I have very little confidence on my horse

[Katie270]

I have been riding for 5 years now and started riding at a riding school where I quickly progressed, and competed with ponies from the riding school. The pony I competed most with liked to buck, take off and stop dead at jumps however this never knocked my confidence even tho she threw me off 3 times in the warmup arena and concussed me I got back on and completed my round.

Then the riding school starting putting my on all the new ponies to trial them as I was confident enough and liked the cheeky ponies and I fell off plenty more times but still never lost any confidence.
I started loaning/share owning my horse 2 years ago, I went from competing a 13.2hh pony to loaning/share owning a 15.2hh horse who always tried to get me off, constantly bolting towards fences, bucking and rearing which I rode through and didn’t want to give up.

I then started riding my horse in group lessons which he still played up in and I fell off many times but always got back on however at the start of 2020 I was riding him in group lesson and it was windy (my horse doesn’t like the wind too much and spooks at it) and one of the jump blocks blew towards him and he bolted and I stayed on for a while however he wouldn’t stop and kept bucking and I eventually fell off into the fence, I didn’t get back on straight away as the lesson didn’t want him back in but I got on one of the riding school ponies then the next day I got back on my horse even though I had cracked 2 ribs, for weeks after this fall I was scared to canter and refused to do circles as I feared loosing control.

In summer 2020 I started jumping again and gained a bit more confidence. My horse is a lot more well behaved now, I use to not be able to hack him and he wasn’t the best with traffic or tractors but now he is a star when hacking and I enjoy it so much more and we hack every week and in the arena he doesn’t take off as much and has become a lot better with the wind which is great however I can’t seem to get my confidence back but it’s only my horse, I can ride cheeky ponies or horses the same size as mine and have no fear however the moment I get on my horse I have little confidence but have more then I use to.
Does anyone have any advice or know why I have no confidence on my horse but have piles of confidence

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

As per my response on one of your other threads, it really sounds like having an instructor could help you and your horse get on track together.

I know we are all different, I am certainly no gutsy rider at all, but what you are describing to me sounds like a great recipe for destroying confidence and not especially great for the physical body either (getting back on with actual concussion?!) If that puts me in the 'wimp' category then fine but it doesn't sound like powering through is much fun or doing you/the horse many favours.

It sounds like you've made some really positive progress with your hacking so if you are able to do this safely and enjoy it, maybe stick with that for the time being? Take a bit of time and space to think about what your goals really are, and find someone experienced and empathic to help you get there.

 

[Katie270]

As per my response on one of your other threads, it really sounds like having an instructor could help you and your horse get on track together.

I know we are all different, I am certainly no gutsy rider at all, but what you are describing to me sounds like a great recipe for destroying confidence and not especially great for the physical body either (getting back on with actual concussion?!) If that puts me in the 'wimp' category then fine but it doesn't sound like powering through is much fun or doing you/the horse many favours.

It sounds like you've made some really positive progress with your hacking so if you are able to do this safely and enjoy it, maybe stick with that for the time being? Take a bit of time and space to think about what your goals really are, and find someone experienced and empathic to help you get there.

Thanks for advice! My plan was to get an instructor in January however lockdown has other plans, I had an instructor up to March 2020 however she disliked me and my horse and never gave me any positive feedback which really destroyed my confidence as I thought if no one else believes I can do it then why should I believe that I can do it but I would love to get different instructor and start gaining confidence but need to wait until lockdown is over

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

I don't know what the rules are for instructors coming to you (maybe yard rules at play here as well) but I'm in T4 and private lessons at riding schools are allowed at the moment. Hopefully you won't have to wait too long anyway.

What did your previous instructor dislike?

 

[smolmaus]

I think SaddlePsych'D's advice would be mine as well. You've had a difficult time and your body and brain are both reacting as anyone's might. It's normal, and in some cases sensible to be more cautious after a bad fall or a run of bad luck! Your previous instructor doesn't seem to have the empathy to work with that so finding someone who can is important.

I wouldnt ignore the impact that lockdown itself is having either though. All of us are under tremendous stress even if we aren't directly in the thick of the pandemic. Be easy on yourself!

 

[DabDab]

Looking at this and your other posts this sounds like a horse who has a pain issue going on, or has a significant amount of mental distress built up when it comes to school work. Quite possibly both.

Not a huge amount you can do as a sharer but personally it is not a horse I would be riding.

 

[Katie270]

I don't know what the rules are for instructors coming to you (maybe yard rules at play here as well) but I'm in T4 and private lessons at riding schools are allowed at the moment. Hopefully you won't have to wait too long anyway.

What did your previous instructor dislike?

I was one of her favourites when riding the riding school ponies like she would have asked me to ride her horses and whatever them I started riding my horse in lessons and she had asked if an inexperienced rider could ride him but I said no as he wasn’t the safest and didn’t want anyone getting hurt then from that moment she would have completely ignored me in group lessons or just said well done to everyone but say negative stuff to me like my horse hates me and that’s why he bucks or bolts or that I didn’t look after him properly him and I’m not trying to be cocky but I try look after my horse the best he can, he gets checked on everyday and gets mucked out everyday and gets him teeth done yearly, gets shoes regularly, and gets checked from time to time as well but when she started ignoring and giving me negative feedback I started loosing confidence then had a bad fall last year

 

[Katie270]

Looking at this and your other posts this sounds like a horse who has a pain issue going on, or has a significant amount of mental distress built up when it comes to school work. Quite possibly both.

Not a huge amount you can do as a sharer but personally it is not a horse I would be riding.

I would never give him up, I have had vet check for pain and made sure tack fits and everything like that however he wasn’t broken in that well and knew very little and wasn’t treated the best so that could be an issue with arena but before I had a fall, he was doing so well and doing courses of 80-90 in arena with no problems

 

[claret09]

i don't know if this is something you can do or if you feel you want to do but i would recommend you lunge your horse every time before you get on (certainly in the medium term). this will help to get rid on any excess energy and can really help you to feel more confident and in control. if you do decide to you might need to have a couple of lessons with your instructor about how to do it safely and to actually get your horse working properly - rather than just bombing round being stupid. also please make sure you wear a hard hat and gloves.

 

[Circe2]

I started up another thread recently, ‘Scared of my own horse’ - you might want to check some of the advice out on that thread, as people were really helpful. Not exactly the same situation, but you might still find it relevant and useful ?

On a different note, I am a bit worried about your horse - bucking, rearing etc can be habit, but I would usually suspect it’s pain-related behaviour. Have you had a vet investigation done? It sounds like you’re doing a lot of hacking at the moment (and not so much harder work - correct me if I’m wrong?) - and it makes me wonder if your horse is acting up less because it’s being given a break from activities it might find painful. I would definitely speak to my vet if I were you, as that fear might always linger if you feel that there’s a trigger hiding somewhere (KS, arthritic hocks, hoof problems, light ligament damage etc).

Very best of luck - you sound extremely resilient, but I have to admit you got me worried about your safety!

 

[Circe2]

I would never give him up, I have had vet check for pain and made sure tack fits and everything like that however he wasn’t broken in that well and knew very little and wasn’t treated the best so that could be an issue with arena but before I had a fall, he was doing so well and doing courses of 80-90 in arena with no problems

Sorry, typed my response before seeing this - it sounds like your vet has already checked things out. Personally I would still push for a scan (mainly the spine, but I’m a bit paranoid re KS), but it’s completely up to you and what you feel comfortable with. I’m not surprised you’re feeling anxious if you can’t tell what is/what will trigger the next outburst.

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

I had totally missed the bit where this isn't your own horse OP. My advice regarding instructor still stands but where is the horse's owner in all this?

 

[brighteyes]

I have been riding for 5 years now and started riding at a riding school where I quickly progressed, and competed with ponies from the riding school. The pony I competed most with liked to buck, take off and stop dead at jumps however this never knocked my confidence even tho she threw me off 3 times in the warmup arena and concussed me I got back on and completed my round.

Then the riding school starting putting my on all the new ponies to trial them as I was confident enough and liked the cheeky ponies and I fell off plenty more times but still never lost any confidence.
I started loaning/share owning my horse 2 years ago, I went from competing a 13.2hh pony to loaning/share owning a 15.2hh horse who always tried to get me off, constantly bolting towards fences, bucking and rearing which I rode through and didn’t want to give up.

I then started riding my horse in group lessons which he still played up in and I fell off many times but always got back on however at the start of 2020 I was riding him in group lesson and it was windy (my horse doesn’t like the wind too much and spooks at it) and one of the jump blocks blew towards him and he bolted and I stayed on for a while however he wouldn’t stop and kept bucking and I eventually fell off into the fence, I didn’t get back on straight away as the lesson didn’t want him back in but I got on one of the riding school ponies then the next day I got back on my horse even though I had cracked 2 ribs, for weeks after this fall I was scared to canter and refused to do circles as I feared loosing control.

In summer 2020 I started jumping again and gained a bit more confidence. My horse is a lot more well behaved now, I use to not be able to hack him and he wasn’t the best with traffic or tractors but now he is a star when hacking and I enjoy it so much more and we hack every week and in the arena he doesn’t take off as much and has become a lot better with the wind which is great however I can’t seem to get my confidence back but it’s only my horse, I can ride cheeky ponies or horses the same size as mine and have no fear however the moment I get on my horse I have little confidence but have more then I use to.
Does anyone have any advice or know why I have no confidence on my horse but have piles of confidence

Horses are a completely different ball game to ponies. Are you sure you are ready for one?

 

[Katie270]

Horses are a completely different ball game to ponies. Are you sure you are ready for one?

Can ride other horses fine however I am not the tallest as I am only 5foot

 

[Katie270]

I had totally missed the bit where this isn't your own horse OP. My advice regarding instructor still stands but where is the horse's owner in all this?

Owner Doesn’t really look near horse and doesn’t have a big part in anything to do with horse but won’t let me buy him

 

[DabDab]

I would never give him up, I have had vet check for pain and made sure tack fits and everything like that however he wasn’t broken in that well and knew very little and wasn’t treated the best so that could be an issue with arena but before I had a fall, he was doing so well and doing courses of 80-90 in arena with no problems

But he was also taking off at speed regularly (more than often while circling?), rearing and bronking. Eventually he bronked with such determination that you had a bad fall. If described accurately this is not over-bubbly behaviour from an otherwise happy athlete.

I don't think your confidence is the issue, you sound plenty confident to me (impressively so), but you had a bad fall and were hurt and your subconscious is screaming at you that it might happen again.

 

[Katie270]

But he was also taking off at speed regularly (more than often while circling?), rearing and bronking. Eventually he bronked with such determination that you had a bad fall. If described accurately this is not over-bubbly behaviour from an otherwise happy athlete.

I don't think your confidence is the issue, you sound plenty confident to me (impressively so), but you had a bad fall and were hurt and your subconscious is screaming at you that it might happen again.

He it ALOT better than when I first started riding him, he use to try throw me off everytime I rode but I put it down to him not really getting attention from anyone before I started riding and not being broken properly and I’m so happy it trusts me a lot more now and I trust him with most things and the more I trust him the more behaved he is and I think I lost a bit of trust when I fell off so he’s now slowing loosing trust in me