I feel like I've failed?

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FlamingPhoenix

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So I just got my first horse 3 days ago now and today it was my first time taking him out of his paddock and putting him in a stable/taking him around the indoor area. I must admit it was pretty windy and bad weather, in the stable he was going pretty bad - kicking the door, digging holes, shuffling around and just being freaked, however in the arena he was nice and relaxed after a few laps (At his old home he was completely relaxed and falling asleep almost) I know he needs to adapt considering its his first time out but I still feel as though I failed him. I won't be able to go again until Firday (It's Wednesday now) and id like to ride him if I could but its not a MAJOR priority, although apart of my problem is expecting too much and overthinking everything thats happened like, "What if he changes and I cant handle him?" "What if I cant work him and he becomes different under saddle?" Point is, how could I help him to settle in and for me to stop feeling like I failed? Even though deep down I know I haven't and am just being stupid.
 
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You haven't failed at all! He could take a few weeks even months to settle if he hasn't moved around much.
My mare is quite sensitive and took a few months to settle at my old yard. At my current one it was a day. It really can depend on how settled they feel.
I wouldn't put any pressure onto yourself to ride him, just go and spend time with him in the stable and settle him by giving him a bit of a fuss and a groom :)
 
Let him settle, but you must be positive and think about being his teacher so he feels you are a trustworthy leader. If you feel nervous and uncertain why should he trust you? So insist on good manners, be kind and fair but firm. Even if you are putting on an act!

I have friends who are dealers and they often get called in to help with problem horses. Usually the horse has no problem with them - from catching to loading to tying up to riding, simply because they approach the horse with "OK chap, I am the one who will tell you what to do" and the horses recognise this and behave!
 
Deep breaths! :)

You haven't failed him at all! My mare is always stressy the first few times in a new stable at a new yard and I have had her 6 years. Just build up a routine, he will become familiar with his new home and he will calm down. My mare does after a few weeks and she is stressy full stop! :D

Maybe just bring him in one morning if you can, leave him in for the day and just let him get used to his new surroundings.

I will say also, my own mare is a complete pest at first and worse if she see's me! She can be chilled and relaxed, then she hears my car pull up and suddenly the world is going to end because she thinks I will pander to her :p But she settles down and eventually her haynet becomes more interesting than me :D
 
I was waiting for the part where you were going to say you'd accidentally tied his lead rope to your tow bar and inadvertently made him gallop all the way home behind you without realising or something.

The horse is fine. Don't give it another moment's thought!
 
You haven't failed him at all! His whole world has changed - new owner, new yard, new paddock and new stable. He is bound to not be as relaxed as he was at his old place.

And if it was his first time in his stable it is understandable for him to be unsettled. Were any other horses in their stable and the time or were they all out? If all the other horses were out in the fields and he'd been brought into an empty stable block (unfamiliar) he might be thinking 'hey, all my friends are playing outside, why am i here? let me out!'

You need to be confident in the situations too, as he will take his lead off how you are feeling to know if a situation. He hasn't learnt that there aren't any scary monsters hiding at the yard yet!

It can take a while for horses to settle at a new yard so don't worry that he is not relaxed after a few days. I got my first horse last August, he didn't seem to take that long to settle however just after he came, something spooked him on the yard and it has taken months to get him to walk past that part of the yard calmly again. For the first few weeks he was unsure of his routine and any change stressed him, whereas now he isn't nearly as bothered as he knows me and nothing bad is going to happen if his routine changes :)

It will take him a while to fully know you and get used to everything but it will be worth it. Just be confident in what you do and if something goes wrong you haven't failed him! Spend time with him on the ground (this is what I missed out at first) and gain his trust :)
 
You definitely have not failed!
My last new horse was hideous at times for about 3 months (this was a bit extreme so don't worry it will last that long!)
The one before took a week or so and I was his groom for the previous owner so knew full well it really wasn't his correct behaviour.
New one comes in September and even though I know he's perfect, or as perfect as a horse can be I fully expect him to be unsettled and to have teething problems initially.
It takes time for them to settle and get to know a new owner and routine :)
 
The way I read it, you collected him from the field with no problems, he was a bit unsettled in the stable but you still led him into the school in control of him and he calmed down and walked round nicely. That sounds like a giant win to me. Well done!

With horses, there is ALWAYS something to be worried about. The trick is not to let it get to you. Just carry on with a nice positive, calm and cheerful attitude. If you do that, so will the horse!

Good luck, I'm sure you'll be fine.
 
In what way have you possibly failed by bringing him in, dealing with him being unsettled in a stable, and leading him around the school? Good grief, for a horse you are only just getting to know that all sounds very positive to me.

Agree with those above who say that the trick is to carry on with a positive and calm attitude. Why not do some ground work during this getting to know each other phase? It will help build the respect that you need.

Onwards, but don't rush - make sure each step is secure before moving up a level.
 
I like to ride my new horse from his old stables to his new ones as I find they settle far quicker as they do not become disorientated.
I also like to hack them out each day and get to know their surroundings.
 
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