I didnt expect horse ownership to be this hard

L

littlen

Well-Known Member
Joined
17 August 2006
Messages
830
Visit site
frown.gif
I suppose this is just a wingy post since I am so stressed with owning a horse and I am concidering giving him up, or putting him on loan or something
frown.gif
I expected owning my own horse to be fun, not like this!

I have had problems with yard politics, other liveries bitching and generally being a pain. For example, they all chip in for stuff like hay etc but wont let me because me horse eats too much (yet is an abese laminetic so this is unlikley
confused.gif
) They have their own little cliques and i dont fit into any of them.

I have problems with horse's health. He has lami and is very prone to it. I have battled with his weight and lami since day one. He even shows signs of it when in on soaked hay in the middle of winter! I was told he had never had it before and I dont really know what im doing wrong but he has flares of it regulally despite following all advice to the letter. He also has many other problems, allergies to fly bites, mud fever etc. all of which i was not informed of. He is also a weaver and has recently began crib biting (i dont know if this is new behaviour)

And then we get to the behaviour issues. He has seperation anxiety which i also wasnt told about. He wont hack alone and since I have no friends at the yard I just dont really ride. I havnt ridden for months, partly because im scared and partly because of the weather. I feel like im spending a fortune every month for nothing back, but he was a present and I gave up so much to have him, id feel like a failure if i was to just sell. I have spent hours trying to get him to like me, for him to knock me to the ground trying to get back to his friends if i dare bring him onto the yard without company, which means i cant even groom him. I have tried stabling him but he comes down with lami again (god knows how since he has nothing but soaked hay) and his vices become a million times worse.
Over the past few weeks i have also had a nightmare time with the weather, as we have been snowed in which has ment horse has turned into the demon horse as he hates being in and has come down with warm feet again and im hoping it dosent turn into anything else. I have also had to walk the 3 miles to the yard as the roads do not get gritted and to be honest im finding it a nightmare!

In winter I go to the yard, get jobs done and rush off because I just cant be bothered with the hassle of it anymore.

Does anyone else every feel like it isnt worth it sometimes. What did you do about it?
 
Move yards! They sound like a right lot of b*tches and you will be better off without them.
Stress can cause lami, so I would think it could be that is not helping. Contact the laminitis trust, you have to pay for the call but they know everything. I really would move yards, there must be a better place.
Good luck.
 
It certainly doesn't sound as if you would miss anything if you were to try a different yard. I'm always one to 'stick it out' for the sake of the horse, but you sound so down, that an improvement in you must also help your horse.

Good luck, this should be a happy time, not just misery.
 
Gosh, poor you. We all have off days, but your situation sounds horrid. I don't feel I can really give advice on much unless I know more (not trying to be nosey, but so much depends on circumstances etc).

First of all, can you change yards? I would go for that first, as having friends is what makes it all so much easier.

Also how old is your horse? If he is that lami, I would be thinking Cushings disease, which would account for the lami periods at this time of year. That is manageable with medication, which might help.

It also sounds as if your horse is as stressed as you are. Is it a big yard, and he is not coping? How long have you been there? The separation anxiety is a pain, and some horses are more prone to it, but there are things you can try. If you move yards it might make it worse temporarily, or it might help.

You say he was a present,but did you have any say in choosing him? Just wondering if he is just not your sort of horse, and selling might be an option.

It is meant to be fun after all, and you are right in that at the moment it is costing you huge amounts of time and money for nothing much in return. Hugs and sympathy, but more info on horse needed please!
 
Hi. Sorry to hear you are having such a horrible time. How long have you had this horse?
Unfortunately some livery yards are like that, we are moving Beanie on sunday for political reasons and its a big pain in the a**e.
When you say you are follwing advice, is this from your vet?
Horses can also get stress laminitus and it sounds to me like your horse is a bit of a stressy sort.
If you are unhappy at this yard, look for somewhere else.
Do you have an instructor? If so, ask them for help.
This time of the year is the absolute worst for horse owners and if you can get through it you can get through it all.
With regards to feeding him whilst he is in, give him poor quality hay and no hard feed what so ever.
Don't let the others at the yard get under your skin, you have just as much right to be there but if I were you I would look for somewhere else.
 
(((hugs))) it sounds awful and yes it is supposed to be fun. Often it is hard slog especially this time of year but the good should outweigh the bad.

It sounds as though you are battling lots of issues at once, health, stable vices and behaviour problems. Sometimes these can be related eg pain or stress related.
It sounds as though it has all come as a bit of a shock.

Firstly the weather will not last for ever so like everyone else I think all you can do is grit your teeth and push on. Once things are better weatherwise I would look at talking to your vet and the laminitis trust for some clear advice on managing your horse and his laminitis. Next I would get the help of someone for some groundwork lessons which in turn should help your ridden problems. After this I would look for a new yard!!

I know it seems all too much so break it down into manageable goals and try not to get too bogged down in yard politics
tongue.gif

Good luck
smile.gif
 
Definitely agree with Clodagh - move!

Try to find a yard with on hand instructors as you sound as though you need some help.

I feel really sorry for you but do persist and try to find some nice people to help you out.
What about finding an experienced person to ride and handle him for you and give you tips - like a sharer but someone very confident.
 
First of all I hope you feel better now you have got that lot off your chest!!
Secondly, how long have you had this horse? Did you know him beforehand, and did you move him to this yard?
It sounds like he's not very settled at all in this particular yard, is there the option of changing to a quieter one where there are less cliques and a nicer atmos? Do you have any other horsey friends who you can ask for help with him?
Hugs!!!! as its not very nice feeling left out and the weather doesn't help...... on a positive note the shortest day has been and gone!!
 
I agree move yards!
Sounds like you could do with some friendly support.
It doesn't help that this awful weather is making things a lot harder but your yard sounds horrible so i would def move.
 
[ QUOTE ]
Move yards! They sound like a right lot of b*tches and you will be better off without them.
Stress can cause lami, so I would think it could be that is not helping. Contact the laminitis trust, you have to pay for the call but they know everything. I really would move yards, there must be a better place.
Good luck.

[/ QUOTE ]

I second this advice, move yards, there are plenty out there with nice people on who will be supportive if and when you need it.
This time of year it can be so very tough. I would say dont give up yet, first step move yards, second step, do some in hand schooling in the school teaching respect, it takes time to bond and you need to take the lead. I know its easier said then done often, but I think you should give it a go, good luck.

Lastly regards the lammi, try feeding magnesium, it is a key mineral and I think if memory serves, on the laminitis website it states about it being very important for gut balance. Its cheap so worth a try for keeping his system in balance and thus preventing the lammi.
 
Suggest you find a nicer yard.

To stop him crib biting you can buy a mask that attaches to the headcollar.

Fly bites, try feeding him Garlic granules, twice the recommended dose this should stop the flies in summer.

As regards his manners try bringing him in and out with a chifney and a lung line so that he doesn't get away from you, to groom him ensure that he is tied up securely.

Speak to your vet about lami, he will be able to advise you of what to feed etc, happy hoof is a good feed as it is a chaff with pony cubes in it designed for lamanitics. You can get your hay analyised to see the sugar content.

you need to get him into a routine so he knows when its feed time and when its exercise time, if you are worried about riding him try to build up a bond lunging him in the school. Have you not got someone who is very experienced who can help you?

If a horse is bolshy and thinks he can get away with that behaviour they will play on it when he is naughty always tell him off but only smack him on his shoulder never anywhere else or this could lead to other problems.

Good luck and don't be down hearted?
 
Poor you.
You have to move yards, its bad enough struggling with lami etc without the added 'bonus' of what sounds like a yard full of bitches.
Horse ownership is hard, nothing ever seems to run smooth, something always needs paying for but the fun should out weigh this.
I would have a look arround and try to find somewhere else, where you are at least included.
Dont give up yet
 
I agree^^^
Move yards!!! you don't have to put up with that! And get an expert to check for other causes of lami cos there are many. You may find it's the yard causing a lot of his stress leading to bad behaviour/illness.
 
Unfortunately I think we have all felt the same as you at some point. Firsty I would suggest trying to find some where else to keep your horse.It is no fun being on a yard which is unfriendly. Also I would have a chat with your vet and get some good advice on managing your ponies laminitis.
You need to get a bit tougher with your pony-don't let him push you around-you push him around.You are the boss.
Chin up chuck, things can get better,the winter is always a tough time
 
Blimey, you are having an extremely rubbish time of it. As regards the ailments and various health issues, are you getting advice from a vet, so that, disregarding the other stuff, you are at least attending to his comfort and welfare needs?

Are you experienced enough to cope with everything on your own? It sounds a bit like he doesn't regard you as leader and rather wants to be with his own kind, regardless of your wishes. In fact it all sounds to have got out of hand and I'm not in the least surprised you are unhappy and demoralised.

A yard move is a good idea but ask around before you do and see if there are any people there who genuinely would give you a hand.

Winter is an horrid time of year for nearly all of us but we have the friendship of our horses and ponies to lift our spirits. Without that, horse-owning is simply a drudge and not worth it.

I do hope you find someone to help out and things improve quickly.
 
Thankyou all for your replies it has honestly helped.

I have owned him since May. This is my first winter with a horse, i must admit summer was okay since he was out 24/7 and was more chilled and i had more spare time. He is also costing a fortune in winter as he is eating me out of house and home and he is a nightmare in the stable. Due to the fact he weaves, box walks, throws tantrums and generally is a pain in the stable it can take up to an hour to muck out his stable on a morning as it is that filthy!


I looked into a sharer and I had a girl come to try him and he threw her off, i couldnt have that on my shoulders! I would love to find an instructor to help me but i have no school and he wont travel so that would make it pretty difficult to have lessons. Im also struggling money wise as i lost my job and am only working part time so would be pushing it to afford lessons every week.

Horse is 11 years old. He was tested for cushings but results were negative. I have had the vet out countless times but he just suggests the usual muzzling/strip grazing/excersise to control it. I tried all of this in summer and he still got LGL for a good month or so, he got bute from the vet for that period but isnt on it now. He regulally has flares of hot feet and soreness despite the fact nothing in his routine has changed. He is a stressy arab and puts on weight very very easily.

My yard is pretty big, about 20 or so other liveries. Its the second yard I have been on and i had to choose it as it is so close to home and is pretty cheap (about £60 a month) and all other yards around me average out at £25 a week which is alot more than now. Horse has taken months to 'settle', he has been on the yard 6 months and has only just managed to be calm enough to not jump out of his skin at every oppertunity. Last yard was alot smaller and he hated it as it meant he was on his own more often when brought in etc. It was also just as bitchy as the current yard! Its things like other liveries all offer to give eachother a hand if someone cant get up one morning but wouldnt for me.

He was a gift to me from a good friend. She rescued him from an auction and gifted him to me after a 3 month loan period. I chose to take him as she couldnt have him back and i new there was a strong chance he would end up in a bad situation with his problems. He is a lovely horse when he wants to be and i wouldnt choose another horse over him as he is fantastic when he is good! During the summer we did have a little bit of fun before the issues started and it was great!
 
You have the wrong horse. Horses and ponies which get laminitis in the middle of winter while on soaked hay are not only not fun - they are off the scale of high maintenance. Horse ownership is supposed to be fun. How long have you been struggling with the lami? If its more than two years and you still can't manage it, see if your vet will try pergolide as a last chance. If, after six months, he's doing well, great, if you still aren't on top of the lami, pts and get a new one.
 
I'm really sorry you are having to put up with that kind of behaviour at your yard. As others have said I think you should move.

Re the separation anxiety have you considered putting a stable mirror in his stable, this can help some horses.

re his behaviour, do you do any ground work with him ? I ask this because this will make him better behaved and also he should accept you as his leader which will make him more confident about leaving his mates. It will also make you more confident. Richard Maxwell has done some good books about ground work and its all straight forward no special skills required. If I can do it anyone can. He also has a forum which is really friendly.

My mare gets upset when she leaves her special mate and shouts her head off. When I first got her she also threw herself around the stable but she has got much better since I started doing ground work with her.

Re the Lammi if he's getting it in the stable with soaked hay it maybe stress related. Not teaching you to suck eggs but warm feet don't always mean lammi. I know you need to be careful/cautious with a horse that has had lammi but both my mares feet are warmer after a night in the stable than they are in the field.

Re the Cribbing, I wouldn't put a collar / bib on. He is cribbing for a reason, if he can't crib he will get more stressed.

The cause could be stress or pain from stomach ulcers. You could try an ulcer soothing supplement. Is he bedded on straw. My mare is a fatty and all her hay is soaked but I bed her on straw so that she can eat that once she finishes the hay. Not having anything to eat can also cause stress and stomach ulcers.

I would contact the Laminitis trust and have a chat with your vet. I would also be out looking for a new yard.

Take care.
 
Just read your last reply. This is a free arab you've owned less than a year? You need some help from a professional who can tell you realistically if the horse is right for you and how to get it on the right track, if its just an unsuitable horse for you, or if its a lost cause.
 
For yours and your horses sake I would sugest moving yards.

You sound stressed and your horse sounds stressed. Find a nice yard with nice friendly people and happy horses. It might be beneficial for you and your horse to try assisted DIY or part livery so that he has a nice consistent routine which is in line with other horses on the yard.

I would sugest you speek to your vet about the lami, review his diet and general managemen regime. as for the mud fever and allergy toinsect bites, these are both manageable. buy a decet fly rug for him to wear all the time from march to september and make sure you keep his legs well oiled with baby oil to help mud slip off and invest in a large tub of sudocreme to rub into sensitive areas.
 
Poor you, I agree with all the above, but what a 'friend' to have if they are leaving you in this muddle by giving you a horse, are they being supportive????
There are some lovely horses out there that could be your best friend.
 
just read your other reply... I'm a little confused... you say he is fat but eating you out of house and home? surely soaked hay at 2 % of his body weight should be ample andsmall amounts of hi-fi lite, speedi beet and or high fibre cubes should be ample?? as for the state of his bed, have you condsidered rubber mats and a small sprinkle of straw so you can just shovel it all up in the morning?

I really think he'dbenefit from being out at grass 24/7 - he obviously hates his stable and somewhere with a school where you can work him safely.
 
First of all I would move yards and give this horse-owning lark another chance. However, it isnt meant to be this miserable. Selling a horse that isnt suitable for you is nothing to be ashamed of. If you dont enjoy him then there really isnt much point in struggling on. Did you ever loan or share a horse before buying your boy? I think, from reading your post that this might be more down your line, you may get a lot more enjoyment if you dont have uie the same obligation to the horse and can have a few days off every week.

First things first though, change yards and get the help of an experienced yard owner or instructor. Set yourself a few goals as this may help you feel more accomplished everythime you conquer the small things instead of focusing on the negatives all the time.
 
Sounds like Equine Metabolic Syndrome to me...

Also doesn't sound like the right horse. In comparision, I have two horses and look after OH's, making three, and I still love going to the yard, I've spent tonight clipping for example.

A different horse would change your perspective, as would a different yard. They all have their moments of bitchyness, but you are there to see your horse first, and friends second.
 
[ QUOTE ]
You have the wrong horse. Horses and ponies which get laminitis in the middle of winter while on soaked hay are not only not fun - they are off the scale of high maintenance. Horse ownership is supposed to be fun. How long have you been struggling with the lami? If its more than two years and you still can't manage it, see if your vet will try pergolide as a last chance. If, after six months, he's doing well, great, if you still aren't on top of the lami, pts and get a new one.

[/ QUOTE ]

As much as we love them I tend to agree with the above, particulalry the fun bit, they are too expensive and time consuming to be causing you all this stress all the time.
 
You have the wrong horse. You have been given a horse that no one else wanted, that ended up in an auction as it has so many issues and you 'friend' has totally dumped him on you.

Give it back. Why pay out all this money, have all this stress? You given him a chance, it hasn't worked out, let your friend try again
 
As said by others, I would definately move yards first and foremost!
smirk.gif


When I first got my horse, it was hell on earth at the livery yard I was on - very clicky and full of "know it alls" who were unhelpful, sneaky and unfriendly with it. At one point I had most owners who owned a mare screaming that my horse wasnt gelded! Then on so many other occasions, little notes on my door that my horse was lame, but no one admitting to writing them or bringing him in
mad.gif
- I almost threw the towel in, as my mum had done - especially as the "quiet" horse we had bought became the devil incarnate ( I swear to this day he picked up the vibes from the yard! lol!)

However, i eventually found a quiet livery with just 2 other people & by God it was fabulous. I then moved to a bigger yard with better grazing after he became ill, but because the YO stood for no nonsense, it was also fab - making loads of friends and learning loads! etc
grin.gif


Now I have him on 24/7 grass livery when we moved away from the area, which is one of the best things because he is so happy and can come and go as he pleases

My advice would to change yards asap and then take it from there - there are plenty of cheap nice yards out there! I dont know which area you are in but can tell you where I was in Surrey, if any help
wink.gif
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top