I am devastated - is anyone buying youngsters?? - I might have to sell my angel :(

aimeetb

aimeetb

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I am devastated but have been really thinking these last few days about the are u putting off a family for horses, I realised I had so we decided to try for a family which I am really excited about but have had to acknowledge that we can't afford it all. My husband is great and says that I should keep her and we will wait to have children but we have a new house to pay for and work on and I am scared that we'll wait and miss the oppotunity to have them. I am so upset I have tears rolling down my face writing this, I have my perfect horse and she is growing up so well but I think I have to admit its the wrong time
 
That must be really hard for you. Unfortunately there is nothing any of us can do or say to you that will help, at the end of the day only you can make that decision.
I am sure if you do have to sell her you will make sure she has a forever home.
Why not think about loaning her? is that an option?
Hugs, chin up
Kate x
 
Talking from my own experience - I had to sell my precious boy when I settled down and I have discovered and realised that, with all the demands that family life brings, ever growing with school events, childrens club etc etc that I have realised that, at the moment, I could not and would not have the time for a horse/pony. Other horsey mums I know - pay out for shoes that are never used on their horses. Simply because they don't have the time to ride out.

I totally hate not having a horse but unfortunately my family must come first (for the time being).

I see others trying to do both but failing and get themselves stressed out! Worrying about money and then unforeseen problems arise and I must confess, I do feel, that for me, I have made the right decision. However I am counting the days until I can re-commit myself to a horse cos I truly love spending time with them.

Whatever you decide - good luck x
 
I wouldn't suggest you rush into selling her straight away - I don't have any experience with children or pregnancy, but I'm assuming that not everyone falls pregnant as soon as they try for a child? Why not wait until you're pregnant before you make your decision?

Personally, I'd go with what your husband says, and keep your horse!
 
When I got pregnant I could sell my car, as no longer had to commute, and bought a horse with the proceeds when Small Boy was born.
Your youngster will be ready to do things with when the baby is born, so sounds like good timing.
As long as you can afford both you will manage. I had a good mother-in-law and SB went to nursery one day a week and I manged a full seasons hunting...it will be fine. No need to plan in advance just play it by ear. Babies can be strapped into prams and pushchairs at yards, it didn't do mine any harm.
 
If you can afford your horse, don't sell it if you really don't want to. If its young now its pretty low maintenence at the moment and depending when you want to start a family its not impossible to do both, you just have to do things in different order ar at different times.
I kept my two when I was pregnant and have been a single parent for the last 11 years, I keep my horses on a tight budget renting grazing/stables, mainly living out all year and for the first few years I just rode when I could find childcare of some sort.
Just because you have a baby doesn't mean you are confined to homemaking!!!,and your husband sounds like he wants to help.
 
speaking from Experience it can be done horse & family but only if you are financially secure and have a good network of helpful friends and family that are willing to muck in with the bubba (or horse) - I Tried loaning my mare and it was awful i ended up taking her back at 7 months pregnant then 2 weeks later had to put her on full livery due to premature baby arriving I kept her on full livery for 2 months (costly) then when back to DIY . I have to say though shes pretty much had a year of luxury doing nothing and only now coming back into work my daughter is 1 & a half. When my daughter was a newborn i just didnt want to leave her and the older they get the quicker the babysitting offers dry up lol! Gotta say i Didnt commit the time i shoulda have to my mare when the bubba was younger but she was always cared for stabled,fed mucked out daily etc - just the riding & grooming part really suffered! But i can honestly say im glad i didnt sell her. Good luck whatever you decide its not easy xx
 
I have a 4 week old baby, a horse in full work and a 3 year old Andalusian. It's working ok so far... I am lucky in that I have a horsey husband but if yours is saying you can afford it then I would say keep her and see how it goes.

I've watched a few people over the years combine the two and I believe it can be done with support and as another poster said with finances in place (I think this depends on how much you want it to work, if you do you will manage it)

Babies do not signal the end of life as you know it, they enhance it and you just have to be able to push a pushchair and lead a horse at the same time ;-)
 
If she's too young to loan out why not have her out on grass full time until you have the means to do more with her? I'm not sure what grass livery is like where you are but around here it's really cheap! I think some of my friends with youngsters on grass livery are paying £10 a week...not sure if that's an option for you?
 
DON"T PANIC!!!! It has taken me 18 months of trying before actually getting pregnant. That was 18 months I would have lost with my horse had I sold him when we decided it was time for a family.
In my head I think I had decided I would loan horse out or sell him to a very good home only. Unfortunately another 18 months with him has made me realise I can't bear the thought of him going anywhere. I just found out last week I am expecting, 7 weeks now. My hormones have kicked in and surprisingly have made me want to be with my horse even more! OH has been really good about it, he knows how much my horse means to me and has said he will help as much as he can. He has agreed to start riding again this summer to see if he could take over from me when baby is due. We may have to move horse nearer to home and put him out to grass for a year but that won't really be a problem. I just can't bear the thought of him being sold as he is a character and not everyone's cup of tea, having had 3 previous owners when I bought him at 9. We have a real bond - it would be like selling a dog. SO we will just have to do our best... and wait and see.
 
Thank you all so much for your replies, I just cry every time I think of it, I can't imagine life without her, my husband is wonderful he is so supportive ans would give me our last penny for her to make me happy but I just feel so selfish taking so much money and I think today everything just got on top of me a bit but I have decided to take ur advice and just play it by ear, hubby is looking fora higher paid job and I am going to get a part time job 1 or 2 nights a week for now to tide us over this winter, I would regret it my while life seeing her go she might as well be my child I adore her - thank u all so much, I know sometimes this forum can be a difficult place but I can honestly say u have all helped me so much u really have and I am very grateful xxxxx
 
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