I feel awful for thinking this...

AmiRobertson

AmiRobertson

Well-Known Member
Joined
28 August 2012
Messages
873
Visit site
But I am getting closer to thinking about parting with dizzy! I just don't know how much more I can take. I have had her a year and on top of over horsing myself (which I can cope with if she didnt keep on breaking so i can deal with it.) there has been the endless problems with lameness on top of her behaviour issues (doesn't load, doesn't tie up, awful for the farrier, naps severely hacking if in front I can go on) I am at breaking point after today when she has had her pain killers reduced to one a day and has started going loopy again so she is back up to double doses.
I have never had more than 4 weeks consistent work with her every time we start to get somewhere she breaks :( in the year I have had her we have never even cantered as we have to keep starting again. My confidence is in tatters.
The vet is coming again next week to do a work up and discuss ct scans and I have decided she will be happier living out.
I am having horrific guilt ridden thoughts of how much easier my life would be without her.
I have lost my job as well it could not of happened at worse time.
Going in to melt down this evening it's not good and I need to pull myself together!
 
And breath. ....

Scans, winter in the field, back on board in the spring. If there's no change have her put down.

And do not feel guilty. You are a wonderful owner to this lucky little mare. And the only thing you can do wrong for her is to sell her on.
 
So sorry to read how many problems you have all at once. Really sorry about your job. It is understandable that you are upset coping with so much going wrong all at the same time.

your horse problems do sound serious you have given it a year, does your vet have any idea if she will get better. Sorry if I have missed in previous threads what is the matter.

Sending hugs and hope things get better you soon.
 
Thank you amymay I think I maybe having the little breakdown that is well overdue. You are completely right. I have just had everyone in my ear about it. I know I could never sell her she either comes right with me or goes to rainbow bridge.

I just can not help feeling a little heartbroken a year ago this week I was so excited about her coming to me and our future together it's just devastating that we are here.
 
Realistically what difference will another 6 months make other than facing more financial hardship because of her. If you are going to turn her away, then properly rough her off on grass livery so she isn't costing too much. I don't think you should be feeling bad. Horse ownership shouldn't be this difficult.
 
Adopter we thought it was an injury to her poll. She had X-rays and no bone damage but she had been on 2 danillon a day for a month the vet asked me this week to reduce it to one a day in the last few days she has gone back to rearing when led and this constant walking backwards and forwards in her stable with her eyes popping out of her head :( the vet has made it clear it could be something else as she would of hoped of seen improvement with the painkillers reduced by now.
We have put her back on the 2 danillon and going to speak to YO this weekend about her going out with the grass liveries as she is most comfortable in the field.
This is the most recent of many things and amymay is right in that needs to be the course of action.
 
You seem to have tried so many things, and if and when you decide that it can not go on any longer you will know she has had every chance. Turning out seems a good option for now.
 
Last edited:
amymay said:
And breath. ....

Scans, winter in the field, back on board in the spring. If there's no change have her put down.

And do not feel guilty. You are a wonderful owner to this lucky little mare. And the only thing you can do wrong for her is to sell her on.
Click to expand...

Im inclined to agree here. You have done alot for this horse and you have to decide when enough is enough.
Big hugs. ..sorry you are having such a tough time :( xx
 
Aw it's so tough isn't it sometimes! I've been in a very similar situation and have decided to retire mine completely, the choice was pretty much taken out if my hands by a diagnosis of KS and another back injury.
It's almost a relief not beating myself up about riding him which I just didn't have time, company or the desire to do much of the time.
As the others have said rough her off for winter and review in the spring when things are easier and cheaper.
I am still pondering over the pts but am now happy to keep him as things are as long as he copes with winter and his various ailments.
I spent 6 years trying with this horse and its not fun. It's also too an expensive a hobby to not enjoy.
 
poiuytrewq said:
Aw it's so tough isn't it sometimes! I've been in a very similar situation and have decided to retire mine completely, the choice was pretty much taken out if my hands by a diagnosis of KS and another back injury.
It's almost a relief not beating myself up about riding him which I just didn't have time, company or the desire to do much of the time.
As the others have said rough her off for winter and review in the spring when things are easier and cheaper.
I am still pondering over the pts but am now happy to keep him as things are as long as he copes with winter and his various ailments.
I spent 6 years trying with this horse and its not fun. It's also too an expensive a hobby to not enjoy.
Click to expand...

It so tough but I take my hat off to you what a lucky horse to have you.
Thank you everyone you have helped in making me feel better about this
 
I agree totally with amymay but i also want to say please please do not be hard on self you are a good owner and your horse is lucky to be with you big big hugs x x
 
AmiRobertson said:
Adopter we thought it was an injury to her poll. She had X-rays and no bone damage but she had been on 2 danillon a day for a month the vet asked me this week to reduce it to one a day in the last few days she has gone back to rearing when led and this constant walking backwards and forwards in her stable with her eyes popping out of her head :( the vet has made it clear it could be something else as she would of hoped of seen improvement with the painkillers reduced by now.
We have put her back on the 2 danillon and going to speak to YO this weekend about her going out with the grass liveries as she is most comfortable in the field.
This is the most recent of many things and amymay is right in that needs to be the course of action.
Click to expand...

IME, horses with brain or nerve damage (as this surely sounds from your description) do not come right to any extent to be safe enough to handle and ride or be reliable enough to be safe and you have to think that it might not always be you that handles her and knows how she is so you have to be responsible in your decisions; I'm sorry.

Have you thought about thermal imaging at all which might be cheaper than scans but should tell you where the problems are which will aid your vet as to which if any treatment should be started? http://www.syncthermology.co.uk/
 
its a shame we don't know more about Diz's past history apart from her being bred to race. I still wonder if something happened in a pre training yard, perhaps skeletal/nerve/or spinal cord damage caused by some sort of injury which ended up with her sent to the Sales either b/c her behavioral issues due to pain got the better of her or it became apparent she would never be sound enough to race.
I could be wrong, it just seems odd she never progressed in to training proper. There must have been a reason.

You've taken on a lot, and you're doing a fab job. Dont beat yourself up, none of us have insumountable money for vets bills.> Dizzy's a very lucky mare to have ended up with you.
 
Maesfen you are completely right and will talk to the vet when she comes on Wednesday. She wants to see dizzy move and lunged which I will video as it will be useful to hear everyone's opinions on here.
Lula I have been trying to contact names in her passport as I believe you are right she is well bred and her sire is the coolmore stallion choisir in Australia and his fee isn't small. For her to of been imported here and wound up at sales something must of happened.
Thank you again for your support. It means a lot.
 
I am presuming this is a TB, unraced? It shouldn't be too much of a surprise that the horse wasn't sent on in training since less than 2% of all TB's foaled ever set foot on a racecourse and most owners/trainers won't pursue a no-hoper. A lot of TB's seem to have neck/back injuries, I have heard a lot of them are caused by pulling back or flipping over when young. If the horse isn't going to come right then PTS is probably the best option, but I am an unsentimental old person and not inclined to think of horses as "pets".
 
amymay said:
And breath. ....

Scans, winter in the field, back on board in the spring. If there's no change have her put down.

And do not feel guilty. You are a wonderful owner to this lucky little mare. And the only thing you can do wrong for her is to sell her on.
Click to expand...

I agree. Heartbreaking decision, but a huge part of being a responsible owner.
 
Hugs hunny.

I had four and a half years of it with my own beautiful Dizzy one.

Four and a half years of throwing all the time, money, and experts at her, to still end up losing her.

Hurts beyond belief.
 
Golly....you are having a hrad time of it:(
I don't wish to alarm you...but the whole going backwards and forwards in the stable thing with reduced painkillers...and the rearing.....reminded me of my 9 year old who was suffering with a brain tumour.....he didn't make it as he became dangerous to be with.
I wish you all the very best with your decision.
Best wishes
Bryndu
 
Thank you guys! Again people here are so lovely.

Cortez your way of thinking is actually probably the most practical way of thinking and a pinch of that won't do me any harm at all!

Serpentine yes I have to be responsible first of all for her and the others around her.

MrsMozart thank you for sharing about your dizzy! They really do steal your heart and then break it!

No alarm bryndu! I and the vet are both at the conclusion that this is more sinister now than some bruising :(
 
Nothing of use to add, besides that I am thinking of you.
It's certainly not easy but you are doing all the right things, don't be hard on yourself.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top