I know its silly but....

misst

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My little JRT has been by my side for thirteen and a half years. She has been my little shadow and little comforter in all ways. I got her when my youngest left home as my empty nest filler. She is gentle and kind with all the family.
She has had a lot of health problems which she has come through over the years.
She has been bright bouncy and full of life always even when quite unwell.
Lately she has been developing cateracts, high blood pressure and what my vet kindly calls congnitive decline.
She is physically strong and eats well but she now is weeing in the house with the occasional poo even when the doors are open and she can go outside easily. She is not distressed by this and seems unaware that this is not good. We do not tell her off but this is not normal for her. I do not think it is "naughtiness"
She is frail to look at and is not keen to walk some days but when she does walk she will keep going for an hour or more - following the wrong people/going the wrong way/getting lost if she is off lead!
She is not in pain (vet is sure of this) she does not have kidney failure at the moment, has no infections and is very food orientated. However when there is no food around she is not interested in anything really. She sleeps and stares into space. Sometimes she is agitated but we seem unable to settle her. Sometimes she seems to hallucinate. Once she seemed to be almost attacking our younger terrier - growling pouncing and driving him out of the room. They have always been good friends.
I suppose all of this is leading up to the question - is it time? If she had pain it would be easy. However to be honest regular weeing pooing in the house is not really on indefinitely. I look at her physically and think how can I do this. However she is almost not the dog I knew - I feel awful saying this - she has lost her personality. I have Christmas in my head and think maybe in the new year we will call it a day. Then I meet people on dog walks who know her who say but she is walking and eating how can you do this? I am so upset at the idea of doing the wrong thing.
Anyone on here been through something similar? My old dog previously went off her legs suddenly and was obviously not going to recover so it was an easy decision but physically my little one seems reasonably ok. However I hate that she rarely wags her tail now.
Vet says he agrees no interventions and he doesn't think we will lose her through physical illness - but he thinks the dementia will be the deciding factor. He has said he will tell me if he feels we have held on too long but otherwise he will support any decision I make.
Sorry for the long ramble but need to think out loud tonight...
thanks x
 

Nicnac

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Poor little mite. Cognitive decline is so hard on you but she's probably for the most part unaware of the changes although if she is hallucinating and having 'vacant' moments it may be frightening for her. I think your decision will depend on the speed of her decline and the decision may be made for you if she's distressed or becomes aggressive.

A really hard one OP but you'll know when it's time.
 

{97702}

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I’m very sorry but yes I would make the decision to have her PTS ☹️ I’m well aware that many will not agree with me, but when I realised my little greyhound was ‘existing’ rather than ‘living’ following a stroke in April I knew the time was right for her 😊 The fact your little dog has lost her personality says it all to me, and all the other personality issues you describe.......god knows I know just how hard it is having lost 3 oldies in less than 2 years ☹️ I’m so sorry ☹️☹️ Xx
 

misst

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I hope so. She's been such a darling all her life and I feel so guilty even considering ending her life. She owes me nothing.
 

misst

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Levrier I kind of know this. I just wonder if it is selfish as she's not actively "suffering". But then I think maybe she is...
Thank you it helps to know others have had the same deciisons to make.
 

Pearlsasinger

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I haven't had a dog with similar problems but I think if I did I would feel that the dog's quality of life was compromised. TBH, I doubt that I would wait until after Christmas to make the decision. In my head Christmas is far enough away that it wouldn't forever be associated with losing the dog. IME, the owner feels better after the agonising is over and the deed is done, while the dog knows nothing about it but is no longer struggling with whatever the problem was.

I really wouldn't discuss your decision with all sundry that you meet out walking, they don't know your dog like you do - and they aren't the ones having to clean up after her everyday.
 

OlderNotWiser

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My wirehair Daxi became like this at 14. It’s very sad to witness. Sadly he suddenly went downhill very fast, ate only sporadically so lost weight and frequently seemed lost and confused. He never seemed happy. His decline in the last 2 weeks was quite scary and tbh I now wish I had acted sooner as I worry that he was so confused at the end. It’s never an easy decision, thinking of you at this difficult time.
 

alibali

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It's not silly at all, having just lost a much loved friend I know how heart wrenching it is. Ours was an easy decision as decline into pain would have been swift and intervention invasive and bringing only brief respite. Much more difficult to make a decision when things are less clear cut. I recommend using a quality of life questionnaire to help look at things objectively. https://www.lapoflove.com/Quality-of-Life/Quality-of-Life-Scoring-Tools
 

{97702}

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Levrier I kind of know this. I just wonder if it is selfish as she's not actively "suffering". But then I think maybe she is...
Thank you it helps to know others have had the same deciisons to make.

That has caught a nerve tonight, I’m now bawling my eyes out and my poor lurchers are trying to comfort me lol! But despite that I know it was rhe right choice, because it was the decision for Flick not for me.... I possibly could have have still have her here with me if I’d been a different sort of person, but that’s just not me.

I’m genuinely so sorry you are in this position, I know I have it again before too long with Amy lurcher (13 years old) and George terrierist (11 years old) and I’m bloody dreading it already ☹️
 

Mrs. Jingle

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Heartbreaking to find yourself with an elderly pooch with full on dementia. I found myself in this position about 3 years ago with my JRT and have to confess I now knowthat I definitely left it more than a day too late - but his symptoms of dementia were further advanced than your little terrorist. The only honest answer I can give you is that I wish I could turn back the clock and made that decision for him far sooner than I did, he was a grand little chap all his life and to have left him until he peed and messed his bed and didn't even know and was content to lie in the stink and dirt and could hardly stand let alone walk was truly unforgivable on my part :(
 

misst

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Thanks everyone.
Alibali she scores for concern on both of these which are helpful to put things in perspective. I think I have some hard decisions to make.

PaS I don't mind associating xmas with loss - we've lost horses and people at all times of the year :-( I think its more that I'm putting it off in the hope something will nudge me into the decision. Wrong I know as I do believe in " a day too soon is better than a moment too late". I think pathetically I am wondering what people will think - in the end you're right they aren't cleaning up after her. More importantly they aren't worrying about her.

I think this is helping me to see things clearly.
 

{97702}

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Lev I'm sorry to bring that back. But you've helped me.
Sometimes I just need some wise advice even though I think I made my decision.
I will go and have a little moment now x

No need to be sorry, it’s just me being silly - it was the right choice every single time, I just miss her so much ❤️
 

splashgirl45

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so sorry, we had an old mongrel and she knew she needed to go but would poo on her way out to the garden, she always seemed tired and when she didnt want to go for a walk , we only did about 10 mins, we decided her QOL was not good and PTS, its never easy but if you concentrate on QOL it may be easier to decide....you know your dog so take no notice of anyone else
 

misst

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Yes splashgirl I think I needed some calm advice from everyone here. She is asleep on my husbands lap at the moment. It is the only bit of her normal old behavour left. She always curls up on him every evening as soon as he sits down bless her. Some days are better than others but we are slowly going from 90% good 10% bad to 50/50 so I am feeling the time approaching. I will miss her little face so much.
 

Hexx

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I have the same thing with my old boy. He's nearly 15 and is starting to look old.

He has a cataract and his hearing is going, but he is still bright in himself, eating well, no incontinence and his little tail is wagging constantly and he can put on turn of speed when he wants to! He does sometimes bump into things, but I have solved this with nightlights in strategic places around the house, so he can see where he is going!

I am just dreading the day - as like you Misst, I have had him since he was 5 months old and he's been a smashing little dog.

Hopefully his decline will be slow and we can have a few more months together.
 

Cinnamontoast

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This was exactly our position with Brig. Cognitive decline, going blind, almost completely deaf, incontinent but still food motivated, finding it difficult to get up and sometimes needing to be lifted to his feet. You hit the nail on the head when you said the personality is gone. This was exactly my feeling with big dog.

He wasn’t himself anymore, staring vacantly, unable to extricate himself from a very simple bramble. That made my decision for me, him standing helplessly, not knowing how to move forwards. He was pts that night, nearly 16. We could have kept him going, but I think that would have been selfish and for us, not for him. I think it’s a horrible dilemma, but I would have done it earlier if it had been my decision alone.

Quality of life is all important. We can sympathise, OP, but we can’t make that call for you, but it sounds like you’ve been helped with a decision on this thread.
 

Beausmate

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"However she is almost not the dog I knew...However I hate that she rarely wags her tail now."

I think you know what to do.

It is so hard, but it is worse to feel you left it too long.
 

misst

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Thanks everyone and yes I do know that I need to do this sooner rather than later. She has of course just had a couple of really good days where she has looked more like her old self and even wagged her tail more than usual lately....
I swear she knows as she is not weeing in the house again and is less vacant than she has been. However, as soon as she dips again I will do this. I do know this will not last but I will enjoy her swansong and thanks to everyone on here for understanding and helping me to understand this is about her and not me or anyone else.
Wish me a good few days/weeks with her and I will update when the time comes.
 
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