How would you handle this?

joeanne

Well-Known Member
Joined
25 May 2008
Messages
5,322
Location
Cornwall
Visit site
I have a friend whom keeps her horse with mine, and i look after her horse monday-friday as she works full time (though in fairness she allows me, or any of my friends if they are capable to ride her horse).
She is not a bad person, but is a bit "lacksdaisical" for want of a better word, but lately i feel myself harbouring a real deep seated intolerance of her.
I'll try and keep this brief, but would love some advice on how to deal with this problem.
She brings her dog to the yard, who has so far damaged two peoples cars by jumping up at them. He has also covered numerous people in mud and sh*te doing the same. On two occasions he has wandered off down the busy main road because she doesnt watch him. He has also stolen food from my childrens hands, and snapped at my 2 yr old filly. I have tried to explain i dont want him on the yard but she replies with "its the only time her gets a good run". She also neglects to clean up after him. Not nice for those who end up treading in it.
More seriously, she borrowed some tack, which wasnt hers and it was not treated with the respect that you would hope (in fact it was a very close call on whether it may have been damaged).
Then she made a suprise visit last night, and called me to say she was there and was i coming down.
I replied i would be down later but couldnt be there right then. She replied she would do the water before going home.
I go to do the last nightly check and find she has done the water for her horse, but neglected to make sure mine had any, so just as well i went back really.
I dont want to have to ask her to leave, but i am finding this unbearable, and i have confronted her on all the above issues, but all i ever seem to get is evasive replies or she goes on the defence.
Sorry if its a bit long and winded, but i could really do with some help on this one!
 
It is very difficult when having to sort a problem out with a friend. I think you will have to talk to her about the dog AGAIN. Also ask her if she forgot to water your horse/s last night. You don't say if the yard belongs to you but if it does I think you wil have to say that if the issues are not sorted you will have to give her notice. If it isn't your yard then really the yard owner needs to sort the situation out.
 
She doesn't like much of a friend!!- She is absolutely taking the pi$$!! You have to get a bit serious with her and explain that her attitude and behaviour wouldn't be tolerated if it were anyone else on the yard and she shouldn't get away with it just because you're friends; if anything she should be your best client not your nightmare one!! As for the dog only getting 'a good run at weekends' don't even get me started
blush.gif
frown.gif
 
Friend or no friend, you need to set up an agreement and write out some rules. Sit her down, just explain to her that you are finding things too stressful to continue with at the moment, but if you can sort out a proper agreement with her she can stay.
She might huff off and leave, but would that really be a bad thing? You might also lose a friend, if you consider her to be a friend that is, I'm not sure I would. Anyway, if she objects to being asked not to bring her dog, not to borrow tack and to being asked to check all horses before she leaves, she really isn't a friend, she's a user.
 
Tie a bit of rope somewhere for her to tie him up to (for his own safety obviously!) if she doesn't, tie him up yourself and tell her you were concerned he was going to get kicked. It is not your problem that it is the only time he gets a run but as YO you have a responsibility to other people coming to the yard and it is unreasonable of her to allow her dog to behave as it does.
 
Top