I have a dilemma

[J_sarahd]

I am perhaps taking a risk by posting this here but I need people’s help. I know ultimately it’s my decision, but I would like people’s opinions please.

Basically, I’m moving in with my boyfriend sometime before the end of the year, which is exciting etc. Only problem is, my pony is currently liveried 26 miles away from his. This is fine every so often, but as I ride him 4/5 times a week, this stacks up to 200+ extra miles a week, which is expensive. I love this yard. I have friends here, access to transport, a good routine, close to big venues like Vale View. I’ve tried looking for someone to part loan him, but nobody who has enquired as been suitable yet. I don’t want all my hard work on him undone, as I’d still be riding occasionally.

We found a lovely yard nearby, it’s like a 4 minute drive away. It has a massive school, lots of storage, big stables. It’s a similar price to where we are now. I’m just so anxious because it would mean a new routine, possibly no access to transport, I don’t know where they go for xc/show jumping, my instructor says she’ll come that way but it’s gonna make my lessons a lot more expensive. I really get on with everyone at the current yard, and I’m worried I won’t find new friends at the new place.

I think I know what is right for both of us, but I just need other people’s opinions please.

 

[Lots of Gift Bags]

I'd move, and if you don't like it, there's always the possibility to return.

 

[Equi]

Yards are what you make them. Moving in will already be quite a stresser for you and the travel may aggravate that more when you start to feel the pressure of time and money. I’d move now while you still have time to settle there before moving in with bf. it’ll be fine

 

[Wheels]

Move, you will make new friends, find new professional help etc etc but you will never get back the hours you spend in the car going back and forth to the old yard

 

[meleeka]

I can’t see how staying where you are is doable long term. I think I’m your shoes I’d move in with the boyfriend first and then think about yards after that. The best option may we’ll be clearer when you are settled and making the trip every day.

 

[Pedantic]

Move yards

 

[Gingerwitch]

How long will 26 miles take you to drive ? I put an hour max commute either work to horses or home to horses. We struggle for good yards in my area, eg all year turn. I had moved mine 15 mins from home but yard dud not handle c19 very well, so I moved back to my old yard.
I may be moving again to the Congleton area for work for 12 months, but may leave them where they currently are as it's one less worry. I listen to audio books and try to turn the travel time into me time, rather than be negative. I do miss seeing mine before and after work now, but it is what it is currently.
Good luck

 

[MrsMozartleto]

Move, if you got a good feeling when you walked round the potential new place.

If it doesn't work out then rethink it. You'll have a better feel for the area and what it has to offer.

 

[Baywonder]

I would move yards. 26 miles is a heck of a distance to travel. Whilst it may seem okay in the summer months, once winter sets it it could be a different kettle of fish. I always kept mine quite local - maximum 7 miles away. I did, however, travel 24 miles to and from work every day when the company I worked for relocated. It was a complete PITA in terms of time, fuel and wear and tear on my car (and my sanity if there were hold-ups / roadworks etc!).

Are you able to pay a few more visits to the new yard you have found, and maybe get chatting to the other liveries and YO a bit more? It does sound like it is a nice yard, so I am sure they would be helpful in that respect.

 

[Shay]

Its hard to let go of things that are familiar and comfortable and move on. But in this case I would go for it. You will find a "new normal" at your new yard just as good if not better than you had at your old one. And if you don't - move back!

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

I would move yards, rather than waste hours travelling.

 

[Upthecreek]

I don’t think you really have a dilemma - of course you should move. I could see it would be a dilemma if there wasn’t a suitable yard so close to your new home, but there is so don’t overthink it. Never mind the cost of travelling, it will waste so much of your time.

 

[luckyoldme]

I would see if you could find out what the local feel is for the yard..as in try and find s connection with someone allready there.
I think ultimately a move is the only way forward because every time you have a row youve got 26 miles to sit there thinking about how its all his fault youve got to drive that far!

 

[PapaverFollis]

Yes. I agree. Move yards. If there wasn't a nice yard near him it would be a different matter. But the new yard sounds nice so just move and try it. You could always go back and see how the travel goes if you hate the new yard!

 

[J&S]

I have found that owning/riding horses is a great way to make new friends. The old friends could still come to meet you at local events, 26 miles is not that far to travel if you want to go back to compete at old venues.

 

[Trouper]

It seems like you still have some questions for the new yard about the riding opportunities in that area. You also don't say what the winter turnout will be like. Adding long journeys onto your new living arrangements seems like a stressor to me and the money saved by moving would go towards keeping your current instructor but I think @meleeka has the right idea - move yourself first and see how it goes.
Don't be afraid to meet new friends though - or even try a new instructor. Familiar and safe doesn't always mean best!!

 

[J_sarahd]

Thank you everyone. You’ve sort of clarified what I thought but it really is a head over heart decision as I absolutely love the current yard. Thankfully the YO at the current yard holds a lot of clinics, so I’ll have opportunity to go back etc. I think I’ve just got myself worked up and in my head about it. I want the absolute best for my pony, as we all do. This new yard does seem really nice and offers a lot of what I want. In terms of turnout etc I think it’s a lot like where I’m at now (all year turnout, but in at night but occasional days in early/all day). I think I just don’t like change/the unknown and so it’s stressing me out a bit

 

[Melody Grey]

I was in exactly this situation a few months ago. I moved, have made lots of new friends, found new hacking routes and a new routine. I don’t regret it for a second, the travel would have been too stressful every day and I’d have worried I wasn’t on hand in an emergency, so I’d go for it.

 

[magicmoments]

That's a very good point about an emergency, something we hope doesn't happen. Friday lunch time I went to yard to turn out my loan horse after a few hours in to find she was colicing. Including vet visit I spent all of Friday afternoon, evening there, but nipped home for food and warmer clothes, flask and then went back in the early hours for an hour and a further 3 visits yesterday. Easy to do when you're only 10 mins away, but 26 miles is another thing.

 

[Christmascinnamoncookie]

Move! My yard is almost 7 miles away and that’s too far, IMO! Drives me a bit mad. 26 miles is a big journey.

 

[Dave's Mam]

Having kept my pony at a yard 20 miles from home, the travel time & expense mounts up. What you save on fuel could balance out the extra expense of lessons with your current instructor & you might even get in touch with someone equally good & local.