I shouldn't have done it ...

E

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The other week I was riding my 5 yro. She was prof. broken and knows outline, jumping etc and at the end of our ride i asked her to stand in her outline for 5 secs, not much for her. She had been 'upety' the whole ride and she was just fighting me to stand still, I lost my temper with her and smacked her with my whip, she kept fighting with me and in the end i smacked her again and she then stood. I feel terrible about it and I know that I shouldn't have done it. My horse now doesn't trust me and I have been working with her on the ground for 3 weeks trying to get her trust back but it's not working. I havn't been able to ride for 2 weeks as have a problem with knees. Can anyone suggest what I should do? I feel terrible about the whole situation :(
 
I think you need to get back on! I highly HIGHLY doubt she'll have lost complete trust in you from one smack (ours certainly dont!). Just get back on a ride confidently.

It sounds like you're pussy footing around her and she's looking at you thinking, damn, you've lost your confidence, there must be something SUPER scary.

Get back on, praise etc. And if you feel like you'll lose your temper with her again, don't get on with a whip at all. Good luck xx
 
Cedars said:
I think you need to get back on! I highly HIGHLY doubt she'll have lost complete trust in you from one smack (ours certainly dont!). Just get back on a ride confidently.

It sounds like you're pussy footing around her and she's looking at you thinking, damn, you've lost your confidence, there must be something SUPER scary.

Get back on, praise etc. And if you feel like you'll lose your temper with her again, don't get on with a whip at all. Good luck xx
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I would sure love to get back on her. One problem, I can hardly walk at the moment with my knees, having physio every week and got at least another 2 weeks of no riding :( xx
 
Dovorian said:
Ground work then, whatever happens don't avoid her for 2 weeks...
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Have been spending time with her on the gound, grooming etc. Can't lunge or freeschool as can't plant myself if she does anything. Another problem we have is tying up. Never been able to do it, snaps the bailing twine everyday so we use the elastic bungee's with panic hooks? Even then she breaks them, we can't leave her tied up therefore when we begin to compete her she will have to stay in the trailer when we arn't around. Any tips for that? x
 
Exclusive Edition said:
we can't leave her tied up therefore when we begin to compete her she will have to stay in the trailer when we arn't around. Any tips for that? x
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She shouldn't be left unattended tied to a trailer anyway so I can't really see why that is an issue. Sounds far more like she is being a madam and testing the boundaries as opposed to having lost trust in you due to a smack. If you can't do anything with her pay someone to lunge/ride her. Doing nothing at that age when she is used to being mentally stimulated can be a recipe for disaster and don't be afraid to utilise some tough love if you have to.
 
amage said:
She shouldn't be left unattended tied to a trailer anyway so I can't really see why that is an issue. pay someone to lunge/ride her.
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By the trailer I mean when i go to book in, toilet those sort of quick trips, I drive my own trailer so often is only me. And i have the YO riding her for me a few times a week
 
Most shows ask you NOT to leave horses tied to trailers/lorry now as standard. And at least you know she's safe in the trailer.

My horse was a pain to tie up he was just bloody minded - didn't want to go anywhere just knew he could break the string now I use these plastic things instead of string i got them from Badminton- i can't remember what they are called and don't have one here. They will come apart if a horse panics but not through a straight stubborn pull back, they we £20 for 5 i think and they look lots smarter on the side of the lorry too. Now he doesn't try as he realises they won't break- i'll try and find them...
 
Exclusive Edition said:
By the trailer I mean when i go to book in, toilet those sort of quick trips, I drive my own trailer so often is only me. And i have the YO riding her for me a few times a week
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But when you do go to book in etc you should not be leaving her tied up unattended!!!!! It sounds like more a confidence issue on your part and the mare taking advantage. How is she going for your yo??
 
What has she actually done to indicate that she has lost her confidence in you? Whatever it is, I doubt it was from the smack, much more likely she can read your attitude towards her now and if you are hesitant she is worried.

I echo the above, I would not leave a horse unattended to go to the toilet, sign in, etc. I am afraid I also would not take a young horse on its first few shows on my own either. You need another person there to give you a hand with all sorts of things at least until your get into a routine.
 
Exclusive Edition said:
Have been spending time with her on the gound, grooming etc. Can't lunge or freeschool as can't plant myself if she does anything. Another problem we have is tying up. Never been able to do it, snaps the bailing twine everyday so we use the elastic bungee's with panic hooks? Even then she breaks them, we can't leave her tied up therefore when we begin to compete her she will have to stay in the trailer when we arn't around. Any tips for that? x
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To get my horses used to be tied up, I you 2 bog standard lead ropes, one tied as standard to the tie ring with twine and a second rope which is 1foot longer also tied to the same ring with OLD twine, both obs clipped onto the head collar.

The reason I do this is so the horse learns that it pulls back it's still tried up, so no hooning off, but the old twine will break if an emergency. I would never do this in an uncontrolled situation, do it at a quite time in the yard and firstly in the stable and slowly build from there. You need to get her respiting the rope before you try tring her up at shows.
 
I think your problem now could be that you think you have a problem. Sometimes I read this forum and feel that everyone is the perfect horse owner apart from me. There are back checks, teeth checks, saddle checks all at the right time and not forgotten or delayed because you forgot to write them on the calander. The answer is always to do more groundwork and provide your horse with clear signals (which you will be able to communicate first time with no mistakes). No one ever looses their temper, has a bad day and the solution to the problem is always obvious. There is no need for flash nosebands or any bit that isn't a snaffle!

Obviously I'm exagerating (quite a bit) but you get the drift. You gave your horse a couple of smacks because it wouldn't stand still - then it stood still. Sounds about right to me. If the smacks were becuase you lost your temper just remember next time there is always another day and no one is perfect. I have got to the point with my pony where I stopped half way round the school, got off and put him back in his stable because if I hadn't I would have totally lost my temper with him.

Maybe try not to overthink that one situation, there is a chance it's makeing you more wary of handling your horse. Try to be confident, get your instructor on him and gingers crossed you'll be better to ride him again soon so you can put this behind you. Good Luck. :)
 
Walrus said:
I think your problem now could be that you think you have a problem. Sometimes I read this forum and feel that everyone is the perfect horse owner apart from me. There are back checks, teeth checks, saddle checks all at the right time and not forgotten or delayed because you forgot to write them on the calander. The answer is always to do more groundwork and provide your horse with clear signals (which you will be able to communicate first time with no mistakes). No one ever looses their temper, has a bad day and the solution to the problem is always obvious. There is no need for flash nosebands or any bit that isn't a snaffle!

Obviously I'm exagerating (quite a bit) but you get the drift. You gave your horse a couple of smacks because it wouldn't stand still - then it stood still. Sounds about right to me. If the smacks were becuase you lost your temper just remember next time there is always another day and no one is perfect. I have got to the point with my pony where I stopped half way round the school, got off and put him back in his stable because if I hadn't I would have totally lost my temper with him.

Maybe try not to overthink that one situation, there is a chance it's makeing you more wary of handling your horse. Try to be confident, get your instructor on him and gingers crossed you'll be better to ride him again soon so you can put this behind you. Good Luck. :)
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Best advice ever!!!
 
Walrus said:
I think your problem now could be that you think you have a problem. Sometimes I read this forum and feel that everyone is the perfect horse owner apart from me. There are back checks, teeth checks, saddle checks all at the right time and not forgotten or delayed because you forgot to write them on the calander. The answer is always to do more groundwork and provide your horse with clear signals (which you will be able to communicate first time with no mistakes). No one ever looses their temper, has a bad day and the solution to the problem is always obvious. There is no need for flash nosebands or any bit that isn't a snaffle!

Obviously I'm exagerating (quite a bit) but you get the drift. You gave your horse a couple of smacks because it wouldn't stand still - then it stood still. Sounds about right to me. If the smacks were becuase you lost your temper just remember next time there is always another day and no one is perfect. I have got to the point with my pony where I stopped half way round the school, got off and put him back in his stable because if I hadn't I would have totally lost my temper with him.

Maybe try not to overthink that one situation, there is a chance it's makeing you more wary of handling your horse. Try to be confident, get your instructor on him and gingers crossed you'll be better to ride him again soon so you can put this behind you. Good Luck. :)
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Thanks for that, I think overthinking it was the problem. Just thanks in general :) xx
 
amage said:
But when you do go to book in etc you should not be leaving her tied up unattended!!!!!
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You shouldn't but in reality people do. I do. If you're on your own somewhere and your horse is used to being tied up outside then I dont see an issue. I leave mine tied up to the trailer at all times - he hates being kept in and I'd worry about him more inside. He's broken off once in the 8 years I've had him (with events most weekends). I've seen far more accidents where the horses have been left in their lorries - getting stuck in their haynets, getting their legs stuck over bars etc. No events round here demand a horse is kept in so at most events I go to, horses are left tied up. I think we've been asked once to keep the horses in at a BSJA event, but we dont and nobody complains.

There's no way I could keep mine in, especially when my horse is studded up - so if I'm on my own, I have to put studs in and out (because you cant put the horse in with studs in) EVERY single time I want to go to the toilet / enter / walk a SJ course / walk the XC course / check the score boards etc. etc.?!
 
I think the horse is just messing you about, and is probably a very very nice horse. I know if I had smacked my boy to stand still he wouldn't have stood for it and would have fidgited more.
It's just a case of repetition with those things.

From what you've posted I actually think you sound very impatient and you can't be bothered to deal with her unless she is perfectly behaved, and have not put the work in yourself. Why should she listen to you?
 
two things- when you say "smack" to you mean hands off the reins and belted using all your force, or a tap with the whip to get her to listen to what you were asking her? 2 very different things IMO.

Also you are projecting human emotion onto your horse "she does not trust me"- when it seems you appear to be racked with guilt- she will not even remember the incident!
why were you even carrying a whip if using it causes this much angst?
 
My youngsters have never lost faith in me froma smack or 2, 1 of them is rude enough to need it occassionally!! BUT, I try not to discipline in temper. If I feel myself getting angry I may smack once, then drop my whip. I have previously got off and stood for a mo to chill then got back on with the current youngster. If anything has annoyed me before I ride, I don't pick up a whip to start with.

I would just get on with it as if it never happened.
 
I would never leave my horse unattended for any length of time, tied to the side of a trailer or lorry, the amount of horses I see at shows in distress, nearly hanging themselves by their haynets etc

As regards the other issue, I think she is testing and as others have said you or someone just needs to get back on
 
NOISYGIRL said:
I would never leave my horse unattended for any length of time, tied to the side of a trailer or lorry, the amount of horses I see at shows in distress, nearly hanging themselves by their haynets etc
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I actually thought that at affiliated events, at least, you weren't allowed to leave a horse unattended.
 
amymay said:
I actually thought that at affiliated events, at least, you weren't allowed to leave a horse unattended.
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At BE there is no rule and often you see horses left tied up at the side of the lorry/trailer or on board. I have actually seen more accidents from horses being left ON the transport but equally that could be that they are left on board as they are more likely to throw a strop.

I had to always leave my previous horse in my trailer and never tied up if I wasn't there. He was a cheeky b**ger and would break free, even though he had a net as soon as I walked away. Don't know how it will work out with my new boy but as he is a bit stressy and young, its been off the lorry and on board while he settles down.
 
Cedars said:
I think you need to get back on! I highly HIGHLY doubt she'll have lost complete trust in you from one smack (ours certainly dont!). Just get back on a ride confidently.

It sounds like you're pussy footing around her and she's looking at you thinking, damn, you've lost your confidence, there must be something SUPER scary.

Get back on, praise etc. And if you feel like you'll lose your temper with her again, don't get on with a whip at all. Good luck xx
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Completely and utterly agree with this, it is HIGHLY unlikely that the couple of smacks you gave her have caused a loss of confidence, much more likely that she has picked up on your own lack of confidence.
 
Aside from the original question, which Walrus answered well, the OP never said she was planning to tie the horse up outside the trailer (sometimes I really wonder whether anyone on here actually reads things properly) - she said she might need to leave the horse IN the trailer while she went to the loo/sorted entries etc. Which most of us do.
 
Exclusive Edition said:
Have been spending time with her on the gound, grooming etc. Can't lunge or freeschool as can't plant myself if she does anything. Another problem we have is tying up. Never been able to do it, snaps the bailing twine everyday so we use the elastic bungee's with panic hooks? Even then she breaks them, we can't leave her tied up therefore when we begin to compete her she will have to stay in the trailer when we arn't around. Any tips for that? x
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To train horses to tie up I use THREE loops of baler twine, each a few inches bigger than the last. I put the rope through all 3 in one so that when they pull back the first will snap (this allows the horse some backward movement)allowing the second to take over, if still pulling back hard the second string will go but have never had a horse that took the third string out. It's as if they get it over with on the first two. Use three loops idea every time for a while, usually cures. Might help you.
 
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