i feel useless

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Vicki_Krystal

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some of you may remember me finding my grandad not breathing last week.

he has been in hospital ever since and dramatically went down hill today.

we have been told to take it day by day and not to get our hopes up of him coming home again.

i really dont know how to cope - im crying now and have been since i ;eft the hospital.

i also feel really selfish as i couldnt go near his bed without breaking down and because of this i couldnt talk to him while he was sleeping - i couldnt even say goodbye.

i now feel awful thinking that if he dies tonight i havnt said goodbye or told him how much i love him.

really sorry guys.

i just think writing this will help a little but now im not too sure.
 
I am so sorry to hear that you are struggling at the moment, many of us understand that it is an extreamly hard thing to deal with. He will know that you love him, I do hope that you do get another chance to say goodbye to him to stop you being so harsh on yourself.
 
I'm sure your grandad would understand why you were so upset today, hopefully you will have another chance to say a proper goodbye to him tomorrow. In the meantime send him lots of thought messages (seriously, I'm not being patronising saying that) just in case it is too late tomorrow. What does it matter you broke down anyway, he probably wasn't really asleep and would understand why you were so upset. They alway say hearing is the last sense to go when you're dying. I'm sure he already knows how much you love him, so don't worry to much about that.

All the best...
 
Really sorry to hear about this. You are very far from useless especially with how brilliant you were when you had to get him out of the bathroom. He will know how brave you were then and how much you love him without needing to hear it. (hugs)
 
hugs to you, not much you can say to a person in these circamstances, but should he pass away dont focus on the i didnts remember all the good times, and how he was,

tomorrow when you wake up if you can pop straight to the hospital and tell him you love him, so many times when people are this ill, they are still aware, and im sure hes aware that youve been there, im sure in his thoughts thats enough.
 
oh honey please don't beat yourself up over this - you are most defiantly not useless, and remember you found him in the first place and got him to the hospital. I agree with jhoward in that people who are ill normally are aware of what is happening around them, and I very much doubt that you granddad thought that you were, or are, in anyway selfish.

My Gran died in September and I don't remember saying to her that I love her
frown.gif
because it was just too hard. believe me when i say that grandparents know how we feel.

Hugs to you xxxx
 
Don't upset yourself unnecessarily over this - over all the years of happy times between you means so much more than one last goodbye. With everything you did for him I am sure he knows just how much you love him.

I hope he passes very peacefully when his time comes.

Hugs to you
 
You are far from useless, you got him to a comfortable hospital bed. He'll know how much you love him by the fact you were there, you don't need to say anything. BIg hugs and best wishes to you, your Grandad and family. xxx
 
Oh I'm so sorry for you. You were a star to have got him the help he needed, he'll know that..

How about writing him a little note and asking one of the nurses to tuck it under his pillow or into his pocket if he's wearing pyjamas or a nightshirt. Then even if he's not awake to read it he has got a bit of you with him.

Another thing you could do is to record him a short message sending your love and best wishes and ask someone else to play it for him.
 
Sending you a huge ((((hug))))

Vicki, your grandad knows how much you love him so dont beat yourself up over this..... It will become easier to say goodbye as the days pass by.... although, the ultimate might not happen for weeks or even months, you will still have plenty of time to talk to him and tell him things about your day etc.....
Everything is rather raw at the moment, but as you begin to accept what they are saying, it will make saying goodbye a little easier.
Take care of yourself. You know where I am if you need to chat, scream or shout etc. xx
 
It does get easier the more you go in to see them. Think of things to chat about, even if he appears to be asleep. As for taking it one day at a time, that is how we have been with my mum. Mum went up and down and the hospital can give no guarantees. We were told on several occasions that she wasnt going to make it and she is still here. We were also told that they will paint a black picture rather than raise peoples hopes, only to have disappointment.

I hope your Grandad is as strong as my mum! While there is life there is hope. Just keep visiting and talking to him.

(((((((((((((((((((Hugs and Healing Vibes)))))))))))))))))))))))))

DMXXXX
 
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