I am going to try parelli....

[jaynedoc]

There I said it...

Parelli...

probably the most disliked word here in the forum but I'll tell you why.

I am about to sell my horse he has broken my hand and destroyed my confidence...but I still love him and I really really don't want to have to sell him

He is a spooky horse and when he is being brought in is for me dangerous.

he nearly killed my 10 year old daughter (and I am not exagerating either it was the most frightening thing in my life)
when he bolted being lead in. I cannot do it anymore.

I pay an experienced person on my yard to bring him in for me and even she struggles.

I should add that in stark contrast he is never spooky or dangerous to lead when being taken out to the paddock! curious I know..

This is his only problem everything else is fine.

I have persevered for 4 months and things are not changing I have tried different things bit s, head collars etc but I mean nothing is working.

So what have I got to loose.... I have already lost my horse cause he will have to go.

This is my one last attempt and I want to keep him so much I will try anything.

So I know many of you out there will tutting at the word parelli but what if it helps... what if... what if I can keep him.
So for anyone out there who has ever tried parelli I have a question..

the behaviour I need to correct is explained in DVD 5 of the sucess series. can I do this one CD for now or do I have to start at DVD1

I realise there is not quick fix (I am not looking for one in the long term) short term I need to be in control coming in out of the field.. I guess most of you will say that it is reccommended that I satrt at DVD1... butin every thing theory is one thing practice is another...
Isit possible I can do DVD5?

many thanks

 

[Skhosu]

I absoloutely would not try and train a dangerous horse from a dvd. Get an expert to deal with him.

 

[Louby]

Never tried it so cant comment but do admit to buying the loading DVD when I was having awful problems. We did watch some of it but never tried it.
Good luck, I really hope things work out for you.

 

[Maisy]

I second getting an expert.

If you choose to try Parelli thats cool, but I would get one of the trainers (or whatever they call themselves) in to help you learn how, and help your horse learn.

I am sorry to hear that you are having such problems, and hope that you get it under control, whichever way you choose.

 

[jaynedoc]

maybe dangerous is too stonger word.

perhaps unpredictable might me better. It depends on what mood he is in he can be fine some days then all of a sudden he spooks at nothing, if you know what you are doing you can still handle him but as he is my first horse I have no confidence and this leads to him having no confidence in me which creats a circle of lack of confidence so he thinks well your not going to help me so I'm off..

 

[hadfos]

[ QUOTE ]
I absoloutely would not try and train a dangerous horse from a dvd. Get an expert to deal with him.

[/ QUOTE ]
Completely agree...due to him knocking your confidence a dvd is not going to help...you will still have confidence issues

...and things could end up a hell of a lot worse,he will know you are unsure

he needs dealing with by somebody very knowlegdable

Good luck and am sure you will make the right decision for all of you

 

[arwenplusone]

ditto the others - could you get Richard Maxwell/Kelly Marks to help you start off?

My worry for you is that Dvds are actually very hard to learn from - if you had a NH expert t hat might be a bit better for you.

I do hope you find a solution, but stay safe.

 

[SilverSkye]

I disagree you have a lot to loose, if your horse has already caused injury it could easily happen again and seriously.
I dont disagree with natural horsemanship but have an issue with parelli purely because of how commercial it has become, there are many natural horse people out there that you could try, have heard a lot of good reports on Richard Maxwell not sure where in the country you are but have heard nothing but good reports on mickey gavin as well.
Well done for seeing you have a problem that needs fixing and good luck sorting it!

 

[hadfos]

[ QUOTE ]
maybe dangerous is too stonger word.

perhaps unpredictable might me better. It depends on what mood he is in he can be fine some days then all of a sudden he spooks at nothing, if you know what you are doing you can still handle him but as he is my first horse I have no confidence and this leads to him having no confidence in me which creats a circle of lack of confidence so he thinks well your not going to help me so I'm off..

[/ QUOTE ]
Then i think you will benefit from expert help

...it is called a vicious circle and i doubt parelli will improve that at the moment...he needs firm handling to stomp on the pissin off issue...once this is in hand then you can concentrate on other things...he cannot decide 1 day he wants to be spooky and make you suffer,bad manners!!

 

[MooMoo]

This is Kelly Marks' website. There's a list of recommended associates on there all over the country.

http://www.intelligenthorsemanship.co.uk/

 

[merlinsquest]

I know you love him and want what is best for him.... but maybe what is best is a change of ownership

I cant believe that a dvd will cure him of all his dangerous ways and unpredictable behaviour

why not cut your losses before he injures someone... maybe your young daughter.

A horse can be replaced, a child cant.

Get another horse to love. One who will love you back. That way you can get on with enjoying horse ownership and not dreading it.

Sorry, not meant to offend, but parelli is rarely the answer...... unless you want to never ride him again

 

[golddustsara]

I agree with the other opinions - i really think an expert be it NH or not would be more helpful than a DVD. I know it would be expensive but trying to attempt stuff learnt from a DVD may cause more problems. Its clear you really care about the horse so I think this would be the best course of action.

 

[skewbaldpony]

Parelli is not going to work for you.
I have a cob who was where you are, and now my 11 year old daughter CAN manage him.
Why?
Because he was put in a chiffney, I led him out and in daily with a schooling whip, and no stroppy cob frightens me. I am not cruel, but after a week or three he decided he really was on a loser, and now he is safe, and loveable.
You have lost your confidence, and he has lost his - you need an expert to help you, or to sell him to someone who will not take this nonsense, I am so sorry but a dvd will not help, it will only heat things up.
Please consider getting some professional help.

 

[Chestnuttymare]

i agree with the others, get someone who has experience to help. i did with my mare and it was the making of us, great to hack, lead etc. from being a nutter. but i couldn't have started it off myself. too easy to make mistakes, which is why a lot of people have a downer on it. done properly it is a great tool.
you can't just go on to dvd 5 as you have to do the basic stuff first.
good luck.

 

[Kallibear]

Echo again what the others said about the DVD-s - they're not going to help you.

The Parelli DVD's are not designed for people with serious 'problem' horses - they are for the novice owner type who's lack of horsemanship and knowledge has lead to problems.

I however disagree with whoever said the parelli system itself won't help you. I not a fan of parelli because it's so commercialised but it DOES work. Most of the NH systems (they're all fairly similar) work if followed correctly, using common sense.

If you want to try again with your horse, have an instructor to come out and help you. Which NH horse instructor don't really matter - go with the sysytem you agree with most and make sure the instructor is good. My friend had a NH instructor out to help her work with her difficult young horse and it's worked wonders.

 

[carys220]

I agree with the others and I think this is another reason I don't like Parelli, followers think that by watching a DVD they will be able to cure their 'unpredictable' and IMO(if he's broken your hand and nearly killed your daughter) dangerous horse - this is just downright suicide!

An expert is what you need. Even just someone confident and strong enough to handle him bringing him in everyday could stop him trying it on.

 

[Box_Of_Frogs]

I'm interested in Parelli in the same way that I'm interested in a lot of alternative ways of looking at the same things, be it horses, humans, whatever. But I think everyone is right - with a difficult/dangerous horse and your confidence at an all time low, a DVD won't work. The biggest thing about Parelli and many other alternative training methods is that they work because they are founded on total confidence of the trainer and absolute consistency at all times. Neither of these things will be possible if you are afraid of the horse. For not much more than the price of a set of the DVDs, you could get Richard Maxwell down for a day and he would sort your horse out and show you how to continue the "homework". Another alternative is to ask around locally for a good local trainer who might be able to achieve the same for a fraction of the price. Be aware though that once an owner is afraid of the horse, it is hard to ever recover a reliable, tusting relationship. You might need to cut your losses x

 

[Leah3horses]

Have you tried putting the horse on calmers?Global Herbs one is very good, can make a real difference in spooky horses. Give him a week on it, he could be a lot easier to handle then with a confident, calm handler.If he is only like this when coming in (and not out, which is unusual),it does confirm that there is a serious problem in your relationship, with the confidence problems you state, and /or a problem for him with the yard or stable..has he had any bad experiences in his stable?Was he like this when you got him?Some horses when pushed with 'firm' handling can explode as they have nowhere else to go, be very careful.My gelding is horrendous in a stable, most would say he is 'nasty' and 'aggressive' but I know he feels claustrophobic and has obviously had beatings in a stable in his past that he can't forget. So he lives out and is happy, gentle as a lamb with me.

Horses don't generally take the mickey out of people to this extent, he is trying to tell you something,even if it's that he needs somebody to give him confidence with whatever is troubling him coming out of his field.How is your relationship with this horse in other areas?Is he particularly bonded to a field mate?Is there any other route out of the field you could take? Is he like this leaving all fields or just this one?If both of you are anxious it will only make him worse,as you seem to know,this is definitely a problem for a professional.Look at all the angles and ask for advice from an Intelligent Horsemanship Instructor ie Kelly Marks and colleagues.

Somebody has to try to get to the bottom of why he is doing this,in a non-confrontational way, it sounds from what you say it could be fear or panic - based behaviour.He could end up being beaten for being frightened in a different home, which could make him much worse.PM me anytime for advice or just support,I've been there but was equipped to deal with the problems,happy to help if you need it.

 

[Ezme]

Ooo reasonable talk about paralli! (I know I am a culpret in slagging it off too...)

Anyway, leading problems, I've seen alot more progress with NH type methods than paralli. Its often a question of respect and I just think NH deals with this better with specific exersizes for problems rather than a universal cure all of 7 games. They'll probs tell you to give him treats anyway...

 

[Flame_]

Send the horse away on sales livery to get sold. This is a problem that many people could handle. Don't waste time and money on NH crap IMO.

 

[BigBird146]

I would second the 'don'y buy a DVD, get an NH trainer in'. I have had one for my horse, who can be bolshy, bargy etc. I did it about 10 years ago and he is just the most lovely horse to look after now, but he's still got his sparkle and character.
I think Parelli totally overcomplicates Natural Horsemanship (aka the common sense approach) and will probably just serve to confuse you and your horse if you try and do it from a book or whatever. I spent half the summer trying to load my horse the Richard Maxwell way, then the Montry Roberts method and wasted so much bl**dy time and got so that I was hating doing anything that needed the trailer. I got a Natural Horseman in, who showed me the subtleties that you just can't learn from a book or DVD. It worked and he's been loading fine since.

 

[eoe]

The Maxwells, Roberts and Parelli all use the same techniques in principle.

I had a 12 year old mare, who I broke as a 12 year old, (when we collected her from a friend we used a broom to get her in the lorry) who would not load, we tried everything over a two year period, from leaving her in the indoor school with the food in the lorry for 3 days to blindfolds, lunge lines etc etc. In the end I got in touch with Intelligent Horsemanship who after 3 sessions and one of these was at one of their demonstrations at Unex Towerlands, this mare now loads herself and it was all done on pressure, for a year after the sessions I had to use the Dually halter, now I use a normal headcollar. IH have representatives all over the country I would try them as my first port of call.

 

[lochpearl]

try Michael Peace, he is located near Oxford, he is brilliant and he will work through it all with you so that you know what to do when you are on your own.

 

[MizElz]

[ QUOTE ]
Parelli is not going to work for you.
I have a cob who was where you are, and now my 11 year old daughter CAN manage him.
Why?
Because he was put in a chiffney, I led him out and in daily with a schooling whip, and no stroppy cob frightens me. I am not cruel, but after a week or three he decided he really was on a loser, and now he is safe, and loveable.
You have lost your confidence, and he has lost his - you need an expert to help you, or to sell him to someone who will not take this nonsense, I am so sorry but a dvd will not help, it will only heat things up.
Please consider getting some professional help.

[/ QUOTE ]

I have to say I agree whole heartedly with this. We had a mare once who was incredibly unpredictable on the ground, and although somewhat comical, her tendency to take off and drag whoever was leading her along on their knees was so dangerous, and very nearly caused me a serious injury. The chiffney - and, like the_skewbald says, a schooling whip - taught her pretty quickly how she should be behaving - at the time I was not strong, quick or knowledgable enough to deal with her myself, so we got someone in to help us. I really would advise this - it may well be that a short, sharp lesson is what he needs; on the other hand, he may have certain demons that perhaps an NH expert could straighten out for him. But either way, I dont think Parelli is the answer, and certainly not doing it DIY from a DVD

 

[amandaco2]

i would NOT try to train him from a dvd since you already have someone else struggling with him(who is experienced) and he has already injured you and nearly injured your daughter.
you say you have tried headcollars and bits etc-have you looked at feeding/turnout times and general management?does he mind being stabled?has his teeth/back/tack been checked?
i would send him away to be trained-it wont be much more/less expensive than parelli course/packs(teehee)
if this doesnt work i would sell him as he sounds too dangerous to retrain yourself.

 

[Magicmillbrook]

[ QUOTE ]
This is Kelly Marks' website. There's a list of recommended associates on there all over the country.

http://www.intelligenthorsemanship.co.uk/

[/ QUOTE ]

They are deffo worth a try. We had a member come out to help us, its so much better having someone actualy show you. He felt that we could manage by ourselves and was available to talk to at any time.

 

[mickey]

My horse has a reputation for being aggressive in his stable and when I first owned him he had no respect for me at all.
I got one of the Monty Roberts associates out to help me. It was interesting, because after just a minute in his stable she had him relaxed and looking to her for guidance. She was in control, and he was relaxed. It really was pretty amazing to see the difference at that time.

It took me a while to get to grips with him because I was nervous around him. I now handle him with no problems and I trust him totally. We have a great relationship. BUT the thing that led to that was my mental confidence, my body language and attitude. That is really what did it, I believe. He is still aggressive in the stable with other people but not to the point where it is dangerous. It is just faces. And in every other aspect that was an issue, I have no problems.

All the while you are nervous (and I don't blame you by the way) you are giving off the wrong signals, either that he can boss you about, or if he is anxious, that things are even more scary.

I have done Parelli with my horse with good results. I still do some of the exercises now and again. I have realised however, that things could easily go wrong, and become dangerous, without expert guidance. I would never recommend working solely from the material that they send you.

IMO either the Monty Roberts or Parelli methods are good. You need to build your confidence and that will be easier if an expert has set things up for you first. Do get one out (but make sure they are affiliated to a decent organisation) and give it a go.

BTW - My horse is much better at his current yard. Look at the environment and if that could be contributing to your problems. Bear in mind how many people are handling him, and how they work with him. This is important. Everyone should handle him in a similar way ideally. You may want any staff to sit in if you get an expert out.