I am afraid of my horse

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Vetgirl

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Hi Everyone,

Please can you advise me? After a gap of many years I finally found the time and money to buy my own horse and became a proud owner three weeks ago. But we seem to be failing to bond - I know it is probably my fault as I am now scared of him. I bought him as bomb proof and quiet, easy to handle, but whether it is the new environment or me, he seems anything but. He seems to dislike me, he won't stand still in the stable to be groomed, won't let me pick out all his feet (he gets fed up after two or three, doesn't matter if front or back) is difficult to tack up and is spooky out riding. He has twice tried to bite me and moves to crush me against the side of the stable. He barges when he is being led in a head collar and is totally food orientated. He has plenty to eat, he grazes outside during the day and comes in at night to feed (exactly the same as he received from his previous owner) and hay. He is inseparable from his new field companion and panics if he is out of sight. I've had his back, legs and saddle checked, no problems there. I am now panicking and feel I have made a big mistake. Can anyone give me some advice? Thanks in advance.
 
3 weeks is not a long time for a horse to settle to a new yard and new regime. I would suggest you get an instructor out asap to help you with your groundwork.
 
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When i first got mine i was in exactly the same position as you are now. I was gutted and thought i had made the biggest mistake ever.
I had him about three months and all but gave up on him...id had a few nasty falls and we were both miserable.
It did come good in the end, and not because im a brilliant horsewoman,because im not!
I gave up the riding alltogether and just brought him in every day for a feed and fuss, then gradually we got our confidence in each other. For a while i would just put the bridle on him and walk round the farm getting him to listen to my commands, when i felt confident i got him lungeing (of a fashion) and listening to more comands, then i got on him in the school and eventually went out hacking.
It must be awful for a horse to be moved, one day they are out grazing with their mates enjoying life and then the next with no warning shipped off to a new home where everything is strange and scary.
During the first six months my bloke used to dread my phonecalls..my entire mood depended on how i had got on with the horse.
I have to add im posting as someone who went to the worst dealer in the country and bought a horse without any help at all.
Im sure more experienced people will have quicker and better ways to help you, i can only go by what worked for me, and i have to say the same horse is a dope on a rope now!
 
Agree 3 weeks is not long, what hard feed is he getting? How often are you riding? And how many hours turnout is he getting? Also agree about getting an instructor to help you.
 
If it were me, I'd stop the riding for a bit and just concentrate on getting to know him and firmly teach him the manners he seems to have lost.
Spend some time in the school, with him leading him around. Keep the grooming sessions short and work up to longer.
I was the same years ago but had only just got into riding and although my Nadia is a complete moody moo, I love her and trust her and she doesn't half do the things she used to.
Sounds like he is testing you which is what happened to me but get some friends to help you and an instructor when you do ride and keep with it. Good luck!
 
Sounds to me like he needs to be taught some manners! Get a dually halter to lead him in so you will have more control, be firm with him at all times, i.e. do not let him get away with anythign you do not want him to do. If this means everything taking twice as long because you are correcting him all the time for a while then so be it, but you need to let him know you're boss and at the moment it sounds like he is walking all over you. Also do some groundwork with the dually, get him backing up and release the pressure when he does as he's told, etc.

With regards to feet picking out, you just have to be consistant, eventually he will pick all feet up but you just have to keep on asking and not give up half way through because that way he wins and learns that if he doesn't want to do it then you won't make him do it. Do them in the same order everytime and do them every evening and he will soon get used to the routine.

Him not standing still to be groomed is another manners thing, tie him up for a start and if he barges you then you must put him right back to where he was standing, you can do this by swishing the leadrope from side to side infront of him so that he moves back or by physically pushing him back. some horses you only have to 'square up' to them and the body language is enough for them to move away from you.

I hope that doesn't come across as rude but basically he's a new horse testing his boundaries to see what he can get away with so needs to be put in his place and will be a lot nicer horse to be around. In regards to riding, I would start with some ground work first and then progress to riding once he has some better manners in place! :)
 
Three weeks is not long enough to make any judgement on his character or suitability for you. Don't worry, it's completely common for most horses to behave differently when they are uprooted and in a new place. My mare, who I have owned nearly five years, even scared me a little with some of her behaviour recently when I moved her to a different yard, and I am completely comfortable around her normally. So a horse who has a new home, and a new owner is bound to feel very insecure to start with and this will reflect in his behaviour. I echo what others say, cut out the riding for now, and do lots of groundwork with him/groom him/spend some time just fussing him etc. Don't beat yourself up if you don't feel like you are bonding yet - it's very very early days and it can take months and sometimes years to get a proper bond with your horse. It's completely normal :). Would you be able to get a decent instructor who you trust to help you and give you some lessons with the riding?
 
Hello and welcome....it can take months to develop a working relationship with your horse..my daughters gelding was bolshy ill mannered and wouldn't pick feet up but daughter persisted (sometimes twenty minutes to pick up one foot) and he slowly improved - now respecting space , picking feet up etc. Its dark and cold and your new friend doesn't understand why everything has changed. Be firm and consistent and ask an experienced instructor to help you on the ground until you feel better about things.
 
Thanks all - good advice. I will stop trying to ride for a bit and concentrate on ground work and getting to know each other better, with help from an instructor. I feel more hopeful already.
 
You need to stop and go back to basics with him and put some manners in there. Also, who did you buy him off because if you are really unhappy you CAN say he was missold.
 
It is a vicious cycle - if you aren't confident he will worry about what he thinks might be worrying you, and the more he reacts the less confident you will get. There are a few exercises you can do that put you back into the position of leader (in his mind) and they are very effective, much better than getting cross with him because that just adds fear to the mix. Most of the exercises rely a lot on timing so it is difficult to explain them on here - maybe a session with one of Intelligent Horsemanships Recommended Associates (whichever is local to you) might be worth while, to show you how to do that safely. http://www.intelligenthorsemanship.co.uk/specialist-horse-training.html
Then you can build on what you learn so that you and your horse learn to trust and respect one another.
 
OP this is very common. My horse of a lifetime was an absolute brute on the ground for the first few months. He didn't like change and completely ignored my personal space, often sending me flying across the yard because we had a disagreement about where he put his head....not good! However, after six months of persevering, being firm but fair, he was practically a donkey on the ground. It was just him showing he was unhappy and that he didn't trust me. You need to decide what your boundaries are and stick to them. Where possible, handle him with another person as an extra pair of hands is often very helpful with bolshy horses. I personally would actually keep riding as a horse with too much energy will surely just be worse. Maybe you could find a groundwork book with some exercises for you both to do.
 
JillA said:
It is a vicious cycle - if you aren't confident he will worry about what he thinks might be worrying you, and the more he reacts the less confident you will get. There are a few exercises you can do that put you back into the position of leader (in his mind) and they are very effective, much better than getting cross with him because that just adds fear to the mix. Most of the exercises rely a lot on timing so it is difficult to explain them on here - maybe a session with one of Intelligent Horsemanships Recommended Associates (whichever is local to you) might be worth while, to show you how to do that safely. http://www.intelligenthorsemanship.co.uk/specialist-horse-training.html
Then you can build on what you learn so that you and your horse learn to trust and respect one another.
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OP this is really good advice, please consider having a session with one of the IH Recommended Associates they will be able to demonstrate the techniques and give you specific advice for your horse. Perfect Manners by Kelly Marks sets out the theory and exercises in writing. I also agree with other posters that have suggested stopping riding for now for a short while, concentrating on building a relationship with him; and on groundwork. Moving homes is a huge and potentially stressful and upsetting experience for any horse, and they can take quite a few months to settle down. I would also look at his feed and eliminate anything with excess energy/sugar/molasses. Mine all do very well on a good vitamin and mineral supplement (Equimins Advance Concentrate Complete) with Fibrebeet and appropriate amounts of Micronized linseed. Good luck :-)
 
In a stable enviroment, take deep breaths, square your shoulders and go in meaning business, put headcollar on, clip on leadrope and tie up, if he moves, move him back, ask for his foot, when he gives you it, praise, put down, refusal means persistance, keep bringing him back to where he was and ask for foot again, when you get it, hold for a few seconds and put it down,never let him pull his foot away and praise, anything you do, be confident, expect him to do what is asked and gently insist on it, you want him to wait for his feed, headcollar him and hold him back for a few seconds while saying "NO" or AH AH, increasing the time he waits, as soon as he waits give it to him. Want him to move over or back up, insist he do it, bringing in a NH instructor will be invaluable, but with common sense and confidence it can be done
 
I agree with Equi. I would put the sellers on notice that you are having problems a) to see whether they would be willing to have him back and b) so that you stand a chance of making them have him back if he has been missold. I would then suggest that you consider having none of the IH RAs out as they can really help you with the groundwork. I don't know what area you are in but if you look on the IH website under Horse Help there are lots of them there that should be able to get you back on the right track. They can consider feed, environment and what's happening on the ground and ridden.
 
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