I dont know what to do!

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Gladheon

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Sorry for the massively long first post. Ive lurked for ages, and could really do with some advice. I brought a mare at the beginning of September. She was / is supposed to be a nice safe steady ride as I wanted to move up from my kick-along cob. From the second I got her she has been a completely different horse - she came barrelling of the trailer rearing and sweating and generally freaked out. I hoped it was just the travelling, but she has just got worse. When stabled she is fine as long as she is either the only horse in the stable block, or if not the horse is the next stable along - if not she screams, box walks and generally stresses. We moved her to 24/7 turnout, but it doesn't seem to have helped any, and she is just as skittish in the field as she is everywhere else, although seems a bit better. Riding wise, she spooks at nothing, and Ok its only a sidestep, but she JOGS everywhere and I just cant deal with it anymore. She barges through the electric fence if I try and put her in a paddock on her own to get to the other ponies, but no one wants their horse to share a field with her because of how daft she is. Im scared of her, and I don't know what to do. I tried contacting some ex racehorse charities, but they are all full, and its a terrible time to be selling her, especially with the issues she has. But I daren't go on the field with her, and so am paying YO to check her over morning and night / rug changes etc. YO has suggested that maybe I should consider getting her PTS rather than let the issues escalate as trying to sell a 15year old mare from the field is going to be very difficult.
 
I have to agree with your YO It will be very hard if not impossible to sell her on. I assume she was doped up to the eyeballs when you viewed her either that or she is not coping with the change in environment at all. have you not contacted the seller?
 
NellRosk said:
What was this horse like when you tried her? Did you get her vetted to see if this is a pain issue? Have you spoke to her old owners about this?
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Try this first if no answer from this suggestions then

EffyCorsten said:
I have to agree with your YO It will be very hard if not impossible to sell her on. I assume she was doped up to the eyeballs when you viewed her either that or she is not coping with the change in environment at all. have you not contacted the seller?
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Afraid it may be this
 
I bought her from a dealer who transported her to me - upon her coming off the trailer nuts, they said she was a bit stressed but would settle down! When I tried her she was a star, calm, steady and absolutely adorable. I figured it could well be the move, new horses and all sorts, but shes not settled down at all, and id in fact say shes getting worse - which I am sure is increasing with my nervousness. She is turned out 24/7 with only hay - no other hard feed. She probably need more exercise but I daren't ride her. Her back, teeth etc have all been checked and are fine. If my instructor gets on her, she moves lovely, which tells me that its probably me rather than her :(
 
Sorry meant to say. I have spoken to the dealer about returning her, but they haven't wanted to know. They offered to swap her for anther one and "pack her off for meat" as they've said themselves she is pretty much unsellable. I don't want another one off them, as since buying her Ive heard many horror stories from them, and secondly if shes going to be PTS, I feel I owe it to her to do it here in her field where shes settled (as long as no one bothers her) rather than sedate her, box her and them do god knows what with her!
 
Well if that was their reply I would assume that they knew she was going to be trouble. If you have advert copy and can prove she has been miss sold to you then they should have to take her back, not your problem is she is unsellable by them. Was she vetted? I'd find your answers and speak to trading standards.....
 
Did you have blood samples taken at the vetting? Did you use a vet they recommended or someone you had found, and what did the vet think of her?
 
Bobbly said:
Well if that was their reply I would assume that they knew she was going to be trouble. If you have advert copy and can prove she has been miss sold to you then they should have to take her back, not your problem is she is unsellable by them. Was she vetted? I'd find your answers and speak to trading standards.....
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I agree with this. Sounds like they want to get rid. I'm so sorry OP this has happened to you
 
Only thing I can suggest is could you afford to buy or loan a companion pony to put out with her to keep her contented when in the field and then have your instructor school her on over the winter? Maybe this would help get her saleable come spring.

I would also say get the vet to check her over, and the dentist, etc. If there is a physical issue it may be fixable. Could she have fallen in the trailer on the way to you and hurt herself? Or been injured post viewing at the dealer's yard?

If schooling doesn't improve her, or/and the vet comes up stumped, then at least you will have tried. You may need to go with your YO's advice, very sorry for your situation. Good luck.
 
Definately sounds to me like they knew exactly what she is like..!!! I would follow the advice above about finding the ad and maybe seeking legal advice. Are you a Gold member of the BHS?? It's only £6.30 a month and most definitely worth the money xx
 
I didn't go to see her, I responded to a different add, and when I rode that one it did some spectacular bucks, so they showed me this mare instead. A vet from my vet practice (but not my usual vet) did a vetting on her, and she was passed as fine as fit for what I wanted her for. The dealer has basically said that I must have done something as she wasn't like that, and that if she is as I describe her, shes virtually unsellable, this they will swap and send her off. I have spoken to trading standards and am following their advice - which is why I cant currently mention the dealer name - but I will then have to return her and whilst shes a nightmare, Id be packing her off to what would appear to be a horrible future just to get my money back .. which feels a bit wrong, because sometimes shes lovely. Its just most of the time shes not.
 
I have thought about sending her off for schooling and / or looking at swapping to a busier livery yard that does exercise and they ride her in the week, and Ill do weekend, as she definitely wants more work than just an hour or 2 at weekends, but id then need to give up my cob. Hes on part loan at the minute, so id either have to up him to full loan, or sell him for her. I cant afford another horse, and the girl who shares Toby is petrified of Tia, so I cant put them in together else I loose her as well. Maybe she needs longer that 3 months to settle in. My other option is to move them to my dads and leave her over the winter to settle in and try again with the whole thing in the spring, and go back to riding Toby.
 
You say she is fine when your instructor rides her? And is she fine when your yard owner checks her in the field and changes her rugs etc? Lots of mares can act like you describe when stabled. Even settled mares. I have a block of four stables which had three horses in (two mares and a gelding). They were all really fine and settled. You could take any one away and leave any one alone, and they were all fine. Then the gelding had a sudden and severe colic and sadly had to be PTS. The two mares that were left in the block both immediately became a nightmare. You could not take one away without the other freaking out. Box walking, screaming, leaping about...It was driving us crazy. So we moved another gelding into the block and immediately peace returned. So this just illustrates how sensitive even well settled mares can be to change.

There may be nothing wrong with your mare other than she is a flighty, sensitive thoroughbred mare! It may simply be that you have overhorsed yourself. I know that doesn't help much in your current situation, but at least you may realise that some mares are just like that. As a rule I find mares take much longer to settle than geldings. You could also try her on a calmer such as Top Spec calmer, and also on a hormone supporting supplement such as chaste berry, because her mood may not be being helped by her female hormones! See if that makes a difference.
 
On first reading it sounds like a right old mess but having read your post a few times I am thinking she is doing what a lot of horses with a bit of spark will do. It is a massive shock to you after your previous horse who did not behave like that at all. The riding side sounds encouraging but of course her general behaviour has rattled you.

Can you get yourself to a different yard - somewhere where the YO will take you under their wing, find the recipe for happiness for your horse and be the buffer between you and the horse for now.

Is she just out of racing? She sounds like she needs a mix of structure, consistent handling and a large dose of not too much response to attention seekiing behaviour.

The question is - do you want to keep her if you can work it out? If not then I would try to sell her - the things you mention she is doing should not put an experienced person off, particularly if otherwise she is a nice horse.
 
I can't see any problem with the mare other than she's on the wrong yard and has a new owner who needs support.

Move her to a yard with full livery and a yard owner who understands the behaviour of a worried, genuine horse.
 
Some horses just can't cope with individual turnout. If no-one else will turn their horse out with your mare then you don't really have any choice but to turn your cob out with her. I understand that your sharer is frightened of her in her stressed state, but if you can find the key to de-stressing her it will be the best thing for you, the horse and the sharer.
 
Gladheon said:
Sorry meant to say. I have spoken to the dealer about returning her, but they haven't wanted to know. They offered to swap her for anther one and "pack her off for meat" as they've said themselves she is pretty much unsellable. I don't want another one off them, as since buying her Ive heard many horror stories from them, and secondly if shes going to be PTS, I feel I owe it to her to do it here in her field where shes settled (as long as no one bothers her) rather than sedate her, box her and them do god knows what with her!
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Try to get this any info confirmed by email or with a witness, go the court, [use trading standards].
The mare is "not suitable for purpose" they are traders and have sold taken you money, they should not use "threats", which is what they are doing, they should return your money and remove the mare.
What you absolutely must do is make a diary and put in all dates times, costs, problems etc.
Going to small claims court will not be difficult, they are taking money off innocent people. It is best if Trading Standards do it for you.
On the other hand it sounds as though she has landed up in the wrong home, needs a experienced handler and experienced rider. I would try to sell her as a project horse, cut your losses and try to get your expenses back.
 
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Have to agree with what others say... This is quite a neat trick on the part of the trader: "Oh we'll take her back and swap, but we'll have to dog her"... They rely on the fact that people are ethical and have become attached to the horse, so they won't have to take her back and get to keep your money!
Yes it's very sad that she will likely be put down but this should not drag on your conscience, but on theirs. Make 'em pony up and take her back. Why should you be further out of pocket for the euthanasia?
We went through this: we took back the unrideable horse and took SOMETHING, ANYTHING out of the paddock to do the swap. The "something anything" horse was a skinny TB with rain rot and crap feet but a sweet temperament who turned out to be a decent horse after some TLC.
 
Gladheon said:
My other option is to move them to my dads and leave her over the winter to settle in and try again with the whole thing in the spring, and go back to riding Toby.
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This. Turn her out over winter at your dad's, with a companion. If you do decide to sell, spring will be a better time to do it anyway. Or maybe she will settle and you will be able to work together! Good luck :-)
 
She does sound like a pita but some horses are just like that. Its unlucky getting one but not the end of the world, you've just got to learn to accomodate her neurosis. Get riding her, it will help her settle down. Don't be scared of her, she's just upsetting herself, crack on and try to find a yard and routine that she can get her head round. Or yeah, pts if you can't be doing with her, she doesn't have much of a value.
 
If she's thoroughbred and she is only being worked a couple of hours at weekends her surplus energy has to go somewhere. I learnt this with my thoroughbred cross. I've had to up the work, feed a completely forage based diet and bring structure to her life. That way I get 'cob Sally' more frequently than 'thoroughbred Sally'....
 
You say you've contacted some ex-racehorse charities, so I presume she is an ex-racer? how long has she been out of racing? Jogging is not unusal in an ex-racer as they don't receive much by the way of schooling.
Race-horses spend their entire career living by a strict routine that they know by clockwork. When I took on mine, he had been out of racing for a few years, but just the change of surroundings was enough to unsettle him, like yours he became a nightmare so much so that he put my OH in hospital twice by being such an a**e!
I was at the point of giving up with him as I wasn't comfortable handling/riding him but decided to keep trying, so found a brilliant trainer (Monty Roberts trained) who not only bought about a complete turn around for my horse but for me too as she taught to always 'think outside the box'. I soon learnt how to figure out why he was behaving the way he was. It may have been something that was implanted in him during his career, once I'd figured that out, I could adapt to the situation using the trainers advice and help and gradually he improved no end. He would still have the odd silly moment or two, but I can say hand on heart he was never dangerous again. Definately the more exercise he had the better it was for his sanity and that would include at least one or two good gallops a week - OK so they might have been uphill (for our sanity!) he was clocked at 37mph on one particular steep hill!
You say she is better when ridden, so it may be worthwhile investing some time and money in finding a good trainer that would help you both.
I do hope you managed to get her sorted one way or another it's a rubbish situation to be in.
 
I would either turn away at your Dads for the winter with another horse, please dont put her there alone its not natural for them to be alone, you say she is turned out alone at the moment, this could be your biggest problem I think people just dont realise what an impact this can have on some horses, I have a mare that will turn into a complete nutcase if turned out alone, she will eventually jump out to get to another horse, yet with another horse she is completly fine she also thrives on a good routine, she just does not like change and will get stressed if left in longer than normal and needs regular work, sounds like the mare you have is much the same.
Another option is move her somewhere she can have turnout with another horse and get worked regular and get her in a routine, get your instructor to help you and I am sure you have every chance of turning this mare around, when we first got Grace she was a broodmare for years just living out, so coming to us was a real culture shock and she could be a nightmare, I couldnt take my gelding anywhere without her she would try and jump out of her stable, or she would jump out the field if left alone, I now know what she needs and I can leave her alone in my yard now while I ride the other, so you can turn them around it just takes time not all horses are straight forward, my gelding will stay anywhere on his own go anywhere, you can change his day without him throwing a paddy but not all horses are like this.
 
Lots to think about thanks :)

I keep veering between PTS and at least then she doesn't potentially end up in a worse situation or attempting everything, but then I worry that its a me and her mismatch and that ill make her worse. Ive never been nervous with horses on the ground before, even when they have behaved like she is doing, but for some reason im just freaked out my her. I don't know if its the change from Toby, or ive just lost my belief in her and myself or what.

I might ring round some livery yards and price that up, as its clear this yard im on is not the right one for her, and failing that move them both to dads and leave them to winter out and see how it all looks again in the spring. If I move them to dads I can afford to maybe look at getting a little Shetland or something to keep Tia company whilst I ride Toby out, as Ill be saving on the livery costs ive got now. Downside of that is obviously its just a field so theres nowhere for me to ride Tia so she will do literally nothing for 3/4 months.
 
Gladheon said:
Lots to think about thanks :)

I keep veering between PTS and at least then she doesn't potentially end up in a worse situation or attempting everything, but then I worry that its a me and her mismatch and that ill make her worse. Ive never been nervous with horses on the ground before, even when they have behaved like she is doing, but for some reason im just freaked out my her. I don't know if its the change from Toby, or ive just lost my belief in her and myself or what.

I might ring round some livery yards and price that up, as its clear this yard im on is not the right one for her, and failing that move them both to dads and leave them to winter out and see how it all looks again in the spring. If I move them to dads I can afford to maybe look at getting a little Shetland or something to keep Tia company whilst I ride Toby out, as Ill be saving on the livery costs ive got now. Downside of that is obviously its just a field so theres nowhere for me to ride Tia so she will do literally nothing for 3/4 months.
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I think moving them to your dad's and giving her a break could do you the world of good. Save the livery money and invest in companion so you can ride Toby :) Also, this way you can save towards having her properly restarted for you next year, either to sell or keep. Winter off lets you really get to know her and focus on ground manners. As companions go, I suggest finding an older sensible type that will nanny her for you.
 
Arizahn said:
I think moving them to your dad's and giving her a break could do you the world of good. Save the livery money and invest in companion so you can ride Toby :) Also, this way you can save towards having her properly restarted for you next year, either to sell or keep. Winter off lets you really get to know her and focus on ground manners. As companions go, I suggest finding an older sensible type that will nanny her for you.
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this
 
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