I Can't Bring My Horse In - ADVICE NEEDED!

IMO you are too young, and don't have the necessary support/back up to do yourself or this type of horse justice. For both of your sakes, you need to quickly move to a yard, that can give you the help and support you need. Ideally to a yard which has experienced staff onsite who can assist you whenever needed, plus one that will allow you to have regular lessons, with your choice of instructor.

Sorry, probably not what you want to hear, but, in the space of a very short time you have already taught the poor mare how to behave if she doesn’t want to come in.
 
Easier said than done i know but you just need to make it clear that you are boss and try and stand your ground! Try leading from her shoulder so that when she starts napping your in a better place to be able to take control. When she does nap give her a tug on the rope and a sharp 'no' from you and hopefully she start to see that your the boss!!
Could you catch her in the field and just spend some time with her there so you can get to know her and her you!
I expect she is feeling really unsettled aswell and may just be trying it on to see how far she can push you!!
 
DragonSlayer said:
I would suggest that you and your parents have a good hunt about for another yard, where you can get the support you need, then give yourself a time-frame in which it is hoped you and your horse will better understand each other. If it's still going pear-shaped, then it might be better to cut your losses and think about selling your horse, and finding one a bit more suited to you.

Good luck!
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This and now you have let her go she will expect that to be the result every time she plays up. Even if you make it back to the yard with her I think she will be completly neurotic about getting back to her friends and will dance about like a lune. She may when not in season be better but she is going to keep coming back into season. She may get better when in season too but at first she will be a nightmare to bring in. If you were my child I would not let you near this horse. You are not my child but from what you have said I don't want you near it because I am scared you will be hurt. Years ago I saw a similar scenario.....non horsey parents bought inexperienced 14 yr old an ex racehorse. I knew it was a mistake. Scenario ended a week later when I was asked to come and ride the horse home as it had dumped the girl on the road and she was taken to hospital. I had begged her not to take it out alone but she wouldn't listen. Girl Ok unconscious but recovered. Horse was sold. If you are going to keep it you will need experienced help daily at fiirst. If I were you I would send it back now if you can and look for something more suitable.....take someone experienced with you to look too. Sorry I can't say anything more positive. Please be careful and good luck.
 
You do need help and support, as you have a big strong horse. If you parents do not have experience then they must arrange for someone to help you.

If you are into Natural Horsemanship you will know that the boss horse moves the other horses' feet, so if the horse is moving you around, she is being the boss at the moment and she is learning bad habits. Remember that she will have been handled by professional stable staff in the past, who wouldn't have stood for any bad behaviour, whether or not you agreed with their methods.

She needs you to provide her with leadership as she has moved into a new home where she is not certain of the rules or her status. You have to be her teacher and leader and if you don't take that role she will do it instead to protect herself.

Lots of new horses test the boundaries, simply so they find out where they stand in the herd, including the human herd. Get some help and advice and give her time to settle down.
 
ORANGEHORSE said:
You do need help and support, as you have a big strong horse. If you parents do not have experience then they must arrange for someone to help you.

If you are into Natural Horsemanship you will know that the boss horse moves the other horses' feet, so if the horse is moving you around, she is being the boss at the moment and she is learning bad habits. Remember that she will have been handled by professional stable staff in the past, who wouldn't have stood for any bad behaviour, whether or not you agreed with their methods.

She needs you to provide her with leadership as she has moved into a new home where she is not certain of the rules or her status. You have to be her teacher and leader and if you don't take that role she will do it instead to protect herself.

Lots of new horses test the boundaries, simply so they find out where they stand in the herd, including the human herd. Get some help and advice and give her time to settle down.
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so agree with this - my daughter has taken interest in our bolshy cob again and he has taken the complete mick the last couple of days - he got away with stuff with ehr and has now started beign rude with me - i have got our instructor out early sharpish to deal with it and nip it in the bud x
 
buntybaby said:
Easier said than done i know but you just need to make it clear that you are boss and try and stand your ground! Try leading from her shoulder so that when she starts napping your in a better place to be able to take control. When she does nap give her a tug on the rope and a sharp 'no' from you and hopefully she start to see that your the boss!!
Could you catch her in the field and just spend some time with her there so you can get to know her and her you!
I expect she is feeling really unsettled aswell and may just be trying it on to see how far she can push you!!
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I agree with most of what you have said but I think this mare would benefit from routine and boundaries from the get go. So no I wouldn't namby around her and spend time in the field. Taking her in to be groomed or whatever lets her know something is required of her and will start to build a routine and a bond. However, this girl needs a hand and some help before the horse decides she isn't worth respecting.

And OP, please don't start feeding treats in the field to get her attention. I know some people do it but I personally think it is asking them to play up and/or expect it.

Please persuade your Mother that you need some help now before things get too out of hand/an accident happens/the horse gets labelled.
 
Tormenta said:
I agree with most of what you have said but I think this mare would benefit from routine and boundaries from the get go. So no I wouldn't namby around her and spend time in the field. Taking her in to be groomed or whatever lets her know something is required of her and will start to build a routine and a bond. However, this girl needs a hand and some help before the horse decides she isn't worth respecting.

And OP, please don't start feeding treats in the field to get her attention. I know some people do it but I personally think it is asking them to play up and/or expect it.

Please persuade your Mother that you need some help now before things get too out of hand/an accident happens/the horse gets labelled.
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Cannot agree enough
 
OK a huge undertaking for a 13yr old, your parents i dont blame if they are unhorsey they would not know the difference between a lovely quiet type and a just off the track ex-racer, except the later normally looks more flashy.
You need to be getting some help and getting it quick, the way you are going at the moment your horse is the boss, which is a recipe for disaster.
Ok start by getting her as far as you can when she starts playing up, give a short sharp tug on lead rope and a loud sharp no, when she stops prob in shock as you are telling her off and she has got used to her own way, loads of praise and cuddles, then ask her to walk on, if she does in a good quiet manner, then turn give her a litte treat and if you want take her back to the field do, but each day progress further till you are in the yard, DO NOT tie her up and go off to get something, walk her around with you whilst you get the grooming kit, spend time just grooming.
Each day do a bit more, tie up very loosley and stay there, each day again walk a bit further away till she will tie up.
It will take ages but it is all bonding and boundaries, riding for you on this horse i think will be a long way in the distance.
It will be a long hard slog to get the mare to trust you and be ready for riding, so i would say you need to decide now, before she develops any more bad habits whether you have the time and inclination to do all this, if you are not 100% sure maybe time to look to selling her and getting a more suitable horse.
The is always option C and that is you send her away for schooling to a professional yard, and go up as much as possible to be involved in the process.
Sorry its a long post but hope it helps a bit, if you do decide to keep her a work though the issues, many on here would help i am sure
 
Is there anyone else who has a horse in or near your field? perhaps you could both bring them in together, it may make your horse more settled to begin with.
 
thanks for all the advice for my daughter. Just to answer a few points: our mare has been off the race track for three years and has been a riding horse for at least two, doing all the usual stuff. We saw her twice, rode her several times - once on the busiest country road I have ever seen - and she was an absolute lamb. We had her five-stage vetted - so if things continue, could ask vet to check blood. We bought her privately so have little chance of comeback. I will get help - I won't allow my daughter to ride - or even take her out of the field on her own till I am absolutely sure she has settled down. Thanks for your concern. If things don't improve I will do well by the horse but we'll just have to cut our losses.
 
TBH this does not sound like an ideal first horse. However it does take a while for a horse to settle into a new home so she may well improve.

You could try catching her friend and her at the same time and see if she will follow her friend quietly back to the yard where you can give her a feed to try and associate being caught and bought in with a positive association.

I would also wear a hat and gloves when handing her for safely as if she is rearing she could hurt you.
 
I would seriously consider putting her on schooling livery for a month and going to the yard daily to spend time and build a bond in a safe environment where there is no pressure and lots of professional support.
 
Forgot to point out - she is my daughter's third horse. She has been riding for seven years - so not really a newbie - but a big step up from her 14.2 pony.
 
I fully agree with the yard owner that you are nowhere near experienced to deal with a horse like this.
The mare is getting away with things because of you not knowing how to deal with it all and matters will get worse unless you get serious help in dealing with her and realise that you have to make her do what YOU want and if every time she mess around you return her to her comfort zone then the battle is lost before you start.
She is becoming more and more dangerous and you are going to be hurt without help.
 
The_Hooligan said:
Natural Horsemanship is nothing but Glorified abuse, plain and simple!
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Only considered this by the people who don't have the patience to work with it.! A lot of NH is common sense with patience added to perfect it. Most people don't have as much control over their horses as they think they do.

ChestnutStella - your horse is unsettled, she's in a new home and has no friends so she is being clingy.

Many NZ kids have off the track TB's - they are not monsters just horses that have been allowed to gallop around and 7 is not that young - she's had 3yrs off the track. I had several in my riding school and they were great. Some do tend to get a little over the top when stressed though. I use a rope halter on mine as it gives me more control.

For the first few weeks just work with her quietly in her paddock, try to use methods that she is used to as well as start teaching her 'NH' - you can spend plenty of time with her in the paddock.

Then when you have got control in the paddock you can start taking her up to the yard. I suggest that while she is misbehaving you wear a helmet when you are leading her for your own safety.
 
Sadly I agree with the people above...I'm sure its a sore point with many people watching people overhorse themselves and then the horse ends up hurt/sold to a dealer/PTS which many are I'm afraid.
After reading your other post too, it makes me more certain this horse is too much for you and your daughter - third horse or not. Even if she has ridden for 7 years, had 3 horses and is 5'9''...she is still very young for a horse like this, with little support or help around her and the horse is going to realise very quickly (and it sounds like she already has) that she can take the mickey royally and get away with it.
As I said further up there...the horse will end up scaring your daughter, making her lose confidence, making the horse more nervous and the enjoyment has gone. Cut your losses, sell the horse, get something smaller (I'm sure 15.2hh would suffice?!), more experienced and calmer before someone gets hurt.
K x
 
Can you not try, at least, to send her back to the person you bought her from. I realise it's a private sale but worth a phone call?? Explain the problems honestly and that you have made a dreadful mistake. You seriously could get very hurt by this horse.
 
Have seen this scenario too many times, child does well on a quiet sensible pony, parents decide she is the next Zara Philips, Mary King (insert your own star rider) buy her a horse she has no hope of dealing with, too big, too young, too hyper. I have even benefited from this scenario, having bought the current Appy from such a family, who very wisely sold the mare on after six months and the input of an instructor. The girl bought a conemara cross following the sale. They sold the Appy before she was ruined, although by this time she was ewe necked and was ridden in a dutch gag with one rein on the second ring :eek: after chiro and accupuncture that damage was reversed and the mare is doing very nicely thank you. No novice will ever ride her again and she has regained her ground manners, which I know she was taught as a youngster, having met her breeder. So for the sake of the horse and the child, this mare should be sold on before they both suffer damage.
 
Pleased to see others have suggested gloves and hat at all times.

Can you not approach your Yard Owner and ask them to allow another instructor on whilst the current one is unavailable? It seems ridiculous that you are not allowed professional help!

Also agree that taking it VERY slowly is the way to go. I too would tackle the next leading in with a steady companion as she will feel much more confident if she is not on her own. My personal way of dealing with any bad manners are a sharp "no" and making the horse step backwards a few steps. Then halt and walk on. They soon realise it is much easier to go walk forwards nicely than having to keep reversing!

I would also lead with a bridle on for now as it does give you more control and therefore more confidence.

A groom and a feed when you get her to the yard should be sufficient for a while until your daughter's confidence with her improves. Just spend some getting to know you time.

Think you need to become a horsey parent for a while and supervise your daughter. Especially as teenagers are not good at forward planning and when she successfully arrives at the yard she is bound to have forgotten to make up the reward feed, have her grooming kit to hand etc.

Finally, have you called the owners to see if she was taking any suppliments to help deal with her seasons? A general discussion about how they handled her may be good, if they know you are struggling and they care about her they may be very happy to come over and give you some tips.

Having said all of that it does sound like she is over horsed and may be better with something easier to handle.
 
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I'm afraid your YO is correct - this horse is too much for you. I have seen this kind of scenario far too many times and it always ends in disaster, one way or another.
There is a vast difference between a 14.2 pony and a 16.1 ex-racer, no matter how long it's been off the track. Why on earth do parents do this to their children?
All horses test the boundaries when they arrive in a new home, I have seen a novice adult rugby player struggle with an ex-RS 16.3 quiet Clyde mare. He was supported by a 9-stone 5'6" experienced woman who had no problems at all. What earthly chance could a novice 13yr old girl have with an big TB?
My advice is to get rid of the NH equipment,particularly the 20' line. Wear a hat and gloves, use a rope halter (like a cow halter),or a bridle and lead from the shoulder, where she can do you the least damage, carry a schooling whip and hold it in front of her, tap her chest if she starts barging. Make sure that an ADULT is present at all times.
I agree that leading her with a companion is likely to be more effective than trying to take her away from her new companions.
Although I do use treats, I would never suggest taking them into a field with several horses, that is asking for trouble - another sign of inexperience, IMO.
I think that OP and her mother need to get some truly experienced, if not professional, help asap. Or ask the vendor to take the horse back and then be very careful about the next horse that they buy. I would suggest asking an instructor to go to the next viewing.
 
You have to give your mare time to settle in.
You said yourself she was moved from stable to stable before being turned out, that coupled with being moved from her old home has left her feeling very, very unsettled.
Give her time in the field with her new mates, just bring her the other side of the gate to have a small feed, once or twice a day.
Please as others have said make sure you have an adult with you, and wear a hat and gloves.

Did the old owner use NH with her?
If not Please don't attempt to until you have her, trusting and working for you, because you may confuse her and make her worse.
If you had been brought up to speak english all your life, and then all of a sudden you were made to live and work with someone who onley spoke spanish, and shouted orders at you in the that language only, would'nt you be confused and distressed?
Think about it! Be carefull, and most of all, good luck!
 
I agree with the others unfortunately in the fact that you are overhorsed!

I am 17, have ridden for 13 years, I'm 5ft 11 but still only ride a 15.2hh

I feel safer and it's easier for me to manage

I have had a highly strung BSJA pony in the past and my mum has had horses all her life but I would still be wary about taking on an ex racer

Some ex racers are hidden gems, others can be difficult, it will taketime,

- make sure you wear a hat when leading her just to be on the safe side
- lead her on a normal leadrope rather than a 20ft line
- if when leading she steps infront of your shoulder, make her back up, this should make her respect your space
- make sure you have an experienced adult with you to help and guide you
- it will take time, remember she has just moved homes she may be stressed and anxious!
- my horse Java is normally quirky but safe and sane and he hadnt been to a show before when I took him jumping last month, he started rearing and napping to his friend whenever he couldnt see her as he didnt know where he was
- he is a lot better now and hopefully once stella has got over her settling in phase and understands where she is she should begin to settle
- remember she still doesn't really know you
- once you have built a bond she will begin to trust you
- after all she is in a new environment with new people and she is maybe feeling very nervous!
- he used to be quite bolshy now with groundwork he stops when I say "stop" and give the rope a gentle pull
-
 
KristmasKatt said:
I would seriously consider putting her on schooling livery for a month and going to the yard daily to spend time and build a bond in a safe environment where there is no pressure and lots of professional support.
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Best suggestion yet!!!:) - and I've learned this one by experience
Tb's need structure from the outset, they are generally the most sensitive of all horses, - they are absolute pains in the @rse and I would never be taken in by those looks and buy one again - lol!! Mare is telling you she can't cope with the environment, she's terrified. You said she was great when you tried her, so this is what she can be like, but only when she is relaxed.
My Tb can't cope with diy - neither can I cope with her (or even want to be anywhere near her) on diy. She is just too disturbed by the unpredictability of others' comings and goings, different feed times, different turn outs/ins. She just hoons around the field damaging herself, screaming, fretting all her weight off,wrecking the stabling and fields, alienating everyone - and when in season, she grows horns, becomes red and develops a forked tongue. I had an instructor on site and tried for 10 months, and though the instructor was BHS qualified, she was just too loud in personality. However, after moving to full livery with a professional setup and a quieter BHSAI instructor I had a different horse within one week!!

Either bite the bullet and pay expensive full livery fees at a very professional and quiet set-up for at least the next 9 months, while you persevere - or sell?
Good luck:)
 
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I don't necessarily agree that the OP is overhorsed. Plenty of great riding horses try their luck at bringing in time. This is a new combination, the horse is in a new environment which any equine would find exciting and she quickly learnt that if she played up she would be allowed back to her friends.

It might be that all this horse needs is a strong, confident adult to bring in for a week or so and take no nonsense and it will get the message equally quickly. I would treat the horse like any other, don't give her special consideration or worry needlessly about any niggles which may iron themselves out and then see where you are in a month or so. As another poster said, establish a routine and boundaries - even if it is somebody bringing her in for you each day so that you can groom her. I also think that after a couple of days settling in time, the horse should be ridden or worked in some way, especially if thats what she is used to. If you don't feel confident riding her yet (and if you do, then still make sure you have plenty of people around to keep on eye on things) then find somebody who can ride her or at least lunge her for you.

It sounds to me like the family have spent time looking for a suitable horse which irrespective of its original vocation has spent the last two years doing the job the daughter wants it for as a riding horse. Besides which, a fine 16hh TB isn't automatically more of a handful than a smaller but more substantial horse or a smart thinking, bolshy pony.

Definitely wear gloves and a hat when you are leading the horse (for the sake of confidence as well as safety) find help from an experienced adult on the yard and if possible an intructor, and of course if she is persistently dangerous to ride or handful then have a rethink. Until then, take the usual precautions but don't worry too much and get on with things as normal and hopefully you'll find that the horse follows suit. Good luck! Do you have any pictures? :)
 
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For those that think young teenagers and TB's don't go together

This is one of my young school riders 13yrs old on Huggy a race winning ex TB about 6yrs old at a local show.
HuggyBear.jpg
 
I'm not a fan of parelli but do like Monty Roberts, you may have the dually headcollar but do you know how to use it ?

Personally I think you are adding to the problem by letting her do what she wants, leading her part way then when she plays up you just turn around and put her back ? thats what she wants. If you are not able to bring her in, she is not being exercised so has excess energy, this will also add to the problem, what are you feeding ? might be wise to cut it down depending on what you are feeding.

It's not your fault the resident instructor has had a baby, you should be able to get someone in if that is the case. Can your friend lead her in successfully ? or anyone else ? just to see if its you she's taking the mick out of
 
Evelyn said:
For those that think young teenagers and TB's don't go together

This is one of my young school riders 13yrs old on Huggy a race winning ex TB about 6yrs old at a local show.
HuggyBear.jpg
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There are most definitely exceptions to the rule - I suspect the rider pictured here however had help and support when riding and the horse was not as unsettled and not bad mannered as such, but lacking in good manners, as the horse OP is talking about.
K x
 
KellysHeroes said:
There are most definitely exceptions to the rule - I suspect the rider pictured here however had help and support when riding and the horse was not as unsettled and not bad mannered as such, but lacking in good manners, as the horse OP is talking about.
K x
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The majority of teenagers in NZ who ride own TB's off the track - they are just horses and if treated just like horses the majority make fantastic all rounders. Many horses will be idiots the first few weeks in their new home - especially if a bit clingy. I think peole are tending to be rather pessimistic and discouraging.
 
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