I need a kick up the bum... anyone?

N

NewHeights_SJ

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www.newheights-showjumping.co.uk
I'm feeling really deflated today
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(it might be because i have a cold... or maybe im just hormonal!)...

Anyway, i have two great horses but sometimes i feel like im just not good enough. Im desperate to succeed and perhaps thats why every now and then i feel like this... i guess i just wondered if anyone else feels the same? I ride both of mine 6 days a week, including a lesson from my trainer and most weeks a show too. I really feel like im trying my hardest - but sometimes i get off and just feel
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Does anyone wonder if they'll ever achieve what they are aiming for? Or if you've set the bar too high? I guess it is more difficult for those of us that aren't professionals!

I had considered getting a riding job (just a few days a week) for more experience but i know they are few and far between... plus - ive never really considered myself good enough! It doesnt help that ive been looking for sponsors recently too, but ive had about as much success as boiling water in a chocolate kettle
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I realise this post is a little self pitying...
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... but i just wondered if anyone else feels this way? AND how the hell do i get myself out of it?! haha...
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Sorry for the ramble...

N xx
 
I always wander whether i will ever get there... and with the weather and now stupid cough it means that we now aren't out competing, although we had been doing really well getting placings etc.
I never think i set the bar too high, if it was too easy to reach then i would be bored.. so i set the long term goal high but have smaller goals to get there... first step, competing a whole season at Open level (PC) i WILL do it this year!
how to get out of it? go and win a class even if its small, makes you feel better about yourself!
 
i know how you feel, my aims are to compete at newcomers - but currently i dont know if i will get there...some days i feel very deflated and im not good enough for my horses, usually after a bad round or bad schooling session.

but i think the trick is to try and remember WHY you ride and comepte - its because we ENJOY it (hopefully) - and if your not enjoying it, then move down a level until you are enjoying it, and move back up. whatever is necessary, just make sure you are enjoying it.

when i feel particularly groggy about myself...i just try and remember im doing it for fun (as im definitely not a pro and never will be, it is a hobby/sport for me...but not a career) - and i try not to set my goals too high - otherwise i end up feeling that i will never get there...try and create realistic goals closer to you, and once you reach them, then make bigger goals...do it in steps
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oh and btw...your an amazing rider, i always watch your YT videos, your horses are fab and so are you
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xxxx
 
me! i can often feel like this, especially after a particularly bad session, i feel like my horse deserves better than me and that im trying to get to a higher level than i really can.
also, im a little bit competitive and can get quietly jealous, which in some ways is good as i work harder, but sometimes can leave me deflated when i see everyone else merrily trotting round looking very good
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i think you just have to remember you do it because you enjoy it, and life is full of its good and bad times. always remember that the bad times only happen so it makes the good ones seem reallyy good! nobody got to where they were going without a lot of knockbacks and everyone needs a lot of grit and determination to succeed. a good instructor who you can talk openly to will help, if you feel like this tell them, they will point out some of your good points and next time you feel like this, think of these and you'll soon be smiling again!
 
**BOOT**
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seriously though, i know what you mean...i think its the same regardless of what level you are competing at...there will always be someone else who is better than you and then if you are a slightly negative person then you let it get to you...
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i'm the same but nowhere near at the same level as you...if it makes you feel any better i would love to ride half as well as you do
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Hey, Some days I never want to see a horse again!!! You can only do your best and sometimes I have to take a step back and look at what I have and how lucky I am. Sometimes it all gets too much like hard work and you need to remember why you are doing it. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself and think about enjoying it rather than it being work or a chore. There will be plenty of people who are jealous of you and how much you have achieved and I think we set ourselves higher standards and don't appreciate how well we are doing.
Sometimes I have to tell myself that I love this job and I am lucky!
Try it!
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www.livetoevent.blogspot.com
 
After my horse was pts i seriously thought about not getting another because i felt and still do feel, i will never be good enough. Any horse i get will be wasted, ruined and i will just not be good enough.
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I have ambitions but not unrealistic ones but i lost all confidence in my ability and felt i'll never do it.
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I've realised that i love competing, not just at shows but all the stuff that goes with it, i remebered that i had fun when i did it before.
If like me you are a slightly negative person then your going to feel like this. You have to make yourself look at the positives and have people around you who remind you of them aswell. I always tried to set my goals as realisticlly as i could based on what i knew at the time. Just because you dont think you cant do it know doesnt mean you'll never be able to.
You are a good rider with fab horses, have a bit of faith and just enjoy yourself.
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If you do decide to give up could you just pop Artic in the post to me, ta muchly
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You ride both your ponies BRILLIANTLY!!!

Consider yourself KICKED
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Everyone with horses is depressed at this time of year, esp with the weather being so awful.

Your next show report will be lots of double clears and rosettes - I am sure of it, and not sure anyone is finding sponsors at the moment so I wouldn't let that get you down.

Fiona
 
N i speak as one who has been there, done it, got the tee-shirt when it comes to over-analysing my results
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Last week i read your report about how you'd gone clear in the British Open Amateur qualifier....and before that you were reporting on your success in qualifying for the Hickstead Amateur Finals last July. The last time we met at a show (some 18 months ago at Towerlands) you were having a torrid time in Discovery classes ! Looks at how far you have come !

I'm gonna be a little tough now and say that if you haven't made it to the top yet, you probably never will....but that doesn't mean you can't be bl**dy successful at the top-level of amateur competition. Sure there'll be good days and bad...but that's horses....if you're riding 6 days a week then maybe take a break !? You'd be amazed how fresh you come back after a little time out. Set yourself some realistic goals for the season ahead...perhaps British Open Amateur or HOYS Amateur Finals...with a backup plan of qualifying for the 1.15m National Amateur Finals as well.

Small (but significant) steps
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*kicks up the backside*

stop being and silly and enjoy you ponies from what I have seen you are doing fantstic with both of them.

And if you still feel like poo please feel free to send Artic my way
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i think if you ask anyone who competes seriously (IE with goals as opposed to for fun) you will find we all feel like this from time to time.

you need to find the happy medium between a goal that challeneges you and one that is impossible to acheive and leaves you feeling deflated.......i know im never going to be a top professional dressage rider, i dont have the backing and im too old now at 26 to seriously think i can make it against those that have been born in to either a horsey or big money family, but.......i AM going to produce my own horse to national GP level and continue to train people and help people produce their horses, whilst keeping my 9-5 job, and that i think is VERY acheivable, and drives me to work harder and harder.

you are clearly a talented and driven rider, with two fab horses, so yes aim high, but aim realistically high-the amateur finals sound like a good one to aim for, and that could then help you secure sponsors.
 
Completely understand where you are coming from. Ive had to take a step back and look at things realistically because of money etc over the last 12mnths, and as a result am actually a lot happier and enjoying my horse more as a result. I used to be desperate to get to x level by x time, and was forgetting to enjoy the bits in between and look realistically how much was being acheived in between.

I've still got the same goals, but am more realistic about them and am enjoying working towards them, with the ups and the downs
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Relax, enjoy and stop hassling yourself! You are very good at what you do, and as Rambo said, have improved immensely! Just be more realistic about timeframes etc...
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