clairencappelli
Well-Known Member
I am very much struggling to cope and to come to terms with what happened and to say im devastated is in understament, i have never felt to much pain and cant stop crying.
The MRI scan that Cappelli had on her left hind foot and also her left fore foot showed muliple problems. Tim Mair gave me the initial results straight after and said it wasnt good news and didnt think she would ever be sound but he would go through it all carefully and report back which i recieved on saturday.
The left hind foot was the worst, she had bad navicular behind which is incredibley rare and a bad collateral ligament injury ( this what went at the faversham show i suspect as she was sound one second the slipped down a gully the next and was lame ). She had damage to a DDFT (deep digital flexor tendon) and lesions and also cartledge and bone damage.
The left fore foot also had navicular althougt less advanced, some damage to the DDFT and some cartledge damage.
Tim said however we treat it we will cause more damage- the soft tissues need rest to be given any change but the navicular needs movement so i was really going to be stuck between a rock and a hard place.
I put her on box rest and went throught the report monday with a meeting at the vet with the vetwho delt with her and also my regular vet who has always looked after her karen.
The long and short of it was she would have to have undergone a long period of box rest with controlled walking ( yeah right! ) for severel months just for the collateral ligament but even with remidial shoeing, joint medication and tildren treatment she most likely wouldnt even have been field sound . They said she might be sound enough to hack inbetween bouts of lameness but that was best outcome.
I decided if she wasnt able to run around in the field like she does even after the rest when that was no life for her.
I also had to consider money as when the ins money ran out i wouldnt be able to afford these treatments so regularly and shoeing and didnt want to go down the road of staring it and not being able to carry on when she couldnt at least retire in comfort.
I had to consider all these and made the most gut wrenching desion of my life. If she had of fallen and hurt herself in the field and broken a leg it would have been so much easier to have desion taken away from me.
I buted her up for her last days and let her out to rest the grass. Thursday i spend the moring wathcing in the field and had spoke to david funnel and arranged a cremation. I made her a stable in the barn and stacked 4 straw bales high and took all the straw from her stable and laid fresh ontop so she has her usual bed fit for a princess to lay down on.
I brought her in 30 mins before and gave her a big mix feed full of apples and made her all pretty and painted her feet and groomed her and the vet came shaking and we both just broken down together.
She sedated her and i went to the barn with her and cuddled her head under my arm and after the laid down i laid with her and held her face and covered her eye as the sight is the last thing to go and i didnt want her to see just hear my voice. I told her how much i loved her and she slipped away peacefully.
I sat with her for 30 mins with the vet and we talked about her and cuddled her and then davide turned up to collect her and the vet laft and i said my final good bye and took a section of tail and mane.
We all went into the tack room with the vet and watch my last chilham video of her at her best ( and worst launching herself about ) and laughted and cried together.
I struggled fri as i went down the yard because i felt i had to before i couldnt and i just broke down when i didnt her her face waiting for me.
Friday i felt intense guilt and hated my self for when i did but yesterday was a bit better so im hoping at time goes on i will feel less pain.
Im sorry its so long but i felt i had to type it out and i guess its a way of coming to terms with it.
The MRI scan that Cappelli had on her left hind foot and also her left fore foot showed muliple problems. Tim Mair gave me the initial results straight after and said it wasnt good news and didnt think she would ever be sound but he would go through it all carefully and report back which i recieved on saturday.
The left hind foot was the worst, she had bad navicular behind which is incredibley rare and a bad collateral ligament injury ( this what went at the faversham show i suspect as she was sound one second the slipped down a gully the next and was lame ). She had damage to a DDFT (deep digital flexor tendon) and lesions and also cartledge and bone damage.
The left fore foot also had navicular althougt less advanced, some damage to the DDFT and some cartledge damage.
Tim said however we treat it we will cause more damage- the soft tissues need rest to be given any change but the navicular needs movement so i was really going to be stuck between a rock and a hard place.
I put her on box rest and went throught the report monday with a meeting at the vet with the vetwho delt with her and also my regular vet who has always looked after her karen.
The long and short of it was she would have to have undergone a long period of box rest with controlled walking ( yeah right! ) for severel months just for the collateral ligament but even with remidial shoeing, joint medication and tildren treatment she most likely wouldnt even have been field sound . They said she might be sound enough to hack inbetween bouts of lameness but that was best outcome.
I decided if she wasnt able to run around in the field like she does even after the rest when that was no life for her.
I also had to consider money as when the ins money ran out i wouldnt be able to afford these treatments so regularly and shoeing and didnt want to go down the road of staring it and not being able to carry on when she couldnt at least retire in comfort.
I had to consider all these and made the most gut wrenching desion of my life. If she had of fallen and hurt herself in the field and broken a leg it would have been so much easier to have desion taken away from me.
I buted her up for her last days and let her out to rest the grass. Thursday i spend the moring wathcing in the field and had spoke to david funnel and arranged a cremation. I made her a stable in the barn and stacked 4 straw bales high and took all the straw from her stable and laid fresh ontop so she has her usual bed fit for a princess to lay down on.
I brought her in 30 mins before and gave her a big mix feed full of apples and made her all pretty and painted her feet and groomed her and the vet came shaking and we both just broken down together.
She sedated her and i went to the barn with her and cuddled her head under my arm and after the laid down i laid with her and held her face and covered her eye as the sight is the last thing to go and i didnt want her to see just hear my voice. I told her how much i loved her and she slipped away peacefully.
I sat with her for 30 mins with the vet and we talked about her and cuddled her and then davide turned up to collect her and the vet laft and i said my final good bye and took a section of tail and mane.
We all went into the tack room with the vet and watch my last chilham video of her at her best ( and worst launching herself about ) and laughted and cried together.
I struggled fri as i went down the yard because i felt i had to before i couldnt and i just broke down when i didnt her her face waiting for me.
Friday i felt intense guilt and hated my self for when i did but yesterday was a bit better so im hoping at time goes on i will feel less pain.
Im sorry its so long but i felt i had to type it out and i guess its a way of coming to terms with it.
