I had my old bat PTS tonight

[Leo Walker]

And I wasn't going to post, but my OH has gone to work now and I need to put this somewhere. I will apologise now for the typos, I cant see the screen properly for sobbing I know its only sad for us now, but I just cant imagine waking up tomorrow and her not getting up and following me downstairs, or not being on her spot on the sofa :'(

However I've never experienced anything like it with regards to the PTS bit. It was so peaceful and easy and she was genuinely happy to go. I've agonised over this for a few months now and I still had doubts until tonight. I know now that while I'm gutted shes not here anymore and will miss the mad old bat so very, very much, she was ready and it was time.

I rescued her from death row at the pound. She had been overlooked and had reached the PTS deadline as she was so utterly traumatised that she just crammed herself in the corner in terror. I had a fractured spine and could barely walk and definitely wasnt in my right mind but I got an SOS call so went and got her. She was a deeply traumatised dog. She used to wet herself in fear if anyone came in my house. But she came round pretty quickly, mainly thanks to my other dog being so uber cool about her being completely unhinged. Seeing him and his attitude to life and people helped her come round. She still ever completely got over what happened, but on the whole she was a happy dog and easy dog and we had lots of lovely times.

I will never know exactly what happened to her before I got her, but I do know that my poor old girl suffered so very much at the hands of people and I will never be sure if what I did for her was enough to compensate for that. I think if I could have asked her she would have said she was very happy with us and she considered me her safe place. She just wanted to be near me even if she didnt want me fussing over her. I know she loved me above anything else even if she couldnt show it like my other dog

I feel horrifically guilty about the puppy, the timing is all sorts of wrong :'( But we are going to call him Floyd in her memory and he is going to have the life my poor old girl should always have had. No one will EVER hurt him or treat him badly and he will NEVER suffer the horrors she did. No one will ever so much as raise their voice to him. He will have nothing other than positive reinforcement. He wont ever have to be frightened or hurting or cold or hungry. He will have the very best life I can give him.

I know it doesnt cancel out what happened to her before I got her, but I'm sure if I could have talked to her about it she would have been happy that I was giving another dog a lovely life.

RIP Flossie Bitches you mad old bat! I'm glad that you aren't suffering anymore and that your passing was so easy and that you were truly happy again for at least a little bit. I really hope you know how much I will miss you. A little bit of my heart went with you tonight

 

[Leo Walker]

this is her not long after I got her but after she was over the worst of the trauma and was enjoying life again. She was a beautiful girl <3

 

[LadySam]

So sorry for your loss, FC.

You gave her a great life of love, protection and comfort. She sounds like she was so content and happy with you. She was safe and loved and she knew it.

 

[poiuytrewq]

So so sorry to read this. It sounds like she was a lucky girl to have fallen on her feet with you and you can be proud of the fact you taught her love and kindness.
Big hugs xxx

 

[silv]

She was a lucky girl to end up with you. In time you will learn to live with your loss.

I love dogs apart from the fact that they don't live long enough.

Take care x

 

[Bellasophia]

Beautiful old girl,she went from death row to front row in your life.i don't think many dogs could wish for more.

 

[View]

FC, a little bit of us always goes with them.

She had a good home with you, and nobody can ever hurt or frighten her again. It's painful for us, but the right thing for them.

 

[Sandstone1]

So sorry for your loss.

 

[The Fuzzy Furry]

So hard to say goodbye, what a lovely life you gave her tho, be proud and smile through the tears xx

 

[Chiffy]

So sorry it was time for her to go. It's hard losing any of them but somehow the rescues take an extra bit of our heart. I lost one in May after nearly 16 years.
Thinking of you.

 

[AmyMay]

Oh fc I'm so sad for you. She really was a lucky girl to have found you xxxx

 

[MurphysMinder]

So sorry frankiecob, it is so hard to say goodbye to them. She had a lovely life with you

 

[MotherOfChickens]

so sorry for your loss, it really is very hard. what a lucky girl to have found you!

 

[Amye]

So sorry for your loss, it's the most difficult decision. I don't think you ever stop missing them but the days do get easier. It sounds like you did the best thing, and gave her a fantastic life after all her troubles xx

 

[Leo Walker]

Thank you for all your kind words. Its been very hard this morning to get up and not have her here. I keep looking round wondering where she is, then I remember But I do also feel relieved that she wont ever suffer again and that shes at peace now. She just hasnt been her most of the time over the last few months. We had her sedated before we took her, just ACP to take the edge off and for a little bit I had my girl back again. Her eyes were shiny and brown again instead of being pinched and half white and she was happy and interested in everything instead of angry and anxious. I'm so grateful that I got to see her like that again one last time. She went so peacefully. It was time

 

[ElectricChampagne]

so sad, but you did whats best and you gave her a great life. She was a very beautiful girl. Don't feel at anyway bad about the puppy, you're gonna give him the best chance at life possible and he will adore you for it!

big Hugs!

 

[Dobiegirl]

It is indeed very sad especially with her previous life but dogs do live in the moment and Im sure she was as happy with you as she could be, you have obviously shown yourself to be a very caring dedicated owner whose dog truly loved her so take comfort from that as you did an excellent job.

 

[smja]

I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you did the thing by her since the moment you met.

 

[nutrock]

What a beautiful post FC! She was indeed very lucky to have found you and been happy for the remainder of her life. I am glad that it was peaceful for you both at the end xx

 

[Moobli]

Saying that final goodbye is the absolute worst part of sharing our lives with these incredible creatures. My heart breaks for you FC, but you gave her a wonderful life and you must try to focus on the good memories you created together. The loving home you provided will definitely have helped cancel out the bad start she suffered.

She was a beautiful dog.

 

[Fiona]

I'm so sorry for your loss FC

Big hugs x x

Fiona

 

[PucciNPoni]

So very sorry for your loss. You had many good times with her and THAT is what hopefully in her mind cancelled out the bad stuff before. Your new pup is a separate event, not one because of the other. Hugs xx

 

[Tyssandi]

Sorry for your loss FC she was lucky to have found you


Rip little one

 

[1life]

The hardest decision that a responsible pet owner will ever have to make but you did the best by her for as long as she was under your care. Smile at the memories, and sob when you need to. x

 

[Jingleballs]

So sorry - she was a beauty! I'm sure she knew how loved she was and how lucky to have you!