I don't feel like riding anymore

GrassChop

GrassChop

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I've had a lot going on this year that took a lot of mental energy and I was only riding once a week if I could but the last few months, I haven't wanted to ride at all. I've just wanted to go and spend some time with them, brush, feed and go home again but I have forced myself to ride at least once still even if it's a short hack.

I haven't ridden for nearly 3 weeks now though and I still don't feel like it. I enjoy it once I'm out but I just can't get to that point and I don't look forward to it, I just look for excuses not to.

I know they are happy stuffing their faces in the field but I'm kicking myself for feeling like this. I'm normally riding 5 times a week during the summer and lighter evenings and I haven't done that at all this year.

I don't know if my motivation will come back. Has anyone else gone through this?
 
GrassChop said:
I've had a lot going on this year that took a lot of mental energy and I was only riding once a week if I could but the last few months, I haven't wanted to ride at all. I've just wanted to go and spend some time with them, brush, feed and go home again but I have forced myself to ride at least once still even if it's a short hack.

I haven't ridden for nearly 3 weeks now though and I still don't feel like it. I enjoy it once I'm out but I just can't get to that point and I don't look forward to it, I just look for excuses not to.

I know they are happy stuffing their faces in the field but I'm kicking myself for feeling like this. I'm normally riding 5 times a week during the summer and lighter evenings and I haven't done that at all this year.

I don't know if my motivation will come back. Has anyone else gone through this?
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Yes I went through this with a previous horse and i know of friends that have also been through this.

I used to compete SJ but was getting bored so and just couldn't be bothered to ride, all motivation had gone.

in the end i looked for a new direction and started to get hooked on dressage, started writing for judges at competitions and then became excited about schooling and finally competing. My horse was really receptive to learning and had nice paces and i managed to go from never doing any dressage to unaff elementary over a couple of years.

When my horse got injured my friend let me ride hers and i enjoyed taking part in a yard show where we had a visiting dressage judge. Photo attached.
 

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Birker2020 said:
Yes I went through this with a previous horse and i know of friends that have also been through this.

I used to compete SJ but was getting bored so in the end i looked for a new direction and started to get hooked on dressage and became excited about schooling and competing. My horse was really receptive to learning and had nice paces and i managed to go from never doing any dressage to unaff elementary over a couple of years.

When my horse got injured my friend let me ride hers and i enjoyed taking part in a yard show where we had a visiting dressage judge. Photo attached.
Click to expand...

That's a lovely photo.

I do wonder if that's part of it because there's no goal or anything. I'm just a happy hacker and last year I had a goal in mind for my horse to improve with certain things and now I just can't be bothered. :(
 
GrassChop said:
That's a lovely photo.

I do wonder if that's part of it because there's no goal or anything. I'm just a happy hacker and last year I had a goal in mind for my horse to improve with certain things and now I just can't be bothered. :(
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thank you.

Yes i think you need to set yourself a goal.

My current goal which is very far removed from competing at the moment is to just find the bottle to get back on my 'new' horse again. Ride number 16 in 10 months!

But at the back of my mind my 'real goal' is to be able to compete in a dressage test before the year is out.

If we don't set ourselves goals we have nothing to work for and nothing to chart our sucesses or failures against.

Think of one thing you'd like to acheive before next Saturday comes round. Might be a walk round the yard or down the lane. Might be a 10 minute ride in the school. See how you feel. You don't have to put pressure on yourself you can just see where it takes you.
 
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Birker2020 said:
Yes i think you need to set yourself a goal.

My current goal which is very far removed from competing at the moment is to just find the bottle to get back on my 'new' horse again. Ride number 16 in 10 months!

But at the back of my mind my 'real goal' is to be able to compete in a dressage test before the year is out.

If we don't set ourselves goals we have nothing to work about and nothing to chart our sucesses or failures against.

Think of one thing you'd like to acheive before next Saturday comes round. Might be a walk round the yard or down the lane. Might be a 10 minute ride in the school. See how you feel. You don't have to put pressure on yourself you can just see where it takes you.
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Bonny is right, if you don't want to ride you shouldn't feel guilty. I'd give my right arm to ride at the moment. I just wish i wasn't so terrified.

But when you can ride you don't and when you can't you want to, human nature! ?
 
I had my previous horse for over 30 years. I rode him for 21 years and then he had 9 years in retirement. But during those 21 years there was a break of 2 years when I didn't ride him, other things going on in my life, just didn't want to ride. I visited him twice a day, fed/groomed him, he lived out in a herd and was perfectly happy. But then I started riding him again, went on to go out to local competitions, did dressage, cross country but mainly hacking, started enjoying riding again.

You don't have to ride, just enjoy your horse and maybe one day you will feel like hopping on again but don't push it.
 
Be grateful that you can ride if you want to.Some riders are very ill and woild love to be in your position to be able to ride when it suits.,Stop the pity party and start enjoying riding again and owning a horse.
Make the most of every minute - you dont need any goals just be grateful and enjoy every moment.
 
Since I've contracted ME, my inclination to ride has detiororated sharply. Since I have ridden solidly for 70+ years, this variation is not a happy one.
I haven't ridden for three months. I've groomed, strapped, done carrot stretches.
My current goal is to be able to lead him up the nearby steep private lane. I'll obviously have to lead him back again as well! That should take about twenty minutes, and he's really good at knowing when I'm feeling a bit weak and feeble. I'll have a go at that tomorrow.
 
I feel your pain OP!
I tend to end up in the vicious circle of.... I don't want to ride... but I feel better if I ride... I really should ride... I can't be bothered...

I know realistically my boys are fine if I don't ride - however their weight is not!
So what I have found works for me is to set a goal - for example :

A fun endurance ride (have to ride to be fit for then)
An inhand or ridden showing comp. (have to be in good condition for that)
A meeting with others ie beach/forest ride (have to maintain fitness for that)

Other things that help me is making a plan such as - I can have ALL August off then in September I will ride once a week, October twice a week etc etc.

Holding myself accountable for reasons I haven't ridden. My calender at the moment has -

13th - lunged for 30 mins.
14th - hacked for 1 hour.
15th- hacked for 30 mins
16th - baby unsettled ran out of daylight
17th - hack 30 mins/practiced ride and lead in arena
18th - lunged 30 mins
19th - busy day out at night not in till 11pm no daylight left

Buying a new item also helps... new saddlecloth/hi viz etc.

These are just wee things that help me when I have or I am feeling lazy/undermotivated to ride however it is also ok just to not ride and enjoy having your horses ?
 
I also know the feeling. I lost motivation to ride my TB when I was around 20. I forced myself to go out and eventually neither was having fun so decided to retire her. I whipped her shoes off and it felt great. And she was happy.

years later I bought my current riding one and it’s been hard to find that motivation to ride still. This summer I’ve struggled with her weight and so that’s been a game changer for me. I keep myself in shape and so I want to do the same for her. (Not quite got there yet but it’s kept my motivation going) I’ve also always loved riding her so it was confusing I couldn’t get motivated.

if you mostly hack, could you arrange to go with a friend? I much prefer hacking with people and making plans to meet someone makes me get on with it. And I never regret it. ?

however if you need a break, your horse is a good weight and happy and you enjoy grooming atm then just do that. And take care of yourself.
 
I retired my 11 yr old boy a year ago due to neurological issues and have found I don’t miss riding at all. I see my boy and my elderly mini Shetland twice a day which I like. When they are both gone I don’t think I’ll get another as and when that happens. Don’t beat yourself up if you want to not ride for however long your horse really won’t mind x
 
This happened to me when I was at the last yard, was there for 8years and generally loved it, but listening to negative nellies, sitting around drinking coffee bitching about people, really started to affect me. I would avoid the times they were there and would often be there and gone by the time they were even up out of bed!
days off and if it was nice weather , I would spend it in my field on the grass with my boy, having ridden at 6 before everyone arrived and where I was out the way. Its actually shocking how people treat each other and think its ok
 
Lintel said:
I feel your pain OP!
I tend to end up in the vicious circle of.... I don't want to ride... but I feel better if I ride... I really should ride... I can't be bothered...

I know realistically my boys are fine if I don't ride - however their weight is not!
So what I have found works for me is to set a goal - for example :

A fun endurance ride (have to ride to be fit for then)
An inhand or ridden showing comp. (have to be in good condition for that)
A meeting with others ie beach/forest ride (have to maintain fitness for that)

Other things that help me is making a plan such as - I can have ALL August off then in September I will ride once a week, October twice a week etc etc.

Holding myself accountable for reasons I haven't ridden. My calender at the moment has -

13th - lunged for 30 mins.
14th - hacked for 1 hour.
15th- hacked for 30 mins
16th - baby unsettled ran out of daylight
17th - hack 30 mins/practiced ride and lead in arena
18th - lunged 30 mins
19th - busy day out at night not in till 11pm no daylight left

Buying a new item also helps... new saddlecloth/hi viz etc.

These are just wee things that help me when I have or I am feeling lazy/undermotivated to ride however it is also ok just to not ride and enjoy having your horses ?
Click to expand...

Thank you. I definitely do need to find some goals but I'm struggling to get the motivation for that too!

I've had two new Le Mieux sets recently and none of them have made me want to ride! I thought they would!

I used to spend hours scrolling through new horse things to buy and I can't remember the last time I even looked.
 
Could someone ride out with you on one of yours? Make it a social event for you?

Sometimes just being with them is enough for me. My mare was ill on and off and I hardly rode her the last few months. I missed that.
 
JumpTheMoon1 said:
Be grateful that you can ride if you want to.Some riders are very ill and woild love to be in your position to be able to ride when it suits.,Stop the pity party and start enjoying riding again and owning a horse.
Make the most of every minute - you dont need any goals just be grateful and enjoy every moment.
Click to expand...
Just because you are physically able to ride doesn’t mean that you are mentally able to ride. Saying “be grateful you can ride” really isn’t helpful. Both physical and mental blockers are debilitating and just saying “pull your socks up” is actually quite bullying
 
GrassChop said:
I've had a lot going on this year that took a lot of mental energy and I was only riding once a week if I could but the last few months, I haven't wanted to ride at all. I've just wanted to go and spend some time with them, brush, feed and go home again but I have forced myself to ride at least once still even if it's a short hack.

I haven't ridden for nearly 3 weeks now though and I still don't feel like it. I enjoy it once I'm out but I just can't get to that point and I don't look forward to it, I just look for excuses not to.

I know they are happy stuffing their faces in the field but I'm kicking myself for feeling like this. I'm normally riding 5 times a week during the summer and lighter evenings and I haven't done that at all this year.

I don't know if my motivation will come back. Has anyone else gone through this?
Click to expand...
We've had "covid", and we had an unusually hot summer. If your horses are happy, be happy yourself. Ride when you want. I gather you understand the importance of fitness for horse and rider. Chill, enjoy spending time with your equines, see what next year brings.
 
I only ride when I want to these days. Sometimes that’s only twice a year, sometimes more. My horse doesn’t care, she enjoys being in the field and going out - so it’s win win for her! We need to be kinder and gentler with ourselves!
 
If you've been forcing yourself to ride at least once a week when you don't want to it isn't at all surprising that its been put on the "chores" shelf of your brain. If your horse doesn't need the exercise then you're supposed to do it because you enjoy it, so if you don't then don't!

If you take the pressure off yourself you might find you have an itch to have a sit, but if you don't then who cares. I take just as much enjoyment dandering around with my mare just investigating things, finding an itchy spot or today just messing about in the school trying to get her to follow me at liberty as I do the trot poles and she looks at me like I'm crazy. Just enjoy spending time with your friend!
 
There's a lady at our yard who rarely rides. She just enjoys all the looking after stuff, and just being with her horse. They go on long walks together, with the horse off the lead rein when it's safe. If you don't feel like riding then don't. Just enjoying your horses is enough.
 
JumpTheMoon1 said:
Be grateful that you can ride if you want to.Some riders are very ill and woild love to be in your position to be able to ride when it suits.,Stop the pity party and start enjoying riding again and owning a horse.
Make the most of every minute - you dont need any goals just be grateful and enjoy every moment.
Click to expand...

No, I don't agree with this.

Why should a person be grateful about being able to ride? What codswallop.

ETA: EllenJay, you said it so much better than I did.:)
 
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No one says you have to ride. Enjoy your hordes for what they are - big pampered pets! You never know come spring you might have your mojo back and want to kick on and ride again. If you don't then it's no biggy! I am pretty sure your horses won't care if they are ridden or not so long as they get their food and their scratches they will be just fine.

Although I ride for a living it's amazing how at the end of a day, after sitting on 5 or 6 horses at work, I don't really want to ride my own at times. My excuse was that I have show animals. Showing does not happen in winter so I rarely rode from the end of September to April. And then if I had no shows planned for the Ridden ones it did them no harm to have a week or 2 off. If they didn't have one for the rest of the year they got the rest of the year off ? I very rarely ride just for the sake of it. And I don't really have anything of my own to ride now. The Welsh cob could easily be ridden and he was doing well last summer. Then something went wrong, don't know what. But he went from one day being spot on to the next he refused to go forward, would throw his head up, half rear then buck. His tack wasn't the problem. After a week off The physio had a look and said he was very tight all through one side. I gave him another week off after that to let everything settle. Got back on and exactly the same - hugely reluctant to move. Gave another week off, same again. Then I got busy with work and haven't sat on him since last July. He likes being a fat field pet!
 
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