KVH
Well-Known Member
What a good idea.
I still haven't got my nerve back. How do people do it?
- Thread starter Jesstickle
- Start date
What a good idea.
ecrozier
Well-Known Member
Know how you are feeling, totally.
I'd say rather than terrifying yourself walking out alone, go in the school. Unless its tiny, sticking to the edge in walk I'm sure won't do masses of harm if you can't get out and about every time?
I'd say rather than terrifying yourself walking out alone, go in the school. Unless its tiny, sticking to the edge in walk I'm sure won't do masses of harm if you can't get out and about every time?
jvm100
Well-Known Member
Deep breathing! Practice when your not riding abduction make sure you breath from your tummy not your upper chest. try to challenge any helpful thoughts and try to plan a self calming statement before you start.talking in a calm relaxed voice is great. talk to someone with you or to your horse and keep both of you calm and relaxed!!!! Your body has learnt to trigger your survival response for an anticipatory threat, so can be taught to respond in a more positive way. don't give up. you'll get there if you want to!!!!
jjerome
Member
definite thumbs up for Jo Cooper - excellent , worked for me
TheoryX1
Well-Known Member
I feel your pain very much. I have to say my horse has never reared on me, thank goodness, but I have had a few crashing falls in the last couple of years and the older you get the worse it seems and I dont bounce like I used to.
My horse is mr bombproof and mr confidence giver, but when you are shaking like a leaf you still cant make yourself believei it. I found going out with another livery, whose horse is safe, and who is an experienced and calm rider helped me loads. I still dont like going out cantering on my own, as thats when I had the last fall when he was a bit naughty because he was so excited at going cantering, but I am happy to go cantering now in company. However, I have lost my taste for mad hooleys, and would much prefer going cantering with Mini TX, who has brakes and is sensible.
You will be fine, honestly.
My horse is mr bombproof and mr confidence giver, but when you are shaking like a leaf you still cant make yourself believei it. I found going out with another livery, whose horse is safe, and who is an experienced and calm rider helped me loads. I still dont like going out cantering on my own, as thats when I had the last fall when he was a bit naughty because he was so excited at going cantering, but I am happy to go cantering now in company. However, I have lost my taste for mad hooleys, and would much prefer going cantering with Mini TX, who has brakes and is sensible.
You will be fine, honestly.
TeamChaser
Well-Known Member
Mine went through a stage of frightening the cr@p out of me a few years ago. Got really bad in traffic and would whip round at speed at any approaching vehicle. Strangely, I never came off (and I've come of of this horse a lot!) but it was the fear of coming off and horse being loose in traffic that terrified me. Of course the more nervous I became, the worse it got
Luckily I have a sister who has never suffered a confidence crisis (lucky cow
) and she basically bullied me in to manning up a bit. She spelt it out for me .... basically, if I couldn't get over the nerves the horse would have to go. When I sat and really thought about it I couldn't let him go so just had to get over it - was kind of the only option
So gritted teeth and the tough love began! Nat borrowed a horse and hacked out with me and sure enough, every time a vehicle approached, I went absolutely rigid! So she bellowed at me and gave me a proper telling off for making my horse nervous I think in the end I became so indignant at the constant dressing downs, forgot to be nervous
She also made me go and ride out at the racing yard she was working at. Weirdly on horses that I didn't know I wasn't nervous because I guess you're not expeting anything because you don't know the horse. Some of them were complete sh**s and suddenly my boy seemed like a breeze
Good luck! You'll get there and look back on this in a few months time and be able to give yourself a big pat on the back. Huge sense of achievement to be had conquering nerves
Luckily I have a sister who has never suffered a confidence crisis (lucky cow
) and she basically bullied me in to manning up a bit. She spelt it out for me .... basically, if I couldn't get over the nerves the horse would have to go. When I sat and really thought about it I couldn't let him go so just had to get over it - was kind of the only optionSo gritted teeth and the tough love began! Nat borrowed a horse and hacked out with me and sure enough, every time a vehicle approached, I went absolutely rigid! So she bellowed at me and gave me a proper telling off for making my horse nervous
I think in the end I became so indignant at the constant dressing downs, forgot to be nervousShe also made me go and ride out at the racing yard she was working at. Weirdly on horses that I didn't know I wasn't nervous because I guess you're not expeting anything because you don't know the horse. Some of them were complete sh**s and suddenly my boy seemed like a breeze
Good luck! You'll get there and look back on this in a few months time and be able to give yourself a big pat on the back. Huge sense of achievement to be had conquering nerves
Angua2
Well-Known Member
I would be happy to box up to you for hacking out on a weekend if you want.
As for the confidence, it is hard fought easy lost. Baby steps, a good support crew and a repetoir of songs is the key..... but not nelly the elephant as I discovered you can speed that one up!*chuckles*
BTW is that you going over those rather large tractor tyres in your sig???
As for the confidence, it is hard fought easy lost. Baby steps, a good support crew and a repetoir of songs is the key..... but not nelly the elephant as I discovered you can speed that one up!*chuckles*
BTW is that you going over those rather large tractor tyres in your sig???
ironhorse
Well-Known Member
Look how many of us are in the same boat Jess! My sweet but green QH baby went over backwards with me in March and it has taken forever for me to get any sort of confidence with him. Our other horse has gone on loan and no one else at our yard hacks regularly so I have had to tackle it alone. My OH walks with us sometimes but has a chronic lung problem so can't go far or keep up very well!
I've been tootling along our bridleway all summer and planning to do more in the fields this autumn before braving some more roadwork - the wet weather has put paid to riding in the fields so I have now made the decision to get on with it.
But in addition to all the other great advice you have been given, I find that 'small steps' helps me - I tell myself that we only have to go 50yds down the road and then come back if we don't feel like it. I usually go further than that but it gives me a get out clause! With mine being a youngster I always work him a bit in the school first - my nerves and his freshness are not a good combination.
But I have had some successful hacks on him, and I've gone from saying to my OH "I can't do this" when both out horses spooked at a mole plough to being able to convince baby horse that 4 large dogs on long leads weren't going to eat him! If I can do it so can you.
I've been tootling along our bridleway all summer and planning to do more in the fields this autumn before braving some more roadwork - the wet weather has put paid to riding in the fields so I have now made the decision to get on with it.
But in addition to all the other great advice you have been given, I find that 'small steps' helps me - I tell myself that we only have to go 50yds down the road and then come back if we don't feel like it. I usually go further than that but it gives me a get out clause! With mine being a youngster I always work him a bit in the school first - my nerves and his freshness are not a good combination.
But I have had some successful hacks on him, and I've gone from saying to my OH "I can't do this" when both out horses spooked at a mole plough to being able to convince baby horse that 4 large dogs on long leads weren't going to eat him! If I can do it so can you.
Jesstickle
Well-Known Member
Where has this bobbled back up from?!
Thank you all for being so lovely and supportive
I can happily report that I am completely back to normal now. Hacking about on my own and took the little monkey to it's first show on Saturday (my 4yo not BH. BH has gone down the road on loan and is being absolutely super for someone else at the moment)
I can't remember who's analogy it was on another thread about marbles in a jar but I've been able to replace lots of marbles recently and now things, on balance, are positive again. Hopefully it'll stay that way for a while!
Although she did scare the bejesus out of me at the show having a totaly paddy on the trailer. My 'what if' disease seems to have transferred itself to things on the ground at the moment
Thank you all for being so lovely and supportive
I can happily report that I am completely back to normal now. Hacking about on my own and took the little monkey to it's first show on Saturday (my 4yo not BH. BH has gone down the road on loan and is being absolutely super for someone else at the moment)
I can't remember who's analogy it was on another thread about marbles in a jar but I've been able to replace lots of marbles recently and now things, on balance, are positive again. Hopefully it'll stay that way for a while!
Although she did scare the bejesus out of me at the show having a totaly paddy on the trailer. My 'what if' disease seems to have transferred itself to things on the ground at the moment
Jesstickle
Well-Known Member
Yep. Avec horrible, swingy-backy-lower leg as usual
But BH looks nice in it so I used it anyway .Redmerl
Well-Known Member
Sorry to hear you are feeling shakey. After 3 utterly stupid and unpredictable TBs I have bought myself the most perfect ID. I owe him everything. Is there something in your yard that is guaranteed quiet that you can borrow for a little while. I went from scared of hacking to xc in a few months
Cedars
Well-Known Member
This might be a really daft suggestion... but it helps me?
Is there any way you can up your safety gear? It doesn't have to be anything exciting like a PointTwo (although that's ultimately what I'm getting for xmas..!) but perhaps a neck strap, a pair of safety stirrups, a body protector etc? Something different to what you'd usually use, it may make you feel that bit safer, and give you a bit more confidence? It wouldn't need to be forever, just whilst you get your bottle back
Also, I wanted to say, there isn't anything wrong with losing your nerve after being landed on. I watched a horse go up and over onto someone once and it knocked MY confidence - let alone the confidence of the person on the horse (and then under the horse!).
Good luck
Is there any way you can up your safety gear? It doesn't have to be anything exciting like a PointTwo (although that's ultimately what I'm getting for xmas..!) but perhaps a neck strap, a pair of safety stirrups, a body protector etc? Something different to what you'd usually use, it may make you feel that bit safer, and give you a bit more confidence? It wouldn't need to be forever, just whilst you get your bottle back
Also, I wanted to say, there isn't anything wrong with losing your nerve after being landed on. I watched a horse go up and over onto someone once and it knocked MY confidence - let alone the confidence of the person on the horse (and then under the horse!).
Good luck
showpony
Well-Known Member
OP! firstly I think about 90% of us all have lost confidence at some stage!
Have you tried riding with your ipod on ( low ) or stick headphones in your mobile & have radio on in background. I always find if I do this distracts me from thinking about what " could happen"... Also would it be worth riding a friends horse while he/she rides your horse out with you so you can see how good your horse can be without having to worry at the same time?
Have you tried riding with your ipod on ( low ) or stick headphones in your mobile & have radio on in background. I always find if I do this distracts me from thinking about what " could happen"... Also would it be worth riding a friends horse while he/she rides your horse out with you so you can see how good your horse can be without having to worry at the same time?