I know this is irrational..

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rachk89

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But it really annoys me when others try to give me their ideas on how I should train my horse.

Tonight I was going to ride my horse, but I was lacking time so just decided to lunge him. When I got him to the school, I found someone who was gonna watch putting out poles and stuff for me to go over even though I said I was just doing flatwork, all because she wanted me to do an exercise for jumping. Normally this wouldn't bother me, but tonight for some reason it made me so angry.

I know its irrational and she didn't mean any harm really (although she is known to try to tell people how to work their horses). Just after a semi bad lesson the day before, I didn't react well to basically in my head being told I am not capable of training my horse and must be told what to work on.

It is stupid me getting angry like this and I have calmed down, just wanted to see if anyone else would react in the same way, and to rant and get it off my chest.
 
Tbh, unless I'd asked/paid for their opinion and were satisfied with their advice, I wouldn't give 2 hoots about their thoughts on the matter and would brush it off, regardless if the advice was well intentioned or not. :)

ETA: Unless of course their advice was golden, then I'd be happy for someone to be going out of their way to help/advise when they didn't have to! :)
 
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Cheers guys. :-) nice to know I ain't the only one who hates it. Just hate being told I need to do more jumping/hacking when I don't particularly like either of them.
 
you don't have to justify yourself to anyone. I would have just said 'thanks but i've a plan im working for flatwork' and left it at that
 
My horse and I both have a scary don't mess with me personas and we have never been troubled by unsolicited advise. I'm seriously considering putting my inner frosty witch to work and offering riders lessons in how to repel unwanted input into their training or horse management in general :-D
 
Your horse, your decisions as to what you want to do with him. That person should not have started putting out poles for you without asking you if you wanted anything doing. I can understand why you were annoyed. When my wife or daughter are going to school in the arena I always ask what they will be doing & if they want any equipment out, poles, cavaletti, jumps & if so where they want them. Most times they do want something put out but sometimes they just want an empty arena.
 
look on the positive side as she will have learned not to try and tell you what to do so will back off in the future. just get on and do wht you want and be firm with her if she tries to influence what you do
 
pansymouse said:
My horse and I both have a scary don't mess with me personas and we have never been troubled by unsolicited advise. I'm seriously considering putting my inner frosty witch to work and offering riders lessons in how to repel unwanted input into their training or horse management in general :-D
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I've got this too! I'm sure other liveries talk about my ability, my horse's ability, how I do stuff etc, as they talk about everybody else. But nobody has ever suggested I could do t better their way!
 
I'd politely tell her, in no uncertain terms, to butt out and if you want her help or advice then you will seek her out. Smile whilst you're saying it. Not in a crazy way though. Or maybe in a crazy way :D

pansymouse said:
My horse and I both have a scary don't mess with me personas and we have never been troubled by unsolicited advise. I'm seriously considering putting my inner frosty witch to work and offering riders lessons in how to repel unwanted input into their training or horse management in general :-D
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Hehe - I have this too. It's probably a good job I'm on a very small private yard, just me and YO's 4 horses and no one else.
 
Illusion100 said:
Tbh, unless I'd asked/paid for their opinion and were satisfied with their advice, I wouldn't give 2 hoots about their thoughts on the matter and would brush it off, regardless if the advice was well intentioned or not. :)

ETA: Unless of course their advice was golden, then I'd be happy for someone to be going out of their way to help/advise when they didn't have to! :)
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This!
Try to let it flow over you and if possible feel sorry for her that she hasn't got a life of her own and feels a need to interfere in yours. It wouldn't worry me if someone else tried to interfere as I know what I am doing with my own horses and can argue the hindleg off a donkey about it if they think i am wrong, so they would get bored long before i did and probably not bother again -LOL :)
Only other point is, your post isn't quite clear as to whether the lesson the day before was from her or someone else. If her, then she probably thought she was doing a favour giving you another lesson for free. So I would toss a 'thanks but no thanks' smile in there too as I asked her to put them away. If not her, then I would politely say that i was getting lessons from someone else and didn't want to confuse my poor feeble brain with too many different instructions.
Keep calm and keep making jokes. Life is too short to worry what others think (except of course for golden advice Illusion suggests).
 
Why would your be angry ?why would you not say no thanks I just want to lunge without poles today .
Life to short for all this silliness .
 
This is why I love our yard - only 3 horses there, the yo just lets us get on with things and the other owner I've only seen a handful of times since her yearling moved onto the land in July. Lovely and quiet with absolutely no interference from anyone, lovely!
 
Wkiwi: nah she isn't an instructor was a visiting show jumping coach that I got the lesson from. It's not like he even should be doing jumping or pole work everyday he is only 6 and hasn't even been ridden for a full year yet and he is half warmblood. He still has growing time and needs to mature not rushing and breaking him.

I ain't angry anymore think she just caught me on a bad day and I snapped. I didn't say anything nasty to her was just saying nasty things in my head haha.

She was trying to pressure me to do more than just walking with him tonight too but I firmly told her no. He had lost a shoe and even though the surface has carpet on it he has quite sensitive hooves so was walking only and doing circles that kind of thing. Trotting could have made him lame and I am sick of him being lame not taking the risk haha. She understood though I think.
 
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