I don't know what to do :(

Tilda said:
I probably haven't explained myself very well so apologies if I have been critical of anyone. Thank you for your replies they have given me something to think about.
Click to expand...

Apologies for my posts, I'm rush writing at work and responding to the post given and what I'd do in the situation.

Honestly I think your horse sounds lovely and a good lesson with your instructer with them knowing this issue may just give you the confidence of knowing you can handle it next time (which is often enough for them not to try it!)
 
Is your horse getting some amount of daily turnout? Pent up energy has to come out somewhere and I'm sure that's all that's happened here.

Your horse had nearly a month off then did this, is that right? To me that says don't be giving him time off! ETA - nope, read that wrong, sorry. That's what happens when you skim read long posts :o But I'm still with the people who say time off isn't the answer here. At the moment exercise is limited - a lot of horses limit themselves, not feeling much like playing and running around when its raining and the ground's sodden or frozen, etc. Consequently they get sharper to ride, unless you give enough work that he doesn't get too fresh.

Put a gel pad under your saddle, give him a good lunge then get on and give him some real work. He sounds like a good horse, and a good horse for you, but you have to be fair to him and make sure he's getting enough exercise to enable him to stay a good boy. :)
 
Last edited:
Personally, and having been in these situations (also have had a nasty accident that put me into resuss and then onto a high dependancy ward), I feel that riding another horse won't help your confidence. If you lose your confidence on a horse, it doesn't mean that loss is going to be present on a 'safer' horse (not saying your boy isn't safe, just a figure of speech :)). I would recommend a few things

1) please do not hack out with young horses. This potentially puts back 2 horses educations, as the younger horse is there to learn from your older horse
2) have some lessons in the school working on what you and your boy do best (whether that is jumping, dressage, fun activities that boost fitness/ trust etc) and just enjoy him for what he is
3) when you feel confident and ready to ride out of the school, have a walk/ trot (and canter if you feel confident) in an enclosed field on the land. I know this isn't always possible, but it at least means you are in a 'safe' area
4) Only when you feel confident take him on hacks, and only at a walk until you feel ready to trot/canter
5) Most importantly- do all these things on YOUR HORSE. Do not ride another horse, as it will not help your confidence when riding your boy!!!

Just don't rush yourself. In 5 days time it's been 2 years since my accident, and I still haven't cantered outside of a school yet. In fact, I've not even ridden properly since. My confidence is like yours- it's all there when everything is going perfectly well, but even a horse tripping in the school is giving me panic attacks. All of those harboured feelings and emotions come back whenever it's not going to plan.

I'm unfortunate that I do not have my own horse, but very lucky that my friends mum has a very safe section d gelding that she allows me to ride. So far I have schooled him, walked and trotted him on hacks, and ridden him in open fields (I had my accident in a very large open field). I feel extremely safe and confident on him, even when he decides to jog sideways at speed :p. However, when he trips in the school or spooks and leaps in the air, I go to complete pot for about 20 minutes. But he is slowly restoring my confidence. I still haven't got the bottle back to jump him (which is what I used to love doing before my accident, and what I was actually quite good at!) but it will come with time. The only times I have lost my confidence, is when I haven't been allowed to get back on that same horse. I will never be able to get back on the horse that I had my accident on 2 years ago, but I know I will be able to get on horses like her and get my confidence back that way. It just takes time, a lot of hard work and a lot of battling with your mind/ conscience!!

Maybe I've taken things too slow, but I certainly don't want to rush myself and ruin the hard work I've put in so far. Or worse, end up back in the situation I was in 2 years ago. If you ever need to PM someone when you just feel you need a little encouragement etc, feel free to PM. I've been there, experienced it, and know just how hard it is to get back to 'normal' afterwards.
 
Last edited:
Tilda said:
Pan it only happened today so haven't spoken to instructor and we don't know if YM can stop him she hasn't tried, she has only ridden him once and that was months ago and obviously this has all only happened this week.

It's not so much the tanking I can't cope with it's more the fact that once I stop him he is so on edge I feel like he is going to do it again and even if I move as if to get off unless someone holds him he starts trotting off. He is so scared himself and I know what I should do to calm him but I get in such a state I can't do anything but freeze and panic
Click to expand...

Sorry misread as when he was silly with you she hopped on and trotted, thought he tried it then too.

Talk all of this through when your instructer is next out. Honestly people can say all they want now and it goes straight out your head when it's happening. An instructer by your side in real-time telling you what to do so you have to listen and not go into panic gives you the confidence it's handleable.

From someone who has cocked up repeatedly and extraordinarily well... having a voice of confidence and reason next to me at the time was worth it's weight in gold.
 
Tilda. Given the seriousness of your previous injuries I really admire your courage in getting back on board:) it can't be easy when somewhere in your brain there is a voice whispering " remember what happened when the horse bolted". I ride a RS horse who is hard to stop sometimes in canter. This i can cope with as i just let him run on until he gets it out of his system. He also took off with me doing a XC course and when I dismounted my legs were shaking and I think I was very pale. The relevant point however to me and to you is neither of us fell off. Yes it was scary but the end result was ok.
Personally I would continue to ride Max but stick to trot or walk when you are out. Canter in the school still so that if he does tank off you just sit it out and experiment with ways of slowing him down. You need to feel confident that brakes will be there when you need them.
I ride a friend's horse who has run off with her and dumped her a number of times, yet he never does it with me. The difference between us is that I remain calm and quiet whereas she gets anxious and is forever predicting his next spook or misbehaviour. He seldom let's her down :rolleyes: When asked how she feels she will say ' no I'm not scared of him' or ' no, I'm not tense, I'm relaxed. But he knows otherwise and gets very tense and spooky.
You know this already because you said your YO is calm and he's ok with her.
Maybe try to practice lots of walk trot halt transitions out hacking. It's a great opportunity for schooling and getting him listening to you. Best of luck. He sounds like a lovely horse. :)
 
Look at it another way. He tanked off & his halo temporarily slipped. Even though you were clearly very tense, that will have made him worse, you still didn't injure yourself or come close to it. It's no longer fear of the unknown, you have experienced him at less than perfect & came to no harm. And if you did that once, you can do it again, so don't worry about if it might happen again. It possibly will, & you will remain unharmed just like this time. See it as a positive rather than a negative.
 
OP - do you think he was being naughty and you got scared or do you think something upset him to make him tank and then the situation got out of control because of your nerves?

Reason I ask - my gelding tanked off seemingly randomly a few times despite being as good as gold 99% of the time and not a hot fizzy type (could be nervous but not hot). I lost trust him in. Long story short, we eventually started again from scratch last spring. Started riding him, was lovely, totally different in attitude to how he was befor - much more chilled, softening nicely to my hand. Then suddenly one day it was like we were back to square one and feeling asthough he was about to tank if I so much as asked for trot. I was distraught as thought things were going really well but refused to believe he was just "not right in the head". Got back lady out - back pain!! Enough to explain his behaviour and not totally out of the blue as he'd changed fields and been hooning around.

I'm saying trust your instinct -do you think he was reacting to something or do you think he was trying it on with you? Only you can really know that as no one here was there. Were his ears forward or back? If you think he was trying it on but it scared you then I'm with those who say "man up". If you think there might have been a reason then get the back lady out and see what she says. She will also be able to offer some advice on saddle fit and whether you need to buy a new one.
 
Horrible experience, try singing to yourself from the beginning of your ride, be it in the school or out hacking, it keeps you relaxed and that transfers to your horse.
Agree with others it's pointless riding other horses when it was Max that scared you
 
Some really good points there thank you all. He is a good horse and I know he is he doesn't want to get me off he just wants to go fast. After the episode in the school I tried to take the positive but today just pushed me over the edge. I will continue to ride him in the school I will perhaps put an exercise sheet on in case he is cold but I don't think this is the reason. My instructor isn't coming for a couple of weeks but our other YM has taught me before so I will ask her to help me.

Young farmer you have summed it up exactly I don't think riding another horse will help as I won't feel nervous on them. I may take you up on that offer and PM.

I will hack quietly and with my friend on her star of a mare who will keep us calm.

Thanks again everyone I do feel
I have a little more perspective on things and will treat tomorrow as a new day!

Oh in answer to the question about turn out he is out for at least 7 hours although if I ride him this is generally shortened to about 4 (have to ride after taken son to school, but I'll try to keep that to every other day so he gets a chance to stretch his legs.
 
Reading through some good advice, he's only doing this in canter? Personally before you lose your confidence stop the cantering at the moment. If he's fine in walk & trot , stick to that for time being. Dont go out your comfort zone. When you can afford to have things checked out but until then stay in a pace you know he won't be silly in.
 
Firstly is there anything that has changed in his routine/management - less turnout, different hard feed, change in hay/haylage?

Secondly - you aren't alone in having those types feelings - so many people have the odd confidence blip/crisis - but fundamentally it sounds like you have a lovely horse and a lot of support so you WILL get over it. What really did your boy do wrong at the end of the day? He went a bit faster and felt a bit tense .... he didn't dump you, and you coped just fine. Be proud of yourself.

My advise would be to explore some of the psycological help out there - NLP/TFT type stuff. I would advise to keep riding, but with no pressure. Have an experienced person with you when you are in the scholl and hack out in Walk and trot only along with another experienced horse/rider combination.

It sounds to me that, understandably, your head is in the wrong place - you need to adress your mindset alongside taking a step back (but not stopping) your riding.
 
Sorry Ashtay I was typing and missed your post. I think he tanked I got tense and nervous and made it worse. In the school we thought he may have been spooked but definitely not today. He sounds very much like your horse though so I think I will take it back to slow and steady and see how we go. Thank you
 
I do have sympathy for you. You will be shook up and it will have brought back the horrible memories of being tanked off with from the mare. However. You must remember that this is the first ? time he's done it and he's normally a saint! These things happen, particularly at this time of year. I'd advise you gain some confidence again with an instructor and perhaps not wise to ride out with a youngster, I know my boy would probably take the opportunity to react like an arse if we did! Good luck op. Don't give up! Just take you're time and do it at your pace.
 
I agree with AM and Pan that a month off isn't the answer, but rather lessons with a trusted instructor :) My lad who is normally a dope on a rope plod has been a right little wotsit for the last 2 months, as he is every year in winter! I think most of the horses I know can be a bit silly over the winter months!
 
I understand that some horses do get a bit spicy in the winter but until this week he has been fine. He was fine when I got him on 28th Jan last year but he was quite unfit so guess not really a fair comparison. I was planning on giving him Feb off as I start my new job and wanted to concentrate on that but I will continue to ride at walk and maybe trot this month and see whether that's a good idea as I should be able to ride 4 times a week even if it's very late in the evening .
 
He might well have appeared to have gone back to normal but he probably isn't going out as long and he won't have been worked as hard as in the summer. Just something we all have to deal with and its normal! so don't worry about your nice horse going for ever. So work him in walk and trot, have some lessons, and get your confidence back. Hack out with slow chilled out horses and relax. I would also suggest, as a short term action, swapping to a much stronger bit so if he did decide to take control, he would have one short sharp lesson that showed he could not do this. I am not a fan of recommending to keep bitting up but this is different! I had a horse years ago and he would start to be like yours in winter and I actually ended up having to hack out in a pelham otherwise he would choose to amuse himself and tank when he felt like it. Come the warmer months and more work, he was back in a snaffle. It also did marvels for my confidence when I found I could stop him! You are not alone, your problem is not so rare and your concerns are fully understandable. However, these are the same issues a lot of riders face so don't feel you are on your own on this!
 
Good for you Tilda.

I'm another who's made plenty of mistakes, and been in situations where I've thought 'oh crap'. The key has always been to remain calm, and not panic.

Had a very bad fall out hunting a few years ago, which really knocked me. Great friend of mine practically man handled me back In to the saddle the next day, and took me out on a fairly fast ride (my horse was injured, so I rode one of hers), and also made me jump. Best thing thing she could have done.

Another horse of mine was fairly strong, and took a lot of getting used to when doing fast work. I often felt out of control and comfort zone when I first had him. I really had to screw up my courage to canter and gallop him initially.

But he was magnificent! And the thrill of riding him at the gallop was breathtaking, shear joy!!!!

Never got the courage to hunt him though. Just too chicken.
 
Find someone else to hack out with as a first step. Your YM knew that you had a bit of an issue with him in the school at canter, so should have said, 'we are not cantering out on this hack, it is walk and trot only'. You may have then wanted to do more and come home a bit miffed that you had a slow ride, thus wanting more. :) I also would strongly advise against having a place where you usually do anything, other than maybe walk, as the horse then doesn't get the idea that this is a 'trot' or 'canter' place. Don't despair and don't give up, you have after all overcome much worse than this.
 
Tilda i think you are braver than you think!;) You ended up in hospital in a critical state and yet you have come through that and conquered your nerves to get back on a horse !! Plus you may have had a wobbly moment when you dismounted but the fact is that you did manage to stop Max, you didn't fall off, he didn't get away from you, good things rather than bad i would say:) You are in control, you just have to believe it;)
 
Amymay not sure I'll ever be ready to gallop although I did gallop max once in the summer so who knows!

To be fair to my YM she was in tears after saying she should never have asked me to go with her (the young horse is another liveries and has been bucking when she gets left behind so YM trying to sort her and she was an angel today) but she thinks of me and Max as a confident combination (which of course we seemed before this week) and she had almost forgotten my confident issues. And I am an adult I could have said no at any point so not her fault.
 
Also look at feed....has his feed chamged? The grass was coming through last week (green poops!) so he might have had a rush of green stuff and given him abit more energy.

Agree with looking at his back, getting lessons but also try to keep in mind like is horses can and do have off days/weeks. It could be for a reason or it could be nothing just cuz he wanted a run. My appy is 99% perfect......but if he wants a run he will grab the bit in a canter a slowly start to speed up....if I sit back and really say no he will come back to me but as he does it so little when he aks(and I think of it as an ask) I let him have a leg stretch.
 
Tilda said:
Amymay not sure I'll ever be ready to gallop although I did gallop max once in the summer so who knows!

To be fair to my YM she was in tears after saying she should never have asked me to go with her (the young horse is another liveries and has been bucking when she gets left behind so YM trying to sort her and she was an angel today) but she thinks of me and Max as a confident combination (which of course we seemed before this week) and she had almost forgotten my confident issues. And I am an adult I could have said no at any point so not her fault.
Click to expand...

You are right of course about you could have said no :) BUT it is a big thing to say to someone, I really don't feel that I am up to that today, we don't want anyone to ridicule us. A friend of mine had a nasty issue when her gelding damaged her neck (long story) but it happened on a specific place on a track that she had had a couple of other incidents on. I spent a day riding to hers on the track, riding back with her and the gelding, having a coffee and then riding my mare back to hers with her on the gelding and then me riding back. She was embarassed about 'needing' babysitting, but I had a great day, making my mare go away from home on her own, back with her friend, away with her friend and back on her own :) If friend had been put under any pressure to go faster, I'm sure she would have felt obliged to!
 
Some good advice above but I'm going to suggest that you approach this from a slightly different angle.
Have some lessons on a mechanical horse, when you have go the measure of it (they can feel a bit strange), ask the instructor to change the pace without warning. The mechanical horse won't be able to run away with you but neither will it go faster when you tense up. Imo you need to practise staying calm and relaxed, whatever the horse does. I would also make sure that Max has some turnout before you ride him, so that he isn't so fresh and raring to go.
 
That might be an idea Pearl sort of come up with some strategies to get me back to calm once I am tense? I might look into that thanks!
 
Oh and good idea about the turnout too I will perhaps turn him out when I first get to the yard for a couple of hours then ride. Some really great ideas thanks everyone I am starting to feel like I might be able to do this and like a drama queen for wanting to give it all up!
 
Maybe silly question - but are you tensing up?

From your current horse and some of your previous experiences before - being tensed up could have if not caused the issue certainly contributed to it. I rode a little horse who would be so hard to ride with anyone who was tense. He would tense himself up arch his back and be a totaly numpty if the rider was tense or nervous. If you sat on him totally relaxed - he was an angel :)

Are you having lessons currently? Even just once a month or so - sometimes you just need a set of eyes on the ground watching your every move :)

I really liked one of the first posts where they said he has just been naughty and not to let it get you down - its very true.

Dont think of it as a failure - more, that you have an awesome time progressing with him ahead of you :)
 
Firsty I admire your courage for even riding ever again after a bad accident! I have to say I agree with Amy Mays advice, harsh in delivery as it sounded. If you enjoy riding, get a well trusted person/ instructor on the ground, get back on your horse as soon as possible but only walk. Walk everywhere,only trot when you want to, only canter when you feel safe. Pick your moments, don't be pressurised into doing something you don't want but try and push yourself out of your comfort zone just a tiny bit because it will give you such a buzz.

There is no law to say you have to be jumping, galloping everywhere. I love riding but I am conscious that horses are potentially very dangerous and are not machines and therefore can be unpredictable at times. I have a young family and a very tolerant husband and I do not want to put myself in hospital unnecessarily. Therefore I do not take risks - if I only walk on a hack so be it. I choose where and when I canter very carefully. I don't particularly enjoy jumping anymore so I don't, I do dressage instead. It's meant to be a hobby and fun, take small steps in rebuilding your confidence and then only do what you want. But dont spend your life making excuses for his behaviour or for being nervous it will only make you feel rubbish.

Good luck and I hope you beat your demons and start to enjoy your boy again.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top