Husband wants to leave... advice needed

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Just echoing the advice of everyone else really - a family solicitor is what you need. I don't know how serious this is for your husband, but it's important for your own sanity you seek advice on where you stand and what you can do if this all does go ahead.

Hugs to you - stay strong x
 
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as i've obviously said my bit...and my advice of putting this in SB to get a better resonse and to get a solicitor isn't correct...

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I sympathise, as would anyone - but there are always two sides to every sad story such as this. Yes, the obvious solution is to go to The CAB or a Solicitor in the first instance as Legal Aid could be available to you. However, what I cannot understand is some-one washing their dirty laundry in public, on an open forum. Surely you have (I hope) relatives and close friends with whom you could discuss this situation instead?
 
I suggest you don't venture into the soapbox because we're all airing our filthy dirty laundry in there
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I have gone through some horrific times and the support of the people on this forum is second to none and I for one look forward to every 'dirty laundry' airing post where perhaps a few words from me may help them feel a little better on a [****] day.
 
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Agree Kitsune.....plus sometimes its better/easier to speak to people who are not intimately involved.....

OP....hugs babe- you will find a way through, ditto all the good advice you have been given.

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Amen to that. Sometimes you just need to vent, but you can't talk to family through not wanting to 'burden' them - especially if you are used to being the strong one.
 
I have to agree Kitsune. CC - Maybe she cant confide in family or friends because of judgement etc!

I really hope all works out for you, i have nothing to add to what everyone else has said.
Just remember people go through this every day and come out shining and im sure you will do the same. Good luck.xx
 
Huge hugs to you Spyda (((hugs))).

I think everyone has given excellent advice about going to see the CAB and a good solicitor.

I hope that it works out well for you.
 
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I suggest you don't venture into the soapbox because we're all airing our filthy dirty laundry in there
smirk.gif


I have gone through some horrific times and the support of the people on this forum is second to none and I for one look forward to every 'dirty laundry' airing post where perhaps a few words from me may help them feel a little better on a [****] day.

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Im with you on this one kitsune
 
I'm sorry. I'll go to Citizen’s Advice. I've not used them before, but yes of course that's where to go. I didn't mind asking on here as it is anonymous and I hope I've been able to help others on here in the past. I'm sorry, I just didn't know where else to ask for advice from others who might know.

To those of you who ask, I wish I my family. I really do. I keep thinking that and missing them. I was born in America and am an only child. My Dad died in 2004 of cancer and my Mum of the same in 2007, and I never knew my extended family on either side. My friends locally are just my acquaintances at the yard; the rest of my time is spent with my son and other children. I guess I've isolated myself since having the children.

Thank you to everyone here who took the time to reply. It helps.
 
Sorry to hear your news. I went through the same several years ago. I recognise the panic. It will be hard, but you will come through. I am happier now than ever! Take the advice and act asap.
 
Have a look on your local councils website as they should have more specific departments such as welfare rights just in case you struggle to get an appointment at CAB as they are often bombed out. My local welfare rights do hom evisits which may be helpful to you with your children and they will assist with all the form filling.
Just with you saying that you are quite isolated and i hope i'm not telling you things you already know or being patronising but have you considered speaking with social services children with a disability team. They may be able to give you some support with your child with aspergers and should at least be able to point you in the direction of any local support groups where you may have the opportunity to meet other parents in similar situations should you not wish any further involvement from them.
You will be entitled to financial support however i would make it clear to your OH that not living in the same household does not entitle him to walk away from his responsibilities. Easy for me to say i know but try and be strong, best of luck.
 
I am Very sorry to hear your news. I have no good advice other than everyone on here had already said.
Although I work at deaf school where i do one to one with a child of same age with asperger's, the child is wonderful but really hard work. Anyway for the Child with Aspreger's, Have you thought about beneifits for the child such as Disablity living allowance, I think there is another one but not sure what it is, it's worthawhile to discuss this with CAB if you haven't already do so.

Chin up. (((Hugs)))
 
I am in the same situation as you - my husband left me last Sunday - although my sons are both 18. I just went through all our bills, papers etc and rang everyone up and told them my situation. It has taken all week, if you ring Income Support they will tell you all your benefits and contact Child Maintenance for you - everyone I have spoken to has been really kind.

I really feel for you, bigs hugs.

Sara x
 
Hiya, so sorry, this must be a big shock.
Firstly, most solicitors provide a free initial 30min consultation. After which,as you are unemployed you can apply for legal aid, so you will incur no solicitors fees. You should take all relevent information regarding both your and your husbands income, including bonuses, pensions, shares, benefits, incl child benefit etc. Basically ALL income no matter how insignificant you think it is.
Also, as your child has diognised aspergers, and you stay at home to care for him, you should be entitled to carers benefit.
You husband cannot just walk away from his responsibilities, either to you and your children, or financial. I assume your mortgage and other bills are in his name or joint names?
He is therefore responsible for them. He will need to continue to pay the mortgage, or atleast part of it, and you are entitled to atleast 20% of his income (maybe more for 4 kids, it's 20% for 2) and a % of any bonuses and his pension.
A lot of men think it will be easy to just walk away.
It isn't. He will have to pay you.
The only way he can get out of it is to stop work himself, in which case he will also be unable to support himself.
He can't force you to sell the house until the children are 18. Even then I think the equity split would be in your favour.
As you can probably tell, I've been through this myself, and also know others who have!!
You will get through this xx
 
As others have said - Family law solicitor. Benefits Office. Copy every single bit of paperwork in the house. Including most importantly mortgages, bills, pay slips and pension documents.

If you have a joint bank account - ensure that the bank know that the accounts should be put on allert for large amounts being withdrawn.

Ensure that the mortgage has actually been paid over the last few months, as well as other bills as well.

Hugs. Be strong.
 
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