I have a PLAN! :D

Is there more history on this trilemma of yours?? Now, do you really want a man that is going to be visiting numerous women in jods every day who are no doubt also drooling over him, although possibly not licking his face? You'll be unique on that one!!
Why can't you just ask him out? For someone who is happy to go round Tesco's in a gimp mask for a bet (love it love it love it... ) asking out one guy is surely no big deal! Suggest you open with that anecdote... while cracking your schooling whip against your long boots and purring seductively :D
The last farrier I quite liked the look of, and made no secret of looking him up and down unashamedly, hand on hip, little finger in mouth (hey, it wasn't on my yard... and is very slaggy, don't do it) turned out to be, ahem, the other way inclined... :o:o:o:o
 
perfect11s said:
Im sorry love but he has probely seen it all before, is not intrested and thinks the girl on the other yard is to die for even though she isn't in the silghtest bit intrerested in him :D
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Well then he's a buggerface and I shall change his mind with my spectacular mounting block dance! Poo to you!!

Licky face is needed, these are DESPERATE TIMES. I'm sure Troutina can't do welly dances....
 
crockshard said:
The last farrier I quite liked the look of, and made no secret of looking him up and down unashamedly, hand on hip, little finger in mouth (hey, it wasn't on my yard... and is very slaggy, don't do it) turned out to be, ahem, the other way inclined... :o:o:o:o
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Hahahaaaa genius! You raging numpty!

How can you have MISSED the epic farrier saga?! My trilemma has been going on for about a trillion squillion years.. go back through my threads and bring back some sympathy please!
 
Could the muck stain be substituted for chocolate body paint instead?
;) :p


ETA - Deleted 2nd part...Made that sound far ruder than it was actually meant!
 
Starzaan said:
Hahahaaaa genius! You raging numpty!

How can you have MISSED the epic farrier saga?! My trilemma has been going on for about a trillion squillion years.. go back through my threads and bring back some sympathy please!
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Hey don't knock the seductive finger suck! Helps if you haven't recently been picking up muddy hooves to clean for aforementioned farrier tho... Either that or he claimed to be gay to escape the crazy lady covered in mud and horse hair from yard next door (moi..)

So... Have been through your previous threads - I feel your pain! Much sympathy and girlie solidarity on this one. I'm still in love with the fencing contractor from 2 years ago - who told my sister's OH (they worked on a job together recently) that he'd had a massive crush on me at the time and wished I hadn't married that t***. I'm now getting divorced, and he's married some lesbian he met out clubbing. Life isn't fair. And now I need quotes for the P&R round my (unbuilt) school but I'm too upset by the injustice of his marriage to ask him to do it. He did have a lovely tractor.
I'd best go back to doctor stalking - it's why I became a nurse anyway.

I say start spreading rumours about the skaggy trout and her visits to the clap clinic. hehe. Hire a male escort to seduce her and take video footage, which you then accidentally post to him anonymously. And when he needs a shoulder to cry on because all women are evil, unfaithful, harlots, except you of course....

Seriously, I think he likes you *secretly*. I'm sure of it. I don't think men ever just text (repeatedly) to be friendly... Even if you are his best client!!
FYI you can pull your own shoes off...

I'm also most glad to have stumbled on your techniques for whiter than white greys though, thankyou muchly. I shall have spangly skewbalds from now on.
 
I was thinking about this last night.

I'm thinking if you're going all out for the wammy then you need to set the mood and tone. I'm thinking fog machine, red rose in mouth and soft lighting around the mounting block. Perhaps you could move it into a strategically positioned trailer or horsebox!

The welly dance is the way forward - I'm convinced.
 
Starzaan, here's what you have to do.

I will send you my flat-backed horse (who still has a shoe off because our farrier has put his back out :mad: )
You will don your best welly dancing gear.
You will climb up and stand on the flat-backed, 3-shoed horse and do your welly dance there! (I taught him to have me standing on his back for precisely this kind of emergency, so you will be quite safe).

A foolproof plan which combines a) the welly dance, and b) a horse that needs shoes, to attract his attention.

;)
 
Just casually ask him out for a drink!

Thats what I did with my husband!! I fretted and fretted....he had no clue at the time I liked him....so no amount of wooing would have worked anyway....

He's not a farrier, but he is horsey! :D

Good luck...!
 
Starzaan...putting the 'mounting' in mounting block since 2010...

Seriously, this is the age of the internet. I think you need to get a few like-minded friends in wellies, tweed and hot-pants doing a pastiche of Single Ladies. Whack it up on YouTube and dedicate it to your sexy farrier guy. You have a viral hit on your hands there. If you have some teeny tiny ponies or kittens to stick in your vid, that earns extra points.
 
arizonahoney said:
Starzaan...putting the 'mounting' in mounting block since 2010...

Seriously, this is the age of the internet. I think you need to get a few like-minded friends in wellies, tweed and hot-pants doing a pastiche of Single Ladies. Whack it up on YouTube and dedicate it to your sexy farrier guy. You have a viral hit on your hands there. If you have some teeny tiny ponies or kittens to stick in your vid, that earns extra points.
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That is absolute GENIUS.

*bows down*
 
No the best thing to do is to know what time he's arriving. Then wearing sexy-ist bra and knickers under sexy breeches and a nice polo shirts be prancing around with your top off and breeches undone (thus showing sexy matching knickers - but only a flash of them) girlie shrieking that a wasp has gone down your top and you swear its stung you. Ask him for help checking!
In the process of this accidentally catch your eye / get something in your eye ask him to help get it out for you, move in close and voila. Tongue tennis.
Easy........
 
Uselss as you lot are, you're all a bit loverly like :D

I may just do that... does anyone have a smoke machine?!

OR... I could get another farrier to come and provide the smoke, thereby causing muchos jealously when Fit Farrier sees said video, due to my slagging it about on a mounting block with ANOTHER FARRIER !!!

I would just like to add that I counted (yeppers, I am that girl!) how many texts he sent me between 7am and 5pm on Tuesday.



THIRTY FOUR.


Why has he not thrown the trout of a motorway bridge yet?!?!
 
I'm going to put you out of your misery, get his number from yellow pages and tell himto check HHO forum, new lounge, Starzaan.
:p
 
Starzaan said:
I would just like to add that I counted (yeppers, I am that girl!) how many texts he sent me between 7am and 5pm on Tuesday.



THIRTY FOUR.
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Good Lord...it's amazing you're not an item yet... Unless those texts read "For the love of mike, woman, please stop stalking me!!!" ;)
 
Binky my darling, if you do that I shall be RIGHT ROUND IN A FLASH to hack Hairy's feathers off.

With SCISSORS.


Arizonahoney... of COURSE he is not saying that! I am exercising spectacular self restraint and only texting in reply to his texts... I refuse to be the first texter. You see, I'm still pretending that I have a life full of sexy farriers and do the mounting block dance on podiums with all my sexy farrier friends every night so don't need him and his LOVELY dog. (Who is ok by the way for all those who have followed this sorry story from the start :) )
 
Does your over-texty mobile have a camera on it? I demand to see photographic representations of His Farrierish Loveliness.

If it doesn't have a camera on it, you can always knock up a portrait in Paint and post it on here :D
 
PMSL.

I wouldn't don't worry hahaha! Not for the risk of feathers!!!

Anyway. There are TWO trads on the yard now ;) hahaha
 
Well if SOMEONE would just bloody blooming add him on Facebook and stalk him for me, then you could see his lovely face and arms!!!!!

Binky, I'm going to hold you to that. Hairy wouldn't know what hit him....

:D :D
 
First of all I must thank you - haven't laughed this much in ages!!

arizonahoney said:
Seriously, this is the age of the internet. I think you need to get a few like-minded friends in wellies, tweed and hot-pants doing a pastiche of Single Ladies. Whack it up on YouTube and dedicate it to your sexy farrier guy. You have a viral hit on your hands there. If you have some teeny tiny ponies or kittens to stick in your vid, that earns extra points.
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Second of all, I dare you to do the above, preferably wearing the gimp masks. Maybe tell your fitfarrier this is your plan, and ask him if he'll create the smoke from shoeing?? Thus he can't miss the action??

Starzaan said:
Well if SOMEONE would just bloody blooming add him on Facebook and stalk him for me, then you could see his lovely face and arms!!!!!
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Thirdly - I'm an expert facebook stalker (including having added the famous german horse rider I stalked in Switzerland for a week and casually propositioned whilst in purple and pink checked pjs with wellys *ahem*) ... so let me know fit farriers name and I shall stalk away :D :D
 
How have you not added him on facebook yet???!!! I think you should just invite him out somewhere, get a little tipsy and KISS HIM! job done! If you don't ask him out soon I am going to do it for you! xx
 
But we need to get rid of the TROUT first!!!!

I wonder if Wales will have a heat wave next week and I'll return from my torturous weeks teaching with a cracking tan...

HMMMMMMM.

Nobody has helped me solve my hair trilemma yet either, you're all poo!
 
Leave it long! long swishing is sooo much better! the trout may only be there until a better offer comes along... trust me Ive stolen farriers off trouts before!! xx
 
I'd go for the hair cut.... hair always looks sexier when it's just been cut and is all blown dry and shiny and swishy.
Plus if he notices .... then he's definitely into you. In which case, licking won't scare him off .

PS - He is cute ;)
 
OMG I don't often post in NL but this is the funniest post I've read in ages lol! Farriers are such fickle creatures (been there done that) but 34 texts in a day? At the very least that should be the green light for a roll in the hay, and relationships are soooooo tedious darling!

Oh this thread has sooo made my day (wanders off chucking...)
 
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