I regret selling my horse and not because of the horse

[PuddingSummer]

I’m almost 4 months into horseless life after 10 years of owning and I am so bored. The mare I had was in absolutely no way suitable for my family because of very young children so it was the right decision. But I work from home, I’ve piled on the weight and I miss seeing familiar faces regularly outside of my immediate family or very small working team and having a regular break (no matter how small!) from my demanding little people.

Has anyone gone through this? Did you buy another?

I messaged one of the only decent yards left in the area a while ago asking for a small stable for a sec A when one becomes available feeling pretty desperate just to buy a pony as a pet for myself to locally show (I don’t want to ride!) and she messaged me a couple of weeks after offering her pony to loan for my daughter with the understanding that the pony wouldn’t get ridden much if at all and she just wants it loved. Went there last week to try, my daughter was horrendous the entire time, I text a couple of days ago saying I think daughter is still too young but can I have pony for myself and daughter can grow into it in the future. I’ve not received a response since - I’m planning to give it another week and then message saying sorry it hasn’t worked out, could I still be in line for a stable? I’m worried I’ve ruined our chances of getting onto the only yard I wanted to be at!!

 

[Trouper]

If you don't get any reply after a few more days I might try writing a fuller note explaining what you have set out here, emphasising the reasons that it is for yourself and acknowledging that you might have got off on the wrong foot? I am not sure why you took daughter if this project is meant for you and to give you some horsey time away from family and work but it may have led the manager to think that the pony in question might have ended up being ridden more than she wanted?? Anyway it might just be a communication issue and certainly worth another shot.

 

[pistolpete]

Don’t take small children to yards when important decisions are to be discussed! They are brilliant at picking up on any nervousness and apprehension and will be extra challenging in my experience! Just like horses! If you just need to go out more and need some exercise why not a dog?

 

[cauda equina]

Is it actually a pony you want, or a reason to be at that yard?

 

[Skib]

You dont need to own a horse to ride and to enjoy riding.
I live in an entirely non horsey world and for many years I rode from riding schools both school lessons and escorted hacks. The advantage of being an RS rider is that one has no stable duties and can schedule rides. I rode Tuesday and Friday mornings, but one can alter the time and day if one needs to, so I avoided riding on a Friday if I had been to the theatre the night before.

If you just need to go out more and need some exercise why not a dog?

My daughter has a dog with which we walk and I can promise you that walking a dog is nothing at all like riding or doing ground work with a horse.
Post Covid, I share a horse to hack and love her dearly but she doesnt do collection and dressage, so I am seriously thinking of booking some RS lessons.

I know a first RS lesson ( and also a hack) will be nothing but a chore on a safe, elderly, and ultra slow horse as no RS will believe one can canter until one shows them. I learned a simple dressage test for this purpose. But once you have been at a yard a month or so, staff will realise one is safe with a horse and knows what to do. They will ask if you are OK and then leave you to it.

 

[Abacus]

Maybe you are exactly the person that some peopl are looking for when they advertise non-ridden shares (as seen often in the 'cheeky things on Facebook' thread). Some are insane in asking for money and jobs in return for grooming and cuddles, but you might find someone who would love you to spend time with a non-ridden horse. You'd be welcome to do anything you wanted with my bunch!

 

[Bellaboo18]

You dont need to own a horse to ride and to enjoy riding.
I live in an entirely non horsey world and for many years I rode from riding schools both school lessons and escorted hacks. The advantage of being an RS rider is that one has no stable duties and can schedule rides. I rode Tuesday and Friday mornings, but one can alter the time and day if one needs to, so I avoided riding on a Friday if I had been to the theatre the night before.

My daughter has a dog with which we walk and I can promise you that walking a dog is nothing at all like riding or doing ground work with a horse.
Post Covid, I share a horse to hack and love her dearly but she doesnt do collection and dressage, so I am seriously thinking of booking some RS lessons.

I know a first RS lesson ( and also a hack) will be nothing but a chore on a safe, elderly, and ultra slow horse as no RS will believe one can canter until one shows them. I learned a simple dressage test for this purpose. But once you have been at a yard a month or so, staff will realise one is safe with a horse and knows what to do. They will ask if you are OK and then leave you to it.

OP doesn't want to ride!

 

[Peglo]

If you just need to go out more and need some exercise why not a dog?

I know I’m a cat person but having small children and a dog at home would surely make home life even more stressful. I’m guessing the idea of having a horse to play with is to escape chaos and have some quiet time.
Dogs and children are not my idea of peace and quiet though

OP I would give her a few days and if you hear nothing then say sorry things didn’t work out with her pony but you’d still be interested in a stable if it came available. She maybe wanted the pony to be ridden and was unsure how to say she thinks someone else might be a better fit.

 

[PuddingSummer]

Hi all, thank you for the replies - and a pass on the dog, I’ve had dogs and ponies and they are entirely different situations!

I cleared it with owner that said child doesn’t have any interest in riding, and that was made clear when I visited the first time without said child! Pony is elderly so was told that’s absolutely fine! I wanted a pony for both of us, because my daughter is very happy out of the house and I wanted to do it together but of course being so young she has her days of being defiant and loves a tantrum so only realised after trial day I may have overestimated her ability and wanted to be very upfront about it. But also realised that, as pony didn’t need the exercise that maybe she would be happy with just me going until toddler is older and more responsive to direction. Such a shame as I love the yard and don’t want it to go down badly with yard owner!

I have also been offered two other horses at the same yard, and if owner doesn’t want her pony loaned I have options but I don’t know if that would go down even worse!

 

[PuddingSummer]

Just to add, I’ve come across confusion about riding by several people previously. I’ve had and backed two youngsters and after my first mare went through tens of thousands in vet treatment, I just lost all motivation to ride whatsoever and was happily showing my other mare in hand instead. I haven’t wanted to ride since, but I love yard life, I loved having something to spoil and a routine of having horses. Last yard and horse wasn’t suitable at all for children so I gave it up thinking I could wait a few years to pick up buying a showing pony and maybe it will have to stay that way

 

[Glitter's fun]

Have you looked at volunteering opportunities in your area? Do you have an RDA?

 

[Bellaboo18]

I'm just trying to understand, it sounds like this is your 'thing' and time away from home life so why did you sell your previous horse due to not being suitable for children?

 

[Lilly-Mayspookatbags]

I fully understand the loneliness of working from home and the pitfalls. I’ve struggled following loosing my horse.

Is it possible to part loan something? Or help an owner out. I’m sure there’s many people who will be looking for help that have a non ridden companion ! Just thinking it will save you money and fully being committed to a horse (with you having a busy home life) Also volunteering at a local riding club / pony club ? Keeps you in the loop and out talking to people

 

[Skib]

OP doesn't want to ride!

Apologies. My share does not depend on me for exercise so, if I dont feel up to riding her, I do ground work with her in the school instead. However ground work does not provide exercise for the human nor keep my weight under control.

 

[Nonjumper]

I’m almost 4 months into horseless life after 10 years of owning and I am so bored. The mare I had was in absolutely no way suitable for my family because of very young children so it was the right decision. But I work from home, I’ve piled on the weight and I miss seeing familiar faces regularly outside of my immediate family or very small working team and having a regular break (no matter how small!) from my demanding little people.

Has anyone gone through this? Did you buy another?

I messaged one of the only decent yards left in the area a while ago asking for a small stable for a sec A when one becomes available feeling pretty desperate just to buy a pony as a pet for myself to locally show (I don’t want to ride!) and she messaged me a couple of weeks after offering her pony to loan for my daughter with the understanding that the pony wouldn’t get ridden much if at all and she just wants it loved. Went there last week to try, my daughter was horrendous the entire time, I text a couple of days ago saying I think daughter is still too young but can I have pony for myself and daughter can grow into it in the future. I’ve not received a response since - I’m planning to give it another week and then message saying sorry it hasn’t worked out, could I still be in line for a stable? I’m worried I’ve ruined our chances of getting onto the only yard I wanted to be at!!

I became horseless after over 20 years of being a horse person. I never bought another. Instead found another hobby to fill my life with that took up my time and got me out of the house and meeting other people.

But if you want another pony/horse, go buy one. A nice little native shouldn't be too much trouble, and will keep you out of mischief ... hopefully

 

[Tiddlypom]

I’m a bit confused, but if your toddler had a tantrum when you went to view the pony then YO might understandably be thinking that she doesn’t want that noise and fuss on the yard.

How are you going to be able to escape your very young children to go to the yard without them for down time?