I need a boot up the bum :(

Equus Leather

Equus Leather

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ARGH - I'm so annoyed with myself.

Had my loan horse for a few days now and she's been a total star, can't fault her at all. She's quite forward going and I'm quite nervous of it, tbh I'm scared. Today we went for a walk out and she was feeling very pleased to be out and all I wanted to do was get off. She wasn't even being bad, just the odd jog and stuff. Came back and went in the school and I feel like such a pathetic waste of space. She spooked at some dogs and I got off and put her away. I then sat and cried for a good 10 mins. This is supposed to be fun
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I'm also too scared to canter her. What a complete idiot I am. When do the nerves go away?
 
How much did you try her before you agreed to take her?

What I mean is perhaps you just dont know what she is like yet so are worrying about what she might do.

However, she is in a new home and she needs to be feeling confidence from you right now to help her settle in.


My OH had a couple of confidence issues the other day on Lance, you know what a slug he is in the school but he is getting fit now, and on a hack he is a different horse, well Lance spent the entire hack jogging, napping, trying to take off, walking sideways, basically not acting like an 18yr old! My OH had never experienced this side of Lance before, because he as only ridden him on shorter hacks and while Lance has been unfit, however, he had the advantage that he KNOWS Lance, and so took confidence from that, and in the end, loved the new forward going Lance!

Perhaps you should just get to know her on the ground for now, I beleive she has been out of work for a while anyway so its not like her fitness will suffer, there is no rush to get on her back!

Perhaps have someone else ride her in front of you so you can see she wont do anything.
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or ride out with another quiet horse.
 
This may sound odd but keep a note of what you have done each day eg walked up road she was a good girl passed scarey bin. Lead out well to field. Make a note of your feelings felt scared but managed to trot . I had a horse I was scared to ride and writing it down helped and when you look back you can see how far you have come.

Making notes of the small things soon add up to a big thing and make you smile.

Good luck
 
Lunge before you ride? When I had a 4 yo, I got bucked off every time I went near it, & a good dose of Mr Lungeing Rein really worked wonders.

A good lunge takes the tickle out of their feet, so when you get on they're more relaxed, then because they're more relaxed, you feel more confident.
 
If you're that scared of her, id personally be sticking to the school until you have the confidence with her.

However as st_bernard said, how much did you try her before you agree'd to take her on? Nerves dont usually just vanish by themselves (in my experience) and if you're as scared of her as it sounds, you're going to have to take some very strong action to ensure it doesnt get worse.
 
{{{hugs}}}

Maybe just ride in the school and with others for now? A week isn't a long time to get to know each other.

Maybe even back off the riding for a few days and just spend time with her.
 
just take it easy, you have nothing to prove, just take her for a walk in hand then the next day walk a circle, dont hack out alone and keep it fun, you will be fine! good Luck!
 
Do you have anyone you can hack with?

When I had Patches I was a bit nervous too. She was a little bit silly initially, but I can't blame her. She'd been with Lucy (her previous owner) for four years so moving to a new yard, new rider was always going to be unsettling for her.

I stuck to hacking in company for about 6 weeks with sedate horses. She was fine. It gave us the opportunity to get to know each other without any pressure. I then schooled in company, following the other horses, for a bit before realising my confidence had grown and I wanted to do more things alone.....meaning I didn't want to have to wait for someone to ride with me, I was keen to get going!

Give it time.
 
Youre not alone, so did i when i first rode Mr W. He scared me stiff and i often cried and dreaded going out on him, felt so over horsed.

Took six months of keeping going and taking little steps together. As he trusted me more and vice versa, it came together for us both.

Love him to bits now and would never swop him and we trust each other. He doesn't run off now and i have got him into a snaffle after him being ridden in a pelham for years. He was just green and so nervous, so time, experience, schooling and try, try again have been the answer
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Keep trying and don't give up and hopefully you and your horsey will be as happy as me and Mr W
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You're definatly not alone, when i had only owned my horse for a couple of months, i had to stop riding her as every time we came out of walk she was off and i couldn't get her back!
A friend rode her for me for a while, then one day i just thought - i have this lovely horse and someone else is getting the enjoyment i should be getting, so i jumped on and took her for a walk round the school, fine, next day i went for a walk up the farm track and back - i just built it up from there. 6 years on there is no stopping us, i know her so well now almost nothing surprises me!
You will get there, it just takes time, i'd do small amounts in walk in a school building it up as you both get more confident in each other. Very best of luck !
 
I went through a spell last year when my horse was frightening the life out of me when I hacked him. I'd had him for 3 years and he wasn't any worse behaved that before but he'd had a couple of months off with an injury and I'd just lost a bit of confidence. I kept trying to take him where he's been badly behaved to make him behave better and getting more frightened until a friend pointed out to me that we didn't actually have to go there until I felt more confident.
We've had more injury problems and I've spent a lot more time lunging and schooling and this weekend I rode him along the road and bridleway where we had problems before for the first time since last year. He was a bit naughty on the bridleway but having done more groundwork I wasn't worried this time and even enjoyed myself.
Spend time with your horse doing the things you are comfortable doing whether that's lunging, schooling or hacking in company. You've only had her 5 mins and these things do take time. At the end of the day you can always send a loan horse back if you can't resolve the problems but it is worth trying first as any horse will probably test you out a bit until you know each other.
Good luck!
 
I was nervous of my horse when I first got him. I think I always have been a bit nervous of all my new ones. Once you get to know them and realise they are not going to buck you off at the slightest thing, you will relax.
Dont stress over it...just take it step by step and you will be fine.
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Thanks for all your replies. I'm sure in time it will get easier. The writing down the small successes is a good idea, I like that. Today for instance, I got some really nice bend work from her and we had some good transitions, so not all bad.
 
[ QUOTE ]
I feel the need to post it for all to see
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[/ QUOTE ]

Oh no! You're just like that Dubble person...
That's it...I'm going to find out where you ride, and hide in the hedge with my maracas, to spring out when you pass by.
S
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[ QUOTE ]
I laugh in the face of your maracas.

[/ QUOTE ]

If your horse is anything like mine, you could laugh in the face of an entire brass band, triangle and maracas....but it would be the single small leaf blowing across the road in the wind that would cause her to have a nervous breakdown.
S
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I still feel nervous with my boy and I have had him for over 18 months now. He never does anything major - has never bucked or reared - he can just be a bit stupid out on hacks, jogging sideways and spinning - mostly happens in the winter I have noticed. It is all me - somewhere along the line I have lost my confidence, in fact I think I lost it before I bought him TBH - he doesn't have a malicious bone in his body and is an angel in all other ways apart from getting fizzy from time to time - but never the less I am still nervous! It is more the thought of getting on and the scenario building I do in my head, all the things that could go wrong - once I am riding I am fine - so, I am not sure what to suggest, but my nerves haven't left me yet - I am hoping that with time they will as we trust each other more and I make more of an effort to chill out. It does make me wonder whether I will ever not be nervous with him though.
 
I was nervous with my first horse (I had a pony before and wasn't nervous with that) and I never really got over my nerves in 12 months I'm afraid. I sold him in the end because I wasn't making any progress with him. My current pony is brilliant and has never, ever given me any cause to be nervous in the four months I've owned her.

It's just a thought but maybe this isn't the right horse for you? I think time will tell and if it is a loan horse you can always send it back if you don't gel I assume? I am not saying you should give up straight away so please don't think that is what I am advising but I personally don't believe in persevering with a horse that doesn't give you the fun that you want. I bought my current pony sight unseen but I knew from the first moment that I sat on her that she was right for me. I didn't get that feeling with my WB and the bond never did develop.
 
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