I have a PLAN! :D

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RIGHT...

because all you so-called stalkers out there are utter POO and ****. I have come up with a cunning plan of my own... which I may need some help with!

I am going away to teach in Wales for a week next Thurs... when I come back we have SEVEN due for the farrier... three sets, one fronts, three trims... and I am going to woo him no matter what it takes. If it means doing a sexy sexy dance on the mounting block in my wellies and tweed coat, so be it. If I have to get my morags out and writhe around on the floor of the yard, so be it. If I have to start licking his face casually while he's shoeing, SO BE IT!

I require VIBES and any supercleverandeffective bag yourself a farrier tips please :D

I'm off to contemplate getting my hair cut... do I want to have sexy long hair to swish, or sexy slightly shorter hair to swish...

As you can see, my life is a trial :D :D

NOW HURRY UP AND MAKE YOURSELVES USEFUL!
 
I'm on my way over to make you laugh so much you pop your back brace off MrsM.

My sexy welly dance is the stuff of LEGENDS.
 
You need a bit of muck strategically placed on your face or a piece of straw place in your long flowing locks ......

You .... looking casually gawgeous with smear of muck on cheek/ piece of straw in hair ...

Him ... "You have something on your face/in your hair"

You .... "Do I ?" ... (try to remove muck/straw from a place it isn`t looking sweet and naive)

Him ... "Here let me ...... " .... **swoops in for muck/straw removal touching cheek/side of face/hair** ....

In that brief fleeting moment **whammy**

You know it makes sence :)
 
We NEED an instructive video of the sexy welly dance. The rest of us single girls must learn so we too can be prepared for the arrival of the one or two attractive straight horsey men that exist in the world into our lives!:D
 
You're a GENIUS.

I might go for the straw though, I don't think **!WHAMMY!** moments are at their best when one smells of poo....

Try the face licking, a good face lick works wonders! It gets a conversation started at least.... :D

And the sexy welly dance is simple -

1) put on wellies, tweed coat (and knickers, unless you're a right slaggypants). Bra optional, but necessary if your morags are a bit wild and prone to wafting about in an uncontrollable manner.

2) climb onto mounting block

3) writhe around a bit, wiggle bum, waft morags around, swish hair, pretend you're as flexible as two flexible things, DON'T FALL OFF, and if you're feeling really desperate, make sexy welly dance noises.

Go forth and dance ladies.
 
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I can't help but wonder whether a back brace would make the dance more or less sexy... I think you could take it in a whole new direction....

Abstract Mounting Block Dance With Back Brace, by MrsM
 
Awesome, love it... Def need a video. Could you casually ask if he accepts payment in kind? I'm sure you are worth more than 7 horses... ;-)
Wouldn't recommend doing that in front of my farrier though. He takes his clothes off often enough as it is - encouraging him with *exceptionally* sexy dance might be an error. Think my fencing contractor almost fell for my bikini top, cut off jeans (hot pants style) and chunky yard boots. The husband was less impressed sadly, but hey ho.. I like a man with a tractor and a post basher.
 
How irritating of you to be able to wear hot pants! If I wear hot pants I have to do the "fat thighs anti chafing waddle".

Not so much with the sexy.

You people with skinny minnie thighs just don't understand our pain!
 
I'd go for a swishy ponytail and swish it at him whenever you can. and a daisy duke tie top would be good for a horsy yet sexy look!!!
 
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So I really shouldn't tell you about the time I won a £100 bet by casually walking round Tesco's doing my shopping, wearing a gimp mask.

That money bought me a lovely pair of Pikeur breeches, WELL worth it. Possibly not for the lady who dropped (and therefore smashed) a jar of tomato sauce all over her feet when she glanced up to see me deciding what to have for supper!
 
Starzaan said:
How irritating of you to be able to wear hot pants! If I wear hot pants I have to do the "fat thighs anti chafing waddle".

Not so much with the sexy.

You people with skinny minnie thighs just don't understand our pain!
Click to expand...

Wish I had morags that wafted insanely instead of shriveled crisp packets where my DDs used to live... The hot pants were probably ill-advised - I'm probably not nearly skinny enough to get away with it either. A serious tan from poo-picking hides alot of sins tho! Besides, the hot pants were the start of the problems with aforementioned farrier. However, if you go hacking in similar, or the mounting block dance tweed/bra/pants combo (advise chaps to prevent chaffing) you'd be amazed at how the traffic slows down for you :D:D:D
 
Hahaaa!

Hopefully the sexy welly dance will be so effective there won't be time for chafing!!!

Well... not of that sort anyway hohohohoho :D
 
I have a cunning plan....

See if you can establish perhaps with a bit of chat about how late he gets to work and touch on his social life and try to establish if he has a free night without making it too obvious. eg if you can engineer the conversation from the 7 you have for him, is this a busy day and take the talk about the time he finishes vs the time he has to start, and see if there are any regular events he does eg footie training or darts match eg 'so I bet if you have a few awkward horses in the same day you can end up running very late, that must muck up any regular plans you have like footie training or whatever' , which hopefully will tell you what he does regularly and rule out a particular night.. ...

Once you know he's free of regular commitments on say Thursdays, text your friend, who will then ring you a little while later and arrange a girly night out for the next week you can say the day he's free would be a good night, conversation can go go along the lines of so who else is coming etc and name a few girly friends. Then arrange the venue, and confirm day and time and venue.

Of course his mate who fancies you is bound to want to go, so farrier will remember the info, tell his mate and they will turn up or invite themselves along.

Or just ask him out. Dare you.
 
Double dare you.

I like the straw-in-the-hair plan for the combination of romance and the word 'whammy', but suspect the casual conversation one is more fail-safe.

Btw... "Morags"? BWAHAHA
 
*Settles down with crisps* Are you not a little worried that his "possible" slaggy "girlfriend" will be on here at some point? Warning you off?

I'm another one for the welly dance but I'd get some nipple tassles too. ;)
 
Starzaan said:
RIGHT...

because all you so-called stalkers out there are utter POO and ****. I have come up with a cunning plan of my own... which I may need some help with!

I am going away to teach in Wales for a week next Thurs... when I come back we have SEVEN due for the farrier... three sets, one fronts, three trims... and I am going to woo him no matter what it takes. If it means doing a sexy sexy dance on the mounting block in my wellies and tweed coat, so be it. If I have to get my morags out and writhe around on the floor of the yard, so be it. If I have to start licking his face casually while he's shoeing, SO BE IT!

I require VIBES and any supercleverandeffective bag yourself a farrier tips please :D

I'm off to contemplate getting my hair cut... do I want to have sexy long hair to swish, or sexy slightly shorter hair to swish...

As you can see, my life is a trial :D :D

NOW HURRY UP AND MAKE YOURSELVES USEFUL!
Click to expand...
Im sorry love but he has probely seen it all before, is not intrested and thinks the girl on the other yard is to die for even though she isn't in the silghtest bit intrerested in him :D
 
Alarmingly, I have a friend who makes nipple tassles for a living... off I go!!!!

Ah but you see, I am too far gone to be put off now, trouty or no trouty! I SHALL win him over with my welly dance. I SHALL!
 
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