I am a little scared to do this but...

A

Abbeygale

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Can you tell me what you think of my advert?

http://www.horsemart.co.uk/advert/13_yrs_15_1_hh_chestnut_welsh_x_cornwall/92047

Its been up for a couple of weeks not, and I have not had much interest.

She is a genuine, honest mare, who anyone could hack & do dressage with - unfortunately she has just had a late start in life.

I think I need to get some new pics of her - as these ones were as her hog was growing out, and she has a full compliment of mane now - but it is difficult to get pics taken, as I have no one to help me :(

Any suggestions would be appreciated - but try not to be too cruel! She is my special girl after all....


xx
 
My 1st reaction is change the 1st picture to the 3rds. She really looks very ordinary in the 1st picture, whereas in the 3rd you can see she's actually got something going about her.

You could also say that you've grown the hog out.... People may worry that she's that way because she has sweet itch.

Other people may have other suggestions, that's just what struck me.
 
Thanks Mrs M!! :)

She is a lovely girl, and is sooo easy to do in every respect. She is the first horse I have ever had that I have actually enjoyed taking out to the comps we have been to - she stands patiently in the lorry and then no dramas at all when we start working!

I know where I am makes things more difficult, but I didn't know whether it was just its still a bit early in the year?
 
Thanks galaxy - I have tried about 10 times to change the picture over on there - but for some reason it just would not do it!! I completely agree with you though - I have used the 3rd pic as the main one on adhorse where she is also on.

TBH the people who have phoned up about her haven't even mentioned the hog! But I will try and get that added in too.

thanks you muchly xxx
 
Another one for showing her under saddle as she looks really good in those pictures. Take away the last one of her in the yard as it doesn't make her look as special as those in ridden pictures.
 
It might be worth sharpening up the ad a little - be more positive. e.g. rather than 'never scored less than 60% so far', say 'has always scored over 60%'. Try not to elaborate too much, you can always tell people who ring up a bit more about her. She sounds very nice, although she looks a little long-backed, but maybe a bit over-priced in the current market, especially as she hasn't really jumped yet. I agree that it would be a good idea to swap the pics around. I had trouble moving from one to the next, so you really do need to put the best first.
 
First of all I think she is lovely and a very willing honest looking type! i think a bit of rephrasing will accentuate the positives and not what may be deemed negatives eg her lack of jumping experience.

"She has not scored below 60% so far." would read far far better as to date has consistently scored in excess of 60%!

"I have jumped her a couple of times and she jumped well, but I have not done a great deal of work towards jumping so far. However, I do not think that she will be difficult to teach to jump, as she is a very quick learner." - She has approached her limited jumping experiences with the same willing and kind attitude that she does everything else and with the right guidance will continue to learn and build on this experience!

"She is forward going, but is never joggy or silly." She is forward going while retaining her sensible attitude!

These are just a few rephrasings that paint her limited experience in a more positive light. I would also take out the part about being a broodmare for most of her life as at 13 with only 2 foals it may raise questions as to what she did the other years!

I hope this helps...she really does look a lovely model and type
 
OK, my honest opinion is that she looks really strong in the pics because she looks over bent and appears to be leaning - I am sure she is not, but that is the first thought I get *heavy in the hand* That does not mean that everyone would think that tho, but it is what I get from the pics, and I am afraid if the pics don't grab me then I don't always read on!
 
Yes - I understand where you are coming from Weezy. She isn't strong, and doesn't lean - I'm quite a weakling TBH (!!!) and I really know it if they lean on me! I would really like to get some more ridden pics, but it is difficult to do unfortunately.

I think I will need to try and pin a photographer down shortly! Probably quite literally!
 
I think she looks and sounds a nice sort, and you sound like a guenuine seller.

I too thought that only 2 foals in 13yrs of mostly being a broodmare makes her sound a bit unsuccesfull, you could change it a bit to 'Has bred two lovely foals, one can be seen'

A bit off topic, How long did it take for her hog to grow out, and has it helped in getting it to lay where you want it. Please:)
 
daydreambeliever - I hogged Ted last year in about Sept I think and he now has a lovely, full, properly hanging mane if that helps - have already pulled it 4 times!
 
Thanks Flo_Bell and Weezy, so if i brave hogging my boy i will ony have to feel bad for about 6months if i don't like it. :D

Hope you find the perfect home for your mare Flo_Bell

Stupid laptop wont let me add smilies all of a sudden ???
 
Wow!! She seems absolutely perfect, just exactly what i am looking for, i also live in cornwall, a few miles out of newquay ! But there is only one thing..i cannot afford to buy a horse so i am only looking for long term/perm loan or loan :( :(
 
She is a beautiful sort and I def don't think you should be tempted to drop your price if she's a genuinely safe ride and schools well as she's not an old crock - don't give her away. Good luck, know how hard selling is - have you put up cards in tack and feed shops? I find that often works :)
 
She is quite nice! And I'm not a chestnut mare fan :o

The first thing I noticed was that she looks overbent in the first photo and very heavy in the second :o

But she is rather lovely :)
 
Thanks G&T - yes she is a very genuine honest horse. I haven't put up cards in our feed merchants - but thanks for the suggestion! Will on that in the next couple of days!!

Thanks xRobyn - she is a little deep in the first - but was just stretching in the second. She doesn't do leaning or heavy in the hand - but I know what you are saying. I want to try to get some new pics shortly - thanks for your help x
 
Thanks DB - ad was on H&H as well - I think H&H runs out at the end of this week on the website. TBH I think the calls I had were via the H&H website rather than Horsemart - its just there is more on the Horsemart than on H&H, and I wanted some opinions of what I had included! I also have her on adhorse.

I haven't yet put her in the local press as yet - but that is my next planned step. Unfortunately the local paper is actually more expensive than H&H & Horsemart put together!! :(
 
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