I feel like I just don’t fit in

I actually ran into this situation this past weekend. I took my horse out for a hack due to the lovely weather. I didn't want to take another horse/rider because I knew that I was pretty much guaranteed a peaceful time on my own, and that's what I was in the mood for. I just didn't want the variable of another horse. It had been a week and my mental/social bandwidth was low.

It was also a new trail and I wanted to see how mine did on his own.

My rides are mostly at the walk, which I know would bore some to tears. I do short bits of walk and trot if the ground permits. My main focus is on hacking being relaxing and "the best thing" to my horse so that it's something he looks forward to and enjoys. He's not the "lets gallop for awhile" type either. So finding someone with the same approach, can be a challenge too. I'm not willing to sacrifice my approach just to ride with someone else. If doesn't matter who they are.

So hacking companions aren't easy to come by, and it doesn't mean that it's YOU specifically.
 
I love to hack alone. Where I currently board my horse we only have either a little schooling arena out in the open (20x40 m) or the" great outdoors". When I go hacking it's my me time when I can forget everything else and just focus on myself and my horse and we decide how far and at what speed we go. I reckon also my current horse is a pretty bad hacking out partner because her walk is basically every one elses trot (history in harness racing , they are hot hot hot) and also I don't really feel that the other people on the yard are worth nurturing a friendship with 😅 At my former yard I had several people I got along with really well and loved hanging out with and go hacking with, but sometimes still would rather go out hacking alone instead of with their company. But I guess I'm also very unbothered by other people and really don't get out of my way to get to know people and be friendly, but is rather known as the aloof and bitchy one who always says what's on her mind. Some people love that and are the same way, some people can't stand it 🤷🏼‍♀️

My best tip is be yourself. People see through fake interest and people pleasers. If it's a larger yard give it time, you'll find a friend or two.
 
Can you get a non-horsey friend to walk out with you, or cycle? Sometimes, the horse just wants that extra on ground support for confidence. That way you are going out with a non-judgemental friend as well as working on hacking alone.
 
I've had people walk with me before. When OH does, I just trot or canter and loop back. It's not the same as someone else on a horse, but it's still someone there.

I've also had many a delightful time handwalking my horse alone. I get that's not everyone's thing, but it's a way to get out and spend time with your horse.
 
There was one person I'd hack with from another yard, because the timings worked well for both of us, I didn't have to massively change the time i was riding etc.

I never had a problem with hacking alone, because it meant I could go at the speed I wanted (I'll be honest, I loved a blast down the fields it was one of the few things I still enjoyed at that point of horse ownership)

I couldn't imagine anything more boring than spending hours walking, and would struggle if someone was nervous and flapping

I was fine chatting with the one person I did ride with but then there were times alone was just fine as I could zone out and switch my brain off!

OH would sometimes come on foot if the weather was good, I'd canter to the end of each field then wait for him

Probably my best hacks were when there were likeminded people at the yard who loved a blast too unfortunately they moved away

While we loved a blast, the person I did hack regularly with was slightly more cautious, but still up for cantering, so that was fine and mine knew he had to stay behind

He was spooky so wouldn't have been the best for leading a nervous combination

He wasn't the best at hacking alone when I got him as he'd been in an rs so was used to being behind something. Because i wanted that independence of being able to go where I wanted i worked on it, with a combination of willing foot soldiers, or if he planted i got off lead for 200m or so then got back on. The only time he tried spinning for home it was made clear to him that wasn't an option and he didn't try again, the last few years I had him you could ride with loose reins.

I'd definitely want to try and work on the ability to hack alone, even if it meant paying an instructor to work on it for you. Hacking was very important to me so it was important we could do so on our own as that was the most common occurrence, I wouldn't want to be bound to having to rely on having someone with me
 
kerrieberry2 said:
I feel your pain! there are so many people out there that just go with you when it suits them!
could you put a post on your local horsy FB pages, to see if there is anyone on a near by yard that might be interested in a riding buddy?
do you have a yard group chat, where you could post asking if anyone fancies hacking with you each weekend! then hopefully they'll see that you're keen to go out and might start asking you more often!
Click to expand...
I have tried this but sadly no
 
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