I need a push!

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HollyhedgePippa

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Ive had my mare for nearly 7 months now and really should be out jumping her as that's what I bought her to do but I'm nervous. I don't know why she's perfectly fine, but quick. I am capable of controlling her and getting her to the right speed with rhythm and balance. I don't understand why I feel like this as I have jumped many courses before.

Whats the best advice you've been given about competition nerves or what do you say to yourself to make you just get on with the job?

She's totally fine with me with ground work and ridden work, infact I'm surprised that we get on so well already! I was expecting years :P)
 
Why 'should' you be out jumping her? She's your horse, enjoy her. Why put yourself under pressure, stop thinking about what you should be doing, and do what you want to do with her. When your ready, your nerves will go too. :)
 
I dont know, I feel that she's wasted if I don't let her reach her full potential. I think it's just one of those things that once I break the nerves I'll be out every weekend jumping ridiculous courses.
 
Well that might be part of the problem. You are putting extra pressure on yourself, feeling like you are wasting her. Believe me, I bet the horse doesn't care :D I would just start doing what you are comfortable with, if possible in a low pressure situation. :)
 
She wont care what shes doing as long as she is loved and cared for.

If you want to push your self and get jumping her *shoves* now go book your self in to a nice local clear round and get a friend to come along with you for support and to stop you pulling out. Its a well known fact that I threaten JFTD with a fence post if shes threatening to wimp out on me :D maybe find some one to threaten you with a beating that might help ;).
 
asommerville said:
bachs rescue remedy ;-)
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IMO that stuff is the biggest rip off ever!! Sorry - don't mean to be rude!! OP - I am the same as you - I thrive off the feeling that I should be doing more with my horse - and I won't be happy until I do. Prob is that I get REALLY nervous now and my mare can be a handful. I think the key is to wait until you feel ready to give a TINY achievement a go. Just because it's a tiny achievement - ie a small clear round comp or fun ride, doesn't mean it's not important - it really is for both you and your gee gee!!

For me - it's a big achievement to take my girl somewhere new this year (I've had her two years and not been anywhere else!). I am scared - she is a skitty and flighty mare and she is BIG! But I have just taken the plunge and told a friend that I WILL go on a farm ride - dates are being sorted as we speak. I have bought myself a body protector and a new hat (I have dropped mine a few times) and taken the time to get used to the thought before doing it! The way I look at it is - I am going to get my horse in the box, take her to the farm ride, unload her and see how she is for a half an hour. If I don't feel comfortable getting on - then fine!! I will lunge her and walk her around until my friend finishes the ride! I have every intention of getting on and doing at least part of the ride - if not all - but I also have given myself that comfort of knowing that at the end of the day - she is my horse I can do what I like!!
 
You need to do something different to give you the confidence to take the next step.

You could try a hypnotherepy tape - they can really help to control your thinking and are not a huge investment if it doesn't work for you (Sharon Shinwell is worth a go), anyway they really help you relax & sleep at night even if you never get to hear the hynotherepy bit

Or, on a more practical basis, you need to take the pressure off yourself and do it in stages.... first step, get to a show, second step jump something, even if it takes you 2 or 3 shows before you actually enter a class, thats fine. I was at a CCI** event at the Weekend End and there were massess of top riders just riding their horses around the event (not competing) to give them confidence and experience.

Some small shows are really sweet, you could just take her to a show early for the clear round but firstly aim to do the practice jumps - and only do the clear round if that goes OK. Or get your instructor to go in the CR ring with you and talk your through the jumps in sections (some little shows are fine with that as the Clear Round is primarily there for giving confidence).

Good luck
 
Moomin1 said:
IMO that stuff is the biggest rip off ever!! Sorry - don't mean to be rude!! OP - I am the same as you - I thrive off the feeling that I should be doing more with my horse - and I won't be happy until I do. Prob is that I get REALLY nervous now and my mare can be a handful. I think the key is to wait until you feel ready to give a TINY achievement a go. Just because it's a tiny achievement - ie a small clear round comp or fun ride, doesn't mean it's not important - it really is for both you and your gee gee!!

For me - it's a big achievement to take my girl somewhere new this year (I've had her two years and not been anywhere else!). I am scared - she is a skitty and flighty mare and she is BIG! But I have just taken the plunge and told a friend that I WILL go on a farm ride - dates are being sorted as we speak. I have bought myself a body protector and a new hat (I have dropped mine a few times) and taken the time to get used to the thought before doing it! The way I look at it is - I am going to get my horse in the box, take her to the farm ride, unload her and see how she is for a half an hour. If I don't feel comfortable getting on - then fine!! I will lunge her and walk her around until my friend finishes the ride! I have every intention of getting on and doing at least part of the ride - if not all - but I also have given myself that comfort of knowing that at the end of the day - she is my horse I can do what I like!!
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And she will be fine! :D

Some sound advice here, OP. It angers me that people think they are 'wasting' their horse. Horses are quite happy sat grazing in a field, anything else you do with them is a plus :)

I've found making a 'goals' list has helped immensely. There are some easy ones (ride to the field bareback, mad but I've not done it on Meg!) to jumping the scary tyre double at the yard, which will be a huge push. It's very satisfying, slowly crossing them off and gives me inspiration for the next goal.
 
Have you got a friend to go with?
moral support helps, also start small, low key and build it up.

Just a question, your name.

Are you anything to do with holy hedge animal sanctuary?
 
Really appreciate all the advice! Thank you! My friend would come with me but she doesn't really have time (own horse and working at a riding school -slave basically).
At home I'm fine; today I jumped this:
b5645dcf.jpg

But the thought of leaving the yard with just my mare and hoping for the best when we arrive(gets extremely bargey, doesn't stand and is restless). I don't think anybody from my yard would come. The lady who would most likely come can't because her horse is recovering from colic surgery (very well:D), she's the one who I'd feel most at ease, and my mare would be relaxed with her horse too they're hacking buddies:).

I've asked my instructor if she would give me some jumping lessons (she's a 4* eventer so knows quite a lot) so I can gain more control and confidence when there are a couple of fences around; the last time I jumped with two fences up in a 20mX40m school we ended up nearly jumping the wing of the one! Wooooooops!
 
Moomin1 said:
For me - it's a big achievement to take my girl somewhere new this year (I've had her two years and not been anywhere else!). I am scared - she is a skitty and flighty mare and she is BIG! But I have just taken the plunge and told a friend that I WILL go on a farm ride - dates are being sorted as we speak. I have bought myself a body protector and a new hat (I have dropped mine a few times) and taken the time to get used to the thought before doing it! The way I look at it is - I am going to get my horse in the box, take her to the farm ride, unload her and see how she is for a half an hour. If I don't feel comfortable getting on - then fine!! I will lunge her and walk her around until my friend finishes the ride! I have every intention of getting on and doing at least part of the ride - if not all - but I also have given myself that comfort of knowing that at the end of the day - she is my horse I can do what I like!!
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Make sure you let us know how you get on, and make sure you get pictures! :D
 
HollyhedgePippa said:
I don't think anybody from my yard would come. The lady who would most likely come can't because her horse is recovering from colic surgery (very well:D), she's the one who I'd feel most at ease, and my mare would be relaxed with her horse too they're hacking buddies:).
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blush :o thank you.

You should hack her up to the local showground tomorrow, no pressure to compete but just let her take in the atmosphere and see how she (and you) copes.

I will walk up with you if you want.
 
HollyhedgePippa said:
R
But the thought of leaving the yard with just my mare and hoping for the best when we arrive(gets extremely bargey, doesn't stand and is restless).
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She looks lovely. It sounds like you're putting too much pressure on yourself to get out competing straight away. If you're nervous about how she will react in a show situation, just concentrate on taking her to a few shows without entering any classes.

You can break it down into really small steps: first time, just walk her around so that she gets used to the sights. Next time, lunge her in a quiet corner and walk her around again. Next time, ride in the warm up ring. Next time, pop the jumps in the warm up ring.

If she acts up at any of these stages you can try again a week or two later; conversely if she turns out to be good as gold you can skip a few.

Basically, if you're not comfortable at the moment competing her, do what you are comfortable with until you've built up the confidence to go one step further.

Good luck! She looks like a real sweetheart. :)
 
Pfftttttt Emma! You and Pip are fab- get a grip ;) Of course I'd come with you as well... as long as it's on a sunday ;) Jokes, Lizzie can cope without me for one day!
 
Dont think about it, just get there have fun what always helps me is go for a clear round 1st, even if im on a horse thats jumping open ill do a clear round to go in and have a jump at a course that makes me feel so much better and makes me ride better because i know where to improve in the actuall class :)
 
Welllll...

I went for a hack on sunday, and the local show was on... and guess who ended up detouring on the way home? Me :) She was absolutely golden! She lead the whole hack, on main roads with big trucks, horseboxes and lots of noisy cars. Got to the show and she was dosile as anything! I think it really helped that I rode her there and she wasn't all tense on the trailer and like AH WHERE ARE WE. So guess who's going to compete there next month (well attempt to :) probably ride her in the warm up and see how it goes!). It really boosted my confidence up her being so relaxed.
 
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