I Have to Let Of Steam...

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_OC_

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.....am I over reactive on this matter, every morning I give the horses on my yard their breakfast(small yard,8 horses,two I don't do!).......and if anybody does any thing for my boy I always go find them and thank them(rare as my friend and I help each other out!)...but, this morning I was early and feed them all and thought apart from two owners.....not one of them ever comes up to me and says"Thanks for feeding in the morning"........they have even said to me in the past"Oh you will be early I've left their feed here!"...If that was me I would say "And thanks for doing that for me!"....and to top it all I was last down tonight and not one light was left on and all locked up!!If there was a horse waiting for it's owner to come down,then I would leave a light on(YO does not mind as then she knows there's still someone due!).....I feel like going later tomorrow and let them sort them selves out....as I save them time not having to wait for horses to finsh their breakfast....feel like I 'm taken for granted as so bl**dy soft!
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I know how you feel, people really do take the p*ss, the more you do to help, the more they expect, and the more they take you for granted. I t makes you mad doesn't it.
Like you i would feel like saying ba**s sort your own out, but no doubt would still get there as usual and sort them out. I am too soft, sometimes not a good quality.

Good luck
 
This is a bug bear of mine and like you I can build myself up in to a right little stew over this kind of thing.
The thing is, I expect the people haven't even realised that they don't thank you.

I am not sure of the best way to deal with this. But I think if you just whisper in one of their ears that you have no problem feeding the horses but sometimes you feel a little taken for granted. All you would like to hear is just a "Thank you". I am sure that will spread round quite quickly.

Any friends of mine reading this will chuckle as they know how "arsey" I get about people not saying "Thank you"!

Hope you sort it all out. Don't get too cross about it, it'll only make things awkward.
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I used to make that mistake, for me it was the whole, if I dont do it, they wont bother thing.

However when I was spending more time doing other peoples horses than my own, I drew the line and stopped.
 
i let a pony out when i do my 2 in the morning and was starting to feel a bit like you do until this morning when i called her knowing she was at the yard .was going to ask her to put my 2 out as we have the lergy doing the rounds in my house at the mo! anyway she was at home when she called me back as she had left her phone behind.told her why i had phoned and she was quite prepared to pop back down and throw my 2 out!
normally i dont ask anyone to chuck the boy out as he is a complete moron to put rugs on and off and is only done by my daughter or myself as i dont 100% trust him with people he doesnt really know.last night though he had a cooler and a lightweight on as his other rugs are still soaked so would have just been a case of turning him out .
another girl feeds him for me as she is there at stupid oclock in the morning i offered her payment as she is going to start feeding others in the morning and is charging them but she said she doesnt want payment from me as she knows she can use me as her back up if and when she needs to.
i dont think your over reacting at all how hard is it to simply say thankyou? as for people telling you where the feed will be left maybe get a tin and say ' that'll be xxx amount the payment tin is in such and such a place?
 
It is horrid when you feel taken for granted, just don't do it a few times, they will soon appreciate it.

I am lucky that I have sturck a deal with the lady in the next stable in that I do mornings and she does evening. (she only has a shetie so no bother) also happy to help a lady with two cobs if she ever needs it and she always buys bert carrots and checks on him for me. In short there is a lot of support and there are quite a few people who can help me out and I will try to help them out too. (am actually quite nervous on the ground with most horses so limit myself to the safe cobs and the more co-operative ones)
 
same happens to me and my mum ll the time,
always get phone calls or notes left on the door of my lot in chalk, usually along the lines of "when u get yours in will you bring in mine, ( i got two in each field(m and g seperated) so it means two trips to the field

dont mind but big time get taken advantage of, and they wouldnt think of mine if i had one of each out, gone up a few times to find mine out on their own,
i couldnt ever leave one out on their own without at least letting the owner know

my mum says were too soft, but what else can we do?
its just the way ive been brought up i suppose
 
You said it - it's the way you have been brought up! Correctly. Politeness costs nothing. My daughter thanked the person manning the gate at a recent Pony Club competition as she let her through. It took her several minutes to get over the shock! Helpfulness, however, usually takes effort and you can get very jaded keep being taken for granted. I find it hard to say no and feel like I'm being deliberately awkward if it's people I am concerned with. Horses, who are at the mercy of their owners, is a tough one. How can you not feed the poor things, knowing it is churning them up? Get straight talking to the people concerned - in the politest possible way - of course!
 
Hi and I wish they were all like you....thanks to all of you that replied at least I am right to feel like I do......trouble with me I always find it hard to say"No,no I will not do that for you,you take it for granted that I will"....I think I have Sucker slapped on my forehead,maybe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Yes did it before I saw your reply....Thankies for that one.....OooooHooo that won't know what's hit 'em at the yard.........gonna be cruel to be kind...this lady is getting tough.....maybe not!!!!
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Manners cost nothing. I expect nothing else but the simple word "Thankyou". I am happy to hay/feed etc if need be, but if someone hasnt the courtsey to thank me then simple, I won't do it anymore.
 
Have a day off and get someone (like an OH) to throw your feed in....

Then if they get stroppy, infom them that it manners cost nothing and maybe they would like to ask politely for your services?!
 
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Oh Sarah, are they still at it? Who could that be I wonder? You can't rent my old field up the hill can you, do they use it or has Mrs Spoon-up-her-bottom stuck her oar in? That would stump them for a while.
I hope for your sake that you aren't using a top field and a bottom field, I don't envy you that walk. Yes people, Sarah and her mum are way TOO nice to say "NO" even if they feel like it, sharing a yard with them, was, I can honestly say, a pleasure.
 
Unfortunately the more you do for someone the more they expect & the more they take you for granted, obviously there are exceptions but not that many.
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I can see your point that you get p!ssed off with doing things for others and being taken for granted.... so really you should stop this, they'll soon take the hint, and ge tout of bed earlier themselves!!!

but i think as for shutting up and locking up when no-one is there when they are wanting to leave is sensible... it doesn't take 2mins to unlock a door, and would rather that than leave the door open to the world for anyone to walk in and steal whatever is in there....

my yard is well off the beaten track and very quiet but insurance wise, it's not insured if the door is open/unlocked and no-one is on the yard.
 
The 1st at the yard always feeds all the horses in the block (12). This is normally either myself, or the girl I share duties with, last year we got a bit taken advantage of as people started leaving haynets out too!!! (so they could rock up a 11am on weekends - never an offer to get up early and give us the morning off).

Well this year we made it clear, that we would put feeds in (stops doors being hammered), but were not going to be doing nets. I also went down a bit later a few mornings (weekdays when the other liveries had to get to work, but I had the day off!!), one had the nerve to maon coz as she had had to feed, she was going to be late for work!!! - Ha Ha. On another occasion the 1st person down only fed her own (coz she didn't have time to do the rest), she was politely informed that if she did this again, we would never have the time to feed hers again. Think you just have to be firm and work something out that is fair for all.
 
Do the other liveries know it is you that does it? Or do they believe it is the YO? Our YO feed all horses every weekday morning, but at weekends it is the first person on the yard, usually us, if YO not down before us. I'd never expect anyone to thank me for it as they don't know who does it, all feeds are left out for breakfast.

If somebody does something for me, I will always thank them, it is good manners to do that, but if I didn't know they had done it then tI wouldn't know to thank them, if you know what i mean.
 
My honest opinion, You have every right to feel like you do about the feeding , but, I feel you are slightly over reacting about the light being turned off. I understand how you feel and you have every right to feel like this. The little things build up and turn into something huge.

If I were you I would stop feeding their horses for a while. When they ask why just explain, but be calm.
 
i was asked to turn out a pony with mine in the mornings, as a temporary measure, but it seemed to be getting to be accepted as a permanent thing, then it was could you bring him in etc. i told her to ask someone else, i dont mind helping out but i dont want lumbering with someone elses ponu i have little enough time as it is for mine. i still felt a bit mean though. girl doesnt seem to be speaking to me now
 
Oh they know it's me alright............still did it this morning......and watched one owner turn up to put her two horses out 9.30am......nice to have a lay in.....any way my friend and I have hatched a plan....you will know what happens next week,but, there will be confused people.....I'm getting tough!
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Yes I see your point...but, by doing this it was like I did not matter,and Yard has electric gates.....so very secure YO house overlooks.......never mind they will see no more taken for granted .....me!
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....and I will be very calm as I know this gets results!
 
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