I just don't know what to do

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RunToEarth

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Well actually that is a lie, I know what to do, but after spending my time bitching about every other person in the world that doesn't put their poor, ageing horse down because they are so damned selfish, we're the selfish ones.
Our mare is 30, she can't chew a great deal, she has had a tough last winter and hasn't summered as well as we hoped.
I told mum I think it is her last summer, mum agrees but wants her to have her last couple of months. Dad doesn't want to let go- she has been in that same stable every day I've walked this earth.
I don't want to let go of my one in a million horse, not even a little bit, even thinking of my world without her is making me well up, but it is getting to that point where I need to. I just feel so completely gutted, I ALWAYS knew this day would come but for some reason I was hopeful it never would.
 
Oh hun its always a hard desicion to make, but if we have a winter as hard as we did last year you will know that you have made the right desision. My friend is letting her old tb boy who is 30 this year enjoy the summer and is then going to let him go while he can still enjoy being in the field as last winter he could barely make it from the stable to the field. Big hugs xxx.
 
Horrible time for you, we had to make this choice for the Old Appy, who was 33 when we had to 'let her go'. We also let her have a last simmer, had decided on August, but she brightend up a bit and we re-arranged for October half term (sister is a teacher). We had had the mare for 24 years, she had a huge personality and left an enormous space, but we knew that we had to do this for her. Sorry you too are having to make this choice, and am sure that when the time comes the family will work it out together.
 
I know exactly how you feel & I am so sorry but there is nothing I can say to make you feel better :(

The way I dealt with it was to keep reminding myself that my lad had been a joy to own & had given me so much pleasure over the years (I had him from 6mths old till he was 17yrs).

I was so very worried that as I loved him so dearly I would allow him to go on longer than I should have. I had made a pact with my vet that if she felt he was suffering & I hadn't (or didn't want to acknowledge) that he was suffering that she would tell me that she thought it was time.

When the time came, it was actually me that called her. Due to the removal man not being able to take him away once he was put down until the next day, my lovely vet suggested that rather than him lie in the yard covered with a sheet, she could dose him up with painkillers & I could spoil him rotten until the next day & she would meet the removal man & he would be PTS :(

I had a full 24 hours to change my mind but I can honestly say that even though I was heartbroken at the thought of losing him, I never waivered in my decision.

Maybe get out some old photos (or even a video) of your girl & reminisce (sp?) with your Dad and it's possible he may notice a difference in how she used to look & realise how much she has aged?

I don't know what else to suggest sorry. It hurt so much that my lad looked fantastic when he was PTS but now looking back, I am so very glad that he hadn't dropped off & looked poor or even worse unhappy.

Good luck & I am thinking of you, it is so tragic to have to make this decision. Am in a similar situation with my accident prone horse & it really is the worse thing about owning horses.

Hugs to you all xx
 
I'm so sorry. Such is the problem of having golden oldies...one day you just have to let go. I think you'll know when the time is right; if she's happy now and not looking too poor, then maybe leave her be for a bit....but if you think her quality of life is going downhill, then maybe it is time to do the right thing. We pondered for ages over what to do with our old girl Pippa; she was bright in herself but getting stiffer and finding it increasingly harder to eat. Then one day, she went down in the yard - her legs just went from under her when she was walking out of her stable - and when we got her to her feet, she just looked sad. We gave her that day - cleaned her up, pulled her mane, took her for a walk (she was Lami prone so grass was a rarity!) - and then the day after, we took her to the kennels, and that was that.

You'll know when you need to do it xxx
 
It is such a hard decision to make. A vet once told me it is the last act of love you can show your horse. It does sound very much as if the time has come. Big hugs all round.
 
Your mum needs to sit your dad down and tell him like it is. Then arrange for the huntsman to come out to her the next day.

(((( Hugs ))))
 
I can tell everyone else that it is the right time, and that their horse should be pts, but when it comes to my own then suddenly I want just one more winter/summer for them - it's so much harder to stand back and be impartial. And even harder to make that phone call.

Have you got a knowledgeable and respected friend who would come round and give your parents their honest opinion, particularly your father? Perhaps your dad needs to hear it from someone else (not your vet - the ones I know rarely say it's time). Give him a few weeks to come round, so he has time to adjust. You are all saying goodbye to a large part of your family history, and it's often the women in the family who are practical, while men can find it harder to deal with.
 
:( :( :(

I Know exactly how you feel.. Im in the very same situation as yourself right now we have an old mare in her 30's she has no teeth trouble chewing and isnt doing too well ... I think her time has come but its such a hard thing to do. My thoughts are with you. :(
 
My heart goes out to you - I was devastated when I had to let my old boy go, but he couldn't keep weight on in the winter, and didn't cope well through the summer, and his cancer was progressing by then ... he let me know when he had had enough.

My thoughts are with you.
 
I guess the old saying of better to let them go one day too early rather than one day too late really fit this situation. I hope your parents come around to letting the horse go with dignity and love.
 
I really feel for you so much.
Last night my best friend had to let her beloved 28yr old mare go. She taught us both to ride, took us to camp, she drove me to my wedding, she was one of those one in a million ponies - much like yours I am sure. She came down with laminitis in her back feet a month or 2 ago & suddenly went downhill & kept getting awful absesses.
I can honestly say, despite being heartbroken, that I wish the decision had been taken sooner. She had always been an incredibly healthy mare with barely a day off, and it breaks me to know that her last few months weren't painfree like they should have been.
Please, please, please, do the right thing for her before she gets to the point of any suffering - she deserves it. :(
 
Its easy to say to some one else the time has come, its so much harder to do it for your own. I think you have made the decision already and just remember, no matter how bad you feel now, you CAN take comfort in them having a good death. I know that sounds daft but I will be forever grateful that my mare went well, in a warm barn with the faces of the people who loved her the last thing she saw. She deserved it, after 23 years of loyal service.
 
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