I have to sell my pony

phizz4

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I haven't had time to read all of the responses so if this has already been suggested I apologise, but can you donate the pony to the RDA and then you can go and ride the pony when you wish, with the excellent support that the RDA provide?
 

SpringArising

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I'm so sorry to read this LW. But I really want you to know that Bobbie is the sort of pony who is going to end up in the most fantastic home because she's the sort that everyone is after! I really bet you that she's going to be snapped up. The amount of times I've been worried about my horses going to the right home (including the ones who have been buggers that I thought I'd never see that back of...), thinking no one will love and care for them like I do, only to be proved wrong, is daft. No normal person sets out to buy a horse only to not take care of them properly. And there's nothing to say you couldn't visit her. I wish you all the best.
 

SamBean

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I've not been around on here for long but just wanted to say so sorry to read this, it's all heartbreaking. I can't offer any advice unfortunately, just hoping for now Bobbie finds a good home and sending best wishes to you.
 

GreyMane

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For what it's worth, a friend of mine who's long term ill has been through the whole PIP process and has just had a Tribunal.
The DWP will try and get you off their books any way they can, as those are their orders from above; however at the Tribunal stage you are dealing with a very different (and more impartial) set of people. My friend got all her benefits reinstated.

There is a very good site called Benefits and Work which can help you get what you are entitled to.
Recommend this if you are filling out forms etc. There is a subscription (£19.95 a year) but it is worth it as you get really accurate info about EXACTLY how wording and scoring etc works.
https://www.benefitsandwork.co.uk
 

Clodagh

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I'm so incredibly sorry. I completely understand you prioritising Bobbie and her new home. I hope if you can get her sorted then you will feel able to battle on and sort out what you are entitled to.
Take one day at a time.
 

Orangehorse

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Hi Leo
Contact Blue Cross, in your circumstances they should take your pony and rehome or keep. When I visited Blue Cross in Oxfordshire they had a horse there that had come from an elderly gentleman unable to keep the horse any longer. They will probably want some money too, but they retain ownership even if they mange to rehome.

Best of luck.
 

Leo Walker

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Having cried non stop for about 3 days I woke up this morning to find my hen has hatched some chicks which is the most amazing thing. It distracted me long enough to get myself together a bit, I think the worst of the shock has probably abated now which helps.

My friend has spoken to my boss and I'm taking some time off work. although there have been horrendous issues at work, my current role and particularly my boss have been amazing, the issues are that I am on secondment and they, they being the generic they, are trying to send me back to a job I cant do. I couldn't ring him myself as he would have been incredibly kind to me and I would have been in hysterics, so I got my friend to call, cringing slightly, but I couldnt do it. Hes been brilliant and has assured me that I will be able to come back to my current role and I'm not to worry about any of it right now.

I dont particularly enjoy working but having a tantrum and walking out is a very selfish and childish thing to do, so I'm glad I caught myself in time to stop that. I've had a couple of people out to assess my desk etc previously and there are already things in motion to allow me to do a job with some specialised software. I wont be very good at it and I will be slow, but you know what? tough!

I've got an appointment next week with the eye consultants and I'm going to have it out with them. I understand options are limited and they are doing what they can, but they arent really telling me anything and they need to. Theres a difference between completely blind and partially sighted and where exactly I fall on the scale will make an enormous difference. Last time I kicked off I got a second and third opinion, but no one can agree with anyone else other than it doesnt look good. I saw the Moorfields consultant but cant actually remember what she said now, it was about the time they discharged me last year, so I dont think there was any real issues at the time. I dont remember being particularly impressed to be honest, but I'm going to look at sending the scans etc over for them to review just to make sure theres nothing being missed or not done.

There is a course of injections that can stop the blood vessels forming, the blindness is caused by them forming and bursting and damaging the structures in my eye, in very basic laymens terms. They keep telling me I dont qualify for them, but its literally the only thing that could help now. The course is 20k. I dont have 20k but I need them to tell me if it really would help before I start to worry about that. I just dont get any information from them, just sad faces and "poor prognosis" and thats not bloody good enough! I end up waiting to be copied into the letters to my GP and finding things out that way.

I still think Bobbie will have to be sold. I cant see a way round it, unless I keep some sight, if I can see shapes and colour just not detail, then I can drive and I'll make it work. If its total black out blindness then I just cant. I'm torn between doing it now and having it resolved and sorted or hanging on and hoping its not as bad as predicted, but thats setting me up for massive disappointment further down the line. The sensible option is to do it now, its going to be so difficult once my driving licence is gone and I'm dreading it. I can cope with it if I have to, but when things progress and if the end result is total blindness then I've put myself through weeks or months of hassle for it all to be over anyway.
 

Blanche

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I'm so very sorry to hear this. What a overwhelming time for you. There is so much info here but I can see it will be hard to see the wood for the trees at the moment.

I would get all the help you can to deal with your boss at tribunal, harness all your anger, bitterness, sadness, frustration and use it against them.

Someone has already mentioned this but I will repeat about charities rehoming directly from you.

Make sure you claim every benefit you are entitled to. I have no experience of this so have no knowledge to pass on.
https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/benefits-check/
https://www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/articles/make-sure-youre-getting-the-right-entitlements
I do know someone who went to Citizens advice when she couldn't work due to her disabled child and they helped her claim various different benefits. They maybe a good place to start.
 

atropa

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LW, I have read your posts on this thread with tears in my eyes, I’m so very sorry that this is happening to you, that you have been treated so badly and are feeling so lost. Really glad to hear a note of positivity creeping back in with your latest update. I really hope you can find the strength to keep fighting – with your job, the doctors and for your involvement with horses. I’ve had crap times (nowhere near as crap as yours, mind) in my life where I thought things were never going to get better, but inevitably they always have eventually. I know that it is so, so difficult to believe that when you’re in a place as dark as yours.
 

HappyHollyDays

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I am so sorry Leo, it must be a hell of a lot to take in at the moment but I'm glad your lovely new boss is on your side. Lots of useful advice already but I am another who would try the Blue Cross at Burford, Redwings at Oxhill or your local RDA driving centre.
 

Sandstone1

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If I were you I would take someone with you to your next hospital appointment.
if sounds like you are so overwhelmed with everything that you are possibly not taking everything in properly.
With driving, if you can see well enough to drive I would have thought that you could continue to look after your pony if you wish to keep her.

I am sure ive read another post from you last year when things looked really bad for you but then seemed to improve.?
Hopefully things will improve again and it wont all be as bad as you think.
Id take all the help you can get regarding your job.
 

Clodagh

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I think if you have any doubts at all about selling B then don't do it. Someone higher up said about RDA taking on novice ponies, could they loan her? I am sure that if she did have to come back and you were unable to deal a friend would sort things out for you.
Selling is irreversible so if there is hope, hang in there.
 

G&T

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I've got an appointment next week with the eye consultants and I'm going to have it out with them. I understand options are limited and they are doing what they can, but they arent really telling me anything and they need to. Theres a difference between completely blind and partially sighted and where exactly I fall on the scale will make an enormous difference. Last time I kicked off I got a second and third opinion, but no one can agree with anyone else other than it doesnt look good. I saw the Moorfields consultant but cant actually remember what she said now, it was about the time they discharged me last year, so I dont think there was any real issues at the time. I dont remember being particularly impressed to be honest, but I'm going to look at sending the scans etc over for them to review just to make sure theres nothing being missed or not done.

There is a course of injections that can stop the blood vessels forming, the blindness is caused by them forming and bursting and damaging the structures in my eye, in very basic laymens terms. They keep telling me I dont qualify for them, but its literally the only thing that could help now. The course is 20k. I dont have 20k but I need them to tell me if it really would help before I start to worry about that. I just dont get any information from them, just sad faces and "poor prognosis" and thats not bloody good enough! I end up waiting to be copied into the letters to my GP and finding things out that way.

Kick off big time! I do think medical services are sadly very overstretched so you absolutely need to make some noise so they can't ignore you. All medical professionals are not equal and your treatment and condition is obviously not easy routine stuff, so you have to have the very best specialist advising you, and advice on how to argue your case for the best treatment, even if it's expensive. As you've said, there are degrees of good/bad outcome for you which will have huge life consequences, so the NHS should to be all over this for you.

FFS it makes me so angry to think someone losing their sight 'doesn't qualify' for a potentially helpful treatment. What the hell are we all paying our taxes for if not this??
 

TPO

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Glad you're feeling a little better this morning and congratulations on your new chicks!

Hopefully that's a weight lifted now that your boss has assured you that your job is safe and that the wheels are in motion to make things more comfortable for you on your return.

If you are ok to drive just now and things have stabilised currently would it be a good idea to renew your license just now?

It's hard when it goes against the grain if you're just not that type of person but I do think you have to kick off a bit to get answers. Get the doctors/consultants to write everything down so that you can take it away with you. It's so hard to retain information in stressful situations and having something in writing is more useful for ensuring that they follow through on what they have said.

Is there anyone on the yard that could help with B short term until you know for sure how you feel and what is practical rather than making a decision when emotions are fraught and running high? If B helps you just now then, as long as you feel able, I'd keep her on as part of your support system for your mental wellbeing. She's a cracking wee horse and if that is the decision you come to I'm sure you'll have no bother finding her the best home for her.
 

Tarragon

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Leo, I am so so sorry to read this and really feel for you.
I haven't got much more to add that others haven't already said other than I wouldn't be in a hurry to sell your lovely pony.
I have a good friend whose health really isn't good and not going to get any better. A while ago they had to admit to themselves that they were unlikely to be able to ride any more but decided to keep the horse on DIY livery in retirement and kept going for a few years happily looking after her horse, even though she had lost her licence and had to depend on public transport to get to the yard and back. This arrangement eventually became too much for her and she had to make another huge decision and admit to herself that DIY wasn't working so now the horse is in full livery and my friend gets to see her a few times a week when she can get a lift and feels up to it, but knowing that the horse is being well cared for when she can't get there. My friend gets a huge mental boost knowing that she still has her horse and is part of the horsey world that she loves and every visit is like a tonic to her.
This forum is amazing when it comes to things like this. I hold my hat to all you lovely people.
 
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Surbie

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I saw the Moorfields consultant but cant actually remember what she said now, it was about the time they discharged me last year, so I dont think there was any real issues at the time.

I have found with difficult appointments that recording the discussion on my phone is really helpful - I've done it several times with my cousin's daughter (her mum lives in Africa so the detail was really helpful for her to hear) and with my Mum most recently when both of us were a bit upset and didn't necessarily 'hear' all the things we needed to. The staff are usually fine with it.

I think if you have any doubts at all about selling B then don't do it. Someone higher up said about RDA taking on novice ponies, could they loan her? I am sure that if she did have to come back and you were unable to deal a friend would sort things out for you.
Selling is irreversible so if there is hope, hang in there.

That was me I think - my RDA certainly takes loans and I'd assume the other groups do too - I'm on the regional committee so can find that out from the driving groups if it's of interest to you LW. I wouldn't want to put any pressure on you to move Bobbie on, I think lots of people have said very sensible things about taking time for this decision and finding the right home for her if that's what you choose to do.
 

Fransurrey

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I can't add to the advice already given, but I do hope you're able to fight the tribunal and get the treatment you need. Life has dealt you some rather large poop. :-(
 

SEL

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LW - I've just read all of this and I'm absolutely heartbroken for you. This disease is **** and you deserve so much better. Can Diabetes UK help at all getting you the NHS support you need? Will your GP or consultant sign off another extension on your driving licence right now or will it definitely be withdrawn?
 

Equi

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I know it feels like you’re just in a big bubble of despair at the moment and it will for a long time but do remember there are thousands of blind people who lead a perfectly happy life. My uncle is 99% blind with a small tunnel of vision that’s barely worth being there he also has mobility issues and mild learning difficulties but he lives a full life on his own and yes he needs help but it’s still a life worth living. This will be a long hard road, but it’s a road you can travel I promise <3
 

Leo Walker

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The driving licence is a bloody joke. I currently pass the standard sight tests. I will almost certainly fail a field of vision test due to the amount of work. However being a responsible adult once I found out I tried to book one, with the intention of stopping driving and rescinding my licence if I failed it. The optician has refused to do it. Apparently the DVLA would deem it practicing. Its pushing a button when you see flashing lights in your vision, not algebra! But I cant do it so I've had to fill in all the forms and return them to the DVLA and now I have to wait however long it takes for them to arrange it. Its not a quick process according to them. Ridiculously they will let me swan about in the car until they finish doing medical reports etc.

Its irrelevant really given the deterioration thats now under way but before I knew about that I was really annoyed. I can legally drive completely blind in one eye, but I cant drive if any of my peripheral vision is impaired. And I think its incredibly irresponsible to not be allowed to take the test myself.
 

Leo Walker

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I know it feels like you’re just in a big bubble of despair at the moment and it will for a long time but do remember there are thousands of blind people who lead a perfectly happy life.

I'm not sure thats true. The stats are appalling with something like 90% of blind people rarely leaving their homes and reporting social isolation. I stopped reading after that as I'd rather not know, but it doesnt sound like very many people are living happy lives with serious sight issues sadly.
 

Equi

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I wonder how many of them have a guide dog/guiding help though. I hear great reports about guide dogs helping to bring people back out.
 

Asha

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I don't know what to say LW, it must be incredibly hard to get your head around this. I don't doubt for one minute, that once you've given yourself some time you will find a way through this. Your previous posts have shown how strong you can be when the poo hits the fan. Thinking of you x
 

ester

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I was going to mention the recording appointments, it was suggested to me last week and it wouldn't have even crossed my mind that it might be ok to ask to do so.
 

windand rain

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The driving licence is a bloody joke. I currently pass the standard sight tests. I will almost certainly fail a field of vision test due to the amount of work. However being a responsible adult once I found out I tried to book one, with the intention of stopping driving and rescinding my licence if I failed it. The optician has refused to do it. Apparently the DVLA would deem it practicing. Its pushing a button when you see flashing lights in your vision, not algebra! But I cant do it so I've had to fill in all the forms and return them to the DVLA and now I have to wait however long it takes for them to arrange it. Its not a quick process according to them. Ridiculously they will let me swan about in the car until they finish doing medical reports etc.

Its irrelevant really given the deterioration thats now under way but before I knew about that I was really annoyed. I can legally drive completely blind in one eye, but I cant drive if any of my peripheral vision is impaired. And I think its incredibly irresponsible to not be allowed to take the test myself.
My opticians do a field of vision test as standard so changing optician and paying for a test might work. I am heart broken for you I am diabetic so know the problems it brings with it Also pretty sure they can heal aneurisms with lazer but you may already have had that done
 

tristar

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oh leo, have no words,.

glad you could find joy in the chicks, thank you so much for offering to put up pics of warrior, i have not got good ones yet, waiting for winter coat to come off, and not been able to do much with him for a few weeks.

thinking of you all the time, hope a solution can be thought of regarding your pony that works for everyone, and you can find some peace in the knowledge she is safe and happy, whatever you decide to do

please keep us updated
 
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