I just want to share my thoughts. Cruel to be kind??

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Tory27

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I'm on a sticky stump with my old mare and just want to share my situation. I just need to talk to fellow horsey folk who I think will understand more than my non horsey family.
Basically I've an old mare whos now 26 been retired for the past 5 years, was my first horse from ponies and been with me for the last 17+ years. For the last 2 seasons shes had a cough. Vet came out over a year ago and she had pneumonia. Treated it and it cleared, but cough has never really left. All this aside she’s a happy healthy horse, brain is still 4 but body is her age has a stress free easy life. Farm was combining our fields this week, literally a fence between my field and cornfield; this added to the already dusty ground in the fields following the dry weather has caused this cough to worsen. I brought them all in last night to get them out of the wind and dust and my old mare was growling whilst breathing. I put my ear to her lungs and they are full of fluid, so god only knows what they’ll sound like through a stethoscope... On previous visits the vet has given her ventapulmin which is great but take her off it the cough / symptoms come straight back, they suggested an inhaler, shes an old woman (and headshy) she doesnt need the stress of an inhaler shoved on her nose. her stable is straw which I know ideally should be shavings but with my two other stables right next door in an open barn who are on straw I cant see shaving be too much of a benefit & plus my being able to afford them. I have decided I will call the vet to have a ‘hard’ discussion about what can be done, if anything? I have already decided I wont be going down the ventapulmin or inhaler route just cannot afford the costs of such meds just to prolong her life for my benefit . Do I just need to accept that this is a sign that shes had enough? I owe this horse the world and just want whatss best and if that’s for her to go over the horsey rainbow then i have to accept it. Brings me to tears just thinking about it, but im not sure what else i can do? Its the awful cruel to be kind situation. I’m so, so sad every time i look at her i feel guilty and just start welling up.
 
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Don't feel guilty, the decision you face is probably the worst thing about pet/horse ownership.

Chat with the vet and discuss your options, I personally think you are very brave as you are thinking about her quality of life and not prolonging it just for you.

There is no right or wrong answer here except that you know your horse.

*Hugs*
 
Having a horse pts is not cruel. The horse knows nothing about it. If you can't/choose not to pay for suitable bedding/treatment, keeping the horse going would be cruel, IMO. I quite understand that you don't want to stress her further with an inhaler etc and in your position, I would pts before she deteriorates further.
 
OP - you have my utmost sympathy. It's obviously such a hard decision to take, I think you are right though, a thorough chat with your vet first (hard though that will be) is a good starting point. Once you have the facts in front of you, rather than looking emotionally for the worst (which I always do without fail when anything goes wrong with my oldies) then you can think clearly about your options and go from there. If you do decide to go the pts route, then don't beat yourself up about it, your mare won't know what's going to happen and so she won't be worrying about it and you'll have the comfort that you've done the best you can for her and though you will hurt like hell for a while you have some lovely memories to look back on after all those years of fun and caring for her and those will come to the fore eventually.

Big hugs x x x
 
Always a difficult decision particularly when a horse has given you so much over the years - sending you a hug and all good wishes whatever you decide to do.
 
Not cruel at all, in fact, a very selfless and hard decision to make. In June I had my 18 year old put to sleep. He had been retired for many years due to a ligament injury, but had enjoyed life as a field companion/oversized hamster and given me lots of enjoyment over the years purely because he was lovely to have around. He had another health issue that I could tell was slowly deteriorating, so that was on the back of my mind, and then one day he came in very footy, completely out of nowhere.
Vet and farrier both agreed that although it wasnt presenting clinically as lami (no pulses, no heat, walked off etc) we would have to treat it as lami given then time of year etc. I decided to call it a day instead. I have absolutely no regrets and as hard as it was to put down a horse who looked otherwise extremely fit and well, I knew in my own mind that things were deteriorating (he also had cancer of his sheath and willy) and that inevitably I would be facing making this decision within 12 months regardless. I decided not to put him through the stress of box rest, when his field mates would be out, and the next day I had him put to sleep.

Sometimes the kindest thing we can do is put our own feelings aside and do what is in the best interests of the animal.
 
Thank you all so much for such loverly comments and thoughts. I have called the vet who is coming tomorrow moring. I've briefly told them over the phone what the appointments for and they fully understand. I think once the vet visit out the way my decicion will be that mcuh easier, although one of the hardest.
 
I was reading the first post, and thinking it might be the right time. It is not a short term problem, if the cough started next year. You have given her a lovely retirement before now. And there is no point paying money to most likely have to make the decision in a years time.

Sending my horsey love over to you, and hope the vet makes it easy for you.
 
Just couldn't pass this thread by without saying how sorry I am for you in your situation OP, know what its like, have been there, and will be there again in the near'ish future unfortunately with my lovely little mare who's got arthritis ..... :(

You're doing the right thing, taking vet advice, thinking of her welfare, and making the kindest choice.

She'll thank you for it, a happy peaceful passing is the most precious gift we can give to our four-footed friends. Thinking of you and sending hugs.
 
We're lucky we can make such tough decisions where need be for our animals,hard though it is to put our feelings to one side and do what in our hearts we know is the right thing for them. Thinking of you xx
 
Really feel for you. Such a hard thing to do but I consider it to be the last kindness and most respectful thing we can do for our animals at the end. Better a day early than a day too late. x
 
Sorry you are in this situation OP, I had the same thing with my old girl. She had quite serious COPD (ROA) which was brought on by pollen (tree, grass and flower !). She was retired, looked fab had no other real health issues but during the summer had these problems with her breathing. She was on a steroid inhaler etc etc but in the end it stopped having much of an impact and I had to make this very painful decision, she was struggling with each breath as we tried to find something that would ease the symptoms ... her facial expression gave me all the support I needed, her sparkle had gone :-(
Be strong, you know your horse ... ((big hugs))
 
The vast majority of us who keep their horses long term come to this point , it's certainly not cruel to do what your considering .
Its a horrible thing to go through but I always find this time the hardest once the deed is done and its over I find it easier than I think I will .
 
Sorry to read your post.
My old mare had been medicated for Cushings for many years and was ridden almost to the end. Aged 29 she suffered a serious bout of Laminitis and I made the decision to put her down at home because I did not want her suffering pain and discomfort. I believe it was the best decision but still feel sad to this day that I lost her as to me she was one in a million as anyone could ride her and she would bring them back safely.
You know your horse and I am sure that you will make the right decision.
 
Whatever you decide, call the vet today as a horse with bad breathing is in distress, so don't leave it a day or tow before calling.
 
As an asthmatic i can hand on heart say there is nothing more scary than breathing difficulties. Coughing wears you out and I'm on the best medications i can be. I have pts a pony with awful breathing issues and i felt such relief for her once she was gone. Hugs x
 
Didn't want to read and run OP, my heart goes out to you this is always the worst part of having an animal. She sounds like she's had a wonderful life and it would be better for her to go feeling well than let her deteriorate and then feel crap. Please let us know what the vet says?
 
If I had three horses but could not afford to provide good care for the evolving needs of the oldest then I'd be looking to sell one of the others and change my management. Any horae can get expensive at any point and so if you don't want to have to have it destroyed you need a financial buffer zone.

If you choose not to then pts becomes kinder than sub optimal management at some point.

I think the decison at end of life, without a financial factor, is hard. Your decision is harder because of the additional motivations you need to justify to yourself/come to terms with.
 
She's a lucky girl that you are prepared to make this decision at the right time. She'd thank you if she could. Take some comfort from that.
 
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