I have completely lost all my confidence at shows

Demolition_Derby

Demolition_Derby

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As the title really. I have owned my horse since she was 18 months, I broke her in myself and everything she knows I have taught her. I was more than happy to do this and she is a wonderful horse. I have never been competitive but always enjoyed going to local shows etc. Last summer we were hacking to a local EC every weekend to do either the clear round or a class, only about 2'9 which I appreciate is not very big at all
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but we were both very happy at this height and I never had any desire to go higher.
Anyway, getting to this summer, I have completely lost all my nerve yet I am happily jumping a course of 3ft at home
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. I do need to 'wrap my legs around' her when I feel her backing off but she never ever refuses/runs out at home. Yet when I get to a show my legs seems to freeze. I simply cannot move them. Its stupid as I know all I need to do is squeeze and push her on but I just can't seem to do it
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this results in her refusing (quite a lot). Like I said, I am not competitive at all ( I often went home before the jump off as I was happy doing a course and not fussed about being placed etc) so its not like I am nervous about not winning anything like that.
I just don't know whats happened to me, I have never this before and I haven't had a bad experience, just a break over the winter, like I have every year. We did a sponsored ride on Sunday and although she jumped most things first time we were following another horse and had several silly refusals.

Sorry, I have waffled on for long enough now, I don't really know what I expect people to say but I just wanted to talk about it I guess. Thank you for listening and if anyone has any helpful tips please pass them on... unless its alcohol, I gave that up a year ago
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Kalms. It maybe because its the first time you've competed at this level and eventhough you dont care if you win, i bet you dont want to make yourself look like a tit either!

I am excatley the same. I ride fab at home, but when i go to shows, i ride like crap!

Maybe you should stick at 2ft 9 at competitions for the next few months but promise yourself you will jump nothing lower than that at home
 
If its a problem just when you are away from home then why not have some lessons at a bigger EC when they still have the course up? that way you do all the travelling and preparation but when you jump you have support and noone watching you- worked for me!
 
Your obviously a good, competent rider if you have backed and brought her on yourself so you need to remind yourself of this fact! I suspect her refusals are due to you transmitting negative thoughts to her before take off. I would be inclined to find yourself a reputable SJ trainer and have several sessions with them over a course of jumps, also ask them to ride your horse over the jumps to see if it is a mental block with yourself.
You will feel much better about yourself if you have someone from the ground advising you and then when you are ready to compete ask your trainer to come with you to help you through the show. It wont be long before you are back to how you used to feel with yourself.
 
I tried that during a period of stress at work but it didnt do an awful lot
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. I will try it again though as this is a very different situation. Thank you

ETS I was talking about rescue remedy!
 
Thank you for all your replies.

I know its me with the problem as I can feel that my legs don't move when they should be pushing her on!

Sorry, I should of also clarified that although I jump bigger at home I have not even attempted to jump higher than 2'9 at shows as I have issues with 2' this year
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All good and helpful suggestions, thank you. I will look into hiring the school with a full course of jumps and get used to jumping in different situations. I'm just really angry with myself for being so pathetic
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! I know I am more than capable of doing it, my horse is more than capable yet I let both of us down
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I would definitely advise hiring out different places and jumping in a non-competative way, possibly also with a trainer or friend to give pointers.

And remember to JUST HAVE FUN AND ENJOY!
 
How often were you going to these shows this summer? reason I ask, if its just the odd one here and there then you wont get into the swing of things, because its something different, which will have an affect your confidence and make you ride differently from what you normal do at home.

You may find that the more you go, even if you get someone else to compete your mare (just to get her back into it without putting stops in) this may give you a huge confidence boost, because you will be able to relax, enjoy watching your mare and see that really she can do it (as you know she can at home) and will give you the get up and go, get stuck back in kinda feeling.

Obviously you have done a cracking job with your mare and like someone else said you should be proud of yourself and your achievements, don't be so harsh on yourself, so its not your riding ability, its all in your head, is there anyone that has made you feel like this in anyway, are you trying to live up to others expectations when in jumping?

I'd get yourself off to a local place where you can hire out the showjumps and pootle around at your own leisure, or with an instructor or even with a friend so you can have some fun together, pretend your doing pairs or something, I think the more you do this, outside your comfort zone the easier it will be when you go to shows, perhaps try a smaller class, or just a simple clear round to give you and your horse a real boost before you get back to jumping your usual height, not only will this help you but it will teach your mare not to put any dirty stops or runs outs, because its somethign you can easily do and you will feel so much happier with yourself and your horse.

Chin up, you can do it, think positive and getting planing now how your going to tackle it, dont think of it as a problem, think of it as something to get your teeth stuck into.
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I had exactly the same problem, had hypnotherapy and now Im out winning at shows all the time. I can't recommend it enough, and I had two sessions for £80. Well worth it!
I know you say you're not competitive, but I am so it may have been a different initial problem, although I was concerned the most about making a fool of myself. I don't know why, my horse is fantastic.
Since then Ive helped a friend with the same problem - she has two horses, one of which she is confident riding, the other, for no apparent reason, she is scared sh*tless of riding. Ive been riding her horse, took him to a few shows and got him jumping and enjoying himself - she's now riding him in an outdoor school, walking and trotting - I know that doesnt sound a lot but its a lot better than a few months ago when she wouldn't even get on him. She said seeing someone else ride her horse successfully really helped her, but you may not want to do that if you're the only person whos ridden your horse.
And ps. 2'9 can seem ENORMOUS when you're not feeling confident!
 
I know exactly how you feel.... there is a local HT this weekend that a couple of years ago I would have been desperate to enter...... this time, I cant even ring up.

I cant put my finger on why though.... its a total mystery.... I want to do it, Not scared to do it as its only 2'3" I did have a bad fall a couple of years ago xc so maybe to do with that, and also the fact that Merlin has had the best part of 2 years off of competing due to a fetlock problem... which although not resloved (arthritis) vet says that I can carry on as normal as he never goes lame on it
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So what is stopping me.....
 
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