I am not a tramp

It's when you go to a meeting, in all your smart finery, complete with long cashemere coat. The setting is top notch mercantile splendour, with hot and cold running waiters, the country's finances is determiend in these very rooms, and you put your hand in your pocket (for why we need not know) and pull out:

One hoof pick; one half empty packet of Polos; two packets of Bute; three plaiting bands; and a fluffy assortment of hay/straw/shavings.

I wouldn't mind, but the bl00dy coat had never, ever been to the blinking blinking yard!

Ho hum.
 
MrsMozart said:
It's when you go to a meeting, in all your smart finery, complete with long cashemere coat. The setting is top notch mercantile splendour, with hot and cold running waiters, the country's finances is determiend in these very rooms, and you put your hand in your pocket (for why we need not know) and pull out:

One hoof pick; one half empty packet of Polos; two packets of Bute; three plaiting bands; and a fluffy assortment of hay/straw/shavings.

I wouldn't mind, but the bl00dy coat had never, ever been to the blinking blinking yard!

Ho hum.
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Brilliant!!! lol!!!! :D
 
horserider said:
I feel your pain. I too resemble a person of no fixed abode during the mud-filled winter.
My solution is to carry a 'good' handbag. So even if I do smell of horse pee and look as though I sleep under a hedge, I'm hoping that I'll give the impression of belonging to the eccentric upper classes.
Or maybe not.
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like:)
 
Never mind strangers, I am denied by my loving OH, who refuses to travel with me on the train in the mornings because I'm still in my breeches and smell like the bottom of a stable from riding before work.

The looks I get walking across London Bridge in the morning... And my previous boss asked me to buy some breeches other than beige coloured, because when I changed in the office in the evenings to ride in the summer, he thought at a glance that I had no trousers on!
 
There is an upside to all this of course :)

It is really easy to go home, have a shower, slap on a bit of makeup, don some jewellery and some halfway tidy clothes and people will say "Wow! Don't you brush up nicely!!" :D

No-one where I live takes a blind bit of notice, in summer the population looks as if they have stepped from the set of the Dukes of Hazzard - including lots of Daisys. Plaid shirts, work boots, hats and big trucks (with obligatory hound in the back) are totally normal. I fit right in :D:D
 
Excellent idea, I'm sure Splash clothing would come up with something....

My heart sinks when on the way home from the farm my OH says "oh I just need to pop to my parents to pick something up.."

The look the MiL gives me as I'm covered in mud and hay and bits of mane and tail... I'm sure she's thinking why couldn't her baby boy go out with someone less scruffy!
 
AMH said:
The looks I get walking across London Bridge in the morning... And my previous boss asked me to buy some breeches other than beige coloured, because when I changed in the office in the evenings to ride in the summer, he thought at a glance that I had no trousers on!
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Crikey yes I can imagine you get some looks, everyone else suited and booted for the office in their pinstripe suites and brief cases and you mincing along in a pair a beige breaches and riding boots loll....although I bet you get your fair share of admiring glances too!:D
 
Try walking into a Whitehall Government department, marble on the floor, glass walls, the whole shebang, with shavings in your hair and poop on your boots, saggy jods, sweaty from a 'you WILL damn well BEND you little sod!' battle, fumble to find your security pass among a mud-splattered bag full of clean pants, a hoofpick, a lickit bar and your riding hat, then bump into the Permanent Secretary (ie Sir Humphrey for any Yes Minister fans!) and maintain any professional credibility whatsoever...:o

Good job I left before they fired me for being a health and safety hazard really:D
 
Kenzo said:
Crikey yes I can imagine you get some looks, everyone else suited and booted for the office in their pinstripe suites and brief cases and you mincing along in a pair a beige breaches and riding boots loll....although I bet you get your fair share of admiring glances too!:D
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With an a**e the size of mine?!
 
LOL! My vice president asked for a lift to the station the other day as i was leaving the office....i had to wedge him inbetween 2 bales of shavings, a bag of feed, and all untold manner of horse muck on the seats....how embarrassing!!
 
The town nearest where I live can be a little chavvy, when getting verbal attention for my mud covered shaving haired state, I have resorted to the comment;

'Haven't you ever seen anyone whose hobby doesn't involve a park bench and a bottle of white lightening?'

(other ciders are available!)
 
Spotsrock said:
The town nearest where I live can be a little chavvy, when getting verbal attention for my mud covered shaving haired state, I have resorted to the comment;

'Haven't you ever seen anyone whose hobby doesn't involve a park bench and a bottle of white lightening?'

(other ciders are available!)
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brilliant!
 
I think you get disgusted looks more than you used to people seem less tolerant the problem is it's so normal for me to look like that I no longer notice until I see someone looking sideways at me or when you begin to warm up and you smell it yourself at that stage it must be pretty bad for non horse people.
At the garage this woman in the queue to pay was looking down her nose at me when I was looking particularly scruffy ( even for me) we came out from paying at the same time you should have seen her face when I got into the car, I had the OH's car a brand new top of the range rang rover I am so thick it look me several minutes to work out why she was giving me funny looks usually I am driving an old land rover defender known at home as the kennel that matches my clothing exactly. Co-ordination in all you know!!!
 
Spotsrock said:
The town nearest where I live can be a little chavvy, when getting verbal attention for my mud covered shaving haired state, I have resorted to the comment;

'Haven't you ever seen anyone whose hobby doesn't involve a park bench and a bottle of white lightening?'

(other ciders are available!)
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Absolutely brilliant !
 
I can home one way which takes me past a very dodgy estate so if I stop at a shop or garage chances are I'll look and smell better than the normal customers anyway........:p
 
I once told I smell, and I could SMELL Cigarettes on the person standing behind me Complaining Retorted with yes and a damm sight better than smelling of Fags.:mad:

Typical Reformed Smoker:D
 
Ha ha ha like it, yup this is me every time when we do our weekly big shop at the supermarket.

However the staff at our local chippy have got use to me stopping off for chippy tea covered in horse slobber etc and now regularly ask how the horses are, other customers however prob not so keen, LOL!
 
fine_and_dandy said:
Or by the grassy/feed/hey mushy sludge slurped across your face and neck where Bailey has decided he wants to lick you to show how much he loves you...cue looking like a tramp that has sicked on itself [I did get asked that once by FAMILY].

Sigh...why do we do this again?
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The perils of typing quickly at work and not proof reading your post in case your boss cops an eye of what you are doing...I cannot BELIEVE I put hEy instead of hAy!! Mortified!

I apologise!
 
this has made my day! some weekends when we arent busy we go to mcdees for lunch at the yard, and theres probably about 5-7 of us all go in ABSOLUTELY STINKING of horse poo and covered in mud and hair after mucking out, retrieving horses from the field, grooming, tacking up then teaching kids for a few hours. some VERY strange looks, makes it almost satisfying if you go in in a group...
 
Great thread! My favorite slogan,
"I am not a filth pot, I am owned by filthy horses"!

My little town in Ireland is filled with lots of people walking around in muck boots. Aka farmers so I don't feel out of place. I do at least hose off my Muck Boot Co boots. Makes me feel that bit sexier with the bandana on my head! Such a trend setter!

Terri

Terri
 
I went to work once with mud up the back of my trouser legs and that was from my car seat! I also quite often think I can smell wee on my hands even though I have showered and that's from the steering wheel!!

I think everyone who works in my local petrol station and supermarket think I am just incontinent
 
OMG this thread is so true,

I just popped to the chemist to pick up a few bits while stood at the checkout a snotty woman tapped me on my shoulder and said you might want to get a brush, some shampoo and some bubble bath to go with that lot... I didn't know if she was being serious or taking the mick but I just blushed and walked out desperately trying to flatten my straw filled hair and brush off the straw from down the front of me.

We need some sort of top that states this isn't how we dress on purpose.
 
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