result.
 
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I would feel really bl00dy annoyed!! this happened to me before. Horse was on FULL livery whilst I was away for 2 months to keep him fit etc. got back & found out he'd been used for riding lessons, because someone in the village (who didn't know he wasn't meant to be used for lessons) commented on what a lovely canter he has and how easy she found it to ride...

far less than impressed. told YO not to do it again and guess what - the same thing happened only a few months later. If they think they can take advantage, they will do.

Given that it's happened before, I'd expect it might happen again. I'd be inclined to move your daughters horses to another yard & find another trainer, one that will not take advantage of your daughter's and your own good nature.
 
PrettyPiaffe said:
How would you feel if you asked your trainer to ride your horse (you're paying them for the priviledge of course) and when they phone you to tell you how it went, they also tell you that towards the end of the schooling session they asked a fellow livery to have a sit on him but she was "only on him for a minute, just a trot and a canter", because she wanted to show fellow livery how fantastic he is.
Its my daughters horse and she is quite upset as 1) She wasn't asked before hand if it was ok for someone else other than her trainer to get on him, 2) He is her best horse out of the 4 she has and he's also a sensitive sole and she isnt keen on the idea of having any tom dick or harry on him. 3) She really doesnt rate fellow livery's riding at all.

This is the second time this has happened now, the first time my daughter was there but trainer said infront of daughters friends "is it ok if your friends have a sit on him, i want them to feel just how fabulous he is" of course daughter didnt want to say in front of her friends "no because they cant ride for toffee!" so agreed they could sit on him for a minute.

Daughter and trainer have quite a close relationship but she isnt impressed at all with her at the minute. Not to mention said horse is a bit hot headed and needs a capable rider, which fellow livery is not if im being honest. She's actually had a bit of a cry as she feels trainer is taking advantage a bit.

So how would you feel? What would YOU do?
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I would be annoyed if that was my pony. He can be funny with other people on him anyway, a bit tense and sharp, probably because he doesn't know/trust them. I've let other people ride him before but only when I'm there and he's fine. But in your situation, that is not acceptable IMO and I'd be having a polite word about it.
 
I think you're right to be annoyed. If you sent your car for an MOT you wouldn't expect them to lend it to a mate, would you? (Actually, that's a bad example as it probably happens all the time!)

You see my point though - it's your horse and you're employing her to ride it. If she wants to lend it out, she should be paying you!
 
Problem has probably arisen from your daughter not objecting to the other livery riding the horse the first time when the trainer asked if they could have a sit on them. In a way it set a precedent for the trainer to do this again.

Be honest with the trainer and say that your daughter is very attached to the horse and isn't really happy with other people on the yard riding it, but is worried about upsetting people. The trainer will understand and the problem is sorted.

If you don't tell the trainer they will never know that you have any objections. I would also make sure that I was there when the trainer is schooling the horse as you can learn a lot from those sessions and avoid any un-necessary problems arising.
 
I would be furious! I would let the trainer know what I thought about them lending my horse out to whoever they wanted to and then I would find a new trainer.
 
I would be furious because what happens if horse or rider gets injured?? Fluke accidents do happen! & I would imagine that said livery would not be covered on your horses insurance!

It doesn't if you livery at the trainers yard it doesn't mean that she has some right over who rides the horse that does not belong to her.

If I was you I would be having a quiet word with the trainer & just mention your concerns & possibly make sure you are there when these training sessions are going on.
 
I would speak to the trainer I would be so cross :( My old boy was schooled 2 times weekly and I had a lesson weekly by him and also lesson on my mare, he had his style of riding which he ob taught to me so we were both similar styles to then go and have someone else riding my horse would prob confused him and set him back:(
Am afraid that it is not acceptable that your daughters trainer allowed another livery on the horses weather she was a not up to stander ed or she was a great rider.
As for the wanting to show how fantastic the horse is It can be shown by watching from the ground. I know I have seen some horses being ridden and thought WOW that horse looks fab :D
 
I would tell the trainer that your daughter was too embarrased to say no in front of the other rider the first time and didn't want to offend anyone, however she doesn't want anyone except the trainer and herself to ride the horse. The trainer probably thinks because she said yes the first time that it was ok to do it again. Your daughter could say to trainer or yourself, as I know even at 16 it can be difficult for them in situations like this.
 
I would be very cross, I don't like anyone toughing my horse without me knowing (one very close trusted friend excluded) also it took time out of the hour or what-ever training you where paying for.

Although I am also very non-confrontational, I would perhaps just slip it in say something like - I'm glad he was good for you the other day, but would prefer it if no one else rode him apart from you and my daughter ... (then make a excuse like ..) they might ride differently and take his training a step back.
 
I would be absolutely furious! I would never ask the instructor to ride my horse again, but I also think the instructor needs to be made aware that this is unacceptable, so I'd be having a quiet word, as well (though I'd keep it light and friendly).
 
I'm going to go against the grain a bit on this – perhaps I don't fully understand the nature of the problem.

If your trainer has been honest about the intentions/duration I'd actually be quite proud that someone wanted to demonstrate how great my horse is.

As long as she hasn't.........for example....... put a 8 year kid on to do her first jumping lesson (extreme example but you know what I mean ;)), I would look to it as a compliment to your horse and your training. Your trainer has been honest and told you, if you weren't there, she could have kept it quite and you'd be none the wiser.

Perhaps (cynically) there is an element of self-publicity there too ie “here's a horse I 've been training, isn't he amazing, I'm a brilliant trainer.”

I'd like to think that our horses are ambassadors for our hard work and OH's training techniques. Sometimes OH plonks his less able friends on his mare just to show them what it's like to ride a beautifully schooled horse.

Maybe just have a chat with her but I'm sure it was meant with the best intentions if she felt the need to tell you about it.
 
I know she was probably just showing how good the horse is but I understand why you are angry about this.

I have always been funny about people riding my horses because I always put everything into making them perfect (or as perfect as I can get them). I don't want someone to get on and mess up my hard work. One pony I had never ever stopped at fences, then one day someone else rode him and pulled him out at a fence, after that he used to try and duck past every now and again. For a pony that I had brought on from a baby, who never stopped and would jump anything from any stride, then to run past a fence was heartbreaking. It doesn't take long for a bad habit to be formed!!

Even if it's only for a minute, I wouldn't be happy about someone else riding my animal and would have a word with the trainer to ask her not to do this again.
 
Unless your trainer is Carl hester and the 'other livery' is Anky I'd tell the trainer that their services are no longer required... trainers are easily replaceable... damaged horses cost a lot to keep and months to get back to where you were.

Blitz
 
Please be warned my daughters pony was on livery at a yard being spa treated for laminitis relating to the Cushings disease he was suffering. For various reasons I felt suspicious and decided to wait in my car after I had left the yard one evening. To my utter shock I then saw our pony with two small children on his back being walked up the road with a baby in a push chair and a child on a bicycle all under 5. Without any permission at all. The stress on our pony cannot have helped him but I dread to think what the situation might have been if any of the children were hurt?
 
I would be fuming :mad: If i asked my instructor to ride my horse and then she put someone who couldn't ride on my horse i would make her pay for the chiropractor bill!! My boy has a really sensitive back so if too many people ride him it causes him problems!! That's why i am the only person who rides him and my riding instructor occasionally rides him when i am on holiday or if i have a problem in the lesson!!!

Hope you sort the situation out!! xx
 
id be livid. and finding another trainer - theres no need for anyone else except your trainer to ride the horse....
 
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