I need a bit of a reality check

J_sarahd

J_sarahd

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Prefacing this by saying Shadow will never be sold! Which is what makes this more difficult.

I’m feeling very unmotivated at the moment and that I want a bit of a break from horses. I obviously love Shadow and care deeply about him but he hasn’t been easy recently and I’m constantly worrying about every single thing he does.

I think there is a part of me that’s ready to close the chapter on owning horses. It’s not been fun for the past 3 years and yes there have been moments of fun, that’s been heavily outweighed by the constant worrying. I thought buying Shadow would change that but it hasn’t.

What would people do in this situation? Shadow has a history of PSD and has to have corrective shoeing. He’s 6 and only really hacking at the moment. I feel completely and utterly selfish, and I know that this time of year ruins everyone’s motivation, but I am struggling. I can’t express how much I do love Shadow and he will always come first (which is why I’ve not whacked him up for sale already).
 
J_sarahd said:
Prefacing this by saying Shadow will never be sold! Which is what makes this more difficult.

I’m feeling very unmotivated at the moment and that I want a bit of a break from horses. I obviously love Shadow and care deeply about him but he hasn’t been easy recently and I’m constantly worrying about every single thing he does.

I think there is a part of me that’s ready to close the chapter on owning horses. It’s not been fun for the past 3 years and yes there have been moments of fun, that’s been heavily outweighed by the constant worrying. I thought buying Shadow would change that but it hasn’t.

What would people do in this situation? Shadow has a history of PSD and has to have corrective shoeing. He’s 6 and only really hacking at the moment. I feel completely and utterly selfish, and I know that this time of year ruins everyone’s motivation, but I am struggling. I can’t express how much I do love Shadow and he will always come first (which is why I’ve not whacked him up for sale already).
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Give him a holiday. It’ll take the pressure off you.
 
I'm in the same mindset at the moment,
so I know how you feel. I allowed a family member to keep her pony at mine, with the idea that she would poo pick (a job I hate) and I'd feed hers when I did mine, so she only had to come once a day. What's actually happened is that partly due to her health, but mostly due to her laziness, I've ended up doing everything, so twice the work. There's loads more to it, which I won't go
into, but the pony has to go. I keep thinking who'd want a pony at this time of the year though? I've lost any sense of joy in being at my lovely little yard and am just hanging on until Spring in the hope that things look better then. Mine aren't even ridden ponies, so I have less
options than you do OP.



Alibear said:
Couple of options, turn away for a length of time if his rehab permits, so look for a full retirement / grass livery yard and he can just go be a horse for a bit and you can have a break to regroup and rethink.
Or look for a long term/permanent loan home, plenty of people just want to hack.
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Sorry OP, I didn't mean to go on about my problems, but these options sound like they could work. You don't have to do anything permanent yet, but one of these options could give you a breather.
 
Last month a lady at my yard sent her hacking / very low level RC horse on loan. I think he's about 6. She had wanted to ride him occasionally and watch a friend compete him. Sadly he was not going to be good enough for competition and she found she didn't enjoy riding him.
Now apparently she's enjoying the break and being free of the stress. Perhaps she'll get another horse in the future perhaps not but the break will have given her time to decide.
I don't know what will be the best choice for you but giving yourself a breather from horse care seems a very good idea.
 
My horses have the winter off every year. I don’t enjoy riding in crappy weather and putting pressure on myself to fit in riding during the short days is stressful, so I don’t do it. They start their holiday when the clocks go back and I start bringing them back into work in February. We all enjoy the break and I look forward to starting riding again rather than finding it a long hard slog through winter.

Give yourself a break for a few months and see how you feel.
 
I hear you, I’ve been feeling similar for a few years, after 18 years straight doing if all myself I’m definitely ready for a break from horses, both of mine are retired so I can’t loan out, but is that something you would consider for a time period and see how you get on? Or maybe even a sharer?
My boys will be with me until the end, but somedays that feels a very long way off even at 25 and 21yrs old.
Be kind to yourself, winter really is tough, sometimes just giving both your horse and yourself some time off can work wonders.
 
Alibear said:
Couple of options, turn away for a length of time if his rehab permits, so look for a full retirement / grass livery yard and he can just go be a horse for a bit and you can have a break to regroup and rethink.
Or look for a long term/permanent loan home, plenty of people just want to hack.
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this
 
If he’s back in work and you don’t want to sell him, I’m sure there are plenty of people who would loan a relatively sensible, kind pony! In fact you’d probably have your hand bitten off.

Loads of horses have or have had PSD, it’s not a write off.

Another option is a sharer? I put it off for ages as I’m so precious about Rocky but it’s been a godsend. I no longer have to worry about riding if I can’t be bothered as I know he’ll be hacked twice a week, he gets extra attention and I get two mornings off a week.

There are definitely times of late that I’ve really wanted a permanent break from horses, it’s exhausting and such hard work so I really understand how you feel.
 
I'm sorry to hear this. Horses are such a commitment, aren't they? It's so difficult to get a break from them. It's really hard to know what to do for the best as he has this issue and needs corrective farriery. I'm really not sure what I would do in your shoes. It's a really tricky one as if you loan him out and they overwork him, he could get worse and leave you with an even bigger problem. I think I would keep going with the corrective shoeing and do groundwork/long-reining to fitten him up and strengthen his core (or pay someone else to do it for you), and keep him ticking over till spring rather than turning him away or loaning him out. Spring is hopefully 12 or 14 weeks away and if you can just get to the longer evenings and warmer weather, things may feel more hopeful. Sorry - this option doesn't give you a break from the situation but he may be stronger and more of a loan prospect by spring.
 
Thanks everyone - lots of great advice. Obviously nothing will be done until after Christmas now anyway.

In terms of giving him time off, that’s probably the easiest option. However, I’ll still have to come up every day and do jobs unless he goes on full grass livery (but then I can’t keep my livery space if I decide to bring him back into work). Plus, I feel guilty having put all that time and money into rehab.

I think the idea of getting a sharer is a good one. We have some really lovely hacking round here and he is (mostly) sensible, just occasionally has a sharp moment or gets a bit tense - but I wouldn’t be after a novice sharer anyway. I think my only issue of a sharer is that sometimes I have to feed the two ponies he shares a field with, which I’d feel cheeky asking a sharer to do.

I sound like I’m making up excuses but I’m really not. I do genuinely want the best thing for Shadow and right now, I don’t think I’m it.
 
My old sharer used to bring my other horse in and put her to bed! (I worked shifts and it evolved to this over time) Feeding a couple isn’t much of an ask.

Said sharer now has horse on full loan and has done so for many years so it obviously didn’t put her off.
 
yup my owner has 2 on diy, I usually do sole charge of both on a saturday so she gets a proper day off. The advantage is that other than the saturday on my days I only have to go one end of the day not both.
 
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