Human sacrifice wanted for weather gods

[Shilasdair]

As the title says.
If just one selfless little forum member would volunteer to appease the rain/wind gods, the rest of us could have a great winter......
Right, volunteers sign up below (or you can nominate another selfless soul).
S

 

[Eaglestone]

Will you do it please as I have already had a go this am and have been soaked through not once but twice ...... pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese

 

[Fairynuff]

They have to be a virgin...right? Well, that counts me out

. Why dont you just steal a new born, much easier and less messy!

 

[Shilasdair]

[ QUOTE ]
They have to be a virgin...right?

[/ QUOTE ]

If I'd known that, I'd never have posted on THIS forum.
S

 

[wizzi901]

Well shilasdair, as you started the post........

 

[Fairynuff]

do you think the gods would notice if we did a bit of DIY re-virginizationing? We could always tell porkies, if you think it would be easier!
Whats wrong with the wind and rain anyway...I love a good storm, I dont mind 'bloody miserable ' either, but then I was born and bred in Scotland

.
Member of..'Ive got webbed feet and Im proud of it' club. OK, they are really cloven but lets not split hairs.

 

[Shilasdair]

[ QUOTE ]
do you think the gods would notice if we did a bit of DIY re-virginizationing? We could always tell porkies, if you think it would be easier!
Whats wrong with the wind and rain anyway...I love a good storm, I dont mind 'bloody miserable ' either, but then I was born and bred in Scotland

.
Member of..'Ive got webbed feet and Im proud of it' club. OK, they are really cloven but lets not split hairs.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm Scottish too....but I note that you're now living in Italy...renowned for its weather of wind and rain

I'm willing to sacrifice anyone that offers....
S

 

[*hic*]

We sacrificed three young virgins this morning in the cold and wind and rain. Tortured them a bit too with an hour of dressage on horses that loathe the wind and wet.

It stopped raining for an hour or so but it's just about starting again - anyone got any more candidates? It seems that each sacrifice only gives about twenty minutes of good weather.

 

[ajones]

you can use my husband.. after he said this morning as i came in soaked through from making sure horses were snug and warm. you love them more than me.......well i thought that was obvious

 

[Taboo1968]

I volunteer my old Yard Owner! She wouldn't be missed!

 

[Shilasdair]

[ QUOTE ]
I volunteer my old Yard Owner! She wouldn't be missed!

[/ QUOTE ]

Now that you mention it, YOs are a rich seam to be mined for human sacrifice. I'd even be game to kill a few off in the summer....
S

 

[Donkeymad]

Well, I was going to volunteer, nothing much else to do, but then mairi suggested I can't.

 

[the watcher]

Can I nominate Giles (Ding dong scabious), he may not be a virgin but since he is a chap the weather gods might not notice

 

[Rosiefan]

I volunteer the Jersey rouge dog's owner - still regret the passing of that thread (wistful :-/)

 

[snurse]

I'd volunteer if I thought it would do any good! We're forecast storm force winds tomorrow. The horses are snug as bugs in rugs (stabled), but bored... Some of them are going to be right little horrors when they do go out.

 

[Rowreach]

Exactly, I've got to the point where I am dreading better weather because I will Have To Get Back On. And they are all looking rather Mischievous and Bored. So it's probably just as well that virgins are in short supply methinks.

 

[LeneHorse]

For those of you ex-Scottish dwellers - It was snowing today in your former homeland - bet you're glad you moved! Can I volunteer for human sacrifice the Tw*t who washed her horse today (yes - it was snowing) and did not bother to move my headcollar which I'd stupidly left lying in the washbay while I was riding. Got back to a soaked headcollar and the stupid female just looked at me as if i was daft when I passed a remark about it. Ok rant over!

 

[PennyJ]

You can have either my 12 year old or the 13 year old daughter... They've been at each others throats all day and I'd like a bit of peace and quiet...

To the best of my knowledge they're both virgins (why do you think we got the ponies lol)

 

[Fairynuff]

Beautiful sunny day here

It is snowing in central Italy and its piddling down in the south if that makes you feel any better

. M.

 

[Fairynuff]

One of them was a liar

!

 

[LauraBR]

pmsl at this thread!

 

[Pedantic]

[ QUOTE ]
They have to be a virgin...right? Well, that counts me out

. Why dont you just steal a new born, much easier and less messy!

[/ QUOTE ]

Whats a virgin, dont think Ive ever met one

 

[__Annie__]

You can have my YM

 

[Pedantic]

If your not getting any and not had any for ages and ages and ages, does that count, as I think I might be reverting back to a virgin, in which case I feel like sacrificing myself to the weather Gods, now will this mean like Muslims there will be ten Virgins waiting in paradise for me, if so, do they come with ten tubes of Canesten

 

[faerie666]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
They have to be a virgin...right?

[/ QUOTE ]

If I'd known that, I'd never have posted on THIS forum.
S

[/ QUOTE ]

I thought Satanists don't sacrifice innocents, only people who deserve it?

Mind you, that doesn't rule out virgins.
In which case the choice should be plentiful, right?

 

[Shilasdair]

Ok,
Jemima_too....I'm not saying your sacrifices weren't suitable...but it's still raining here...so no more from you, thanks.
Mairi - I can't sacrifice anyone with cloven feet, now can I?
Angharad - sounds good, your husband is a possible choice - will he scream in a satisfying fashion, do you think?
Regarding YO/Giles/Donkeymad...sorry, the weather gods don't want 'em either...they particularly dislike donkeys, for some reason

Jersey rouge dogs - I am not allowed to cast any aspersions as to the character and location of any dog shooters

Pedantic - I reckon it's between you and Angharad's husband at the moment....you'll have lots of nubile young women...and beer....but only if you scream very loudly....
Any more takers?
And should I do a poll to determine the lucky choice?
S

 

[rabatsa]

I'd take donkeymad up on her offer and forget the virginity bit as the laws have probably been rewritten since then...

 

[Shilasdair]

[ QUOTE ]
I'd take donkeymad up on her offer and forget the virginity bit as the laws have probably been rewritten since then...

[/ QUOTE ]

We could have her torn apart by her own donkeys perhaps?
Then at least a donkey's ass would be the last thing she'd see....
I don't know though...I think the men might make more showy sacrifices....
S

 

[rabatsa]

Its a pain threshold thing, men would give up too soon.

 

[Donkeymad]

You've already spoken to Rosie the little old lady haven't you? She started on me this morning. I'm bored, I'm still offering. You know it's warm in hell don't you?