Hunting types

then of course there's the Masters Son...

Little Edward is 9, and slightly over horsed on his sisters hunting pony (as he's outgrown his dartmoor, and it won't jump anyway). The pony is good as gold, but likes to be up front, which is fine with Edward as he's been told by Mother to keep up with Father all day, and she'll see him at second horses and take him home. As the field appraoch a line of big hedges the Master tells his son to go with the non jumping field as these will be too big for him. The Master turns around 2 minutes later to find that Edward has followed him, putting many of the field to shame, and grinning like a good'un! By the time second horses comes around Edward is exhausted, and the pony is still buzzing, but happy to call it a day.
 
PMSL at some of these,
A bit further on from the masters son-
The Kamikaze Child- Normally mounted on something that closely resembles a Whippet the Kamikaze Child is ALWAYS right at the front, or can often be seen being sent off to help the Whip, as the Kamikaze Child will happily jump over anything that looks half jumpable and give anyone a lead. normally encouraged by half cut members of the field the Child delights in charging round even when hounds are drawing and everyone else is stood still and finding as many hedges, ditches and gates to jump, much to the amusement of the rest of the field who egg them on with great gusto wishing they could do so themselves.
 
The Terrier Boys..usually in three`s or fours,clad in smartish pale green shooting jackets ,terriers on huge brass couples.Always up where it matters,either on quads terrier boxes strapped aboard,or striding extremely fast accross country; they are ever on the alert for antis ,so they can have "a quiet word" well away from witnesses.:o
 
EAST KENT said:
The Terrier Boys..usually in three`s or fours,clad in smartish pale green shooting jackets ,terriers on huge brass couples.Always up where it matters,either on quads terrier boxes strapped aboard,or striding extremely fast accross country; they are ever on the alert for antis ,so they can have "a quiet word" well away from witnesses.:o
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Perfect! We couldn't be without the terrier boys!
 
irish_only said:
Oh God just thought of another one.

The Military Man

Overweight as he has a desk job now. Talks in a VERY LOUD VOICE. Chats ALL the women up, even though his wife is out in the field. Incapable of getting his own horse ready. Blames HER when a knee boot slips/hasn't got his gloves/arrive late/loses a shoe/horse stops. Usually mounted on an absolute saint of a horse that doesn't mind what he does.
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Oh sounds like POLO!!!!!
 
How about the Keen but Poor

Who works extremely long hours to fund horse and hunting and turns up towing a trailer with his work van. Never has time to plait his light boned TB that he bought cheap from the sales. Born and brought up on Newmarket Heath, it was astonished to be expected to go down dingles and scrabble up bramble sided hills and then jump a scraggly hedge. But, he does it because his rider expects him to. He jumps, scrambles, gets to the other side regardless and stays out to the end of the day. And he knows where the hounds are heading and is always up there at the end. His owner is also in great demand at hunt fund raising as electrician, plumber, carpenter and can turn his hand to anything.
Snooty members of the field look down on his accent and turn out but the Huntsman, Master and Secretary know his real worth.
 
Oh yes, I knew one of those when I was hunting about ten years ago. Towed his trailer with his sign-written white transit and turned out pretty much in wellies and anorak the first time he came! but he was keen as mustard and out EVERY saturday (and still is I think).
 
Loving these:D

...and now feeling very "lost a pound, found a penny" as my nearest mounted pack is 40 miles away, it's too cold to hunt and I have nothing suitable except a diva of an ancient arab who doesn't 'do' English anyway. God I miss all of it. :(

No idea what classification I would have come under, other than a ride to hunt type mounted on a very small, very fizzy, ayrabby thing.
 
Ditchjumper2 said:
The Point to Point Rider

Rough, scrawny, skinny male in old hunting clothes. To be seen on equally rough skinny TB. Horse usually dark bay, very hairy and to be seen spinning round and backing into everything whilst he sits calmly smoking a roll up and laughing. Rest of field try to avoid him at all costs especially when horse throws itself on the floor. Secretary happy as she is safely in her car and has already banked his cheque and is no danger of getting kicked. Rest of field can't wait until he has been out required length of time and goes home.
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Ha, ha, ha - I know him very well!
 
Similar to one done before but here it is anyway:

The mad group of tiny children
There is never only one, normally a group of at least five, all on tiny ponies who never stop galloping once. Whenever a gateway approaches they go hell for leather to squeeze through the gap, only to find that they are all as fast as each other and they have to go through at the same time. They have no respect for any other member of the hunt, the occasional exception being the Master, but still put everyone to shame with their guts and their ridiculous ability to stay on. The ponies are invariably tiny, wired and generally nuts and their parents croon about how well they do to manage them.

Can you tell they annoy me? :D
 
Apercrumbie said:
Similar to one done before but here it is anyway:

The mad group of tiny children
There is never only one, normally a group of at least five, all on tiny ponies who never stop galloping once. Whenever a gateway approaches they go hell for leather to squeeze through the gap, only to find that they are all as fast as each other and they have to go through at the same time. They have no respect for any other member of the hunt, the occasional exception being the Master, but still put everyone to shame with their guts and their ridiculous ability to stay on. The ponies are invariably tiny, wired and generally nuts and their parents croon about how well they do to manage them.

Can you tell they annoy me? :D
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Don't get me started on kids!!! Having said that I did jump one once complete with pony when it did a u turn as I was taking off!!!
 
These are totally fantastic!

I think we've forgotten "Arabella IT girl .....

She works in London, had ponies as a child, usually plays polo these days (the guys are so fit!), but knew a chap who hunted so thought what the hell, i'll give it a try this w'end when i visit him in the country. Usually on a hireling/latest boyfriends horse, has big blonde hair fashionably styled, sticking out under her hat, old jacket from the pony club days on, boyfriends ties and shirt, fashion long riding boots that she wears in London and fully made up with loads of blusher and eye make up. She loves the meet as you can get "totally hammered" before you start, usually falls off after too much hip flask, but thinks thats quite cool, the mud messy look. Always ends up back at the pub they met at, stating that was "totally awesome" whilst ordering champagne/sloegasms and thinks its going to be her latest hobbie...... (which will probably last as long as the boyfriend!) She is sooooooooooooo now in with this hunt!
 
The car follower..extremely old and decrepit,equally so his means of transport.Wife,probably called Doris,stays sitting in the car all day,with the fat jack russel ,whose tail is docked so short as to be a mere bobble stuck onto it`s fat little bottom.
He spends the day watching intently beside the dripping covert hoping to see some action,and rarely does..he is however censorious of the incumbent huntsman whose entire fault it is that he and Doris are having such a dull time.
However ,dull it may be,but he and Doris are out every day of the season.
 
EAST KENT said:
The car follower..extremely old and decrepit,equally so his means of transport.Wife,probably called Doris,stays sitting in the car all day,with the fat jack russel ,whose tail is docked so short as to be a mere bobble stuck onto it`s fat little bottom.
He spends the day watching intently beside the dripping covert hoping to see some action,and rarely does..he is however censorious of the incumbent huntsman whose entire fault it is that he and Doris are having such a dull time.
However ,dull it may be,but he and Doris are out every day of the season.
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They must know the Fossils! (see prev. post)
 
SamuelWhiskers said:
These are totally fantastic!

I think we've forgotten "Arabella IT girl .....

She works in London, had ponies as a child, usually plays polo these days (the guys are so fit!), but knew a chap who hunted so thought what the hell, i'll give it a try this w'end when i visit him in the country. Usually on a hireling/latest boyfriends horse, has big blonde hair fashionably styled, sticking out under her hat, old jacket from the pony club days on, boyfriends ties and shirt, fashion long riding boots that she wears in London and fully made up with loads of blusher and eye make up. She loves the meet as you can get "totally hammered" before you start, usually falls off after too much hip flask, but thinks thats quite cool, the mud messy look. Always ends up back at the pub they met at, stating that was "totally awesome" whilst ordering champagne/sloegasms and thinks its going to be her latest hobbie...... (which will probably last as long as the boyfriend!) She is sooooooooooooo now in with this hunt!
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HAHA! Roll on the hunt ball she thinks!
 
SamuelWhiskers said:
These are totally fantastic!

I think we've forgotten "Arabella IT girl .....

She works in London, had ponies as a child, usually plays polo these days (the guys are so fit!), but knew a chap who hunted so thought what the hell, i'll give it a try this w'end when i visit him in the country. Usually on a hireling/latest boyfriends horse, has big blonde hair fashionably styled, sticking out under her hat, old jacket from the pony club days on, boyfriends ties and shirt, fashion long riding boots that she wears in London and fully made up with loads of blusher and eye make up. She loves the meet as you can get "totally hammered" before you start, usually falls off after too much hip flask, but thinks thats quite cool, the mud messy look. Always ends up back at the pub they met at, stating that was "totally awesome" whilst ordering champagne/sloegasms and thinks its going to be her latest hobbie...... (which will probably last as long as the boyfriend!) She is sooooooooooooo now in with this hunt!
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I want to meet this girl, she sounds funnnn! xx
 
MissySmythe said:
They must know the Fossils! (see prev. post)
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Oh ,they do on nodding terms only, he and Doris have never ever been astride a horse and their parsimonious little wreck of a car does fifty to the gallon,being more of the "lower" order in hunt society they are not on the invite list for the Puppy Show.
They are the backbone of the cause ..but The Committee have yet to realise this. Sadly.
 
Ditchjumper2 said:
The Point to Point Rider

Rough, scrawny, skinny male in old hunting clothes. To be seen on equally rough skinny TB. Horse usually dark bay, very hairy and to be seen spinning round and backing into everything whilst he sits calmly smoking a roll up and laughing. Rest of field try to avoid him at all costs especially when horse throws itself on the floor. Secretary happy as she is safely in her car and has already banked his cheque and is no danger of getting kicked. Rest of field can't wait until he has been out required length of time and goes home.
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This made me laugh as you are describing my dad although he doesnt smoke and you would have to add ancient on to the list describing him, but the spinning backing in to everything and the horse throwing itself on the floor are spot on you could aslo add jumping in to the middle of ditches falling backwards and sitting like a dog and the ultimate horse jumping in to a cattle grid getting all four legs down and having to call the fire brigade to remove.

But he is just as keen to get the whole thing over with and for him to go home as even he says fit pointers dont make the best hunters.:eek:
 
EAST KENT said:
Oh ,they do on nodding terms only, he and Doris have never ever been astride a horse and their parsimonious little wreck of a car does fifty to the gallon,being more of the "lower" order in hunt society they are not on the invite list for the Puppy Show.
They are the backbone of the cause ..but The Committee have yet to realise this. Sadly.
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Oh yes EK that is so true.....Lavinia Fossil would only telephone Doris with regard to the church cleaning..........
 
The "WTF" Rider.

Super looking horse "proper stamp" as described by Field Master. Jumps anything at home or anywhere else. Except, she discovers, out hunting!

Has been spoilt by too many nice surfaces and feels that hooves and mud should never meet. Rider hunted for years, but had to stop for a very long time due to work and injury. So middle aged glad to be back in the field.

Horse is mannered etc etc just refuses to jump, is chased and encouraged over post and rail 3 times by the "Elegant Lady" MFH to get the so and so going. Rider ecstatic.

Promptly loses a shoe, so has to hack 3 miles to box instead of being able to keep horse going, cussing all the way, calling down curses upon head of said horse. Arrives home wet, filthy and beaming as she still had a fabulous day. Is already checking meet card.

Paddy
 
tootsietoo said:
Paddy, have you been watching me??? :D
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That was my days hunting on Tuesday :)

We shall crack it, like everything else. If I buy a horse just for hunting I'll be in the "looking for rich hubby" Type as mine will have legged it!

Hope yours starts getting the hang of it. The Elegant MFH said he was taking the .......:D

So I shall continue in my endevours - the rest of the field of the MSSH will cringe every tuesday/thursday - as we hove into view.

Paddy
 
PortwayPaddy said:
The "WTF" Rider.

Super looking horse "proper stamp" as described by Field Master. Jumps anything at home or anywhere else. Except, she discovers, out hunting!

Has been spoilt by too many nice surfaces and feels that hooves and mud should never meet. Rider hunted for years, but had to stop for a very long time due to work and injury. So middle aged glad to be back in the field.

Horse is mannered etc etc just refuses to jump, is chased and encouraged over post and rail 3 times by the "Elegant Lady" MFH to get the so and so going. Rider ecstatic.

Promptly loses a shoe, so has to hack 3 miles to box instead of being able to keep horse going, cussing all the way, calling down curses upon head of said horse. Arrives home wet, filthy and beaming as she still had a fabulous day. Is already checking meet card.

Paddy
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Paddy this made me lol
 
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