I am a bad owner

[Spudlet]

My dog understands commands given in swears

The shame

 

[{97702}]

No that makes you a normal dog owner All my dogs have always known ******* off as a command

 

[blackcob]

My greatest dog training moment came about recently when I completely lost my rag. I was out in the paddock poo picking, the dogs were zooming around play fighting and one of them went flying in to the full barrow, knocked it over and spilt the poo.

Having already told them off a few times that morning for being silly I shouted at the top of my my voice something along the lines of 'GE'ERE NOW YOU SODS' only with more !&*@£, had them lie down and went stomping off to re-scoop and tramp off to the other end of the field to empty the barrow.

It wasn't until I was half way through filling the barrow again, at the other end of the field, that I realised the dogs were still lying in the same spot looking very sheepish. Having never achieved more than a minute's stay with either of them until then they'd been there for about ten minutes.

I have therefore resolved to swear at them more often.

 

[Annette4]

Jack responds better to 'Get here fatty' than to his name.

Tia thought her name was a swear word for a long time and responds better to 'stay the **** there' than to stay.

 

[Gwyntbryn]

Was once holding my daughter's pony at a show. Said pony was reluctant to stand still and completely unable to avoid you feet. The third time she trodd heavily on my instep I lost it and bellowed "WILL YOU STAND STILL YOU B*******R". I then heard a chuckle, and turned round to see a chap holding the leads of two rottweilers who were both lying on their backs looking scared!

 

[Montyforever]

Yep, after repeating "go to bed barney" 3 times with him walking to his bed then coming straight back " GET THE **** TO BED .. NOW!!!!" gets the message across in one go

 

[Lunchbox legend]

Absolutely howling with laughter at this thread . Glad I'm not the only one who swears at their animals

No that makes you a normal dog owner All my dogs have always known ******* off as a command

Most of mine too. It became the party trick for a couple of them

Tia thought her name was a swear word for a long time

I have a little puppy who wags his tail and comes running to you when you call him a tw.t or f...wit. He thinks he's so funny

I lost it and bellowed "WILL YOU STAND STILL YOU B*******R". I then heard a chuckle, and turned round to see a chap holding the leads of two rottweilers who were both lying on their backs looking scared!

 

[paisley]

I yelled at the whippet in exasperation after he'd run after his favourite ball-onna-rope and dropped it for the millionth time " Well fetch the ball, you stupid a***!" Helpfully, the nice man near the whippet picked up the ball and gave it back to me. Never even occured to me why he didn't seem very impressed when handing it back.

 

[Nessa4]

Yep, after repeating "go to bed barney" 3 times with him walking to his bed then coming straight back " GET THE **** TO BED .. NOW!!!!" gets the message across in one go

When I was very little we lived next door to a retired colonel and his terrier, and every night on the stroke of 10 we heard the same ritual - "Brownie" pause, "Brownie" pause, "BROWNIE, BLAST YOU, COME HERE!" followed by the back door closing. The dog was never known to go in at first or second call!!