I am about to upset my yard owner

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Myhorseeatsmoney

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Sorry I just need to vent about this!

I am at a yard that isn't the smartest but the facilities are good, hacking great, and other people on the yard are fab. The yard owner who also is training me sold me my new horse, and that is where the problem has started. She has been lending me tack because he is a youngster and will obviously change shape.

The saddle she has put out for me the last couple of days is too tight on his withers so I asked her to double check it and she still said it was fine. So I decided not to ride in it but to make arrangements to take him to my local saddler who has always fitted saddles for me before. I told her that I was taking him and she made it very plain that she believes she should be there for the fitting and that I should let her decide which saddle fits. I like her very much but not enough to make my new horse have a pain in his back.

I don't think I am being unreasonable but I can't understand why she is so insistant on being there.

Is this normal as I haven't come across it before?
 
Sounds like she's finding it hard to let go! The only solutions are to wean her off subtly, tell her straight (and risk making your yard life a bit unbearable!) or leave. I would probably leave, as personally I wouldn't be able to stand her watching every move I made! I doubt this saddle situation will be the last thing she interferes with.
 
I'd politely tell her to P off & find yourself another more professional person to train u. Far too involved/nosey for my liking! Good luck :D
 
She obviously wants to feel involved, she sold you the horse, trains you and probably gives you a lot of help and advice, I am much the same with my liveries doing more than just being a YO BUT in this case she is overstepping the mark, it is not her place to check on the saddle fitting that is why you are going to a professional.

You need to decide which saddle you want, it is your horse now and she needs to accept that, try being tactful, unless you want to move on, maybe discuss what you are hoping to buy, see if she can suggest a style that may suit, you dont need to take it onboard but keep her onside by listening:)
 
She wouldn't be the first yard owner to interfere to that extent, and from the sounds of it your relationship with her won't help, if you bought her horse and go to her for training.

Agree with Stacy about your options, unfortunately. Another option is to take her to the fitting, so that she can hear the saddle fitter's opinion on the fit, but don't expect her to automatically accept it or trust the saddler if it goes against her own views!

(I don't think it's acceptable to behave like that - it's just that it happens more than it ought to.)
 
Good idea :) I hope I didn't worry u. He's clearly not hopping lame but worth keeping an eye on in my opinion! Hopefully he's fine & like u say he's due a saddle check do maybe that's a factor ;)
 
OP, tell her to sod off, or better yet sod off yourself. At least, that's what I would do, so do the opposite. I'm a cantankerous git who doesn't like to be interfered with. You're probably much nicer than me :D

elsazzo said:
Good idea :) I hope I didn't worry u. He's clearly not hopping lame but worth keeping an eye on in my opinion! Hopefully he's fine & like u say he's due a saddle check do maybe that's a factor ;)
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Is that aimed at the haffy video? :)
 
Difficult situation. We bought a pony from YO and ended up having to move because she wouldn't keep out of it. Everything we did was wrong.. is she was in then she should be out ,if out she should be in. She had the wrong bedding the wrong hay and the wrong feed. After a major fiasco over the use/non-use of a grazing muzzle we could stand no more.

Your horse needs his saddle checked. End of. Tell her it's time you bought your own although she has been very kind and generous in her loaning you one. That might soften the blow. Then take him without saying any more.
 
Sounds like my old YO! She was my instructor and sold me my horse, and I did some part-time teaching for her. At first she was great and super-helpful but after a while she got very controlling - to the point where I was not allowed to be there when the vet came to give yearly vaccines. I think she just could not let go, as she had trained and competed on my horse for a few years. In the end I left when she upped the fees and went to a yard where the YO is nice and relaxed and doesn't care what I do or do 't do with my mare. Such a relief to be somewhere without someone looking over your shoulder and commenting the whole time. It did take me a long time and lots of stress to make the decision to move though, as I felt like I owed her something (which of course I did'nt).
Is your YO at all approachable? Could you thank her for her help and concern but explain that you really would like your saddler to see your horse and as you will be paying for it, it is your decision?
Then I would go looking for a new yard...
 
JFTD said:
OP, tell her to sod off, or better yet sod off yourself. At least, that's what I would do, so do the opposite. I'm a cantankerous git who doesn't like to be interfered with. You're probably much nicer than me :D



Is that aimed at the haffy video? :)
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yes it was!! :D woopsiE!!......

was on my phone and didnt realise i had skipped on to the next thread!!!

(sorry for any confusion!!!lol)
 
I see no reason for there to be any upset.

Ladyinred said:
Your horse needs his saddle checked. End of. Tell her it's time you bought your own although she has been very kind and generous in her loaning you one. That might soften the blow. Then take him without saying any more.
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This. Just be politely assertive. She only concerned about the horse's best interests - big bonus in my books, it's just up to you to remain in control of your horse.
 
...agree with everyone else..unless she's offering to pay for it for you & give it a a no questions asked present!??

I would be rather embarassed for the saddler, he's professional after all and that would be really ride of her to over rule hi professional opinion..

If it gets aerated pls take pics! Genuinely hope it all works out for you and you find the perfect saddle ...
 
I can only think that the YO is concerned that saddle fitter may try to sell you something unsuitable. I think it is a bit extreame to suggest leaving the yard if all else is fine. She may just be feeling a bit overprotective as the horse used to be hers. If you are worried and she insists on going with you why not phone the saddle fitter and warn her that YO is coming and explain situation, that she is a little bit overprotective but the choise of saddle is yours, that way saddle fitter will be aware.
 
Thanks for the replies. She has tried to persuade me not to go ahead but I have been very honest but polite and told her that whilst I am very happy to go along with most of her suggestions I will not change my farrier or saddler because they have always given me 1st class service.

I am hoping that we can get over this as her yard is happy, friendly and I would hate to move so I am going to carry on as normal and try to let things settle down.

Thank you for all the free advice though.
 
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