I have finally solved the barefoot/shoes argument

Patterdale

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So after reading through yet more countless 'i heart shoes' 'I heart barefoot' posts, I thought someone should solve the issue once and for all. I mean, all we really want is the best for our horses isn't it?
So I thought, how can I guarantee them to be sound, and cope with literally any ground, and create a system that suits literally any horse?

And then it hit me.

I have now fitted my horses with caterpillar tracks, a la JCB.

They can now cope easily with all terrain and are sound.

As well as lowering the starch in their diets, if I oil them regularly and get a specialist HCTP (Horse Caterpillar Tracks Practicioner) every 6 weeks I am confident that my solution will work.

Anyone want to join me???

:D
 
Your HCTP will have only done a 4-day course. He will lame your horse. You need a Caterpillar specialist who has trained for 5 years.
 
I hope you're making sure you're using mineral water for them, as we all know how important balanced minerals are to any kind of shoeless diet ;)
 
How about a 6 wheeler

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Might get less time faults:D:D
 
What a load of sheep you are. My idea is far better. I'm fitting mine with bucket style stilts, thus ensuring daughters 11.1 is never out grown. Plus I can buy another small pony for her to ride, which with bigger stilts I can hunt & compete.
 
What a load of sheep you are. My idea is far better. I'm fitting mine with bucket style stilts, thus ensuring daughters 11.1 is never out grown. Plus I can buy another small pony for her to ride, which with bigger stilts I can hunt & compete.

Inspired they could adjust automatically for crossing deep water.
 
that is soo passe, having extensively studied, carried out peer group research and being extremely clever I have transitioned mine to hover power.

It entirely removes the issues of differing terrain, excess sugar and even expenditure on hoof oil. My horses are able to exist on a pure sugar diet and have an attractive range of slippers and sparkly shellac hoof varnish.

My manicurist is able to fit them in when she does me although the farrier has stopped speaking to me.

Only negatives are that they have to be stabled in high winds and if they have been eating too many beans, and there have been random complaints by the neighbours of low flying horses depositing droppings in passing.
 
Seriously? Haven't you watched The Spy who Loved Me? If you had, you would have done what I did and fitted the horse with both wheels and an outboard propeller and snorkel. This way I am good on all terrain and can go diving whenever I take my fancy. I also have torpedos and machine guns fitted for all those people who get on my norty pillows.

If only there was room for Daniel Craig...
 
I don't like caterpillar tracks :( I hate all those stones that get caught in the hinges. Heaven knows how many abscesses they will cause!
 
I solved the problem of the caterpillar tracks impeding jumping by investing in some 'track springs'... they are a bit like 'hoof boots' but attach to the tracks to give that bit of extra 'ping'!
 
'Tis easy, my boys and I have joined the flying carpet brigade! Clean feet for them, carpet slippers for me and a cuppa to boot while riding!
 
Sadly I'm having to resort to teaching my 6 miniature shetlands to bog snorkel as their teeny height means the mud is almost above their heads and it's only November. Anyone know a time-served bog-snorkelling instructor in Wales?
 
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