Hubby just had to say it! Grrr!

cblover

cblover

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My hubby is one of the best blokes I know and I know he only wants the best for me. But....when he says I’m not sure you’re gonna manage such a big horse at your age, it really touched a nerve. You know, as it does, when you respect that person and what they say.

My Clyde is 4 this month and as some of you will know, she’s had a difficult start and can have issues lifting her feet. Of course, this is when hubby had to step in and flex a muscle or two and we got the job done calmly. I’m 51 this year and have nowhere near the strength I did have, so this has made me think. God I could strangle him....in a nice way! Lol I’m just a bit deflated, worried, fed up...but also I’ve worked so hard and made such progress. Granted her feet are a work in progress, I’m just hoping it works out. Flaming husbands.....lol
 
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I think he bought me ‘Scrappy’ as we call her, because he couldn’t risk living with me if I had no horse at all. Bless him...his hearts in the right place, just not sure about his mouth at times. Lol
 
I have the opposite problem. I am 52, full of injuries that make stuff painful, having had a break from riding other than the odd plod about for years, and bought a young horse (wanted an older one but the nicest one was this one who was still just 4 when I got her)...

He can't understand why we aren't out competing yet. When I was younger we would be doing 100 prepping for Novice now. As it is we are just doing dressage and the odd jump at home. He is currently very underwhelmed and thinks I need to crack on.
 
Bless our hubs, they do have a way of saying things that hit straight on a nerve. No doubt in the future he'll be commenting on how he always knew and never doubted your ability to handle Scrappy.
 
Some of the biggest horses out there are the gentlest. Apart from the logistics you can’t change (getting on & chucking on rugs etc), if their underlying temperament is right then there is no reason they can’t be as easy to handle as a 14.2hh (probably easier, lol!).

I would honestly let a 5yo do my big one
 
I have had some classics over the years! When we were doing indoor driving trials we were in the middle of the obstacle and I couldn't remember the gate sequence he said"why do you still want to do this when you are so crap at it!". Also when doing pleasure driving he said " I hate seeing the look of relief on the others faces when we arrive as they now know they won't be last!" Unfortunately he did have a point!
 
Aren’t they just fab. I do have some health issues...all auto immune conditions, so he’s just looking after me but after 3 years of blood, sweat and tears with my beautiful pity buy, I was rather pleased with the job I’d done and she’s looking amazing. 4 years old this month and we got her at 8 months. It’s a long time to wait, spend time with and dream about our future plans...and long comes clumsy mouth. As I tell him...it’s a good job you’re pretty! Lol
 
51 is not old and I think because you have neutered and shown her nothing but care and love she will repay you with the same, she sounds such a sweet girl and if not picking her feet up on the odd occasion is all she does so what, it's no big deal I wouldn't worry about just crack on with your plans, I am 48 this year and still ride my spooky Arabs I wouldn't have it any way one I have had for 13 years so I know him inside out, I think when you have had that bond from a young age you have so much more trust.
 
Am I am five years younger than you and i broke in my Connemara myself they all thought he was going to be a lunatic and he was a doddle . He was a swine when he was younger Too . They improve with time and commitment . You will be fine. X
 
You’re all great! I’m so proud of her and still quite amazed at how she’s grown and matured over the years. I’m currently backing her with a friend and she hasn’t put a foot wrong yet. Famous last words! Lol I’ve done loads of ground work over the years so I was hoping backing would be a non event...and it has been. My friend is lightweight so she’s the one on board for now but hopefully as she strengthens up, it’ll be my turn. I’m no size zero though so I’m waiting till she’s mature. I can’t wait for it to be my turn.
 
I'm 55 and have been doing pilates and circuit training classes for the past year, I am stronger now than I think I have ever been.
 
I think that just may be husbands in general.
I’m just getting to the other side of lymphoma and my husband is very protective/ worried about me when I’m riding (almost as much as he worries when I take his horse out for a ride- he’s obviously more bothered about the horse! ;)) obviously I just get on and go haha.....
I think it’s just proof that he cares, however frustrating it may feel! You’ll get there and he’ll eventually relax and let you get on with it :)
 
cblover said:
Aren’t they just fab. I do have some health issues...all auto immune conditions, so he’s just looking after me but after 3 years of blood, sweat and tears with my beautiful pity buy, I was rather pleased with the job I’d done and she’s looking amazing. 4 years old this month and we got her at 8 months. It’s a long time to wait, spend time with and dream about our future plans...and long comes clumsy mouth. As I tell him...it’s a good job you’re pretty! Lol
Click to expand...

You can't say that and not post pics, surely that's breaking a fundamental forum rule...? :)

I'd echo the others - 51 is not old. My friend is in her late 50s, has her first pony who is now 6 and is fitter and more bendy than she has been in years. Happier too.
 
I’ll try and post some, but I’m not always successful. Lol I’ve got hundreds of her but they don’t always end up ok here. Know know where I’m going wrong. I’ll try though.
 
My mum is 63 and after she lost her last horse she bought a TB straight out of training 6wks after his last race...she was 60 at that point. Last year she took in "cob with issues" and is currently doing groundwork but itching to get on.

Good luck backing your mare and wishing you lots of happy years together. Photos are a must 😉
 
If any of us had to pull a Clydie's feet up off the ground we would struggle! However you are training her to do it for/with you, you will get there and so will she. IME ridden Clydies are very co-operative but they do like you to take the weight of their feet:D, you just have to train them, that it's not on. We have found clicker training works particularly well with feet.

She sounds fabulous!
 
I am 53 and bought my beautiful Sect D over 12 years ago now when he was 5, little did I know that he would fill out to be such a tank of a horse though only 15.1hh thank goodness. I have been unable to ride him for 4 years due to back and hip issues, mine not his. Husband is great about it although he does say I was a happier person when I was riding so currently trying to sort out my back to be able to ride again and although I have another two retired horses plus my three minis he is even suggesting getting a sensible 14hh that is not so wide so that I can start again but not sure I want 7 horses!
 
As a husband I believe I have earned the right to comment on the horses & what's happening with them. We've had ponies & horses for over 20 years & at present have 3 horses ranging between 16h & 16h3, they are all well schooled, jump well & do a nice dressage test. Why do I believe I have the right to comment? Well I believe I've earned & also paid for the right. I pay 50% of all bills, wife & daughter pay other 50%. I bought the horsebox, I pay for all repairs, fuel, MOT Test, insurance, recovery & just paid Almost £700 for new rear tyres. Due to old injury I don't ride anymore in fact haven't for many years. I'm at the yard every morning 7.00am to turnout muck out, back there in afternoon to bring in, poo pick, adjust grazing in each paddock. What's wife doing while I'm doing this.....hacking out or schooling that's what specially in the winter so she can ride in the light. I collect all feed, I arrange delivery of Hay & bedding. Yes, I think I've earned the right as have many other husbands have.
Wife & daughter told me once that I should have a hobby? How the hell have I any time for one, additionally how can I afford one!!!.

Don't under value your other half, if they downed tools & didn't lift a finger to help you many of you would be in a right pickle. Oh yes, wife is 63, daughter 32 & me, the slave is 65.
 
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Toby_Zaphod said:
As a husband I believe I have earned the right to comment on the horses & what's happening with them. We've had ponies & horses for over 20 years & at present have 3 horses ranging between 16h & 16h3, they are all well schooled, jump well & do a nice dressage test. Why do I believe I have the right to comment? Well I believe I've earned & also paid for the right. I pay 50% of all bills, wife & daughter pay other 50%. I bought the horsebox, I pay for all repairs, fuel, MOT Test, insurance, recovery & just paid Almost £700 for new rear tyres. Due to old injury I don't ride anymore in fact haven't for many years. I'm at the yard every morning 7.00am to turnout muck out, back there in afternoon to bring in, poo pick, adjust grazing in each paddock. What's wife doing while I'm doing this.....hacking out or schooling that's what specially in the winter so she can ride in the light. I collect all feed, I arrange delivery of Hay & bedding. Yes, I think I've earned the right as have many other husbands have.
Wife & daughter told me once that I should have a hobby? How the hell have I any time for one, additionally how can I afford one!!!.

Don't under value your other half, if they downed tools & didn't lift a finger to help you many of you would be in a right pickle. Oh yes, wife is 63, daughter 32 & me, the slave is 65.
Click to expand...

Well, since I wrote my reply... OH has been saying that my saddle does not suit me, and I was stuck thinking only a bad workman blames their tools. Now I actually have a new saddle I do think he may have been right!

Oh, I do think he earns the right to comment, as does OP I am sure. What you have to understand is that because we do value our other halves, when they are disappointed or hold a view different to our own, then that hurts or worries us.

In my case I felt like I was letting him down not going out competing at what he aspired for me to do. If I didn't value what he did then I would not give 2 hoots what he thought. However, as he is every bit as involved as you, I felt sad that he was not proud of our (so far very small) achievements.

We are a team, and I don't like to think he believes I am not pulling my weight in that team.
 
Thanks P, I do indeed agree with your post. My hubby is the best man I’ve ever met and I respect and and admire him greatly. He’s definitely earned his right to comment when ever he likes.....and does! Lol

I can’t seem to post pics, it’s always saying they are too big when I try to upload them. Mind you, it could be clydesdale overload if I ever learn how to post them.
 
Woo hoo.....I think I've got a couple of pics on here. The first one is of the day after she arrived from York and the next one is of her on Sunday. I'm just bursting with pride, we've overcome so much together.
 

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