I got shouted at..

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frostie652

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Sorry this is long...
Out hacking my youngster yesterday and I made a bad decision, I've typed out a huge post with all the ins and outs but was very hard to follow..

Essentially I tried to give way to a motorist at a usually very quite junction to a steep single track lane, they then had to give way to another motorist, whilst they were doing that another car arrived, then another, then a moped and despite my hardest efforts to the contrary (including circling twice to try to get out of the way). I actually managed to confuse everyone/ get in the way quite alot, and had two motorists and a pedestrian inform me of this, some more vocally than others (the pedestrian told me I shouldn't be on the roads as I don't pay road tax, that I should go back to the stables, and why did I think it was okay to ride on the road anyway as it's the 21st century).

So not ever so pleasent, but perhaps justifiably so as I was in the way (however not in the way of the pedestrian at all just to clarify I wasn't mounting the pavement etc).

My girl was very good and took everything in her stride although did get a little fidgity waiting for everyone to reverse here and there to get themselves sorted as to who was going up/down the lane.

So all well and good, and my plan is next time at this junction I'll just trot straight up the hill (there is space for a horse to pass a car just not two cars to pass), let the cars sort themselves out and I can pull into a suitable passing place further up the lane to let anyone who need to get by.

However, I'm really shaken up by the incident, in 20years I've never had a bad word said to me when out hacking, then three at once! (On reflection I think as I had a caution young horse tabard on and was circling people thought I was having trouble and it was me holding up the traffic rather than who was giving way to who etc)(I'll also just be wearing plain hi Viz in future as don't find it makes a positive difference anyway).

I can be quite anxious about some things and am now dreading my next ride incase I see some of these people again!

Does anyone have advice on moving on when you know you've made a mistake?

Sorry, that was really rather long anyway!
 
We all make mistakes and in hindsight we all know we could have tackled situations differently. Don't beat yourself up, you have your plan for next time stick with it. You don't need idiots on the ground giving you stupid advice, I think I would have said "I will choose to ignore your comments thank you". Have a lovely ride out next time & brave pants on ! Good luck X
 
I try to avoid giving way if I can help it, as rude as it may sound. If I am not mistaken horses and pedestrians have right of way Vs traffic in all instances. Don't get me wrong, I do a very quick risk assessment and if me getting out of the way into a field entrance or passing place is easier and safer than the car getting out of the way I will give way.

Try not to let this put a dampener on anything, particularly your confidence. Your girl did well to keep her cool under such circumstances and you should be very proud of how she conducted herself :)
 
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Ignore the two-footed ignoramus. We have all got in a pickle at times - behind the wheel, cycling, on foot or mounted. It's just life!! You did nothing deliberately wrong and I am not sure I would have kept my temper with the pedestrian so well done you!! Look on it as a useful lesson for your horse who seems to have behaved very well compared with some members of the human race.
 
Your horse was amazing, mine would have added to the problem! Those idiot motorists don’t have a clue about the rules of the road. It would have been good if you had a camera on your helmet, that would have either shut them up or you could post the video on line to shame them.
 
It sounds as if your horse behaved better than most of the humans involved. What on earth were the drivers doing? The Highway Code explains who should give way in all situations - and a little common sense goes a long way. As above 'vulnerable road users' horse-rider/cyclists/pedestrians have right of way.
It is easy to misjudge a situation and, remember, if the 1st driver had gone, out of the way, as you expected, there would have been no problem - it's just one of those things. Try to concentrate on the fact that your youngster did so well.
 
It sounds like the only 'mistake' you made was to try and be helpful in the first place and then allowing the pedestrian and motorists to blame you, put it behind you these things happen and try to continue to be considerate to other road users even if they are plonkers at times, I would probably have told the pedestrian that he doesn't pay pavement tax and that road tax no longer pays for the roads but goes into the general pot, it has nothing to do with repairing roads.
 
Just because one road user gives way to another, it doesn't mean the other has no responsibility for their next actions (checking the road, stopping, going, reversing, whatever).

You were just an easy target for several people who have no manners. As the most vulnerable road user, they should probably all have let you out of the situation before sorting themselves out.
 
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To me it sounds like you actually only played a very small part in the situation! I witnessed almost exactly the same thing on a tight single-track road not so long ago - the only difference being there was no horserider, and the drivers got themselves into that situation all on their own ;) These things happen, and the people involved always want to blame someone else. I was mucking out a paddock at the time and watched with amusement for a while, then walked up and down the road telling which drivers to move in which order, until the road was clear. If I hadn't been there they probably would have been sitting there honking and moaning all day :D
 
you have the right to ride on the road, with an animal other road users are instructed by the highway code to behave with consideration,no one has the right to verbally attack in any incident especially when you need your concentration to sooth your animal in a traffic buildup, well done for coping.

next time it starts to build up, or you come across idiots or troublemakers, calm your horse and jump off,if it continues walk away from it, kindly inform the abusers they are being videoed and should they continue to upset the horse they will be prosecuted for road rage


your mare sounds a good girl, the situation was just something that happens, you had no control of the build up, feel pleased with yourself that you coped so well
 
little_critter said:
So what would have happened if you hadn’t have been there? Would the cars have got in a jam anyway (ie several cars in a narrow section)
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They still would have got stuck, just probably not got so frustrated

The Trooper said:
... Your girl did well to keep her cool under such circumstances and you should be very proud of how she conducted herself :)
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Thank you, she really looked after me as I was getting rather flustered and im really proud of her behavior

Pearlsasinger said:
remember, if the 1st driver had gone, out of the way, as you expected, there would have been no problem - it's just one of those things. Try to concentrate on the fact that your youngster did so well.
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Actually the first car to arrive was also he last to leave, as she pulled into the mouth of the narrow land, stopped and got out of her car (with another care behind her) to ask if I wanted leading anywhere? When I said no I was fine thank you (with a smile) she told me that actually I wasnt fine as I was causing an obstruction, so where was I going? (this is also then the helpful pedestrian decided to join in)

Thank you for your kind words everyone, I do tend to dwell on things. At the time I was pretty gobsmacked actually that they were being so rude to me and got flustered as I could think of a way for me to get us (my horse and I) out of the situation. Its only since the ride that I've realised the whole thing could've been avoided if I'd just trotted on in the first place, and that the lack of decisiveness coupled with the 'young horse tabard' probably gave the (perhaps correct) impression that I had absolutely no idea what I was doing!
 
Over the years I’ve had people deliberately honk their horns as loud as possible or rev their engine as they pass me. I’ve even had the odd person who’s had to pass me (on a perfectly normal road with plenty of space when I was just walking along normally) then stop their car, get out & start swearing at me for daring to be on the road. I’ve had people refuse to stop & nearly run their car into me because I’ve had to come onto the wrong side of the road to pass an obstruction (eg roadworks) & they’re determined they have right of way & can squeeze past even though they only appeared when I was halfway along. I’ve also had cyclists come screeching around blind bends on bridleways & have to apply their brakes rather sharpish to avoid a collision (they normally look rather sheepish when it’s pointed out that we could have been a small child). Basically there’s plenty of rude people in the world who’ll blame you for simply being there, who don’t consider other users of the roads or bridleways or who think it’s fun to try & cause an accident.

Next time it probably would be best to just trot on & let the cars squabble between themselves but your horse behaved, wasn’t bothered & you live to fight another day. Oh & as for the rude pedestrian they aren’t paying a tax for walking down the road... why should they think you should either?!
 
On a practical note, it often simplifies things to position yourself in the middle of your lane and trot on in tight situations. In this way, you behave much more predictably and a bit like a car, which helps the drivers around you to make better decisions.
 
An incident like this would be the final shove towards me getting a headcam TBH: had you had one, and pointed to it, I wonder whether if you would have received the downright inconsiderate if not dangerous behaviour from some of the other road users at the scene.

The other thing you could do, if you're ever in that situation again, is to dismount, take all the time in the world, do not be rushed!, and reassure your horse. i.e. you're saying to other road users that this is my horse and I'm going to damn well give them space and get on to ground level and walk them through it - and basically everyone else is going to have to wait. End of. If you are on foot, they will have to wait! Also, in the motorists' minds, you are then a "pedestrian". They might behave bullishly with a "posh person on a horse" but a pedestrian is coming down to their level, kind of thing. Its about YOU acting pro-actively and confidently, and taking charge of the situation at the earliest stage, and letting bolshy motorists see that you will not be hussled or hassled, neither will you let this happen to your horse - and basically your/your horse's safety - is of paramount concern.

While you're dismounted, whip your phone out of your pocket and hold it up - and start filming. If anyone comes near you and/or shouts at you, point the phone at them. This has worked for myself and friend when we've been out hacking and had someone come up behind us very close and literally sat on the horse's tails! They soon dropped back. If you are feeling really pressured by any motorist, then tell them that unless they desist from their behaviour immediately then you will be dialling 999 as you feel your personal safety is at risk.

It is all too easy to do, and I am not being critical as we've all been in situations where a lot is happening around us in a short space of time, and things are getting pressured; particularly being on a youngster doesn't help - but I rather think you perhaps needed to have had a little more "presence" and to have been a bit more "big and bold" in the situation rather than allowing other road users to pressure you and bully you! But it is easy to say this in hindsight.

The other thing that might help you, and give you the skills and confidence to be able to ride pro-actively in this sort of situation, is to consider doing the BHS Riding & Road Safety Course if you are able. This would be of help to you I think.
 
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Boulty said:
Over the years I’ve had people deliberately honk their horns as loud as possible or rev their engine as they pass me. I’ve even had the odd person who’s had to pass me (on a perfectly normal road with plenty of space when I was just walking along normally) then stop their car, get out & start swearing at me for daring to be on the road. I’ve had people refuse to stop & nearly run their car into me because I’ve had to come onto the wrong side of the road to pass an obstruction (eg roadworks) & they’re determined they have right of way & can squeeze past even though they only appeared when I was halfway along. I’ve also had cyclists come screeching around blind bends on bridleways & have to apply their brakes rather sharpish to avoid a collision (they normally look rather sheepish when it’s pointed out that we could have been a small child). Basically there’s plenty of rude people in the world who’ll blame you for simply being there, who don’t consider other users of the roads or bridleways or who think it’s fun to try & cause an accident.

Next time it probably would be best to just trot on & let the cars squabble between themselves but your horse behaved, wasn’t bothered & you live to fight another day. Oh & as for the rude pedestrian they aren’t paying a tax for walking down the road... why should they think you should either?!
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What a lovely bunch of people on this post. Really supporting the OP. This is the horse world at its finest. Ive been told to get of the f...ing road before now. People today just have no manners and just expect to jump in a car and put their foot down. Chin up OP you did fine.
 
frostie652 said:
Actually the first car to arrive was also he last to leave, as she pulled into the mouth of the narrow land, stopped and got out of her car (with another care behind her) to ask if I wanted leading anywhere? When I said no I was fine thank you (with a smile) she told me that actually I wasnt fine as I was causing an obstruction, so where was I going? (this is also then the helpful pedestrian decided to join in)
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It sounds like you weren't the obstruction. She was. Stopping her car on a singletrack lane and getting out of it to give you a hard time probably caused more chaos. What a tool.
 
Some road users these days (drivers I mean) seem to expect to get from A to B with absolutely no one else on the road at the same time and woe betide anyone to happens to ‘get in someone’s way’. Its this 21st century notion that they are more important than you and their journey takes priority over every one else’s.
I can’t fully understand what you did on your hack but it just sounded like a slight breakdown in communication betweeen all parties. So what if you were in the wrong - crikey it’s pretty impossible to go through life being right all the time. The way those lovely people reacted was totally out of order so do try to rise above it. Those people are probably pretty unpleasant people and behave that way towards everyone. So please put it out if your mind and continue doing what you enjoy.
 
Where do these idiots get the idea that "you don't pay road tax so you shouldn't be on the roads" rubbish?
It's a VED -vehicle emissions tax for want of another description and as someone else has said nought to do with the roads.
That pedestrian needs telling they should have a emissions tax on their mouth, would soon fill the government coffers up.
Well done op for holding it together, I'm not so sure I would have, I'd been off the horse to thump a few people I expect but then I am now classed as a grumpy old man :)
Oz
 
Last weekend I had the dubious pleasure of marshalling at a cycle road race (not my thing but we were the designated charity benefitting from it), and I was given the worst junction, a crossroads where a country lane was bisected by a busy Saturday morning A road. Apparently I got it because I was deemed tough enough to cope with the inevitable fallout - I was variously shouted at by stroppy cyclists, who thought they should be allowed to whiz straight over the road, and grumpy motorists, who didn't like me standing at the junction in my hi-viz holding my little red flag (I wasn't directing the traffic at all, just being there as a bright yellow hazard sign).

I came to the conclusion that most road users are nobs.
 
Brush your shoulders off. So you got in the way. It won't kill people having to wait a bit. Impatient bunch. Next time someone gives you a mouthful, smile sweetly and blow a kiss. You haven't done anything wrong.
 
Thanks everyone, I rode the same route on each of my girls tonight, we were much more assertive and encountered no issues so feeling alot better about it all now :)

I don't think anyone came out of the previous situation smelling of roses but I've got things more in perspective now, just one of those things, onwards and upwards :)
 
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